Whining in Grocery Store for Stuff

Start giving her an allowance for doing chores and for good grades. Tell her she can buy whatever she wants with her own money. She's old enough to start understanding the concept of saving money and being responsible with what you have.

I can't help you too much on this except to say that my 16 yr old daughter STILL does this. I can't even go to the grocrey store without her wanting a capachino or something and then the attitude when I say no.

I personally wouldn't say "please try not to ask for anything while we are in the store"...I would say "we are only here for (groceries, a gift, toilet paper..whatever), do not ask for anything else." And then if she asks once, remind her of the rule, if she asks again then leave the store immedietly..
It sounds like she is doing to you, what my kids used to try and do to me.. Push you as far as they can. My daughter used to know that by constantly bugging me, or whining and throwing temper tantrums, that I would eventually give in...not anymore. You have to be firm and stand your ground, or it will only get worse.

What really stinks is that grocery stores go out of their way to make sure that this kind of thing happens, you are doomed from the moment you walk in! They put toys in the cereal aisle because they figure if you have kids, you buy cereal and your kids will want the toys when they bored halfway through the store. The expensive cereals are put at a child's eye level, coincidence? I think not. You have candy at the checkout, which we are all well aware of.

So what's a parent to do? I have a seven year old who has a big case of the "I wants" and it was driving me insane! So...I started to teach him about money and how it doesn't just magically appear in my wallet whenever I need it. I started telling him that he could get whatever he wanted IF he earned the money to buy it. He kept on saying that he wanted a snake, so we went to the pet store and priced the snake, the cage, the accessories and the weekly cost for food, he then decided that he didn't want it all that much. He has his own wallet and when it comes to using his own money, he is pretty chintzy.

I agree with the other responses about telling her before you enter the store that you will not buy her any of the "junk" toys that they sell in the grocery store.

If all of that doesn't work, then I would leave her at home when you go grocery shopping and enjoy a peaceful shopping experience.

Hi,
My 7 year old started doing the same thing:-) I started giving her a small allowance and a wallet. She has a chore chart and every Saturday she earns a few dollars. So, now when we go to the store, she can spend HER money. If her money runs out, I will not give her more and I made that very clear to her. It's amazing how picky she becomes about what she wants to buy with her own money and how long she'll actually hold on to the money to buy just the right thing. AND, the whining stopped. BUT, if she has already spent her money and I know we are going to a store I tell her specifically "you made your choices for the week and you have spent all your money so you are not going to be able to buy anything. Do not ask for anything." (i only had to say this a couple of times, she gets the picture now) Give her a consequence though....if you ask for anything or whine, I will....take away some allowance money, no tv tonight, go to your room, etc..... You know what works the best with your daughter.
Anyways, Good luck and I hope you find something that works great for you.
M.

Hi JC, you just have to stick to your guns, walk away. As long as you give in to her wants and desires, she knows exactly what it takes to get her way. Simple as that. I know its hard to say no, and stick to it. But she knows that if she whines, she wins, and that is how she has trained you. Kids learn early, how to train their parents, or parent, if we allow them. (Been through it-ha) Not to be mean, or anything, just the way it is. J. C Lactation Consultant

In an attempt to offer advice, first let me say I have had many years experience shopping with young children who have inevitably become overwhelmed with an acute desire for an item when the budget does not allow for it. It became clear that I had to set a boundary line, my children were informed that creating a public scene over the denial of a purchase was behavior that was inappropriate and such behavior would carry consequences. For instance the loss of a privledge they already enjoyed, or an item previously purchased that indeed was a favorite for the remainder of the day, and if the behavior was seriously severe times are easily extended. My not being in a position to buy every item they wish for is in no way inapropriate and should never carry the consequence of me being embarrassed by my children causing a scene over it. A few times of "No gameboy for the rest of the day" or "No DVD's for the remainder of the day(when they had just rented it), the public scenes became stopped.

Use it as an opportunity to teach her to manage money. Give he a small amount of allowance each week and let her spend it as she sees fit when you are out. Remind her that she has her own money and needs to make it last for her-you won't be buying her anything else except for birthdays and such.
C.

NO MEANS NO!! Consistency. Do we as adults get everything we want out of life? NO Our children need to learn the same. Ignore the requests while at the store or simply leave her at home.

Try implementing a chore for her to do daily so that she can earn a small inexpensive treat. She needs to earn it though. If she doesn't follow through with the chore no dice.

The word no is one syllable. It is easily understood by the age of one.

I have a 8.5 and 7 year old girls they both were always tryin to get things from the store. I also had a big problem with , they wanted their own computer. So me and my hubby made them a deal if they helped around the house like they are suppose to maybe we could give them 12 dollars every 2 weeks. 6 dollars would come back to us for their computer we bought them. And 6 dollars they could keep for whatever they wanted. My 7 year old wanted a gameboy really really bad. She saved up her 6 dollars for weeks to get a gameboy micro. I was really surprised when her and her sister went in on the game together. I don't give them the money for things they are suppose to do but for extra stuff. Oh they also have their computer paid off tooo. So maybe making a deal with her some how. She is old enough to realize what money is and how it would be great to save it. Just an idea. Also another idea ... my daughters LOVE garage sales OMG do they ever. When they would go with my mother and i We always had to remind them ..... Is it something we need or something we want cause right now we are looking for something we need. ..... I found my 8 year old this past summer sayin that phrase to herself in the store... crazy lol it sticks in their head.... believe it or not. Good Luck it is a hard battle and its hard with a disappointed child.

My daughter is 10 and she used to do the same thing, sometimes still does, but not as often.

Before we went shopping, I would tell her that we are going shopping for specific things and nothing else and that she will not be getting anything on this trip and if she started up at the store I tell her "no and when I say no, I mean no and that is it".

I think that maybe the way that you are phrasing it, "Please try not to ask for stuff", is still telling her that she has an option with the "Please try..." part. Maybe you can try phrasing your request so it isn't about her and tell her what the shopping trip is all about, groceries, clothing, household items, etc. and that you will not be buying anything extra during that trip.

We have gone though the same kind of fits and mood swings and all I can say is be strong and try not to show your frustration and be consistent and she will stop the behavior, not as soon as you would like, but it will happen. As I said, I went through it.

Also, what we do with all of our kids, even our 7 year old, is, if they have earned allowance, tell them if they have enough money from their allowance to buy the item that they "just HAVE to have" then they can spend their own money on it.

Our 7 year old, just after his 7th birthday, decided that he HAD to have a Gameboy Advance (the one that is square and folds). Because of the way we worked with our kids in the store, he decided that he was going to earn the money himself by doing chores around the house that would earn him allowance and he saved up enough (cushioned a bit with birthday gift money) to buy the Gameboy himself.

Now, we have very few problems shopping with the kids when they "just HAVE to have something".

Good luck, it will be tough, but just stay consistent and don't cave.

:)

At 7 she fully grasps the NO concept but it sounds like you don't, you say "I try and prepare her not to ask etc...." say this WE ARE NOT BUYING ANYTHING TODAY PERIOD and then stick to it, this will pass soon enough....it will make for a tough few days but then it will pass.
trust me consistency is best and drawing a hard firm line here on this subject will prepare her to accept and trust that when you say NO it means NO and when she becomes a preteen or a teen like I have also they have no trouble understanding it.
be strong and stay consistent.
E.

JC... tough love.... My boys, not my girls surprisingly, did this... i have left many a carts in the middle of the srore and taken them home, then went back... Fits are fits and when it happens,I DO NOT accept it... They have now learned that when we go we go... if its for them, they know ahead of time...if not..soooo sorry...
I watch dr. phil all the time and he says the same thing... leave a cart and remove them from the situation....i was glad to know i wasnt the only one and didnt feel "so" mean for doing it..
good luck
T.

I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old. I tell them when we are going to the store that we are not getting anything. When they ask me, I just tell them to remember what it is they want and to ask Santa for it. They forget about it before we leave the store.

Our kids also do chores around the house. Some are expected (taking care of dishes, cleaning up toys), but others they can earn money (dusting, washing windows, pulling weeds.) If they whine, I tell them they can save and use their own money. If they continue to whine, I give them a second warning saying that a privalege (sp?) will be removed. It only took a couple times. Leaving the cart there works like a charm too. I told them I would and they tested. When I actually did it, they knew I was mad and didn't say a word all the way home. They were then "grounded" for the rest of the day. Works wonders!!

GOOD LUCK!

I agree that it is time for an allowance. Then she can buy thimgs with her own money. If she doesn't have enough then she can be told to save up to get the item she wants.

Well maybe you should try tellin her before you leave the house with her and head off to the store that she is not to ask for anything or if she does and you say no thats the end of it .. i have this friend of mine who her mom would tell her when she was little that if she told her no and she through a big fit in the store that she would never be able to go to the store with her again.. and if she through a fit anyway the next few times her mom went to the store she didnt take her .. She did the same thing when she would take them to the park.. when she said it was time to go and she threw a fit that she would never take her again... now obviously she did but she would wait awhile and she said that worked for her. hopefully you find something thats works..