Hi Missouri---Before you decide to start with whole milk, please read up on the dangers of cows milk for humans. I and my family are 'reformed' cows milk drinkers. We stopped after I learned why cows milk is best for baby cows through a series of classes I took, taught by a Naturopath who has her PhD in Nutrition. Please go to www.pcrm.org and put dairy in the search box. Also explore the website www.thechinastudy.com. Cows milk is highly allergenic, although the symptoms are usually obscure and not usually related to dairy...and I mean more than just lactose intolerance. It increases the risk for type 1 diabetes in children, produces lots of mucous, contributes to acne, and the list goes on.
So, if your kids eat an otherwise balanced and varied diet, water should be the beverage of choice. We use a variety of plant milks for cooking needs: soy, almond, rice, hemp, coconut or even oat milk. Soy is a perfectly healthy part of the diet, even for boys. Visit http://www.womentowomen.com/healthynutrition/soycontrover... if you have any questions.
If you think about it, the recommendation for dairy comes from the USDA, which is a gov't entity set up to promote American agriculture. It is NOT a health organization. It is a diary/meat/corn promotional group. Again, don't worry about calcium needs IF you consume a balanced diet. I can get you a list of calcium rich plant foods, ex broccoli, bok choy, kale, almonds and sesame seeds are some of the best. Being active through adolescence is a better method of insuring strong, healthy bones. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I'd be happy to supply you with resources from my studies. Good luck...be well. D.