What Would YOU Have Done Question - Incident with Shopper at Sam's Club

I think she was just trying to get out of paying the member ship fees, but part of the reason they can pass along savings to customers is because of those fees. To me it seems almost like stealing in a way, I would have told her no.

No, you were right. What she was intending to do was stealing. Seems people have trouble with that concept when it's not a tangible item.

The reason the cupcakes are cheaper at Sam's is because of the membership fee. I just priced out cupcakes at Walmart and Sam's for a baby shower. 24 cupcakes from Walmart was $20. 30 cupcakes from Sam's was $14. So basically, 60 cupcakes from Walmart would be $50 as opposed to $28 at Sam's. A $22 savings, which is over half of the membership fee. If she didn't want to buy a membership, she should have gone to another store.

This has never happened to me, but I would have done EXACTLY the same thing. Everyone knows you need a membership to purchase, so why did she even take the chance? She could have bought cupcakes from anywhere. And, what's the membership? $40? She was wrong!

And, if they were for her daughter's birthday and money was tight--THEN SHE SHOULD MAKE HER OWN CUPCAKES!!!!

Pay for a complete stranger's food? No, I think not. I would have said no and not have given it a second thought. I also would have thought she was loopy, I mean who really does that? I'm not even sure her savings on the cupcakes would even be worth the hassle!

If she gave me the cash first, I would have done it. All she had was cupcakes and was dressed like she came from work so she probably just needed them for a party. No big deal. I would not want to pay the membership fee just so I could get cupcakes once or twice a year when I needed them so that's what I think she was doing. =)

I would do what you had done and declined to help this woman. Your daughter did a nice job of playing advocate, but what about the fact that, in her actions, this woman was being dishonest...and then she was getting you wrapped up in it? She was asking you to join her in deceiving the clerk.

I think the possibility of counterfeit cash would be a little out of left field, but maybe she lost her membership for a reason? :/

"Please lie along with me because I can't be bothered to get a membership card." hmmph! No thanks!

Part of the reason that the prices are so inexpensive at places like Sam's and Costco is that everyone has to buy a membership. Some of us use our memberships weekly or more, and others maybe only use it once or twice; the ones who use it less allow the store to operate at a lower profit margin than it otherwise would. (Not unlike gym memberships or any other type of membership-based business.)

Therefore, people who want to shop at Sam's or Costco need to buy a membership. It's not right to expect everyone else to pay their yearly membership while this woman skates by using everyone else's card. She could have bought the cupcakes at the grocery store like anyone else without a membership at Sam's.

So pretty much what happened is she needed cupcakes for her daughter's party and scraped up enough cash for that but she doesn't get paid till Friday so she didn't have the money to renew her memberships and you were too scared to take her cash?

What the heck!

Yeah I would have put her cupcakes on my bill. Sometimes people just don't have an extra 50 bucks!

If she never had a card or membership she wouldn't have known they had the cupcakes for that price, ya know?
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I love the what if she didn't have the money excuse, err, then you return them?
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See this is why I love Costco, they will let you use your expired card for a month. I guess they grasp sometimes you just don't have the cash to renew at that moment in time.

what would I have done??

I would have had the cashier ring up two separate transactions - hers and mine and have her PAY FOR HERS.

Yes, she can renew her membership at the register - she might have only had enough money for the cupcakes...I don't know. However, I do know that I understand why you said no.

First, you'd never catch me in any store affiliated with Walmart/Sam's.

I'm with you, I would not have participated with her request.

Bottom line $$ or no $$, She's scamming and I do not participate in unethical activities.

Nope, honesty is a virtue and I try my hardest to stick to it and kudos to you for trying to instill it in your daughter as well!

A counselor once told me to always choose guilt over regret. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I bet she does that all the time! I would not have taken her anymore time to get the one day pass than do what she did.
I always try to help people who need it. But in that situation I would have done the same as you.

I wouldn't have done it either. You had no guarantee that you would be reimbursed. I can just see her pulling out her wallet after you paid only to find that she had "lost" her cash.

I would have said no also. You never know if she might have just picked them up and bee-lined for the exit without paying you back. I agree that she should have just renewed and stopped begging.

never had this happen, I would have been looking around for Don Quionnes to walk up with a camera! What would you do?! lol
No I would not have paid for her cupcakes! if she needed that many someone who was gonna eat one of them should have had a card to help her out! lol Please! Who does that?

It could have been done as a separate transaction but with your card swiped. Costco does that, I would assume Sam's Club would.
But, I would not have let her add it to my ticket. I would not be comfortable with that.

I think you added the description of her to say she doesn't look like a desperate mom on her last dime trying to pay for a party for her child. So with that, I'd not have let her either. Whole thing sounds ridiculous on her part.

What kind of person does something like that? I mean, knowingly go into a store when they don't have a valid membership card, and have to beg other shoppers to pay for the stuff? Seriously?? I could never do that! Reminds me of a minor hanging out at the gas station asking grown-ups to buy beer; "hey dude, can you buy me a six pack?" That's illegal. And what she was doing was not ethical. You did the right thing. Yeesh, the nerve of people.

I would have done exactly what you did - this is a total stranger you're dealing with and you had every right to decline her request.

I probably would have done the same thing. I'm thinking that she didn't have a membership. But still, she could have gotten a temporary one and paid the surcharge.

I would have said "no" as well. You weren't being mean at all. She can renew her card just like you said... at checkout. It's very simple. She probably never even had a card is what I'm thinking. My card is a business card, and I usually have all sales-tax free items and we keep track of our receipts. So, no, I wouldn't have wanted someone's extra cupcakes on my receipt. And I don't like it when I play by the rules and other people think they can get by with cheating their way through things.

I would have let her if not only for the reason that I would have been totally caught off guard by her request. But, I would have had the sense to tell her that she needed to give me the cash up front and then I would have promptly handed that cash to the cashier. If it was counterfeit, I would have said, well she just gave it to me, so please remove these items from the bill, and detain her, not me. I'm sure they would have even caught the transaction on camera.

I don't blame you at all for saying no.

ETA: I don't know about the not having $50.00 to renew and needing 60 cupcakes for her kids birthday. I just went online and found out that it would have cost her $28.00 to purchase those cupcakes. If she didn't have the $ to renew her membership but she knew all month that her kids birhtday is coming up...why didn't she plan better? Why didn't she make them? She's got bigger problems then needing to feed 60 cupcakes to her kids friends, then just not being able to afford the renewal.

Um, I'm with you, I'm sorry to say -- the empathetic side of me wants to side with your daughter, but I know that I'm uncomfortable even letting other customers use my grocery store card, which costs me nothing and only gives them discounts. I DO let them, but it always makes me uncomfortable. But I do think you made the right decision, and if she was on the up and up, I would think she'd understand how sketchy it sounded in the first place. I mean, could you ask someone else to pay for your things and reimburse them? I couldn't. Especially a total stranger.

I would have done the same thing you did.

ding ding ding ding red flags.
i'm with you.
khairete
S.

I think I would have to have more info than she provided. I think you handled it gracefully. Whatever you decided its your card and your decision and I am thinking that you are too old not to have been scammed before. I know I have been! Don't let someone with no experience guilt you!

I didn't read the other responses, so I don't know if I'm being redundant. I have actually witnessed a Costco manager come up to a cash register where someone was trying to use someone else's membership card to pay for something. The manager confiscated the card and told the would-be customer that he was canceling the membership privileges of the person who loaned him his card. Even the cashier thought that was harsh.

I don't think this would have happened to you since you were physically there at the store. I often take my MIL with with and put her items separate from mine, and then she pays in cash, so I guess that's not much different from your situation. But maybe that is against club membership rules?

One problem you could have run into is if she tried to return the products she purchases (yes, people return food) and she put up some kind of stink. It would be on your membership card. I don't think you need to feel guilty. If she wanted the cupcakes that bad, she could pay for her own membership.

I, also, would've told her no. I wouldn't have thought of the counterfeit possibility. I, too, think she should've paid her membership fee.

Good call!

Yeah, I would have refused, also...... why should SHE get the benefits of membership if she isn't willing to pay for it? Sounds like she had the money to do that......

I think you did the right thing. What if you had gotten through the line and she didn't have the money?

You can't judge by someone's looks and clothing. She could be out of work and stuck buying cupcakes for some function didn't have enough cash to renew her membership. Still, she had plenty of time to chat and work on the customers, so I'm guessing she figured her charm would carry her a lot farther than it did. You can show sympathy but you don't have to get involved. She could have bought cupcakes at a supermarket too, though maybe she was trying to get the best price.

Most people with counterfeit money don't involve another person, but then again, with all the scanners at registers to detect phony bills, this might be a way to pass bad bills. What do I know?

Tell your daughter that people go to all lengths in a difficult economy, and even though things are coming back, it's going to take a while for some people to catch up. She may have been legit, but I think it's wise to teach your daughter to be a little more guarded until she is an adult and can really evaluate all the possible factors involved.

ETA - for the person who said, "If she doesn't have the money, err, you just return them..." - yes, unless she is standing at the checkout and walks out with the cupcakes while you are fumbling with the cash. I really didn't mean to sound dumb - it's just that she was pretty good at finessing the situation.

Did this get edited? Someone else mentioned a party, but I don't read that in your question.

Seems rather odd that she was there with no card and asking people to spot her their membership and money. Or did she show an expired card? I'm in the "this doesn't add up" line with you and I wouldn't be quick to pay for her stuff on my bill. That's the part that really weirds me out. Who gets a bunch of cupcakes from a membership store and then asks someone else to pay for it? IF (and big if) I did put it on my club card, I would have done the "you need to give me money first" thing and handed that to the cashier, not the pay me back route. I wouldn't worry about counterfeit, but rather coming up short changed after I paid for them.

I do nice things for people. I've given people change, let them stand ahead of me with just 2 items, etc. But once someone asks me to pay FOR them, then no. I get stingy.

I doubt she she had counterfeit money. She'd be buying a lot more than cupcakes. I'll bet she is maxed out on her credit cards and is only paying cash for things right now, and doesn't have enough cash to get her to the next paycheck. The cupcakes are probably for work, she will get reimbursed, but not for the membership. OR she only has enough cash to cover the cupcakes, but not to pay for the membership.

What she didn't know, I'll bet, is that she could ask for a pass from the Costco people to buy from them so that she can "check out" the store. They'll do that for new people.

I don't know what I'd do. I guess it doesn't bother me to help her out, but I would have asked her why she doesn't just ask the help desk for the pass.

Dawn

I would definately have been thinking "show me the money". Did she plan to pay you in cash? Seems rude I guess, but I'm not ringing anything up for anybody without seeing my reimbursement first.

I wouldn't have done it.

M

I would have said NO! If I'm paying for a membership, then she should too! Sounds to me like she may not have even had a membership. If she had time to stand in line and ask everyone to help her, then she had time to walk up to the customer service desk and renew her membership. I might have even gone so far as to report her to customer service!!

As for discussing it with my daughter - I would have told her I was not going to be dishonest and help her.

Good question!!!

i have had a similar situation at a grocery store with their discount cards - but those are free. i think you did the right thing. who knows, maybe she ALWAYS does this. you don't know.

I dont think I would do it, but sometimes Im such a sucker!

Im pretty serious about my Costco card. Some of my very close friends have asked to borrow it and Im like "Nope, but I will go with you or pick something up for you while Im there."

I would have let her stand with me and bought her cupcakes. What harm is there in that?
You say that you didn't even think about the counterfeit money until later, so really your issue was..."I spend $40 a year to get this membership, she should too!"
Who knows what her deal was....how could you possibly know if she had the membership before or not? What makes you believe that she didn't? I know that I am a Costco member and there have been times where we have budgeted down to the last dollar to come up to the register and be told that our renewal is up...$50 extra please! UGH! Maybe she was in charge of party cupcakes, barely had enough to buy them, and then found out she needed to pay a renewal and didn't have the money to do that!
I don't see the problem with adding her to your cart. I have done it a few times and have actually had someone do it for me once when I almost burst into tears when they told me I needed to renew my membership. A very very nice woman just stepped up and said, oh, no worries, just put her on my card. The checker didn't even blink..."okay ma'm, no problem!"
L.
And....just to add....of COURSE it's cheaper to make your own cupcakes! BUT, as most of you know, most public schools do NOT let you bring homemade stuff to school anymore. It's cheaper and you get WAY more if you go to Costco or Sam's club.

I would have paid for them and taken a few cupcakes....lol not really.

That's never happened to me but I hope I handle it the same way you did and it sounds like you explained it well enough as you could to a teenager. Its not like you cussed the lady out or anything.

I would have helped her. It would not have cost me anything. I could do hers as a separate transaction.

Heck, people have scanned their reward cards for me at the grocery when I forgot mine - and since I only buy things that are on sale it helped me a lot. I have scanned my reward card for strangers at the grocery also.

In the grand scheme of things I doubt she was planning anything nefarious with 60 cupcakes.

Eh, but everyone must do what they are comfy with.

Cup cakes? Not like she was wanting to by ammo! I would have asked for the $$ up front and called it a good deed for the day. Who knows where those cup cakes ended up?

Personally I would have told the lady no...I paid for my membership and she needs to do the same.She knew what she was doing going in there.If it was expired she could have just paid to renewal and,problem solve...mine just expired and I didn't realize it tell the cashier told me and she ask if I wanted to renew it so I told her just add it to the stuff I had...
I think you did the right thing.

I personally have never been in this situation, but I'm a sucker so I probably would give the cashier my card for her transaction. She would pay the cashier for her transaction not me! I then would do a separate transaction for the items I was paying for. I have done this before with my MIL because she wanted a few items from Sam's but not enough to get a membership.

It would depend on whether or not my spidey senses were tingling. I wouldn't say "never" but I wouldn't say "sure, I'd have done it." I've had people help me out in a tight spot in stores before and greatly appreciated it. I'd like to think that I could tell if someone had a genuine need for help. My first thought certainly wouldn't be to assume she was trying to switch out counterfeit money, though. That gave me a good little chuckle.

Hmm...I would say in this case NO I would not have helped her only because my child is there and what kind of message are you promoting by helping someone skirt the rules.

While I might have felt bad for her the example I'm setting for my children must come first. How could I enforce following the rules to my children if they witness me helping someone break the rules?

I would offer to speak with the cashier on her behalf or to inquire at the customer service desk for a "pass" for her. I would have tried to be as helpful as I could without breaking the rules ;)

I do go out of my way to help people all the time so my girls see what it means to be helpful and kind. We often offer unused coupons to other shoppers when we notice they are buying the item.

I have also offered my grocery store discount card to be used at the checkout by a shopper who left her keys in the car with her children and husband. I have done this many times if I just ran in for something quickly. However, our local grocery store checkers share discount cards that they pass back and forth between registers to use if the shopper forgets their card. By offering them use of my card I saved the cashier from running from register to register searching for the card.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

Nothing like that has ever happened to me prior but I would have said no as well. I also don't think that is fair that I've paid for the benefits and she doesn't. Also I'm sure those cupcakes couldn't have been that cheap and regardless of whether or not she would have paid me back the expense adds up. I would have found it strange that she didn't offer the money to pay for the cupcakes up front when she asked about it. Like you I would have been skeptical as to whether or not the money existed. More likely I would have thought we would have checked out and she would all of a sudden "not have her wallet" or "not have enough money on her" Talk about a little suspicious.

I have often helped people out in line when they have all but a few dollars of what they need but I don't have the resources to foot other people's entire bill.

**As a side note the Sam's Club near my house does check to make sure everyone has a card when they walk in but if it is expired they don't check that. All you do is flash a card for them to see.**

I tend to think most people are basically honest. The scenario of her needing the cupcakes (obviously and party or kid event) and then not having the money to renew her membership seems far more likely then her trying to do something wrong.

I guess when you say "I paid for my membership why shouldn't she pay for hers" it sums it up. In a perfect world she should pay for hers but I suspect most people would have no problem bringing a friend or relative without a membership with them to shop.

I would have enjoyed the feeling of helping those cupcakes to find the party they were supposed to be at more than I would have been concerned about why this woman didn't have a membership.

Well I don't think you were being mean, just cautious and it did catch you off guard so I certainly don't think you did anything wrong. But, yeah, I probably would have done it, as long as she gave me the money up front. It is a little weird the way she went about it and I agree that the money likely wasn't fake if she was just buying two boxes of cupcakes. But, I hear you, sometimes things just rub you the wrong way and who knows if this was a fluke or something she does often.

It's not like she was buying "food for survival"... she was buying cupcakes...

I wouldn't take the risk...this really did sound like someone who might be trying to get something for nothing.

I would teach your dd not to give people money unless she knows them very well or unless it's for charity (and that needs to be researched too,,,many scams out there).
This sounded very suspect and your dd needs to learn about that too...

I probably would have been so dumbfounded at the request that squeaking out "uh...yeah...I guess I could do that..." would have been all that I could come up with. It would have made me a bit uncomfortable, but I probably would have done it.

Sure I would have helped her. Why not?

Hi, 2

It is your decision to say "yes" or "no" no matter what anyone
else says or does.
If someone wanted to do it, then that is okay too.
Don't worry.
It was right for you to say "no."
It takes more courage to say "no" than yes.
Good job.
D.

I think that she probably stopped by to get the cupcakes for an activity and didn't have time to drive across to another place to get them. It could be that she only had enough money to pay for the cupcakes and not a renewal at that moment.

I would most likely have let her do it. Only for cash to the amount only, I would have told her I did not have any change. If it had been counterfeit money then I would have been out a few dollars.

I think we've all been in a position at least once where we made a mistake and ended up needing a favor from a stranger.

If they item had been something more expensive like a tool or something then I would have said she could add her items but pay the cashier with her own money....like 2 separate sales.

I probably would have said no as well given the story. I have on the other hand, let someone use my Sam's membership for gas (when gas was right at $4.00/gallon). I made sure that I pushed the no, don't pay with this card and let him use the gift card he had in his hand. I have no idea how much was on the gift card, but not my business.

If I had let her use my card, I would have made her pay the cashier separately and had it rung up separately. Since the door people check the receipts, I wouldn't want to have to walk out with her and the potential of stalker/etc. I would also generally have my two small kids with me, so I would allow the lady to ring it up separately and pay the cashier directly.

Don't feel guilty. Something told you not to and you didn't. It could be that you and your daughter are still alive or local because you didn't help her.

yup i wouldve dpne it in a heartbeat. ive been there when you dont have the money to pay the extra 50 to renew and dont have the money to purchase them somewhere else....yes she couldve made them in advance but maybe she is a single mom with tons on her plate, maybe she forgot...maybe...maybe...maybe...
in the end I wouldnt care enough to say no

I agree w/the posters who say this is akin to stealing, but I actually think I would have helped for this reason:

I NEVER shop at Wal-Mart/Sams, but last year when we were having a party for my son, our in-laws found us several things there that we really needed. They were gracious enough to offer that we use their card because it's not worth us buying a whole membership when we wouldn't use it for 90% of the rest of the year. I'm w/Mz. Kitty - I think this was probably what she was doing, albeit in poor taste.

I'm usually a pretty black and white person when it comes to ethical issues, but I'm finding myself mucking around in grey on this one...

Never had this happen to me before...

But I would have said yes. She obviously needed the cupcakes for some sort of celebration...now had she been holding something else, I might not have been as inclined to help? Not sure but I think the cupcakes would have been the reason I said yes.

I asked my husband and he said No, he wouldn't have helped her.

~Interesting post! Very, very interesting to see how many people would not help...

I think how you responded was perfectly fine... Hard to say what I would have done but I may have said to the cashier she was with me and let her use my card but had her pay for it on her own separately.

I'd like to think that I would have helped her. Can't say for sure because it didn't happen to me and I'm menopausal so it would have just depended on my mood at the moment. LOL!

She couldn't have just gone to the grocery for those cupcakes?

She sounds shady. I probably would've said "no", also.

If she was too broke to buy the membership, then she should've been making the cupcakes from a box & can, not buying them already made.

Cupcakes? I would have had them rung up and added to my bill. A lady buying cupcakes obviously isn't done sort of a hard core criminal scammer.
And the whole "I paid for my membership, let her pay for hers" wouldn't have entered my mind at all!

Bur your membership, your decision I guess, right?

Eh. I would have done it, probably. I have never had it done to me and am kind of shocked that she was asking people that, but it wouldn't have hurt me, really. We have a BJ's near us and have a membership. We use it much less often then we used to. When the kids were in diapers, we were there all the time. I need to start going back. Still though, your choice and don't feel bad about it.

I only skimmed some of the responses and aske my hubs.

We would both have done it, and even taken the chance of being ripped off. He admitted that her appearance made him think he had a better chance to get "paid" but he would have done it regardless. He is more a bleeding heart than me.

I would have probably done it, just because I have a hard time saying no to people. I'm honest. :)

I do think she could have asked for the one day pass, and find it lame that she did that. She knew she could get that number of cupcakes for a cheaper price there, but didn't want to pay the price for a membership. Lame and manipulative.

hmmm, I don't have a Cost-co/ sams club membership for the simple reason that paying for the membership wouldnt' off set the savings of the cupcakes i would buy once or twice a year.

Not a bad scam if you are a shady person. I'm too ethical though and this feels way to manipulated for me. so i would have wanted to say no too.

It might have made a difference if she had explained that her boss or someone told her to pick up the cupcakes here but she didn't ever have a membership. then i might have felt bad.

Ido hate paying FULL price when the store is set up to more or less scam you. Like never shop at Kohls unless you have a 30% off coupon because other wise you pay way more than you need to. So If somehow the cupcakes HAD to be from Costco/Sam's i might have attempted this but in a slightly different manner .

just wondering if the person in from of me at teh grocery store doesn't have their loyalty card, Is it wrong to offer them mine, they might save a few cents and i woudl get a few bonus gas perks or something?????

I would have helped her out. In that situation, it's legal, not costing my anything extra, and it's just nice. I'd love to live in a society where people help each other out. Do as to others as you'd have them do to you. Who knows what her situation was... Maybe she needed the cupcakes for a birthday party and didn't have the spare time to renew her membership.

I have no clue what I would have done. I think I might have helped, but then again I may not have. I guess I would need to be there to make that choice lol

Personally, I'd be afraid that she'd just walk away without paying me. So if I did do it, I'd want cash, and in bills of 20's or smaller.

This is not "helping" someone by changing their car tire or lifting something heavy for them. It's not "helping" by giving someone directions or some spare change for bus fare. Those are all admirable things. What she was asking you to do was "help" her by being dishonest. That woman had no intention of renewing her membership (if she ever had one) so what she was really asking was for you to cheat Sam's Club for her. On some basic level, you knew this and that's probably why you refused her. Being dishonest made you uncomfortable and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! It's a good thing!! Your daughter needs to learn that helping one person by cheating another is nothing to admire. Personal integrity is!