When Should My Son Start Kindergarten???

You should let him start on Sept 30 since he will be 5. No reason at all to hold him back. Kids can learn at a faster rate than people give them credit for. He will be fine.

Redshirting should really be done only in extreme situations. It sounds like your son is ready, so I would send him right on time.

hello
my son was 4 3/4 when he began kinder and is doing quite well. Even from the get go he has always done well in school. If as you say, you think your child is ready socially and cognitively , then you could give it a try.. if it doesn't go as planned, you could always pull him out.
Although my son is younger than his classmates (he is now in 4th grade) he tends to be more mature than others, even those children who are older.Also, he has always been one of the top students academically and follows directions well. We were kinda concerned too about sending him at a younger age, but we also felt , we might regret it if we didn't at least give it a try.
Again, nothing wrong with trying it and if it doesn't pan out, send him the following year.
So far.. my son has adjusted quite well from Kinda up until now, 4th..
best of luck to you

I would say keep him back a year, and let him be one the oldest ones in his class. Otherwise, he will always be behind, and may feel that way all through school. School age kids take their "place" by birth order very seriously. I was, like you son, born at the end of September. My parents started me later, and I was greatful for it all the way through school. Especially once I was in high school. There are so many pressures, and personal choices kids have to face, giving him that extra year of experience under his belt is only going to help him in the long run.
The other thing is, if he does struggle a bit, it is really hard to have him fall back a grade down the road. I hope this helps. I don't often respond to these questions, but I happen to have an oppinion about this. Good luck with your little one! My daughters are 2 1/2 and 3 months old and it is amazing how fast the grow! Can we freeze them in time to keep them little forever?

All the best,

E.

I'm sure you will get a ton of thoughts on this, here are mine.

In the state of Kansas a child must be 5 by September 1st but the district we are in made it August 31st. Our son's birthday is August 29th so he was 4 years old for about 10 days to 2 weeks of kindergarten. He did just fine.

Yes, I understand the studies and research and how it may be an issue later on. I can tell you that for our son, he was perfectly appropriate socially, academically and athletically. As a matter of fact, when he was in 6th grade we moved the kids to a private college prep school where they tend to teach 1-2 grade levels above public schools and he did fine.
The ONLY time we ever had an issue was when all his buddies started driving before he did. Oh, and his is 20 years old.

Our daughter on the other hand, was born October 1st and HAD to wait to start. So not only is she a girl, and they tend to mature a little faster, but is one of the oldest in her class. I do notice the maturity difference with her much more than I noticed any difference with our son.

Every child is different and you have to trust your mommy instincts of what is best for your son and your family.

I don't know what kindergarten classes are offered where you live, but in Los Angeles Unified School District, 37 schools are piloting a program called "Transitional Kindergarten" specifically for children who are technically old enough for kindergarten, but on the young end of the age range. It's the regular kindergarten curriculum, spread out over two years, so the children get the extra year of practice with socialization and more time for catching on to the academics being taught, but staying with their classmates rather than being kept back.

You might want to see if something like this is offered in your area. If not, your son will most likely be just fine in kindergarten. Someone has to be the youngest in the class, and if he's ready for it, why wait?

I hope this helps!

I think that the fact that he is a boy shouldn't affect your decision to put him in kindergarten as much as his social and cognitive skills. I know quite a few august/sept boys that are very ready for kindergarten and then there are others that just aren't, same as for girls. I was always the youngest in my class (my parents had me skip kindergarten, which is a big mistake as it is the foundation, and socially I wasn't ready for the jump, which did become apparent in later years). when I got to high school I had friends in younger grades and higher grades. It didn't really affect me later in school until college when friends were getting into bars. the thing is, seeing my daughter, who is the oldest in her class, and is still very shy and timid, I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter where you are in terms of age in your class, as your personality will guide you no matter what. If he is socially and academically ready, then send him, if you think he needs another year of pre k, hold him back.

My son started kindergarten at 4 and turned 5 in the end of Oct. He is by far one of they youngest, but you could never tell. If you feel he is ready give him a shot. It is more the children who are intentionally held out for an extra year that cause the drastic age differences in the classes. You can always have him assessed to make sure he is ready.

My thoughts always is; "Hold a boy if they are on the cusp." I have a September child and held my child back also. The BEST thing ever. I think it is better for them to be the smart mature ones than the ones that are always trying to catch up. Just know that many places are actually 5 by September 1st; so you are truly "late". So this may not effect you now, but know that he will be behind many when going to college. I have at least 12 close friends that are teachers or principals and they ALL feel the same way. It is true.... I swear; I can go into a classroom in 1st grade and pick out all of the Summer birthdays. Not in size, just maturity... They just do not get it and the other kids pick up on that and these kids end up a little "Outted". Whenever I hear parents that say; "My kid did just fine"; it usually is 1 of two things.... The parents are going by the child responding "How was school today?" & the kid saying "Fine" (which is not always the case. The second thing is when the child tends to be the youngest with 3 or more older siblings AND younger siblings; many times these kids have just learned survival & keeping up with older siblings makes them mature. Those are the only cases I have found to be true. I volunteer a LOT at the schools and find this to be the case. Now I had friends tell me with my September child; "things to think about now that you would not normally. When you have the youngest kid, they are the last one to be allowed into the 18 and up places, they are the last ones to reach pubity & are the last ones to get a drivers license." All BIG deals as teenagers. So they all suggested holding them. This advice came from 7 friends who have teenagers who started "early" because the cut off back then was December 1st and they all have August, September, October kids. BTW... We start school this week and my kid will have the 2nd birthday next week in class.... My kid and the 1st birthday kid are the smartest in the class..... YEAH!!!
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Just wanted to add.... I thought of this thread as I just read the story of a mom here who got an e-mail from her daughter's teacher today. She says her daughter gets off the bus everyday happy, smiling and saying that school was wonderful, but yet today she gets an email from the teacher saying she was having a hard time adjusting... Just shows you, what "appears" to be wonderful adjustment, may not be how the day really is going....

My daughter's birthday is Sept. 28th. I am starting her this year (4 almost 5). Growing up I was the oldest in my class because the cut off for us was Sept. 1st and my bday is the 9th. Being the oldest put a lot of pressure on me. I was the first of my friends to get my license, and other things. I am going by the recommendation of her pre-school teachers who say she is ready now. I hope this helps.

If he's ready, send him. But be very aware that sooooo many people are starting their kids late these days. I have a daughter with an end of August birthday. She is by far THE youngest kid in her class. She is doing just fine, but it seems a little strange to me that several of her classmates and friends turned 10 over the summer, before she even turned 9 last weekend. I haven't seen any problems with it all yet, but she's only going into 4th grade. Who knows what'll happen in high school. I hope I find I made the right decision. It is definitely something I think about often. Luckily my second daughter was born in November, so I had no choices to make! Good luck :)

My daughter has an October birthday, and the cutoff at her school in California was December, so we started her early (4) in kindergarten. In retrospect, we would have held her back. Academically she could handle the work, but socially she just wasn't as mature as her classmates, especially since most of those with later birthdays had waited until they were 5-almost-6 to start kindergarten.

My daughter is now entering 6th grade. I've definitely seen a lot of growth over the years in terms of catching up to her classmates, but it really wasn't until 4th or 5th grade that I saw her reasonably close maturity-wise.

But, it varies from child to child, and no matter what your decision, you'll make it work!

i have three sons and have gone through the same situation. my middle guys' bday is sept 6th, i felt he wasn't ready to go when he was five (academically), so we did another year of preschool. he's going into 5th grade now and he's doing fine, it was the best choice for him. being the oldest hasn't been a problem for him. ANd he has plenty of buddies in the same boat (bdays in sept.)
my 2 cents is to go with your gut on your decision. i feel that boys mature later and waiting another year to be older hasnt hurt. i also got that same viewpoint from the school counselors too when in inquired about it.
good luck.

K.

The cut-off here is Sept 1st and I have a daughter with a Sept 2nd birthday & a son with a Sept 12th birthday. We had the option to start my daughter in Pre-K at the elementary school the year she was 4 turning 5 the day after the cut-off. We decided NOT to start her early (this would have made her because we felt that she was not emotionally/socially ready and we wanted her to enjoy school and have a love of learning.

She is now in the 1st grade and the oldest in her class (somebody has to be the oldest, right?) and so far, it’s been a good decision. Our thought was that you can always give a bored child more challenging work, but if a child is struggling, and school is not “fun” anymore, they are going to tune-out and rebel against learning. (When our son is old enough, he will be one of the oldest kids in his class too since his birthday is only 11 days after the cut-off.)

I do have a friend who has a daughter in the same situation and I went to her for advice when we were making our decision. Her daughter is now a freshman in High School & because they made the decision to start later, she is one of the oldest in her class. They feel that they made the best decision for her. They have never once though, “maybe we should have started her earlier”.

When you make your decision, consider your child’s development, maturity & social skills now as well as down the road. If you are so inclined, pray about it. You know what’s best for your child. Good-Luck ~ B.

I have three boys, and the youngest's birthday is 9/30 - the cutoff in our area. I sent him to K as a 4 year old. He was definitely ready, the year went fine. With two older brothers and their friends he's very social, my concern was for the other end - heading off to college at 17. Financially we couldnt really afford another year of day-care, so we started him. we have run into the sports dilemma already - he's too young for the 6-8 league, but that's where I put him anyway with a "play-up" waiver. Its OK at this stage, but I could see how if he physically matures slowly he could end up playing with kids much larger than he is and the potential for injury because of that. I think as long as he stays away from football, that won't be too much of an issue. Time will tell, good luck!

Send him to school-now. I was a Jan 4 birthday, decades ago-and was nearly 7 in first grade-driving in tenth grade-eek!

I know the trend is to hold children back-but I am from the school of thought whereby I feel it gives them a whole other year to be immature and unaccountable for their actions. Children tend to rise to the occassion-not fall beneath expectations. If you haven't already done so-it is a good time to start with chores, making the bed, picking up toys, cleaning out the car, etc.

i would ask his pre-school teacher if she thinks he's ready for Kindergarten.

My husband was told that my stepson was not ready for kindergarten by his preschool teacher. He is a 8/13 birthday so he would be 5 before school started but he just wasn't ready academically, socially, etc. My husband opted to put him in private kindergarten. This way he would be exposed to the kindergarten curriculm vs. another year of preschool but he wasn't in our regular public school. This prevented him from being "left behind" when the other kids moved up to 1st grade. So he did 1 year in private school and 1 year in the public school then moved on. I think it was a wise choice on my husband's part although I certainly recognize that a lot of people can not afford that route. Unfortunately, around 4th grade the kids put 2 and 2 together and realized that he is older than everyone else even if just by a couple of months. So he was teased for "failing." My stepson, at 14, is still very immature and we don't know if it's just his personality or if part of the reason is b/c his peers are a year younger. It's really hard to say what is the right answer. Does your son attend preschool? I would think the teachers would be able to give you some guidance or maybe look up the requirements for kindergarten online and consider whether or not you believe your son could achieve those goals at his age, mentality, maturity... If it makes you feel any better, we will have to make that decision too as we have a 9/9 birthday and the cut off is 9/30. Here we go again! :)

Where we are they have the same rule (be 5yr on or before Sep 30) and my son's birthday is Oct 27. So he was only 5 for 2 months in Kindergarten before he turned 6. Unless there are earlier Oct birthdays in the classroom, he's always the oldest (and so far he's always been the tallest, too) in his class. It's worked out very well for us so far and he starts middle school (6th grade here) next week.

It really depends on your son, either choice is fine. My brother's bday is 9/30 and my mom kept him home another year, mine is 9/11 and I went and was one of the younger kids in the grade, and I would have been bored by the school work if I had started a year later. Cognitively, I think we were both ready. I think it may give your son a little more self-confidence if you keep him home, and a sleight advantage in sports, but neither of these is a given. If he seems ready and wants to go, send him. If you feel he would benefit from an extra year at home keep him.

it bugs me that so many folks who advocate letting a child start later (a policy with many attractive advantages) also refer to it as 'holding him back.' there's a psychological taint to that thought process that can't be dismissed by thinking 'they're just words.'
in a broad sense, lumping all 4 or 5 year olds into single-age peer groups is a recipe for disaster, but i don't really see how else public schools can do it. in a narrow sense, every child IS an individual and no generalization can be applied to every child in every situation. i put my 4 year old in kindergarten, he loved it and did fine, but K was half-days then (and how i mourn the passing of half day kindergarten for our littles) and he's a laid-back fellow. his positive experience wouldn't necessarily translate to another 4 year old.
but i sure wish we would stop the pejorative labeling of kids going where they should go academically, socially, emotionally. yes, children tend to be cruel and harass kids who are 'held back.' where do y'all think they learn that attitude?
khairete
S.

Both my boys have summer birthdays, July and Aug, and I started both of them late with no regrets. I did alot of research and talked to alot of people but in the end it came down to what we knew about our kids and what we thought would be best. My thought was that school is so geared toward the way girls are ie. sitting quietly, drawing etc that I knew my boys would not do so great in those areas. Really I don't think it has much to do with academics at all at this age. Also, when a child is one of theyounger ones in the class teachers will give them extra time and patience in the younger grades. However once they get to about 3rd grade and things aren't going well teachers no longer care that they're the younger ones now they are the problem students, have learning disabilities etc.
Good luck

Ask yourself where you are rushing too. Why you are rushing his childhood. Can't he be challenged in a pre-K class and have the chance to mature as he is ready? As he gets older he can take honors classes which will get him on track for AP Classes etc. If he is smart and challenged he will continue to be smart. Childhood is over so quickly as it is, why not savor the moments a bit more and allow all of you a chance to really enjoy the magic of youth. He'll graduate college and need to get a job soon enough. Let him be a kid, give him that gift. Another gift is that of leadership, being the youngest in the class he will be in catch up mode throughout his education, socially and physically but being on the older end boys tend to develop leadership skills and self confidence at a younger age and that quality follows them through life. And bedsides, there are few things more traumatic than being in middle school and looking like you belong in elementary school, that pain does stick with a person.

Good luck with your choice.

We had the same issue with our son. I think it depends entirely on the child. Our son was ready academically, socially and physically but I was unsure about his level of maturity. This was partly due to a poor experience in his preschool and the "issues" they had with him.

He just started kinder last week, but so far so good. Our plan is to see how things go and hold him back for another year of kinder if we feel he needs it.

As far as the adolescent and teenage years... we have to just take that as it comes, and know that we made the best choice we could with the information we had.

We have a friend shared her experience of the same kind... her son is now a Sr in high school. She said the only thing he struggled with was that he was younger and not as athletically strong as some of his classmates. So again, different issues for different kids and you'll have to look at all of those to determine what's right for little guy.

Good luck!!!

This is such a hard question. In most school districts it's by the first day of school and he wouldn't be eligible to attend Kindergarten this year. Since his birthday is later in the month I would have your same dilemma.

I think some thoughts on this are:

When he enrolls in sports he will want to play with the kids he goes to school with. If you check with your local Soccer organization then you could find out what ages they need to be to play. If the kids in his class will be in a different group than him then I would keep him with the kids he'd play with. For example, when he is 4 at soccer enrollment he will play with the 4 year old teams, if he's 5 at enrollment then he'll play in the 5 year old teams.

If he already has friends he will go to other activities with then he should stay with them if possible.

What if your family get a transfer at work and have to move, if he's in a different school system then they won't let him in Kindergarten but put him back in Pre-K.

If he could do well now then send him, he can always be held back later, he could possibly succeed and be totally in his perfect setting.

I also think kids should be 17 then turn 18 their Senior year. It's not fair if they are already 18 when they start that year. What if they decide to move out and get a job and not go to College. What if they decide to just drop out, they are legally old enough to stay out all night, sleep with whomever they want, get married, do what ever else they want.

So, in the long run, I don't know that I would start him or not. As I said at the beginning. I can't wait to see what you decide.

Children (of both genders) should start school as early as they are able within the system that they attend. While it may feel better, and right to hold them back until they are a year older, it puts children at a measurable disadvantage at two critical times, and if either one of them applies to your son, it will be little comfort to you that he had a good kindergarten experience because he was a little older upon enrty.

The first critical time is around the end of 3rd grade begining of 4th grade, or around the time that children turn 9. The most elastic time for reading development is prior to this time, so children who have not yet matered reading at grade level are at high risk of reading failure. This risk is higher if they are a year older than their grade peers, because reading intervention is provided based on grade, not age, and often, schools do not remediated before the other children move on from learning to read and write, to writing and reading to learn, in about 4th grade. The child who is then struggling to learn reading and writing is left further behind, and school failure is more likely. It is a frequent educational disaster, and I see it more and more as an educatinal advocate. Kindergarten is easy peasy, and children with one extra year on thier side to bank on for targeted reading intervention are at a huge educational advantage that has been measured by the data.

The second critical time, even if the older child does not experience reading failure, is the last two years of high school. Children who are older at this time are more likely to drop out, use drugs, and have contact with the juvinile justice system, there is a very high corelation, just behind socioeconomic and disablity factors. It is a circumstance that you can prevent by sending your child to school on time, even if he just makes the cut by one day.

You can always hold them back later (a terrible educational strategy) but you can't ever go back and put them in on time.

M.

The cutoff in our area is much later (by November or December usually), so I think for a September birthday you are really good to go especially if he is on track socially. So I'd say go for it!

My son has an Oct 21 b-day and in his class of 23 last year, 19 kids had b-days december or before. He is by far the oldest kid in his class. In our county Sept 1 is the cutoff. He too was ready socially, I think, and definitely academically (he was reading at a 4th grade level and doing 2nd grade math in pre-k). But I was thinking down the road...I want him being the oldest since in kids 6 months makes a world of difference in almost all areas of childhood and development and academics. I want him being the one with the drivers license so that I know who is driving around. I want him to be the one whose friends ask him to take him places. I can trust him (or he isn't getting the keys) but I won't be able to know the driving skills of his friends. Kids also seem to look up to the older ones, even at 8 now, even if it is by only a few months. I would take a look at his K curriculum and see what it involves, maybe talk to the principal of the school if you can. We have all day K where we are and the year he started there were a few really young 5's with July and August b-days and they had a hard time just with the maturity and with what was expected of them. Good luck though with whatever you decide.

I had the same dilemma with my son. He could count well over 20 and was starting to add and subtract before K. He was also reading 3-4 letter words and loved learning. I spoke with the head of his pre K program and her 17 year old just happened to be there when I talked to her. He told me to be one of the absolute youngest guys in his grade sucked. He pointed out some kids were driving a year before he could and how he was a year younger/smaller than other guys in his grade. My son may be smart but he is very small for his age. We ended up waiting a year before he started school. He is a year more mature than the kids in his grade, school is easier for him and he fits in (height and weight) with his peers. If he had started school right when he turned 5 I think he would have been self conscious about his smaller size and his age. School is hard enough I think especially with boys another year of maturity is beneficial.

Take Care!

Wow! I'm amazed at the regions of the country represented in the people who have responded. I live in Northern VA too, and in reality, a lot of people here keep their child back for that extra year before starting school. We have a daughter with a Sept. birthday, and we are keeping her in preschool for an extra year (this year). She's very bright, and we aren't worried about her in K, 1st, 2nd grade, but are worried more as she gets older, 4th, 8th, 11th grade, etc. Did we want her to start college at 17? And, everyone I have spoken to (preschools, teachers, parents, students) around here, encourages waiting the extra year. One thing my husband and I decided is *not* to do the "if they need to be held back later, we'll deal with it then" because we absolutely don't want the our child to deal with the stigma, unless she really needed it, not just because all her classmates are a year to a year and a half older than her (I know plenty of May birthdays who stay back around here). Anyways, good luck! We've had to stick to our guns on this, but in reality, everyone except for the Elementary School around here agrees with us. All the best to you.