What Would You Do? - Woodbridge,NJ

I'm not sure you can "do" anything. You've already made your feelings clear, and they were ignored.
The obvious thing to do is start looking for another job, but I know you have special needs kids and a sick husband, so I don't know if that's possible right now.
So you're either going to need to make a major life change (like moving somewhere with more work opportunities, and maybe better health care/support services for your family) or you just accept the fact that your current employer doesn't really respect you that much.
It's time to piss or get off the pot.

You are being taken advantage of, and that is not ok.
You have given them 10 years of being a good employee, going above and beyond and working for less than you are worth.
My husband faced a similar situation with his old company. Because he had been there so long, he was paid lower than his peers in his position that came in from another company. Opportunities were given to newer employees because they were big wig favorites.
After 15 years, he was approached for another position with another company. MUCH better pay, better benefits, vacation etc.
When he put in his notice with his previous job, boy did they scramble. They offered to match everything this new job was offering, even relocation! He declined. After years of feeling over looked and unappreciated, enough was enough.
I personally would look for another position. You know your worth and value, find an employer who will also.
Good luck!

i would start to look for a better job that has retirement, benefits, insurance, and higher pay. with 20 years experience you should be able to find something better.

Well, they're taking advantage of you.

I would contact an agency, tell them what you're looking for, and see what they can turn up. With your experience, I think you'd find something else that would be as good, if not much better.

I think it's time.

If you would tell your daughters, or a close friend, to change jobs - then take that advice yourself. You deserve it. I think you deserve better - you're giving them much more than they are giving you in return. Another company would treat you better I believe.

yeah, this is not okay.

it's not an easy thing to do, but you do have 10 years in with this guy, and he seems to value your opinion.

so i think you should suck up your resolve, put on your psychic armor, and give it to him.

courteously, of course. but directly.

schedule a meeting with him and lay this out. have your points ready to discuss, and don't let the theme get sidetracked. print it out if you need to.

begin with your experience and years of service. from there go to industry standards and what peers in the business can expect in salary and compensatory benefits. tell him you appreciate him soliciting your opinion every year, and that you hope your suggestions have been helpful. finally tell him forthrightly and without self pity that you feel as if you've been undervalued by not receiving the same recognition as other employees, especially ones who don't have your long history with the company.

don't feel the need to fill silences. state your piece, then give him plenty of time to respond. if he's at a loss, that's a good thing. let the silence get awkward.

finally thank him for the time and for listening to you. tell him that it means a lot to you that he is willing to hear your concerns. wish him a good day and leave.

my confident bet is that the overlooking won't happen again.
khairete
S.

I would most definitely say something and also start looking for a new job with benefits!

I think B makes good points below.

Before you ask for anything, you need to think about what you are willing to offer in return.

It sounds like Cousin Joe at some point transitioned from working at home to working in the office? But that did not make sense for you and you chose to stay home because of your family needs?

So, that is one (big) thing - you hung on tight to working from home.

In another post recently you mentioned that you'll be moving your one son who is still home into a residential facility sometime soon. I think the time for the Boss conversation is *after* you do that. Because I think that a very good move for you would be to tell Boss that you would like to put in more face time, more in-office time. Try to suggest that. And think about other things along the lines of B's questions below.

Speak to your boss. Let him know that while you were willing to take on expenses and deal with things like late checks and low pay, now that the company has expanded and become successful, it is time that they reward you for your loyalty and going above and beyond, like phone calls on weekends and vacations, no benefits, etc. While that may be understandable when a company is a startup and just launching, it has been 10 years and the company is doing well and it is time to reward you. You're feeling unappreciated and your boss should be able to speak up for you to the owner, about how you receive no recognition whatsoever. They are obviously taking advantage of you and your situation.

I assume your boss is a decent guy who will do this, preferably, on an anonymous basis, as if HE is advocating on YOUR behalf, which is what a good boss would do, so as to not throw you under the bus ("Hey, Mr. Owner, M. is a great employee, we have not recognized her efforts since the company started, can we discuss providing her with benefits, and I'm hoping she got some sort of thank you email for her 10 years of service?"). I have mentioned to my boss that something upset me (like not receiving a staff appreciation day gift card, when they used to give them out before), and he apologized, told HR they should do something special for us next year because there is such low morale in the office and in the meantime, he pulled some cash out of his wallet to make up for it, and told me he appreciated me. I thought that was pretty nice of him.

When you speak to your boss about the things that bother you, do it in a kind, calm manner, not confrontational. We had someone mention their displeasure to HR here in a confrontational tone and HR responded by telling her that if she is so unhappy and angry, maybe she should leave. I'm sure that if she had spoken to them in a more calm, polite tone, the response would have been different. I would have suggested you find a new job, but I read below about your circumstances (sick husband, special needs kids) and finding such a job that allows you to work from home may not be easy, especially in the legal field. That is why I would start with a chat with your boss and see if they are willing to show some more consideration toward you if they know how you feel.