When Is It Ok to Leave a Three-year-old Alone in the Car for Five Minutes?

Coming from the woman who leaves her kids in the car to run in and pay for gas with the vehicle in eyesight taking less than 30 seconds...

5 minutes is not okay.

For those saying it's 'never' okay, yeah, it is, at least here it is, per Richmond City Police. Just saying.

I wouldn't. I live in a nice city but there's a lot of crime here. Not long ago I read an article in the newspaper about a guy stealing a car with a baby in the backseat while the woman was inside paying for gas (he ditched it a few blocks later and the baby was fine.) I guess she didn't lock the door? Still, I would never be able to live with the guilt if anything ever happened and that's why I don't ever do it. Even when that extra effort after a long day is enough to make me want to cry.

The law says never. But, there are time I feel it is safer for a child to be restrained in a seat than wandering around. The post office is not on my safety issue list. It is a pain, but the baby would be better off with you. If you have a Wells Fargo account, you can pull up to an ATM and buy stamps.

In another 10 years, when he/she is 13.

I'm just going to admit it. I have 3 kids, 5, 3 and 2. I take them on EVERY errand with me. There are some tiny pit stops we make where I leave them in the car: Under one minute, in full view of the car at all times, I lock it and take the keys with me, when I know the environment is completely crime free and safe, and the temperature is fine. The post office is one of these errands. I often have to drop a prepaid package etc. Our town is small, there is never a line, the car is in full view, there is no speeding traffic to hit the car in the lot which is separate from street. etc. Literally, a meteor would have to fall out of the sky onto the car in the 30 seconds it takes me to drop the package for anything to happen. I also go in to pay for a pump in our station where they have to manually run our grocery card points. Again, in full view of the car at all times, I wait until line is down to one person or less, my keys are not left in the car to jack it, etc. I also pick up dry cleaning-same scenario, car is in front of window, parking lot is removed from street, desk is 3 feet from window, keys are with me. I pick up pizza from the pizzeria, safe parking, full view of car, if order isn't ready I go back to car to wait. Etc. My kids are very obedient and have NEVER ignored the command: Do not unbuckle. They would NEVER climb into the front seat etc. If they did, I would see them, and react immediately.

There are those who say you can never ever ever leave a child in a car for one single second. Kudos to them. I think instinct can be relied upon though. Sometimes you simply can't unstrap 3 kids including one or two who are asleep to do something that takes 30 seconds on a whole day full of errands. Again, kudos to those who can.

Anything that could remotely take 3 minutes or more and would mean going into a building where I couldn't see the car. No. I wouldn't do that. And I grew up being left in the car so long on my mom's errands, I once cracked the windshield with my forehead while jumping up and down on the front seat :-0

Not okay, ever. Around here it's illegal and the police would press charges if they happened to catch it.

My husband's sister dragged her 18-month old out of her car to walk to the mail box on the sidewalk at the bank. A woman who got there at the same time she did left her three year old in the car and a man who had seen her get out grabbed her purse and keys and tried to steal the car. He managed to unlock it and would have gotten away had the mother and other witnesses not put themselves in the path of the car and then tackled the guy to the ground until the security guard could grab him until police got there.

It's not okay. Sorry, but it just isn't. And child services doesn't think it is either.

Dawn

I don't do it because of Jake Robel. (You can google his story). Awful story that happened about 7 or 8 years ago now. Long story short, mom ran into a sandwich shop to get him a snack. She did leave the car running and it was carjacked. She couldn't get Jake out of his carseat in time and he was dragged down I-70 to his death. It is just a terribly sad story that changed that poor family's lives in a fateful instant. I vaguely knew the mom. She worked at the hair salon I went to long ago. Such a nice lady and it truly was an innocent mistake that turned into tragedy. Whenever I saw her at the salon after all that happened, she was just like a walking zombie.
The only time I have ever left my kids in the car is if I forgot something in the house, then I turn off the car, shut the garage door and go grab whatever I forgot. I just can't bring myself to leave them for any amount of time.
HTH,
A.

Never. Not Ever.
My Mom tried this once when we (my sister and I) were little.
My sister decided to push/pull things and put the car in neutral which proceeded to roll in the parking lot.
Fortunately it didn't hit anything.
A lady came and put the car back in park and gave my Mom an earful a few min later when she came back.
If you can not take the kids with you everywhere you go, then hire a sitter and leave them home so you can run your errands.

Not.

Gotta take him out and haul him in with you!

On a cold wintery morning before school many years ago, my mom left my brother in the car and ran back in the house because she forgot something. She was gone for 3 minutes. Came back outside and my brother had wiggled out of the car seat, into the drivers seat, put it in reverse, backed over the curb, and crashed into the neighbors deck.

Sorry, I vote not okay.

No. Totally not worth it.

Never....period. I believe that it is even against the law to do so in Florida.

Never!.........not ok unless you are standing by the car the ENTIRE time.

20 seconds? Maybe if I could see her, but 5 minutes??? No, no, no!!

Never OK.

And to those who think it is, or that I shouldn't say "Never," fine, do it with YOUR child, but don't be upset when something happens. (Not trying to be mean but realistic, which life is.) Having had horrible things happen to both of my 2 oldest children, I DON'T take chances.

If I'm standing next to my car I would, otherwise no way Jose!

Nope. I wouldn't do it. You don't know if someone's going to break in, hit the car, the child will be scared, the temp will rise or cool, the trip will take longer, the child will get out of the seat and mess with the controls, etc. Take the kid. You would never forgive yourself if anything happened.

When? Never. No matter the circumstances.

I am with Angie H. on this one. The Jake Robel story was before I had kids...and totally changed my point of view that no, no matter the reason it is not ok.

I recently found out that my husband locks the kids in the car when he runs into the gas station...I totally flipped out. Needless to say if he still does it the kids are not ratting him out, which I'm sure they would, as they can't keep any secrets.

I know it can be a pain but NEVER EVER unless your just putting up a shopping cart and your not leaving the parking lot. I came across a baby screaming in a locked car in a parking lot once. I waited for a couple minutes to see if the parent was around and then me and this other lady called the police. It was a hot sunny day and the windows weren't cracked. We had no idea how long that baby had been out there. Luckily, I just happened to park right beside the car or else I wouldn't have heard the baby because it was a big parking lot. The lady came out and left before the police showed up but we were able to get her license plate. If there was an adult in the car with the baby and the windows were cracked or the car was running I would've let it be because I have kids myself and often times my husband or I will go run a fast errand while the other one babysit the kid. I couldn't have lived with that on my consious if I didn't call the police and that baby suffered. I can only pray and hope the cops caught up with her and that child is okay and in a safe home.

A couple years ago in the next town over a woman had two older kids (maybe 7 and 9 or so) that saved money to put in the Salvation Army bucket they have in front of stores at the holidays. Her 2 yo was asleep in his car seat and it was cold and sleeting. So she decided to pull up to the front of the store and walk her older kids over to the bucket to put in their donations. The article described the distance as a couple car lengths, or approx 30 feet, and she was not going inside. A community service officer that was patrolling the parking lot saw her leave the vehicle with a child in it and arrested her on the spot for child endangerment. It didn't matter to them that she was not going inside and was relatively near by. As she walked away she broke the law. The charges were later dropped but the head of the police dept stood by the arrest.
So you may want to consider what the law in your area is. Someone that comes upon your car with a child alone inside has no idea how long you have been gone or when you are coming back and likely would call police. I have never left my children alone in the car, despite the temptation of some situations, my kids are 9,7,4, and 1. I haven't even left the oldest one alone because if I am hauling the other 3 in he might as well come along and maybe even help me out a bit. Just yesterday I had to drop something off at the post office (prepaid postage, so literally just dropping it off), and there is a huge window that I park in front of that looks directly into the desk of the post office, but I brought in the 3 kids I had with me. The whole trip in and out was probably 60 sec. but I brought them anyway because I am their mother and that is what I think is right. If I had just been with the 9 and 7 yo I may have considered leaving them for that 60 sec, but not my 4 and 1 yo. Too young in my opinion.

Never Ever Never!! I know it's a hassel to have to get kids in and out of their carseats especially if they are asleep. But never leave a child in a car alone. Not only could someone come along and take your child but a driver could lose control of their car and smash into yours.

Five minutes is too many.

I've dropped off drycleaning (I could see the car parked right in front of the store - less than 5 minutes)

I've stopped at a friends house - in the driveway in a safe/quiet suburban area.

Our post office I couldn't see the car - so I wouldn't do that.

J.

If you can't see the car, I'm gonna say no. When Kiddo was very small (infant), and I knew he wasn't getting out of that carseat, I could park the car in front of the convenience store (old-style, big plate glass windows overlooking the curb), park the car, lock it, and go inside to pick up milk - never losing sight of him for more than 10 seconds. When he started getting himself out of the seat and/or making a fuss - then he had to come with me.

Our family comes from Scandinavian background - so... if you come home from errands, it's a nice day and the baby's sleeping in his carseat, we deem it just fine to park the car in the driveway, windows wide open and leave him sleep while we unload the car. (Again, in direct line of sight.) We also tend to leave babies asleep in carriages on the porch, or outside the back door. (And I DON'T want to hear comments about how babies get stolen in America, but not Norway... that's ridiculous.)

I would be a wreck to leave my 3 y/o, even for 5 minutes. I DO however leave my 9 y/o for 5 minutes but THAT"S IT. Even that makes me nervous. BUT I live in a city, if I lived in a small town I might feel better about it. IMO 3 is TOO young to be unsupervised ever.

5 min might be longer than you realize. As a single mom, I had to leave my baby in the car to take groceries in the house etc. But never gone for more than a minute.

If all you need is stamps, many groceries and even some drugstores sell them - one of those may be on your errand list already (for next time!)!

I have a limit. I need to be in and out within 1 minute, see the car most of the time, a distance of 40 ft and I lock the car but keep it running. I take the keyless button with me.
I have left my 1 yr old sleeping in the garage in the car in his seat with the car off and the door half up so he won't breath any residual fumes. I put the groceries away in the kitchen 10 ft away w/ the door open.

NEVER 5 MINUTES!!!

Not ok. If you were standing right beside your car and your child was inside the car, that would be ok but not going inside a building and/or if the car is out of your direct line of vision.

I have left my child in the car sleeping w/ the windows down, in the shade, parked next to my house where I can keep an eye on him/her the whole time (right next to my window). We do live in the country and we pull the car between our house and our neighbors when we did this (very rare).

On a side note, even when the temp is cool outside the inside of a closed up car can get HOT.

Only if you are within a few feet of the car and out side in a direct line of site, so if you have to go indoors, never.

Never. I totally get where you're coming from, but IF something did happen I'd never forgive myself. Neither would you. I'd rather deal with a crabby 3-year-old than lose my baby.

Never. I made mistake of leaving my baby in car seat to run in and pick up her medicine, but was quickly, and appropriately, chastised. You don't know what can happen, get detained, etc. It's not worth it!

Not okay... greater chances that nothing will happened, but how do you live with yourself if something did... not worth it to me...

It all depends on the area, the building and the kid.

I have left my kids in the car to go into the corner store before. I always locked it and they would never open for anyone but me.