Hi B.,
Good Question, I ran into the same problem last year when I moved in with my b-frnd and transferred my son to a new school, He was almost 11 at the time and to old for Day Care with all the little babies and little kids, but to young for taking care of him self, not to mention he's not used to the new place, new school, new neighbors and he was having a lot of fear and anxiety.
I feel for you, What Do People Do? I wanted to know, So I went around the neighborhood and asked, quickly I found out that most mothers are SHAM's or there kids had older, high school sib's, so I made a flyer (in hopes a SHAM or high school student who wanted some extra cash & would help me), I left work early and stood out side my sons new school handing out the flyer that announced "We are your new Neighbors, I'm looking for a place my son can come hang out before and after school (walking distance, preferably close to our home)Willing to pay!
I got 1 phone call to help but he was too far away, another lady told me my son could hang out before and after school for a while until she went back to work, that worked because she had a son in 1st grade and so my son would walk her son to and from school so she didn�t have to. In exchange, I watched her son for her at night when she needed it, It wasn�t "babysitting:, it was "coming over to play"
Eventually, my son (after the littler one started getting on my sons nerves) decided he was comfortable being home alone.
Yea!
So... what about going out at night. What has just happened for us, (because none of this was planned, I don�t know what I'm doing other than hoping everything will work out some how) Is I met some neighbors and we talked about nights out w/o kids, we agreed that it would be nice to have our kids have sleep over�s, sometimes at our house, sometimes at there house, I spend a lot of time home, after unpacking and getting settled, I feel like I can be a mom again, but I do feel like I get plenty of free time when my son goes to friends or neighbors house, He�s at that age where he just calls up and says �hey mom, can I hang out at ----- house for a while�, sometimes I ask him to ask the parents if he can stay for a couple hrs while I run an errand or go to dinner. I do agree he is too young to stay home at night, I either find someone or cancel plans, but its really not that big a deal, probably because I do get so much help now from neighbors and friends who are going through the same thing. If I don�t go out one night, I know there�ll be another eventually. Oh� and I have my son in scouts and this year they started going camping on one-night�ers, that�s always fun. But Yes! If I had to, I�d pay a 19 year old to watch TV while I�m out, I think it�s just that awkward age where they�re not quite old enough to be left alone, mainly incase of an emergency. I�d die if something happened and my son had to be the decision maker of a serious situation. He shouldn�t have to go through that just yet. (But Soon!!)