Where the Children Sleep

Updated on November 10, 2006
K.C. asks from Cameron, MO
14 answers

I have a question about what you think of the kids sleeping in the living room and not in there rooms? is it wrong? is it ok as long as they go to sleep at bed time? please help me with this question

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So What Happened?

we all have pretty busy days so when it is bed time we all go to bed,,there is no adult time so to speak. sometimes I stay awake late or wake up early to get my time so so far it has not hurt anyone or bothered any of us. My mother and sister are the ones that have a fit about it and I was just curious if maybe I was doing wrong and for the most part you seem to think it is ok so I will continue to let them sleep in htere room or the living room which ever the choose. (the 8 year old is to the point that he doesn't like to sleep in his room and it is easier then fighting with him all night)

Just a little note I slep in the living room with them.

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J.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think it matters as long as they are comfortable with where they sleep and so are you. They may grow out of it in time. My brother used to sleep on the couch more than he slept in his room all the way up til he moved out.

J.

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J.L.

answers from Wichita on

There have been places that I have lived where we turned the living room into the bedroom b/c it was bigger and cooler. So, I personally don't see any problems with it. I have two girls and I love them. We are going to have more kids. My husband has 4 grown boys and three grandkids. We are a blended family and it all works well for us. If you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to e-mail me at ____@____.com luck. I normally let mine lay whereever they fall asleep. Eventually at night they get up and go into their rooms. If they don't then that is ok as well.

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K.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I also let my two kids ages 2 and 3, sleep in the living room. It is our routine, we sit together cuddled up on the couch. We might watch a movie to unwind from the day or read, or just talk and they fall alseep on me and then I put one of them on the love seat. I might put them in their beds but I would have to carry them both upstairs. I really don't care where they sleep as long as it is not with me. As a stay at home mom I need the time after they go to sleep.

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B.H.

answers from Kansas City on

who cares where they sleep, it's your house, so if it doesn't bother you then what's the big deal. sometimes we all get so caught up in what's "normal". when really i think normal is relative.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

I don't think it matters either. My son, who is 5, prefers to sleep where he has very little room. I have found him sleeping on several occassions in his closet (with the door open) and under his dresser (which actually has almost 2 feet of space between the bottom of it and the floor). He hates his bed and I find him on it less that I find him in the closet when I wake him up in the morning. As long as they are comfortable with where they are and aren't playing when they should be sleeping, I think almost any room would be fine.

M.G.

answers from Dallas on

I agree w/ the other moms that have responded. I too have 5 children and it is easier for ME to keep them in their rooms at bedtime. It makes my bedtime simpler. I used to let them sleep where ever they fell but, then they started waking up in the middle of the night or they wouldn't go to sleep when I wanted them to. So for my own sanity I started making the younger kids (not my teenagers) go to bed at a scheduled time every night and in a bed. Whether it be their sister's bed or their own as long as they were in a bed.
So, is it going to screw up your kids? In my opinion, No. Might it make things difficult for YOU in the long run? Maybe.
But I do agree, there is no need to fix somethin' that ain't broke!

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K.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think it matters where they sleep as long as they are asleep. My son routinely sleeps in the family room on the weekends but he knows that during the week he has to sleep in his bed.

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S.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I guess my thoughts are that there's not much of a problem with kids occasionally being allowed to "camp out" in the living room, as long as it's not a school night. You didn't really give us enough information to know whether they are asking for something like that, or something else. You have five kids, but you didn't say whether it's all the kids, the younger kids, or just one kid who wants to sleep in the living room. Is this an "every night" problem? Do the adults or the older kids ever use the living room space after bedtime? If it's multiple kids, if others use the room even after someone has laid down there, if its every night or on school nights, you might want to consider whether the sleepers will get enough sleep if they camp out in the living room. Staying up later, talking and playing is probably unavoidable in any of those situations.

I think the reason we "put kids away" in their rooms at bedtime is to help them release their minds from the day, relax and fall asleep. It is difficult for anyone to sleep where they can still hear the sounds of others who are in the midst of activity. It seems like most kids fight bedtime. Being together in the living room may make bedtime easier and feel like more fun - but it may also make it more difficult for them to get sleep they need. I recently did some research on sleep because our ten year old fights going down with everything he's got. I learned that kids 6 and under generally need 12 hours of sleep and kids 12 and under generally need 9-10 full hours of sleep! So part of the answer to your question is, how is it affecting their total overall sleep?

Good luck with this. I really relate to your desire to give into anything that helps get them to bed, but you also have to think about whether it meets other family goals, e.g. are the kids getting enough rest, and is it disruptive to adult time because they're in your space? Maybe you can use the promise of a weekend living room "camp out" to get them to bed more easily the rest of the week. Let us know what you decide to do...

S.

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L.Z.

answers from Peoria on

there muct be a reason they dont want to sleep in their rooms did you ask any of them why. My son Micheal after he got the chicken pox would not sleep in his room and after four months of him on my bedroom floor. I found out that he was scared he would get sick again. So maybe you should ask why. to help figure out what is going on. My children once in awhile will sleep in daddy's computer room so they can be together. Maybe there is a reason behind it.

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I would be concerned about this just because establishing routine sleep patterns is vital for development...not that most people would even notice a difference. There may be a sense of instability if they can choose to just sleep wherever. Something else to think about is that you stated that you would rather let your 8 year old sleep where he wants rather than fight about it. I understand and agree that we should pick our battles, but consider whether or not they are ruling you or you are ruling them. I am sure that there has to be some sense of order with having so many children. I know that is true here and I only have 3 for now. Good luck and I hope you find a solution that works for you and your family!

On a side note, I am just curious. WHat is it like having a 5 yr age gap between your 1st set of 3 and the 4th child? We plan for more children but we don't know exactly when. Ours are the exact same age difference as your first 3.

B. :)

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

5 kids!! I have a hard enough time with 3!!

My opinion on this is that it is ok for an occasional camp out in the living room, maybe on the weekends. I just feel that my kids need to sleep in their beds for the most part, it is their space and the only part of the house that is theirs and they should be comfortable with that space. If they never sleep there then they will not be when they have to sleep there and times will arise when they need to be in their beds.

Again, I am not saying there is anything wrong with it, but this is just my opinion!!

S.

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B.S.

answers from Rockford on

I can't say my kids never slept somewhere other than their rooms, but most of the time they were in their rooms. I don't see it as a problem if it is OK with you, but I always carried mine to bed or walked them when they were older if they fell asleep in another room. I never really thought about it until now, but I guess I thought it would be more comfortable for them and I could do what I wanted and not disturb them or them me. I would not have wanted them to get use to it and then not want to sleep in their rooms. Now when they were toddlers and it was nap time, they often fell asleep on the couch, carpet, chair and I would put a pillow under their head and throw a blanket on them and let them snooze wherever the conked out! lol

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R.K.

answers from Rockford on

I am having the same problem as you. I think they can sleep wherever they want to as long as they aren't goofing off. I am SO afraid to put my boys upstairs to sleep since we sleep on the main floor. I am thinking of just letting them sleep in the family room also. It HAS to beat having them sleep in your room!!!!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Okay, I don't want to freak you out....but the only reason I won't let mine sleep in the living room unless I am is because the front door is right there. I always have worried that if anyone ever broke in they would have my kids before I would even know they were there. The other thing I worry about is knowing where they are sleeping in case of a fire. If they aren't always in the same bed then you might wake up to a fire and not be able to find them. Sorry if I worried you. I worry a lot...or atleast that is what my husband says. Have a good night. C.

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