What Would You Do If... - Montclair,NJ

Remind myself over and over and over that this is exactly how my son feels when HE'S disappointed about something I'm not ... And then do the same things I tell him to.

I would CRY. I would be SO disappointed.

But I would get over it quickly, knowing it's an honest mistake.

Honestly? I would be relieved that someone else made the mistake this time instead of me. I'd be very glad that I got a nice romantic dinner with my husband and try to make him feel better. Knowing my husband like I do, I think he would feel worse than I would.

Since he put so much effort into such a grand gesture...I'd be sad...but I wouldn't be hard on him. He obviously cares and really wanted to treat you. It's not like he whipped together plans the last second, and showed no care. I"m sure his ego is pretty bruised right now.

This is something to laugh about in the future...once the sting goes away!!

Honestly I would have stood there and just LMBO!

What else can you do but find the humor in it? I mean honestly what are the odd's, and let's face it I would assume I'd seen the tickets, checked the date and looked at a calendar at some point myself. I couldn't put the whole blame on him.

I'd feel incrediblily bad for him for having put all of that effort in and probably feeling bummed that he made M. miss my concert.
I probably wouldve been a little bummed and then decided what to do with our free time thats nearby? local bar, music venue with a diferent show?

K., how long have you been married?

I ask because I've been married a looong time and I wondered if maybe you have not been married that long, so this was a big romantic evening out that you let him handle entirely.

For us, if there's something we are both looking forward to, we both take responsibility for keeping up with the date (unless it's a surprise and in your case it wasn't). Did your husband mix up the dates or did both of you? Was it on a calendar, electronic or otherwise, for both of you to see?

I'm really sorry this happened and yes, I'd be mad first but then-- well, you ask, "What do you do, what do you say." You do nothing but hug him and you say, "Well, that rots for both of us." Because he likely feels horrid and is beating himself up much worse than you ever could, if he has any feelings at all. Show him forgiveness and compassion and have a sense of humor.

Now, go get online to the singer's web site, find the tour dates, and see if there is another tour date any time or place that could work for you later in this tour.

But do not bring this up at later times when you're mad at him: It would be utterly unfair to say things like, "Well! I remember when you totally blew that concert and it really p***ed me off!" in the middle of an argument about something totally different.

I would give him a big hug & kiss and tell him how much I appreciated him for trying.

Ah-hahaha! I would feel bad for my poor husband! Geez, such a stellar effort to please you.

Then I would joke about it, but not too much so as not to hurt his ego anymore. He must feel awful.

:)

oooohhhh man!!! i would be disappointed...

But I would be happy to have a husband who thought enough about me to TRY and make it happen.

Did he tell you about it in advance? or was it a total surprise? if it was known...I would be upset with myself for not keeping better track of dates my favorite singer was in town...

I would enough the lavish dinner and be thankful that we could do it....and make the most of it...maybe even play a few of my favorite artist's CDs and sing to them like there's no tomorrow....

I honestly would have no idea...and am sure I would never have to find out......my husband would NEVER do anything so nice in the first place.

Response: Disappointment, naturally. I'm sure he is too.

What to do: Forgive, empathize, and FORGET IT. I'm sure he's aboslutely beating himself up over it. Help him to forgive HIMSELF.

What to say: "It does suck to have missed that concert, and I am disappointed that we didn't get to see it, but I don't blame you. Anyone could have gotten a date mixed up. It happens. I'm simply glad that we were able to get out and enjoy one another, and have some great food. We'll see the singers next time around."

How to feel: It's okay to feel disappointed. That's how I'd feel. But be sure your disappointment is properly focused. Don't disrespect your husband for an honest mistake.

I would be mad at myself for not checking the date myself, because that's how it's handled in our house. We always confirm the dates together and mark the calendars, so I would beat myself up about it and give my husband lots of points on his efforts. I would laugh until it turned into a crazy cackle. I'd probably even cry a little. Then, we would make the most of the evening and drink lots of wine. Lots of wine. I'd go through all of this, but all along, I'd believe that it's all good. Enough stuff has fallen into place in my life--that I've actually noticed--that I usually assume that I am always exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I might monitor the artist's schedule (or my husband would) and look into going on the road. My personality is such that I would likely chalk it up to a lesson learned or some kind of misfortune averted. I try hard not to put too much energy into things that I cannot change.

Did this happen to you? If so, how are you handling it?

Disappointed, obviously.
Would I be mad at my husband? Nah... I always double check the dates on things like that for that very reason.
Sorry you missed it. :(

Aww! That stinks! I would chalk it up to human mistake and cut him a break. We all make big, expensive ones at some point in our lives. Yes, you can be frustrated, but don't take it out on him.

I give him total props for taking the initiative in the first place and being proactive in planning something he knew you would both enjoy. He's probably feeling pretty low now. Plan something nice to do with and for him instead, and it doesn't have to be expensive - just a nice gesture to make him feel a little better.

I would be disappointed for sure but would realize that it's the thought that counts and would kick myself for not bothering to know when the date was. If it were my favorite band/singer I would probably have known and have looked at the tickets. If I didn't do that, I would consider it a lesson learned, thank my husband and be grateful for having had a nice evening out anyway.

Sooooooo close.
Great effort!

We have a rule here about anything requiring tickets.
They stay ON the fridge (visible) prior to the event and we both physically touch them before we leave the house, and O. puts them in a wallet.

Not sure if that would have helped in this case, but maybe a better chance that the tickets (or print out or whatever you had) would have been looked at/glanced at/date noticed before the snafu.

Really--what can you do at this point? O. day it might be humorous--probably not for a few weeks, at least!

You cry, you yell, maybe throw something then you laugh about it and move on. Oh and next time YOU book the tickets & fill out the calendar.

Wouldn't happen to me b/c if they were MY favorite band *I* would know when they were coming to town!

~I am sure it SUCKS though! I would be heartbroken for a bit :(

What was the band?

I'd FEEL disappointed, frustrated, and sad.

But I'd KNOW it was an honest mistake and one that deserved forgiveness.

I'd probably be a bit bitchy/grumpy, but I'd try not to take it out on my husband too hardcore. Everybody makes mistakes.

I'd be disappointed, but being all dressed up with nowhere to go, I'd insist on going out anyway since we already have a babysitter. No way I'd be wasting the night away.

What's done is done. Bummer... but it wouldn't have to stay that way.

Well of course I would feel AWFUL and I'm sure I'd be more than a little bit pissed but what is there to say or do? It was a mistake, right?
Next time take a look at the tickets yourself so YOU know the date!

Oh bummer but... quick, check into a hotel for some substitute romantic activities while the babysitter is still home with the kids.

I'd be internally PISSED, but I'd be so proud of my hubby for trying.

Sorry you missed it.

Oooh, that's really too bad. I can't imagine anything you say or do would make your poor husband feel any worse.

But it'll make a great "Well, let me tell you what YOUR grandfather did once..." story someday! At the very least, you had 4 months of lovely anticipation and a nice dinner out of it (weren't you just a *little* bit more in love with your husband in the days leading up to the big night?)

And next time, double check the date yourself...just in case.

I would be so upset, but I would chalk it up to an honest mistake. Frankly, in the months before the concert, *I* could have checked the dates, too.

I bought TSO tickets a few years back for the family. We were thrilled to take SD for her first TSO concert. I happened to look back at the tickets later and realized they were for a venue in WISCONSIN - no way was that going to work. I was devastated that I had gotten the wrong tickets. They later opened up more floor seats and I paid premium to make the concert work but it was an expensive mistake. Or another time DH had tickets with backstage passes - and SS got a flu that put him in Urgent Care needing fluids for several days. They couldn't go.

I would try to remember that he tried and that you did get out, even if the night didn't go as planned.

This reminded me to double check the date of our concert in April!

I would be upset and disappointed, but I would force myself to laugh it off. Hubby would get teased about it for a couple days, and randomly throughout our future.

I'd laugh.
And go out anyway.

Devastated. Broken hearted. Kicking myself for screwing up the date myself and leaving it to someone else.

Well I myself would have seen the tickets. Make a point from now on of seeing them and putting them on the calendar. But in the mean time enjoy the fact that you had a night out with hubby. Those get rarer and rarer as the kids get older and their lives over take yours.

I would feel sad that I missed the concert. But my husband is only human, and if the tables were turned, I would hate for him to be angry with me if I did such a boneheaded thing. I would be happy about having a fancy dinner out with my husband and I would make fun of him for many months whenever we had plans ("Oh, Christmas Eve at your paren'ts house? Sure, is that on December 23rd or 24th? Are you POSITIVE?) But that's the kind of relationship we have.

I hope you could salvage the evening.

I have found that sometimes it helps if both my husband AND I keep calendars. Looking directly at the information rather than relying on what each other says keeps us out of as much trouble as we can get in.

Hope this doesn't happen to you again.

Dawn

I'd be upset, but consider yourself lucky to have a husband that is so thoughtful towards you to begin with. A lot of women don't have that.

I really liked Riley's advice.

What was the band?

I'd be disapointed, but I'd also "forgive and forget." Everyone's human and something may have distracted your DH or he just accidently wrote down the wrong date. You could have taken respsonsibility too by double checking the tickets. You could have said to him that you are so excited that you'd like to see the tickets, because it feels like a dream. Sure the singers/group is amazing and it might be your only chance, but DH is more important. Getting mad isn't going to accomplish anything except a couple of sleepless nights due to feeling guilty/angry. Just not worth. Life is longer than you think.