ETA: Please forgive the typos.
ETA2: Is this really S. K? This doesn't read much like her usual questions.
I have been so poor I could not pay rent and had to rely on friends to have somewher to sleep. I have nearly starved to death. I have traded my dignity so I could eat. Just eat.
I am comfortable now. Quite so. And generous too. Without judgment.
Our local homeless shelter has stated that the most generous givers are not that well off - that they're people with average incomes who have "been there." Know why? Because we understand that very, very few people chose everything that led them to that place. Anybody, absolutely anybody, can be broken if enough things -including things outside their control- go wrong. And anyone can fall on hard times.
Moreover, people tend to stay in the social class in which they were born - because contacts and financial advantages (like parents who pay for college, or a car, or a down-payment on a first home) make a difference. Not everyone comes from a middle-class family and it's not because we're lazy, shiftless, stupid, losers, or addicts.
If you have never been poor, you have no idea how difficult it is to get "out" of poverty. It isn't simply a matter of making smart, responsible choices. If it was, there would be very few poor people.
I went to college on scholarship, I had the help of friends who believed in me, I had faith. Lots of people want to use me as "bootstrap" example, but I do not like it. I didn't climb out "up" alone. And frankly, if I hadn't been of above average intelligence - a blessing (or accident, if you will) of birth - there would have been no scholarships, and probably no friends who could provide the kind of assistance I needed (though I'd have had friends who would have tried).
When one is struggling to survive and doing everything one can, yes, it's hard to hear people who are blind to the advantages and blessings they've enjoyed chalk *everything* they have up to their hard work. It's hard to hear them say "I worked hard so I should have to share -ever." Which person is over-entitled? Do they really think the person mopping up the vomit in the nursing home for minimum wage isn't working hard?
I don't think anyone should pay my rent or buy my food, but I am more than willing to help people overcome hard times. If no one was willing, where would I be? I am, in fact, currently supporting a member of my extended family who is going through a hard time. I don't want it to be forever. But who would I be if it was never? Greedy? Maybe not. Selfish? Definitely.
Incidentally, here is some scientific data that may shed light on who behaves in an entitled way. It's not who politicians say it is:
http://educationandclass.com/2012/04/27/social-class-link...
blessings to you,
e