When Is It Time to Stop the Paci?

I think what you are doing is perfect!!! Only letting him have it in bed is the best thing you can do then you don't have to worry about him running around with it. My children both gave up their binki's at about three.

Once they hit 1 1/2 they would only the binki in bed. When we would leave the house I would always bring a binki with me but I would always hid it. That way if I needed it I had one and if they asked for one I always told them they were at home.

Hope this helps a little

My son is nine months old, so we haven't stopped yet. But my plan is to do exactly as you are. No binks unless necessary and at bed time. Then I plan to take it once he starts talking more. I can't stand to see a child that has to take out a bink to talk to me.
Maybe you could give him something else to soothe him instead of the bink. Maybe a bear or something soft until it's time to go into bed. I know it's hard to break them of these things, but with patience it will all work out.

my little girl is 20 months old and still takes her paci. she is still a baby after all and if she wants it she can have it.she generally only uses it at bed/nap time or if we're in the car. if i catch her with one while she's just playing i ask her for it and she just gives it too me. i plan on weaning her from it when she turns 2 and plan on having it gone with in a few months after that. as long as the dentist said it's not hurting his teeth, i wouldn't worry about it for a while. my nephew is 4 and still takes his paci...I do think that's too old, but he's not my kid so who am i to say.

Hi A.,
Most children have a serious need to suck on something for a long time. It's very soothing to them, and some will replace a paci with a thumb or a blanket or whatever they can get a hold of. My own husband sucked his thumb until he said he was pretty embarassed about it. I wouldn't feel guilty about it and let him have his paci as long as it's not causing problems. IF he is three years old and still sucking it and you feel it's causing problems with his teeth then you might want to gently wean him from it. BUt 13 months is a LONG way from 3 years so I wouldn't worry yet. Wish you the best with your sweet little guy.

I think it is OK to keep the binky for a while longer if he is really comforted by it. At this point, I would only give it to him in the crib though. I'd first work on self-soothing without the binky during the day when he is fussy. Our first daughter was very attached to her binky, although she only had it in her crib. Around age two, we started to wean her off it. What we finally did is cut a small hole in it and gradually made the hole bigger until there was no nipple left and she just held the plastic handle for comfort. Then, one day, she said she didn't want the handle in her crib anymore, and she was done. We never thought we'd break the habit, but they really do give it up in their own time. Good luck!

Hi A.,

My son is 26 mo. old and we just sent him for a hearing evaluation because his speach isn't as advanced as others his age. They don't think he has a problem but she said he is starting to develop an overbite. He will go all day at daycare without it but as soon as mom shows up he whines for it. He still wakes up in the middle of the night and will cry for us if he can't find it to put it back in. When he is distracted/playing hard he will take it out and not even think about it. We kept our son on it for so long because he has a terrible time teething and still hasn't pushed in his top 2 yr molars. He has never liked a teething ring. I am dreading taking it away but we only have two left and as soon as he bites through them they are going in the trash and will not be replaced (famous last words). So, if you think you can take it away now without too much trouble, go for it.

Is he still taking a bottle?? If so this is going to make it harder to stop. I'd say he's ready to slowly take it away. Try skipping it at naptime at least once to see how it goes, if he cries uncontrolably, then try to distract him with a blanket or rocking(if he likes those). You could also try to get him to through it away in the trash and now it's all gone!
Just make sure you don't give it to him unless it's bedtime, so work slowly.

Good Luck!
R. Teague
Ohio

Just incase you wanted more input =)

We let our older 2 boys keep their pacifiers until they were 3. When they went to the dentist for the first time and had their teeth clean we told them that they were big boys now and that the dentist said that it was time to get rid of them. They handed them over and had 1 rough night and then it was over. It was nice to be able to tell them that the dentist said that they didn't need it any more and then they didn't take it out on us. We are planning on doing the same thing when our 2 year old turns 3. Also, they weren't allowed to leave the house with the pacifiers after 18 months unless we were going somewhere special and we would be gone for a long time....that way it would help with the missed nap times.

You just have to decide what you want to do and what will work for you. Each family is diffent.

When our first was around 10 or 11 months we asked friends and family for advice and tried it. They adviced to put lil holes in the paci so he would loss the desire to suck on it. Two weeks of hell later, I tried to give him the paci again (going out and spending close to $10 for a specific paci he liked), he wouldnt take it.

It is a personal choice. If u are comfortable with him with it at naps and bed time then let him be, if not then change it.

Good luck!

A., my older kids used a paci till they were 4 or 5. Their teeth are straight and healthy. My 3 YO is even still on a bottle for comfort. And still, healthy, straight teeth.
Coming from a traditional Italian family we usually go the European route when it comes to ,,, well,,,, EVERYTHING,, incl. raising our kids. I wouldn't stress about it just yet. Let him have his comfort. We, as adults have our comforts, Some have a favorite blanket. Some smoke. Some have a beer at the end of the day. Some like reality shows... Point is, there's no sense in freaking out because the baby isn't doing what Dr. Spock informed you to do. Just keep the 2X per day brushing, healthy meals, clean environment and loving parenting... He'll be fine. You're doing a wonderful job as I can see here in your letter, and only want the best for him. In my work I meet SO many parents who really don't care and think that if the baby's traumatized they'll "get over it" That's why LOVE this group.. I get to connect with so many parents who care enough to not be afraid to ask questions.
God bless you.
A.

I am of the opinion that we should not take away our children's comfort just because of what we think the general public will think of us of of what we have been conditioned to believe by society. Just as we comfort ourselves with music, reading at night or indeed cuddling with our spouses, our children feel the same needs. I think we should be guided by our children. My four year old son didn't give it up until his fourth birthday and there are no adverse effects whereas my two year old son has already given it up since one night we couldn't find it. He never went back after that. And then I have a six year old daughter who still sucks her thumb at night. All my children's teeth are beautiful and they are well adjusted, happy little people.

A., all I can say is PLEASE "do not sweat the small stuff"!!! I have 3 grown children and a grandchild. There will be MANY LARGER problems than letting your child have a paci....obviouly he needs it, and it calms him down!! That is a good thing....do not worry about when he is THREE...he is NOT THREE, and he needs this security right now...let him have it...you will have a calmer more relaxed happy child!!!!!!!!!!
PS...NEVER worry about what other people are thinking when youare raising your children!

Pacies are a gift from heaven! What would life be to a baby without having something soothing to suck on? I wish it was that easy for adults!? Anyway, my 2 kids had pacifires and at around 2 yrs. we "lost" them. They, too, transitioned without the paci by only sleeping with it, and bringing it as a comfort to places such as church, etc. I think it may hinder language development, but not drastically. I noticed this with my daughter. She chose to stick her paci in her mouth instead of talking. As soon as the paci was lost, she was talking nonstop! You'll know when your little one is ready!

Our daughter was 2 1/2 when she finally was done with her "lala". We just eventually lost all of them and didn't replace them. She came up with her own explination("the lion ate it!") Don't ask me where she got that. The point is that he'll be done with it when he's ready. The only big deal we made about it was that she had to take it out to talk.

Hi, A. --

We were definitely aided in soothing our otherwise unsoothable daughter with a pacifier. I'd been dead-set against it, for some reason, but after she was about a month old, we tried it, and it really helped her relax. She, too became very attached to it.

I think you're certainly on the right road in thinking about when the paci should make its departure, and I also think a staged approach is a good one. I'd say eliminating using it when he's not in bed is a good starting point.

When our daughter was about 2, we started talking about the "pacifier fairy" who would be ready to come take her paci to another little baby who needed it as soon as she was ready to let it go. We talked about it for several months and even told her where we'd hang it for the "fairy" to claim it. After a couple of nights where she gave it up but then reclaimed it, she decided she was ready to let it go for good.

I think it was important that she understood that the paci was for babies and she was getting to be a big girl and a good sleeper who didn't need to have the paci to be able to sleep. Then, it was her decision to part with it and let us know when she was ready. Within reason, I think it was a fair approach. We wouldn't have let her have it passed her second year, so we started the gradual transition to phasing it out just after her second birthday, to give her time.

She's never really mentioned it since, except maybe once in passing. She's slept fine and has plenty of other comfort items to make her feel safe and cozy at night.

I hope this helps!

H.

My oldest daughter was addicted to her nuk. Once she turned 1 we only allowed her to have it in the crib. Sometimes she would get upset and I would have to put her in the crib so she could get her nuk and calm down. Around 2 1/2 we took it away. (She threw it out; we went to target to get a toy) She didn's sleep for a week. We gave it back and we all slept again. When she was 38 months old her cousins spent the night. Before they got there, she handed me her nuk and told me to throw it away (she was embarrassed). I did and she never asked for it again. They just have to be ready to give it up and he will.

But already he is not walking around with it. He is only using it at sleeping times. I wouldn't worry. He will not be sucking on it at his high school graduation ;) My boy was a big binky boy and he decided on his own just before 2.5 yrs old.

My pediatrician told me that the sucking urge decreases after 18 mos. So I tried to limit pacifier use to nap and bedtimes before then, and at 18 mos. I followed the advice of a girlfriend and cut the tip off of my son's pacifiers. That way they flattened when he sucked on them, so he did not get the same satisfaction. It was a little rough at first, but each week I cut a little more off until after a few weeks he could not get the stubs in his mouth. He slept with them for a few weeks more, almost like lovies, and then one day no longer asked for them in his crib. It was such an easy transition! I advise you not to wait too long, but allowing him to use them a few more months seems reasonable.

I honestly don't think you need to be too concerned about the pacifier. I always tried to use the guide of 18 months -2yrs as a time to try to take it away. One threw hers away and never wanted it again, but another needed it a bit longer. It all depends on the child. I do however believe once they pass age 2 you have to try. You can explain things to a 2 yr old, and you can use a game to say goodbye to the paci. My stepdaughter allowed her daughter to have hers until age 4 and she already shows an overbite in her teeth. Only you know your child enough to know when he may be ready, but now, he just might not be ready. He will be soon enough though, you are doing the right thing by not going by what all the "experts" say, they aren't the parent of your child. Good luck, and don't worry to much, there are plenty of other things you will need to worry about~