What Would You Do - Clinton,MS

Yeah I would respond. Tell her what happen. Do not appologize you are not the one who did unethical.

When you write back, and you DO have to, do not apologize. You don't want to acknowledge fault in a written office document if you did nothing wrong, which you didn't.

Just go right into it with: "I am not sure if this is unethical: Coworker X did X. I am reporting it hoping it is the right thing for me to do."

Period. If she writes back unprofessionally like "You should have come to me first blah" THEN you can say only: "I should have come to you first. Next time I will. I was seeking advice because I did not know if I should approach you about it." Period.

Keep a calm, rational tone. You did nothing wrong by not immediately tattling directly. Now be direct. Don't put any emotion into your sentences regarding the possibly unethical action, or she may think you have a personal beef with her friend.

I'm TOTALLY confused.

Did you see someone in your office doing something questionable? If so - I would speak up.

I THINK I understand your boss was upset because she MIGHT HAVE felt you were gossiping....and we all have played telephone before...so we know how things get messed up.

I would go into the boss and talk with her - tell her what you THOUGHT you saw and that you were simply asking another's opinion WITHOUT divulging names, etc. In the future - you will go to her with your concerns.

As far as the boss's email, because she has approached you in writing, you are going to have to reply in writing if you want to protect yourself from potential trouble. Whenever someone puts things like that in writing, it is a form of documentation (whether it is coming from you or the boss). If you respond to it in a timely and professional manner, you can use it to shield yourself from any fallout. As others have said, clarify that you weren't gossiping but trying to determine the appropriate course of action and ask her if she needs you to speak to anyone else (HR, higher management, etc.) about the unethical behavior. That way, if it is not addressed by your boss, you have documentation on your side. It's a shame to have to think that way, but it's good to err on the side of caution when you are uncertain of your boss's ability to look past her friendship with the coworker to do what's right or what's best. You don't want to end up being the scapegoat.

I would speak with your boss about it. Tell her that if the action had been obviously unethical, you'd have told her right away, but since it was not so clear-cut, you didn't want to appear to be "tattling." Bouncing ideas off of others in the workplace is what happens when you have a team environment. Say that you're glad your co-worker came forward and confessed before you felt it was necessary to report the action, as you really did not want to get in the middle. Ask your boss if she'd like you to come to her with every concern, or how she would like you to handle events such as this in the future. Sounds to me like you need to watch your back both with your slightly-unethical co-worker, and the boss. For the boss to believe you were at fault suggests that she's trying to protect her friend at your expense. Be careful.

I understand your purpose in talking to your co-worker, but I also understand why your boss might be unhappy about that as well. Even though you may have had good reasons, who's to say the person you talked to won't spread it (accidentally even) throughout the office. It really should have been a personal decision or you might have discussed it with your spouse or an outside friend. Personally, I would explain my reasoning and then state that you understand your boss' concern and next time you will go to the boss directly if you have an issue.

Ideally, you won't know if the boss said anything to the person who acted unethically because it would not be right for your boss to discuss it with you. Once you report it, the issue is between that person and the company and you are out of the loop. It might feel to you like nothing happened, but you won't know unless that person says something about it.

Now that she knows there's something you have to email her. She can imagine all kinds of things worse than whatever was said or done. Just tell her you was asking the others if you think this situation was unethical and then let the boss decide. Tell her your sorry she heard it that way and assure her that if you knew for certain there was something to report you would absolutely do it.

The problem I see is that without your reply, you are the one looking bad. With your very carefully thought out reply, you can "set the record straight", and then if anything comes back to bite you in the butt, you have evidence of what this is really about.

So sorry you are going through this. I think it was awful of her to say in writing that she was disappointed in you.

Dawn

I work for a large company where there is emphasis on being ethical, with yearly ethics training providing hypothetical situations. I always thought it was overkill, but now I am glad that the issues are clear. We can contact an ombudsman anonymously for any situation. Yes, respond to your boss, do not act subservient, you were not the one doing wrong. I like AmyJ's answer but would also add that it is the company's duty to educate its workers about what is ethical or not, and the fact that you were unsure how to respond it THEIR responsibility, not yours, and you should perhaps ask that all employees are trained in ethics to avoid having anyone else be unsure in an uncomfortable situation.

Yes you should e-mail her, but telling her in person is preferrable IF she will listen. I have had to chastise employees in the past and some times they are so busy thinking of their rebuttal, they aren't listening. If that's so, e-mail her and then tell her in person that you e-mailed her to make sure your position was what you really felt.

Tell her that you were just seeking a second opinion before you talked with her, just to make sure you had good reasoning behind your feelings and position. That should appease her about not speaking to her first.

Good luck to you and yours.

perhaps inform her, and then inform the person about her that you informed her and see if anything happens. you did nothing wrong. nothing. telling you she's disappointed sounds like she's manipulating you.

I would stay out of it, unless it involved you personally.

Did you name names when you spoked to another co-worker about what that person would do? If you did not you can certainly tell your boss that you did not mention any names (so it's not gossiping) but was trying to clarify if the situation was truly an ethical issue that needed to be reported and that maybe you can suggest that some training in ethical issues may be warranted if the co-worker in question was not aware what they have done. Some offices do not have it in black and white on paper for each employee to know exactly what is expected of them. Good Luck!