"Why Isn't My Daughter Talking like the Books Say She Is Supposed to Be Doing?"

You know I wouldn't worry yet. Some kids just talk later than others. We are definitely finding that our second baby is not talking as early as our first. Our daughter just has about 4 words and she is 15 months. Our son had at least 25-30 words that this eim. I would not worry about it yet, but you can always have a free evaluation done by First Steps if you are concerned. Some kids just talk late, I honestly believe that. The books out there are just guidelines but they don't mean and shoudl not imply that all kids are the same; they simply are not.

Children develop at differnt stages. Does your 4 yr old do alot of talking for her? Remember saying all kids should be saying 20 words at 20 months is like saying all cars that are 4 years old should have only 2000 miles. Take her to the pediatrician and see if there are any develpmental difficulties. It never hurts to be cautious. Relax, I am a mom of four and mine all talked at differnt ages. She will catch up.

I haven't had this trouble, my kids won't be quiet! BUT, my niece didn't talk for the Loooooongest time. She is now 10 and she is so incredibly bright and articulates like an adult. So don't worry, as long as she communicates with you so that you understand what she wants. There is a saying that parenting doesn't come with a manual. Those books are guides, not the rules. Good luck, I'm sure you'll look back one day and say "What was I thinking?" when she's talking your ear off.

J.,
I have 2 kids, my brother has 2 kids and my oldest brother has 3. The middle child and the youngest of all of kids, well they were slow to talk, because all the other kids talked for them.
They just took everything in, and the other kids, did what was necessary for them to communicate. The doctors would say, they aren't talking like they need too, well I have news for the medical world, those kids didn't "need" to talk, they were running the show all along, and ya know what? At about 2 2 1/2 they started talking and ya can't keep them quiet now. So really don't worry so much.
However if you really think there is a real problem, call First Steps of Indiana, they will come out and evaluate your child for free. It is a great service and it could put your mind at ease.
Goodluck!!!

I agree with Rebecca. My mom always told me that subsequent children take longer to talk because the older ones are there to talk for them. I would give her more time. Besides, maybe she's the quiet, reflective type. She's still really young. Our niece actually regressed in vocabulary until she was 4/5.

I have heard of this so much lately. The first child talks way early and so the mom is all worried because the second child doesn't talk until later. I think it is because the first child does all the talking for the second child. My oldest does this all the time. She says, "I think Andrew needs this" or she makes all the requests for him so he doesn't need to talk. Our neighbor had their second son tested because he didn't talk as much as their oldest did at the same age and found out that he was 6 months ahead of his age in talking! My sister-in-law was also worried about her second child because she was so quiet and didn't talk until much later than her first and now you can't get her to be quiet. So I think this is way common. I do know that you can get a speech therapist to evaluate your child through the local school district for free. If I were you, I would just try to stop comparing your children and not worry about it until 3 and then get them tested through the school district if you are still worried. Just my opinion.

Please don't worry. My son didn't say a word yet when he was 2 years old. The dr. adviced us to get him tested by first steps when he was 18 mo old. The first time around he tested behind in only one area (speech) but he needed to test behind in 2 areas to qualify. When he turned 2 the dr. adviced us to have him retested and this time he qualified due to his age (still only one area). We were not worried at all. He was smart and just used his brains for other things. He could build as the best and a puzzle was no challenge for him. He did get a jump start with speech therapy (free through first steps) and started talking when he was 2 1/2. He is now 4 and has yet to stop talking. He even rambles in his sleep. He already reads and counts to at least one hundred.
It is my uneducated opinion that the kids just do it in their time. If it would make you feel better you can have her tested by first steps. They really are very helpful and have a great program and service. It might give her a jump start. I do think that you can't compare kids. Good luck!

if she is delayed, the dr can refer her to early intervention for speech.my now 4 yr has had speech since she was 2. my 2yo is where she should be. there is probably nothing youve done or are doing that is wrong.some kids just need a little more help. its just good when it is caught early enough, like 2yo.

I wouldn't stress about it if I was you. You have to remember that those books are all guidelines and that all children are different. I didn't talk myself until I was almost 3, I say enjoy it while you can. When she turns 16 you will wish she lost the skill, I know my mom did.. lol

I agree with Elizabeth's advice! All kids progress at their own pace. I wouldn't really worry a whole lot at this point either. I had a cousin that didn't really talk at all until he was 3. He just wasn't ready. Everyone was concerned and then one day, he just started talking in complete sentences! Now he is 9 and is very smart and is at all the right levels for his age/grade! I would just encourage her to use her words ANY time she needed anything and not give in to points and grunts, keep reading to her, and hang in there. I'm sure she's fine!
~M.

I have had the same worries. I have a 19 month old girl doing the same thing. My son (who will be 5 next week) did everything so early. And my daughter just hasn't. I was mostly worried about her not talking as much, but I have figured out that my son talks for her. I never realized but it is what is actually happening. But now I am explaining to Dakotah that Olivia has to learn how to talk and I am asking him to please stay quiet when I ask Olivia what she wants, etc. I am also making her tell me something instead of grunting, etc. She gets mad and sometimes it takes a while to get her to tell me something, but it is helping.For example when she wants a drink, I will say to her, drink, repeatedly until she says something, it doesn't have to be exact but I just don't want the grunting and she is doing a lot better. Using a lot more words now. Ask me anything if you want. I would love to share my experiences if you need me too. Good Luck!

If there's one thing I've learned is that those books are not very helpful! (OR they are very helpful for making a mom worry) Like everyone else has said, remember that every kid is different. My 6 year old was talking full sentences by 15 months old, and my 4 year old had only a vocabulary of 2-3 words at that age. I promise that it's nothing that you've done, it sounds like you're trying to assit her. First off, call her doctor and express your concers. He'll want her hearing evaluated to rule that out, and can give you a reference number for First Steps (It is a lovely program, if she qualifies, I suggest you take full advantage of it.) Raithan, my 4 year old, saw a therapis though First Steps until he was 3, and they assisted us with the transistion into preschool where he sees a thereapist almost daily. Another thing you may want to so is to start teaching her sign language, it won't hinder her speech development, and the therapis told me that it actually helps reinforce the childs understanding of how speech works. You can teach her sign for "potty" and "thirst" and "hungry," just simple every day words that may make your (and hers) day more easier. She'll pick up on it quick too!

J., if the baby is only 20 months, give her some time. :) My oldest talked at 8 months and is very smart. My younger son didn't talk nearly as quickly and of course I worried. In time, he came around and does fine talking now. All children develop at different rates, and its never good to compare one to another. They are little individuals and do things as they become ready. I wouldnt worry alot. Continue working with her and keep the love and tolerance going. When she becomes preschool age and if she is still having trouble get referrals for the help she requires. Til then relax and let your baby do things on her time. Hope this helps.

My son is 3 and he is just started to talk. He is my second child. I have had him evaluated by pretty much everyone and they all say the same thing: nothing is wrong with him and he will talk when he wants. He understands everything that is going on around him and soon I will want the days back when he didn't speak!

They did suggest that I talk to much for him during our interactions. I wasn't making him talk. So now I make him say what he wants and he is talking much more.

To make yourself feel better, I would call first steps and have a free evaluation just to make sure everything is going good.

Hope this helps!

Your daughter isn't talking like the book says she's supposed to or like your other daughter did at that age for two basic reasons. 1.) she's not the book, and 2.) she's not your other daughter. If you're very worried then take her to the doctor and have him check her ears to be sure they are infection free and that she can hear propperly and call First Steps to do an evaluation. But more often than not it's going to have to do with reasons 1 and 2 and she will talk when she's ready.

First take a deep breathe and relax. You aren't doing anything wrong and its not anything that you have done.Im sure you are a great mom. Kids do things when they are ready to do them. She says some words, thats real good,that shows shes learning. Kids don't do things all at the same time. Thats great about your first child, but your second one may not do things as fast and thats ok. But she is learning and she will be talking more when shes ready to. i have a 7 month old and he hasn't started teething or said ma ma or da da yet but thats ok because he eventually will. Your daughter will start to talk more, it will just be on her terms when shes ready.

Contact First Steps in your area and request an evaluation. They'll come to your house and it's free. If she qualifies for services, she'll get speech therapy at your house every week. They just started charging (used to be free) but it's not much. I was told a 20 month old should have 20-25 words - clearly spoken that a stranger could understand. I'm going to be calling next month to request another evaluation because my 20 month old daughter isn't there yet. I had her evaluated at 15 months because she was having the same speech issues as my son (now 4, who's been in speech therapy for 2 years). She was borderline and just barely missed the cutoff for services. :(

I can only tell you what I saw with my nephew - he was a late talker as well. It seemed like he was never going to really speak in full sentences or really be understood - and then all of a sudden he was speaking. Try not to stress about it or pressure her. Read books with her and talk to her like you do with your older child. If you are still real worried, make an appointment with her doctor to talk about it. Kids seem to have their own timetable.

I also agree to not stress just yet. I think the others have offered very good advice. I just wanted to add that informing your daughters doctor about your concerns would be a great step. I have an 11 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. My son is autistic however, my daughter is not. One of the red flags for his doctors was that he was speech delayed. However, he had other issues too, for example, he had an odd sleep pattern. He slept for 2 hours out of every 36 hours. He would not sleep anywhere except in his car seat. He did not recognize his name until he was 3. He did not laugh until he was 10 months old - I can still remember the first time I heard him laugh!

At any rate, delayed speaking can mean various things or nothing at all. A doctor's evaluation is really good advice. :) I have a friend who has a child that is selectively mute. He can talk, and does at home but refuses to talk anywhere else. I have another friend whose fourth child wasn't talking like she thought he should be and turns out he had fluid behind his ear that was causing him to hear like he was under water. They were able to determine this by taking him to an ENT and the ENT's office conducted a air pressure test - I guess that is what you call it. She said they put air pressure in his ear and was able to see how his ear drum reacted to it. Anyway, he had ear tubes, went to 3 months of speech therapy and you would never know the child had any speech delay now. :)

So, I mean, I really don't think it is anything you haven't done - trust your momma instinct! If you are concerned, ask the doctor and at least bring yourself some peace of mind. :)
I hope you will keep us posted on how things turn out.

Best Wishes
Jen