What Would You do...this Takes the Cake?

Updated on October 11, 2011
C.C. asks from Conroe, TX
18 answers

7 year old nephew playing outside with boy next door. Mom looks out kitchen window and sees her son digging at his backside. She knows he waits til the last minute to come in and use the bathroom. She yelled out the window....come in and use the bathroom.. He yells back...."it's too late"..so he pulls down his pants and let the poop fall out on the neighbors lawn....my niece went a running. When will he ever be potty trained...and he still doesn't wipe at all and very unpleasant smell. Still pees and poops his pants...his mom says it's because he waits til the last minute to head for the bathroom...but I think it's gotta be something else.

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K.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Definetly take him to the doctor.
SOrry to say this, but He could have a physical or mental illness.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Boston on

Not normal or acceptable and a tad bit disgusting! His mother needs to be addressing this issue and like other mama's have suggested maybe some disability/psychiatric issues going on???

1 mom found this helpful

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

C.:

My first question is he mentally retarded? I know that's not PC - but really? Is he disabled in some way?

He obviously has not experienced the consequences for his actions and doesn't have any concerns about exposing himself or embarrassing himself. And it sounds like the mom doesn't care either - seriously - at 7 he SHOULD be in the 2nd grade.

What would I do?
I would talk to my pediatrician and find out what is wrong with my son.
I would take my son to the bathroom every hour or two hours until he "got it"
I would make my son clean up any mess he made because he 'waited too long'

Was it your niece or nephew? you say nephew first then say niece went running...

If this is your sister's son - he needs to be seen my a pediatrician as well as gastrointestinal doctor to find out if his colon is messed up - he can't feel it? My son used to hold his bowel movements because he had one that really hurt him - our pediatrician told him that if he continues to hold it - that he will expand his colon to the point where he can't feel that he needs to go and they will have to give him a bag to poop in and carry for the rest of his life...we worked with him to eat more fiber, drink more water and poop at the same time daily - it has worked.

Bottom line - if the kid doesn't have a physical or mental problem? He's doing it because he can.

16 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Bismarck on

It is very possible that he is waiting for the last minute; the kids just don't want to leave their playtime and don't have the ability to hold onto their bowel or bladder just yet. I've seen it many times. Mom is going to have to make sure he comes back inside on a regular schedule and does his thing before it gets to that point. He obviously isn't wiping himself very good, so maybe you could suggest Mom gives him a helping hand. Baby wipes would be effective in this case by getting him cleaner. Persistence and consistency goes a long way toward successful potty training. Be patient with the nephew, Auntie. *smiles*

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Not normal. And, uh... on the neighbors yard? That's disgusting.

3 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

Well, does he have some sort of developmental problem? Because yes, that's obviously not normal. It isn't "waiting too long." I think you're right.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

It sounds like it's something else on top of the waiting for the last minute. Also, he has no discretion or sense of embarrassment or privacy, just taking a dump on the neighbor's lawn? Did the mom or boy go back out and clean it up. Something very disturbing about that.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Oh wow...this young man needs to learn about consequences...unless of course he has emotional or physical issues that could be leading to this!! He needs to be made to stop whatever he is doing and come in to visit the bathroom on a regular schedule..until he learns. This is not something that can be ignored....he has to be in school already...he is going to be totally embarrassed when he has an accident at school!! Good luck

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If my 7 yr old "waited too long" we'd go back to square one with the potty timer and/or being seeing the pediatrician. Occasional...okay. But frequent? No. And definitely not pooping in the neighbor's yard.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

At 7, there has to be something physically or mentally wrong with him. I agree with the other mom's. My daughter is 7. She has not had a poop issue in many years. This really needs to be addressed. If i was that person's yard, i would be pretty upset. Also, his hands are probably full of bacteria... to be honest... yuck!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Omaha on

At 7 years old, it shouldn't be an issue of "waiting too long." It sounds more like an issue of the mom not taking this seriously and enforcing the use of the toilet or his cleanliness. Perhaps a counselor can intervene, but in the end, it's up to what is enforced at home without the counselor present. Perhaps, as other moms suggested, there is another mental issue here. But, certainly teachers at school would have caught on to an issue as well. If not for the boy's own healthy/hygene, for the courtesy of others (especialy the poor neighbors), and if you're comfortable doing so, I'd talk to the mom and find out what might be going on - or at least suggest getting help or enforcing some rules to get him past this. Good luck to everyone!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Ditto what Cheryl O said!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Houston on

I truly believe this is a boy thing....my son somewhat went through the same stage at that age and it drove me crazy as I am very clean and type A. Although not in the neighbor's yard or anything like that. I have a friend here at work and one of her twins does the same thing now. Years have passed and my son is now 14 and of course has outgrown that stage, There was not anything physically or emotionally wrong with him as I did speak to our pediatrician about this. During this phase my son was going through , I do recall an adult male friend of mine telling me that it was just a boy thing, that they were just tooo darn busy playing and/or whatever to stop and go to the bathroom, that he remembered doing the exact same thing when he was a child. He even went so far as to say that he would plan for this by wearing up to 3 and 4 pairs of shorts and/or underwear each day. This only slightly eased my mind. It did make me laugh though. While this is really gross to us mothers, the boys just don't seem to give it a second thought...this too will pass!

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C.C.

answers from Austin on

Your neice is right he is waiting too long, the question is what is distracting him that he is ingnoring body functions? In my experience, it was ADHD and the doctor said this is typical of children with ADHD to become so engrossed or distracted that they ignore their body. Sounds like he's in a hurry in the bathroom, also another sign. We had to become more diligent in reminding him of body functions, sounds like your niece needs to become more of a nag about it, and less of thinking it's funny. We had to remind him more whenever we saw him engrossed in something. Also, my husband started staying in the bathroom with him to make sure he didn't rush through. He got tired of dad in the bathroom and started cleaning himself better. It really didn't take that long of reminding him all the time for him to catch on. About 2 months.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

that is discusting. this is what I would do right or wrong. I would not let my kids play together anymore. I would tell my son that if his mother does not care enough to potty train the boy ...even if it is all about disrespecting his mother not so much potty training....she wont care enough to teach him right from wrong in other areas. then once i cooled down i would go ask that mom if there was anything she needed help with? is she overwhelmed? single mom? what is her deal? this irritates me.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

I don't think anyone has brought up the fact that the mother (your sister?? SIL?) didn't seem too upset that her son would do such a thing, which says to me that it has happened more than a few times before and/or mom just doesn't care?? Kids learn more by example than by what they're told, so if he sees that his mom is non-chalant about him doing such a disgusting, embarrassing thing, then he will think it's totally ok! I don't mean to be disrespectful to your family member, but I think she is the one who needs to be seeking parenting classes or a counselor or something, not her son.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I am normally pretty tolerant, but for this unless he was cognitively handicapped I would come out of the house with a belt and blister his behind. Then I would make him get paper towels and pick it up and dispose of it. Then he would not play again for weeks, until he showed me that he indeed does know how to stop what he is doing and use the restroom properly. The same would go for if I caught him not wiping properly. This is a lack of parenting and boundaries.

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