Why, Why, why......do Disney Characters Do Mean Things to Others?

Most Disney cartoon movies are set around fairy tales. Just explain to her they are fairy tales and that most fairy tales have a moral to the story- basically good prevails over evil. Tell her that when people are mean to her (like with the princesses) to be just like the heroines- beautiful, nice, and most importantly, forgiving. I think some good life's lessons can be cultivated from these morals.

Why is she watching so many videos at daycare? As an early childhood teacher for over 30 years.....I see no reason for a daycare to be using videos to "babysit".....and babysitting is what they are doing in this case! Find one of the exvellent daycares in the area who have so many wonderful, creative activities going on, that there would never be time for a movie!

I think you have a wonderful opportunity to use her questions as a teachable (but age-appropriate) moment. You could choose to tell her that the movies are like that because that's the way they're "drawn", that it's just movies and not real, or you could discuss with her how everyone has bad days and mean moments, highlighting examples that she's had recently. This could be an opportunity to teach grace towards others when they're having a bad day, grow maturity in her by role playing about what's appropriate if she got in such a situation, and prepare her more for the real world. She's already in daycare so she's probably more realistic than children who stay home until Kindergarten, but it's still a shock to most children what other children are capable of once they hit public school. This may be an opportunity to start preparing her for, "You know honey, there are people out there in the world that just like to be mean. Sometimes the best thing with those people is just leave 'em alone as much as possible..." or similar.

Good luck!

Think about what you are asking - why do Disney movies show people doing awful things? Because people do awful things!!!!! They also do wonderful, kind, generous things, but this is real life my dear. The only way to control the messages is to completely isolate yourself and your child from books, others, movies, music ect.

The truth is that there are mean people who do mean things and we have to live with that and learn how to deal with that. Every story needs an antagonist or there wouldn't be much of a story. Disney movies are quite watered down versions of Fairy Tales that are much meaner and darker than the film versions.

If you are a Christian, the Bible is full of the conflict good versus evil. Even David, who was a man after God's own heart, killed, lied and committed adultery.

I understand wanting to protect our children. To have them think the world is a beautiful,safe, everything is wonderful place. BUT, we are actually doing them a grave disservice if we do that. Instead, use these conversations to teach her how to deal with bullies, we scary times, with mean people. Ask her what she would do - at three I bet her answer is very cute and reassuring to you. Help her to recognize that those are examples of how she doesn't want to be.

Give her a big hug and know that you are doing the best job as a mom that you possibly can do and that you love her very very very much.

I've always told my 3 boys, there's no such thing as a bad person, just good people who sometimes make bad choices. it's simple and they get it. and I whole-heartedly believe that because I believe that God didn't mess up anything or anyone, because he is GOD! my kids understand there are people in the world who make bad choices, but they don't assume that anyone is worth "writing off" so to speak. Even though movies sometime portray some ppl as "bad guy" "good guy" we can use this as a moment to say, not bad guy just bad choices, look at the world around you, sometimes it's very similar to a Disney movie (sadly) girls need to be saved by men, some person wants to destroy another's happiness... it helps to put into perspective, from a child's point of view, "welcome to the real world, baby." great question, really got me thinking, thank you!

If you say Disney movies are fairy tales, be sure to explain what fairy tales are - pretend make believe stories that are supposed to teach a moral and then help her find a moral in each story. Maybe you could read her the book that one of the movies was based on and say - the movie was based on this book and they are both pretend. Maybe you and her could even make up your own fairy tale with a bad guy and act it out with her toys - that would reinforce the message that someone made this up. She will learn soon enough that some people are mean...

First of all, mean things aren't only done in the movies, so don't let her think that. You are supposed to be preparing her for the "real" world. I haven't found the world yet where people aren't mean to each other.
Explain the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Get off your "high horse" about Disney movies. I grew up on The Three Stooges for heavens sake and have yet to do any othe things they got by with. You are not teaching your child how to cope with situations if you only let her believe there are good people and good things in this world.
Good luck to your child and let her be a kid.
W.

N.,
You are obviously a loving and caring Mommy. I have 4 children(14, 12, 4 and 2) and can tell you that the world will be full of bad things you can't control. When my two older kids were young, a friend advised me to teach my children resilience so they could deal with whatever comes along and not suffer for it. I think that starts at a young age....if I were you I would tell her that yes, sometimes people make the wrong choices but in the end the (princess or whatever) is strong and lives happily.

I agree, some of those movies are too much but in the end the heroine overcomes adversity...that's what's important.

Good luck!!

N.

I'm trying to think of one Disney movie that is horribly mean and violent... In any case as another poster mentioned these are watered down fairy tales and in order to have a good story you need a protagonist and and antagonist.

I'm sure your daycare has no idea that you would find this material upsetting. Disney movies are pretty universally "child safe", but I do agree that it is a problem that they are watching that many videos.

As for your question. It seems it could be completely unrelated to watching these films, but a completely valid question for a 3 year old to ask. Why do people do mean things? Great opportunity for discussion about choices and right and wrong.

Hi N.! I'm not sure why so many feel the need to defend Disney and think that it's time your daughter got a good dose of the "real world". I used to think that Disney movies were harmless, then I watched The Little Mermaid (one of my favorites growing up) with my son last week. I was shocked at how frightening the scenes with Ursula the sea witch were.
So, I don't have any advice for you except to say that it's okay to want to shield your daughter from violence. Remember, to a child these things are very real and frightening.

I agree with the poster who asked why your daughter is watching these movies at daycare. I can see a half hour show here or there but not a full length movie. I would expect more from a child care professional.

I'm not a big fan of Disney princess movies. I understand how confusing it is for a girl to see those messages. They don't really make sense in any modern context.

You might try explaining what a fairy tale is. Draw similarities between the different fairy tales and point out the marked differences between them and modern cartoon movies like Finding Nemo.

Fairy Tales were passed along verbally to warn children not to trust strangers and to have hope under terrible circumstances. For example, witches are strangers that might hurt you if you trust them and sometimes bad situations turn out good in the end if you stay cheerful and friendly to everyone instead of being mean and grumpy. Where in Nemo the message was trust your kids and listen to your parents. Lean on your friends and never give up.

It's better to expose your child to the ugliness of the world while she still comes to you for guidance and support. If you shelter her until she's older she'll be on her own when she learns about the world. This I remind myself of almost daily while bringing up my 2 little ones. Good luck

here's a suggestion: how about asking your daycare to show other shows where there isn't violence? Though I agree with the poster who said that they shouldn't even be watching videos at daycare, I also realize that it would be pretty unrealistic for you to demand that they not show them. So, how about asking them that if they are going to show videos, to show those that are kinder. The Dora and Diego shows are lovely as well as Blue's Clues and Curious George, Handy Manny.... There are a host of shows these days that are kind, teachable and enjoyable without the violence of the old fashioned cartoons. And yes, I understand, as some of the other M.'s posted, that there are bad things/people in the world, but, guess what? 3 year olds don't need to learn that just yet. They are too immature emotionally to truly process everything associated with those types of teachable moments. Believe me, they have plenty of time in their lives to learn about that stuff - but not now. I really would ask your daycare to take more care in what they show.

Like others said, in this world, there are very mean people. Just look at all the violence in the Middle East, even here at home. How many murders were there in your city? Unfortunately, you can shelter a your daughter for only so long. At 3, she doesn't need to know all that stuff. This is where being a parent is hard. You have to take all the messages kids are exposed to and turn that into a life's lesson. It's not as easy as it sounds. What you need to do is think of the values you want her to have and turn that into a lesson from the movies.

For instance, with Bambi, mom got shot, dad had to raise Bambi. That show's that a child can be raised by not only a mother, but a dad as well.

Another item that Disney brings with it is the fact that in most of the movies one parent is already either dead or dies. (I think there are only 2 Disney movies that didn't have 2 dead parents but I can't remember which ones. I think Peter Pan was one of them because Wendy's parents are both in the movie and don't die.) The problem with this message is that mommy/daddy don't live to see you grow up. This can cause many a nightmare in a child.

As for your daycare, sounds like the director needs to be spoken to. My experience with daycare is that they only showed videos around 4:00 to end of day when they started combining all the kids into one room.

Good luck!

wow why are they watching movies at daycare sounds like you need a new day care. by putting them infront of a tv they are not interacting with the kids. but mostly just tell her their are people in the world who do mean things and we just try not to be like them

I do think that 3 is a bit young to be watching some of these movies. I would talk to the daycare operator about my concerns. I would then tell her that my daughter is no longer to watch those movies. After all you are paying out the nose for the daycare I'm sure, so if you don't want her watching those things then she shouldn't be watching them.

I would start telling her that while no one should ever do those mean things, some people do them anyway and that is very wrong. I would tell her that while most people are very nice some people just aren't, and that is one reason we should never talk to strangers.