When Should I Allow My Daughter to Use a Pillow?

Updated on March 21, 2008
A.D. asks from Loris, SC
4 answers

I am wondering when you should allow a toddler to use a pillow at night. My fiancee has given our daughter a small pillow that is in the shape of a poker chip. It used to be his, but he relinquished it to her. She absolutely loves the thing and every night asks for it, saying "money" as we walk into the room. She uses it during naps (He puts her down for her nap while I am at work.) and she is just fine with it. I am afraid to leave it in her bed over night because of the horror stories about the children who have smothered because of things in their cribs. She is still in a crib. Please let me know when you decided to let your children sleep with a pillow. I am one of those mommies who cannot go to sleep without seeing (and feeling) that my daughter is breathing okay. I have done it every night from the first night she was home. My fiancee thinks I am crazy...what do you think?

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So What Happened?

I wanted to thank the few mommies that allayed my fears about letting my daughter use a pillow. As difficult as it was for me to allow her to have it at night, she now sleeps with it every night and has had no problems. She loves it and I am finally getting more comfortable allowing it to be in her crib.

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R.D.

answers from Lancaster on

Hello, A., you sound like a wonderful mother. We all fear that something awful will happen to our babies. It is normal and healthy. I do agree that video monitors help. I used my home camcorder on a trypod with a TV cable to a TV in my bedroom. That worked as long as my kids were in the crib and couldn't reach to pull it down.

Regarding the use of a pillow: Assuming it is large enough to not be a choking hazard and assuming your daughter has full range of motion, I would think the pillow is okay. After a child is able to roll over and be aware of difficulty breathing, then pillow suffication is less of a risk.

But, if it a serious fear for you, then find another time for her to have the pillow so you can maintain the sense of security. Perhaps she can hold it while you read stories or perhaps her doll/favorite animal can use it in their bed. She may be okay giving it up then.

I trust you will choose a safe and loving solution. Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son is 22 months old and has been sleeping with and on his full size pillow for about two months now. He loves to snuggle with it! He is also still in a crib.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

As long as she can turn her head from side-to-side and can lift her head up, she should be fine. Other than a special lovey, try to keep the crib uncluttered.
My son used a small pillow in his crib. You sound like me (with the check breathing thing!) and may I suggest, if you don't have O.--get a video monitor--they are great and save you lots of angst--you will be able to see at a glance that she's fine!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

At 2 she should be fine with a pillow. The risk of SIDS is mainly for babies isn't it up to the age of 1. I haven't heard of older children dying becasue they couldn't role off of the pillow. Anyway, I had a friend whose baby passed at 6 months and he didn't suffocate, his organs just shut down for no apparent reason. The dr's call all kinds of unexplained death SIDS.

Anyway I think your daughter will be fine. I gave my kids pillows at that age but my kids didn't want a pillow until about 4.

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