What Would You Do? - Lincoln,NE

No Benadryl. Tempting, but NOT the answer.
Have you tried a lavender calming bath before bed? Do you have a iron clad bedtime routine? have you tried putting him to bed earlier before the signs of sleepiness? (Sleep begets sleep theory) White noise in his room at night? Lullabyes playing on CD repeat all night softly? Hang in there--kepp trying

they didn't lie, hon. there are no solutions that work 100% of the time for 100% of kids. their advice is basically sound, in an minimalist sort of way. i would not get this baby out and sit in a chair with him. i would continue to go in and reassure him, sit by the bed if necessary and rub his back, but no other interaction. some babies really do need to be trained to sleep well, and you have taught yours that the lap is the place to be. (not a judgment....babies are excellent trainers.)
do you have a good sleep routine/ritual in place? do you stick to it? check things like how much light comes into the room, are his sheets scratchy. maybe some white noise (although i think babies are better off without that.)
you have to be part detective when you're a mom. your ped and nurse can't fix it for you if broad-spectrum advice doesn't apply. but you have to work the system right to know if it works or not, and sometimes a week isn't enough.
i'm so sorry you're so exhausted and sleep-deprived. that is a hard place to be. i sure hope it works itself out soon.
khairete
S.

I know they say not to do it now, but we ALWAYS had our kids sleep on their bellies--just like had been done for 100s of years before us. If you're uncomfortable trying that, perhaps try putting him on his side? I know it seems a bit harsh, but DON'T go in the room to reassure him when he first wakes up. Do you have a remote controlled mobile for him to hear/watch? If not, I would suggest looking into getting one. That way you can turn it on w/out making your presence known. And it's a great thing that he won't sleep with you now...otherwise, you may end up co-sleeping for the next 10 years O.O To be honest with you--the benedryl may end up being your last option. I wouldn't do it every night, but periodically shouldn't hurt anything. Good luck! Hope you can get some rest SOON!

Our son was like that, it's hard. Assuming it's not reflux here are a couple ideas:
First - have a solid bedtime routine that you do consistently EVERY night. Ours was bath, walk, songs, bed.
Second - pay attention to his sleep signals. With ds, if we didn't get him in bed by the third yawn we were done for. Babies who are overtired don't sleep, they just get more wound up and upset.
Third - If he wakes up crying go in and put a hand on his back, do NOT pick him up. When he calms down, leave. Repeat as necessary, which might be all night for a couple nights. Each time stay for shorter and shorter periods. Whaterever you do do NOT pick him up or move to the chair with him! You immediately negate all of the hard work you have done up to that point and teach him that all he has to do is cry long and hard enough and you will give in.

Some tips -
Put him to bed awake. We didn't do this with ds and created a monster for ourselves, took longer to break him of the rocking to sleep than the nighttime waking. We did do this consistently with dd and never had any sleep issues with her.
Consistency is the key. Do it the same way, every night, every time. The routine is soothing for babies, it helps calm them down, it helps them learn how to relax themselves.

I don't think Benadryl is the answer. That may backfire. I know some children have the opposite reaction to it and become hyperactive. Also, that wouldn't be a good long term solution. You need to find something that works for your son and yourself. There are many different opinions on how to teach your child to sleep. Only you can decide what is right for your family. I personally couldn't let my children cry it out. My daughter was a great sleeper from day one as long as she was in my bed. My son hated his crib until he was about a year old. He also refused to sleep in bed with me. I spent many nights patting his back and holding his hand through the crib rails until he didn't need so much help falling asleep. It took a few months that felt like I would never sleep again. Now, I just give him a kiss and walk out of his room. It is so easy. I recommend deciding on what you are going to do and stick with it no matter how long it takes. Babies are smart and know how to get what they want. It sounds like he is crying because he knows you will hold him in a chair. He has learned that crying works. Whatever you try may take longer than "average" because your son has learned how to get you to do what he wants. It may take him awile to understand that you are going to do things differently. Just make sure that you are completely committed to whatever you decide and things will get better.

I'm so sorry you are having this problem. You didnt say what he evening route was but try and simplify it and make sure he is good and tired. I would work to get him back in his crib, he is probably so used to sleeping on you on a chair that he doesn't want anything else you just need to brake the cycle and get him back on a good routine.

I wouldn't do any meds. I would contact another PED office and ask them for some advice. My daughter was always a good sleeper, but when she was close to a year old her sleeping pattern was a little out of sorts for awhile. I read about it being because of all the developmental milestones that are occuring at that age and how that can affect their sleep patterns. We didn't have it last very long and the CIO method worked with her. She only cried for a few minutes and then would fall asleep. Sorry I'm not much help, but I think getting a second or even third opinion may help.

I used the cry it out method at age 6 months for both my kids - we followed the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It worked wonders, and my daughter only cried for 30 minutes. Your nurse & doctor didn't lie, this method works, but I will tell you, it is torture hearing the cries and not going in. I cried myself when while my husband and I were doing it. We only had to do it 2 nights before my daughter slept like an angel all night, so it is successful. The second night, she only cried for 10 minutes. My son was harder, but after 3-4 nights, he was fine. It may take you a little longer, since he's older, but it is worth a shot. If you're diligent about leaving him alone - I promise you and he will be ok after several days. I always felt that when you "go back in to reassure" made things worse for the child, and prolonged the crying. We didn't do that after the first night with my daughter.

Unfortunately your son is in a bad habit of sleeping with you in the chair, and you have to be the one to break it - he won't by himself. Since your son is almost a year, have you thought about a toddler bed - one that is close to the floor? Or even taking your crib mattress out of the crib and placing it on the floor - buy some "big boy sheets" to entice him. I know it's a bit early, but maybe he's ready.

By the way - benadryl can have the opposite effect on kids. When I have to give it to mine for allergies, they get hyped up. So don't count on that being an option.

I feel your pain and know you must be thoroughly exhausted. I know the cry it out option is tough, but with my experience, it does work because it teaches self soothing. My thoughts are with you. Good luck!

I myself have a 10-year-old daughter who has Sensory Processing Disorder. While I don't pretend to know what causes Autism--I think it's a combination of things--my daughter having taken almost daily pharma drugs from birth until about age 4-5, having too numerous ear infections, having every chidlhood illness, having ear tubes 3x, adenoid surgery, and tonsil surgery, as well as having the entire round of childhood vaccinations, I have to ask: did you son recently have any of his baby shots?

No one can convince me that, for some children, childhood vaccinations aren't a concern. My daughter had a horrible time sleeping by herself in her crib--much preferred sleeping on top of me in a rocking chair--and to this day, still sleeps with me in my bed. Just tossing it out there as food for thought. There are so many different manifestations of the Autism spectrum issues; for us with our daughter, sleeping issues is one of them.

This is my third and they've all been the same. During growth spurts they can sleep 18 hours of the day. When not you get a 2 hour nap and an 8 hour night sleep.

I don't let my littlest (7 months old) Or ever any of my children sleep in my bed. I already know that is suicide. So we have his routine. I sit in the rocker breast feed him all cuddled to me under his favorite blanket.. then when he's asleep we put him down in his crib. Sometimes he wakes up an hour later and we have to do it again... But it's his routine and really that is the best thing you can do is do a routine. If he wakes up crying have a mannerism of how you handle it. Walk in and rock for 5 mins and then put them back.

I just think all that really works is schedules.. even more so if the child ends up being autistic but I've always been told that isn't a concern till they are 2. It runs in my family sadly.

But I'd just get a schedule and do calming routine ... so far its worked with all of my children. But some days it doesn't work I'll admit but by far it is the best thing I've found andit's even working on our baby. Unless he's in a growth spurt.. if so watch out! lol

I only read a few of the other posts so I'm sorry if this is a repeat. Does he like car rides and sleeping in the car? I know that my daughter did and sometimes we would take her out in the car and then just let her sleep in the car seat. We had to do it for a while so that she learned to sleep on her own. (I used to let her sleep on my chest every night) She is only 7 months old and sleeps like a champ now. I put her down with some music and a little light and then when she is out I turn off the light and she is good until the next morning. We tried the cry it out method and I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was torturing her! Not sure if this will help, but it's just a suggestion! Good luck with the sleep! Hope you get some soon!

You must read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. This exact thing happened to me and now we have a 9 month old who finally sleeps. The book emphasizes the importance of naps during the day and the more the child sleeps, the better they sleep. This book was an eye opener for me and I recommend it to every parent I know.

hey i just posted a looong rseponse to lindsey c. re: sleep. i was telling her about "good night sleep tight" by kim west that has really worked wonders for us. i tried cio too and it failed. tried no cry sleep solution. failed. this book is the only one to work for us. please get it at the library and follow the steps. my son slept through the night again last night w.o waking up once (he used to wake up every hr on the hr) and i just can't believe it actually works. it's basically a cross betw. cio and no-cry. you have him cry in his crib but you don't leave the room at all. you stay right by his crib, shush him, pat him (but don't pick him up) and in 30-40 min he'll tire himself and go to sleep. do that for the next 3 days and then move halfway across the room and do it. keep moving further out every 3 days til ur out of the room completely. key is to get him drowsy but awake when u put him in his crib. he should be drowsy but aware that he's going in his crib. he'll cry, he won't be happy but he won't get hysterical b/c ur right there next to him and you won't be leaving til he's deep asleep. it really does work. good luck. and read my answer to lindsey's post if you want a more detailed look. or google the book! good luck..

Our family co-slept with both of our babies but it sounds like that isn't an option for you. My son had very bad reflux as a baby and I would prop him up on pillows which worked well for him. As he got older he started to slide down more so we graduated to a triangular wedge. (MedSlant triangular wedge) He actually still sleeps on it at age 9. I don't know if he would still have reflux problems but he just likes his pillow. Maybe the change would help even if that isn't the problem.

When our children would not sleep we were told to wear a T-shirt for awhile and then lay it in the bed with the baby so that they can "smell" you. I will say that worked only slightly . We did have ear and snius issues and all 4 of our kids had to have tonsils and adnoids out. Our 3rd child had her adnoids out at 13 months because they were enlarged and she had apnia. My husband and I never got a full nights sleep until their surgeries it was a blessing . I remember crying when our oldest had his tonsils and adnoids out because I got to sleep thru the night. Also have you tried a weighted blanket for your little one. I wish I had known about those when our oldest was little , When he was in 4th grade we went thru therapy because he had issues we had no clue about and they used a weighted vest so he could concentrate on homework ,so maybe your baby would do well with the blanket. Good Luck

This is going to have some repeats but I had the same problem with my daughter. Tried the benedryl and it only made her hyper :/ not a good thing when your sleep deprived. I was so tired I had my sister n law come over one afternoon and watched my kids so I could sleep and It really did help. We ended up putting the crib matress on the floor and she slept through the first night :) Hope this helps. :)

Sorry if this is a repeat suggestion.

Have you tried the chiropractor??? Find one that takes specialized classes in children and have him adjusted a few times. Works wonders for our kids.

If he will only sleep while sitting up in a chair with you, have you had his ears checked? Or talked to the dr about reflux? Those 2 things immediately popped into my mind when I read your post.

Just keep trying different things. I would ask the pediatrician if you could give him benedryl for one good night of sleep..........why not!?

Try the weighted blanket on the baby.

Try putting his blankie in the the dryer just before bedtime so that it is warm and comfy.

I don't believe in the cry it out technique. If a 6 months old isn't sleeping then I would worry about ear infections and reflux. Especially if he sleeps better sitting up. Be sure the doc re-checks.

We have special needs kids too...I feel your pain.

As babies, two of them could not sleep flat. One would fall asleep in the swing, and we would just take the whole carrier (it was removable) and we set it in the crib.

The other one did not like the swing, but could sleep in her car seat. For her too, the car seat went right in the crib.

Maybe it was the "enclosed" feel, maybe having the head inclinded, who knows? It worked. Worth a try.

M.

Ohhh, I feel for you! I wonder if sleeping on his back is a problem. If he has acid reflux issues or an ear infection, this can be very painful for him. Maybe you can put something small underneath the head of his mattress to give it more of an incline. He may also benefit from having a weighted blanket over him as well but I don't know if it safe for him at this point. Check with your doctor about it or other possible alternatives.

Wish I could be of more help.

I feel your pain! My 3rd son was an excellent sleeper until about 6 months old. Then he would not sleep in his crib at all. He would wake up crying a dozen times a night. We tried having him sleep in his car seat and that worked ok, but not if we placed it in the crib only if he was on the floor next to our bed. When he was about 11 months old, quite by accident by staying at a friends house we realized he simply HATED his crib. We put his crib mattress on the floor and went around at his level checking for items for his safety and he "slept like a baby" again. He is now 8 and a wonderfully smart and happy child, but we now see his little quircks that he doesn't like to feel enclosed which is probably why he did not like his crib, but at 11 months couldn't really express that too us without crying all night long. I know it is frustrating for you. I hope you find a solution that works for your family and start getting some sleep again soon!