What to Do with My 1 Month Old

Have you tried a swaddling blanket? He may feel like he's being held. When he grows a little you can also try a front carrier. My daughter practically lived in it. She felt like she was being held and I had 2 hands. I have never tried a sling but I have a couple of friends that swear by it. Good luck. It will eventually get better when he can sit up!!

I agree with the acid reflux suggestion. My grandson had it and was not comfortable lying down flat. Also have you tried still swaddling him? My other grandson loved it for several months! The tighter he was wrapped in a blanket the better he liked it.

Have you swaddled him? That helped my 2nd daughter a lot and I could leave her swaddled in her bouncy seat. Read "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It has lots of ideas for soothing babies. Remember, he's only 5 weeks old! That's really little. He'll certainly grow out of this very soon.

I agree with most here...get a sling! It was the best thing when my son was an infant. I could still get things done and he was happy too. I think it made him a much more secure child too. Just remember, this stage will be over in a blink of an eye. Take it one day at a time.

Yep, I've been there!! My now 7 month old son was the SAME way. Have you tried buying a sling or baby bejourne (spelling)? He might like one over another, and I would try both. He would still feel close and you would have both hands free. I would also try different styles of swaddling. My daughter liked what we called the "burrito" best. I don't know what it really is called, but basically lay him with his head towards the corner of a receiving blanket,folding the corner down so that it doesn't cover his head/face. Bring both corners down THEN tuck his feet/legs up bringing up the bottom corner, wrapping it around his back so he can't wiggle out. Best of luck! I hope this helps.

Hi A.,
My daughter was like that. I tried to resist it, but that just made all of us more stressed. Finally I put her in the baby bjorn and basically carried her arond all day. At least I had my hands free and could still get things done. I seem to remember that it got better by about 7 months.
Now she is six - is happy, independent, and an absolute sweetheart who still loves to snuggle.
Best wishes,
B.

I tell ya A., I feel your pain. My daughter was the same way and even hit colic around this time. She is now 18 months old and it was a blur in how I got through it. I also had a 6 year old to take care of too so it was so hard.
The way you get through it is one day at at time. Keep trying things. Iused to stroll her and it was one of the few things that calmed her. I had all my tricks lined up. I had a swinging bassinet, a floor mat, the bop pillow, the bouncy seat and I would just alternate her each one so I could get things done. I had the bassinett swinging in the kitchen so I could cook.
Also, some people would disagree but I strapped her to me alot!!! I had a sling when she was your sons age I would just stick her in it and get things done. Sometimes they just want to be close to Mom. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get through it. The sling saved me and I even have put it in her memory box labeled 'your 2nd womb'. After all that is how alot of other cultures do it. Their babies stay strapped to them until they can walk (not at all suggesting that) but our culture seems to be quick to teach you how to get t hem off of you.
Goodluck and it will get better in a few months.

I used a sling with my daughter. We used the Native sling and then the Ergo. I am not sure if it is practical for you but it may work. I am guessing he is just getting used to this world and it is prime bonding time.
Best wishes!

Have you tried swaddling him? I saw a video of a pediatrician with her 3 month old and she claimed that babies should be swaddled until 14 weeks of age. You can go on amazon.com and search for swaddling blankets or swaddleme. There is also a halo sleepsack. Here is the link to watch the dr. on a tv show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmqwhT7Z_Qw

Both of my girls were this way, and they were only 22 months apart...so I got a LOT of use out of our Baby Bjorn carrier. I'd strap the baby on to do laundry, dishes, while feeding my toddler, etc. Happy baby, functioning mom with a really strong back! I have tried on one of the ERGO carriers and they seemed more comfortable, so you may want to try one of those. No worries, you'll not spoil the baby; and as soon as he's sitting up and crawling, life should get much easier on you! Good luck, and congratulations on your new little one!

Crying peaks at 6 weeks. It is a developmental quirk--not something you or he can control. He'll settle as the weeks go by. Hang in there!

A., Your son may have reflux; it is similar to acid reflux in adults. Talk to your baby's doctor about the problem.

I had the same problems w/ both of my girls. My first was just a snuggle baby (still is) She would literally slide and press into me from day 1. My second wouldnt lay down b/c she had acid reflux. It took me 2 months to figure this out b/c she really didnot spit up that much, at least where I could see it. If they need to be held, hold them or sling them. Try not laying him down in his bed unless it is bed time so he doesnt get confused. Keep trying all swings and strollers he will come around:) Also be careful of vibrating and swinging when he is going to sleep. My friend had a baby and used the vibrate setting on the bassinet to put the baby tp sleep everytime and when it was time to go to the crib she had a hard time b/c it didnt vibrate her to sleep. I am not saying never use them b/c they can be lifesavers. Just try not to have him be dependent on them for sleep. I hope you get some results.

I know some people think this is awful but sometimes you just need to let them cry a little while. When you put him down have some stimulating toys there for him things to look at, put on some soothing music before you lay him down so he will be able to hear it before he starts to cry. He will be just fine to cry. You will be fine also, it won't hurt him and you will eventually will see he will become more self stimulated instead of always needing to have stimulation from you. You don't need to pick him up everytime he cries and he will learn this too.

Well, it can be make a parent very tired since you may I assume are getting up in the night for feedings. I also suggest a sling or carrier of some type. I had to carry our third child the most and born his weight was 8lbs and 15 oz. so from birth he was a bit heavier then the other two boys I had. He's just 5 weeks old and I'm sure you know they do grow out of it as they want to explore their world around them...right now you are the world. Just try to enjoy it for now and they really do fall asleep and they enjoy being with you in a sling or whatever you pick to carry him in. I do have to say in the colder months I enjoyed my little one in the sling he kept me warm....lol....it was nice, I know in the heat out and about it can make you a bit warm but inside with air conditioning you should be fine. Best wishes.

I have 7 year old twin boys. I know your pain times 2. When my boys were infants, I found that "bouncy seats" were a God send. The motorized motion of the seat kept the kids entertained (along with the hanging toys). Within 6 months, I had to contact the manufacturer because both motors had died (that's how much they like them). They replaced the motor on both seats & my boys continued to enjoy. Make sure you are within sight of the child & he will probably be content. The bouncy seats are worth their weight in gold! Give it a try.
E.

My now five year old was what I call a "high maintenance baby". Same thing -- didn't like to be put down. E-ver. I'm a bit of an earth mom. I figured that moms all over the planet wear their babies -- just not as much in the first world... so I got a sling and a back carrier thingy once she got bigger for outside work and kitchen stuff/housework/etc.

I kept her on my lap for books/playtime and slowly worked her to floor time for playing -- but it took some time. Everyone's different. Babies are different and moms are different.

Five weeks is young yet. Wear him for now. Babies feel so good! You have to try to accommodate the baby but not at your expense. As he gets older and bigger, if wearing your son is not for you, the good news is that ear plugs are not expensive and that he will adjust.

I always used a sling with my youngest. It was soo much easier to take care of my 2 oldest boys and the things that needed to be done around the house.

A., I had one of those babies too. I practically lived with a baby bjorn strapped to me. I like mei tais and slings too. I've heard that wraps keep them so close to you that you can do almost anything with them on. As you know, he won't want to cuddle anymore very soon--enjoy it--you'll miss this time in a few months!!

Have you tryed putting a stuffed animal in the chair or swing with him. Maybe one that sings or has some kind of vibration. Sometimes they are just wanting the connection with someone or something else. I found that with my youngest he always wanted some kind of movement. Your son maybe be looking for your heart beat.

Hey A.,
I went through the same thing with my daughter at that age, and I found the best thing to do is just give in and hold her. Have you tried using one of those things you strap on to your chest and strap them i? That worked the best for me, my daughter wouldn't even let me put in the swing and her daddy was in Iraq so I am hoping that it is easier for you. I found the more I wanted to resists her the more she needed me. The good thing is it does end, just be patient. Good luck!

not sure if others made this suggestion, but what about using a wrap for your little one some of the time? That way, he can be close to you, but you can still get other things done! Best of luck! F.

Virtually all newborns are like your baby at this age! You are not alone.

I had an adjustable fleece pouch. It was a lifesaver. I carried the baby all day in it, and even nursed in it. I also swaddled tightly with the miracle blanket (but even then, I had to hold my kids). Things suddenly got easier for each of my kids at the 2-month mark.

Hang in there. You're almost there...

I would hope that you will hold him and get to know him and he you. This is a very important time in his very young life and a mother's nurturing is so important. Maybe you just need to settle down and relax awhile, slow down your pace a bit,leave the dishes and enjoy looking at every tiny detail of this remarkable human being as you sit and hold or rock him. AT this age this is not the time for tough love. You knew him on the inside, now get to know him on the outside. He needs you to always make eye contact with him, touch him and talk to him. Anything you can do to create a well rounded happy little person. You all will reap the rewards because he will be social, secure and happy. Husband needs to do this too.
If you let a baby lay too much his head will be flat on the back. When I see that I think, well his mom didn't hold him much. Holding is a big deal to these growing maturing newcomers to this crazy life, and you expect him to do without it...No way, mom.

I've been in your shoes with my two girls. One of the things that I had to do was first make sure the baby was fed, diaper dry, and not sick. After that, it would pain me but I would let the baby cry when I put my baby down. I would try to comfort the baby and let her know that Mommy was there by stroking her back and singing to her without holding her. I hope that helps you.

Perhaps swaddling him tightly will make him feel snuggly even when you put him down. (maybe prop him slightly on his side, too) Also, you may want to try white noise. I actually recorded the sound of my vacuum cleaner (long ago) when my oldest was tiny. It really helped soothe him. (They have white noise CDs now that you can buy, but you could try running the vacuum first and see if he likes it.) There are also bouncy seats that vibrate, but I didn't find them particularly helpful. My oldest was like that. I tried a front carrier (like a backpack), but he was so heavy, it made doing things hard. Hang in there. Good luck.

Pop him into a hotsling and keep on going!

Hello A.,
I am a working mother of 4. All four of my children lived in a sling, of one sort or another, for about six months. Mom, Dad, aunt, uncle it really did not matter who was doing the carrying as long as they were being cuddled close to someone. With a sling/carrier you have your arms free and go even use the computer. Don't fret, this is your second baby while you still have a young two-year old. This baby just needs its share of time with you. Things will really get so much better once this new little one can roll over and grasp and play. Just take some time out and enjoy your children. This period will really pass quickly.
C. P.

C. P.

Hi A.,
I can relate! I found the Moby D wrap worked wonders.
Cheers,
V.

I know this may sound cruel, because it is your child, but you have to let him cry for more than 5mins. All every child wants to do is have their parents hold them and he knows that if he cries for a little bit one of you will come running. It will be hard, but that is the only way to really break him out of it.

I would hold him if he wants to be held. They have wonderful baby carriers that you can purchase new or used on line and you can make him happy and you will still be hands free.

dont worry about him not getting enough tummy time, studys show that babies who are carried everywhere end up crawling earlier then babies who arnt, I dont know how it works, but it does. My 7 month old is proof of that. Crawling is a 9 month old thing and shes already crawling around the house like a pro and anyways, at this age, being held alot is very important to their devolopment, I know it can be annoying because it's hard to get things done but in the end, your baby will be smarter because he sees everything you're doing and learns things faster because of it. I hope this helps you not to be afraid of him not getting enough tummy time.

He knows his rights! That's what we always said when our sons stood up for themselves and insisted on nursing, or being held (by MOM - not Dad! Dad is an inferior substitute! they would seem to say with thier howls), or clutching something I wanted to get out his grip, like a fork. We preferred to think of it as the baby standing up for his rights, it's easier when you can laugh about it.

I tried a number of different slings - www.koalakorner.com has a chart where you can compare the various features and get one that works for you. The fleece pocket sling was very easy to use, especially during cool months or indoors in the AC. (Not good for a trip to the zoo on a hot day.)
Once he can hold his head up well, you can try the carriers that put them on you back, and then it's easier to do chores around the house. The Ergo carrier is GREAT for this, and you can use it until they are 35 pounds! It's not impossible to empty a dishwasher with them on your front, but it takes a lot longer.

Once they fall asleep, you can sometimes lie them down and squirm out so that you can take a shower or whatever.

It is sweet to think that in Bali, there is a lovely tradition wherein newborn babies are held by family members all day, every day until they have a groud-touching ceremony at 3-6 months. (There's also more extended family living close by.) Lucky babies, huh?

I highly recommend a sling. This way he is happy being next to you and hearing the heart beat of mom or dad and you can still get things accomplished. Remember he is still in his 4th trimester and needs you close by. This will pass, but you have to ease him from being so close all the time. And just cherish this time, pretty soon you are going to want to hold him and he won't want you to!! But the sling was helpful for us (my husband and I both used it) and we would vacuum, do household stuff, email, shop, whatever with her in the sling! Congratulations on your miracle!

A.,

I second the notion of checking with your doctor and also the sling or wrap. This will free your hands up while still having baby close!

K.
www.balterbaby.com

Buy a sling and keep him close to you! Really. There are so many slings out there or carriers that are wonderful! It keeps the baby on you without you really have to use too much of your muscle to hold him. Babies have different needs and need to be held when they want to be. I've got a sling that a friend of mine made. It's wonderful. I'll be using it with my 5th child this month, when he is born. Good luck!

You have a lot of good advice here. Mine is more of a preaching... Do NOT let your 5 week old baby lay there and cry. He is on loan to you from God so you must take care of him & comfort him............. Hope this dosen't offend you. Good luck hon. It DOES get easier

A., Realize that your son has only been here for 5 weeks. Give him a chance to get comfortable with his surroundings. All babies do not adapt to being out of the womb the same way that some others do. Give your baby what he needs and very soon he will be reassured that he is safe and will be comfortable not being held. Right now continue to hold him. Don't let him cry. Sorry... it's part of the pains of parenthood, but its' worth it in the long run. God Bless.

Get a great sling, if you only want to get one and be done I personally don't recommend a moby or any stretchy wrap (not as easy for back carries or when the baby gets 20+ lbs). Check out www.thebabywearer.com there is probably a babywearing group near you or someone that could help you find the perfect for carrier for you and your needs. I know i personally have many different ones and different types for different things/babies! Good luck!

I had the same problem with my second son. I used an infant carrier around the house so I could still feel productive and he felt secure. He had collic and it went away around three months so there is a light at the end of the tunnel...hope this helps!

Try swaddling more often while he is lying on the floor. Also, around 6 weeks they tend to hit a growth spurt as well. He could be needing a bit more food right now as well. You could try uping how many bottles he gets and see if that helps make him happy. You didn't say if you were BF or bottle, but if you are BFing, watch what you eat as it can upset his tummy and make him gassy too.

But yes, you are right on about not holding him all the time!! Will make for some rough times down the road not only for you but for him as well!!

Good luck!
S.

Hi! I have an almost eight week old girl who also likes to be held a good bit. We also can't and won't live with her glued to our hip. We hold her, put her on a blanket on her back and then on her stomach and go back and forth a few times from back to stomach. We try her chair or swing with it off (if it's on she almost always falls asleep.) We are still having to force her to have extended periods of awake time during the day because she seems to be a night owl...She wants to sleep during the day and be awake from 4-11pm and of course wants to be held almost the whole time. The longer her awake times are during the day the better she does in the late evenings. Anyways, through all of it she cries some. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that it is normal for infants to cry several hours a day (not necessarily all at one time of course.) There are times when you hold your baby and there are times when you put him down on a blanket, mat, in the crib wherever and let him cry. If you feed him, change him and burp him then he may just need to cry. It is good for their circulation and lungs. I also have a two year old son and believe me he was not injured in any way by crying things out as a babe. I hope your son grows more content by the day and I hope you have confidence in whatever you decide to do but know you can let your babe cry.

A., it's quite possible that your little one has acid reflux if he's not comfortable laying down. My daughter had that and I had to hold her up right for a few months. I know you must have your hands full with a 2 year old in tow as well...but I'd suggest contacting your pediatrician and find out what's the cause of his discomfort when put down.

in addition to that, have you tried a sling to carry him in?

Best of luck to you!
am

My son was the same way (3 months old now) at that age. I just laid him on a boppy and walked away. He would of course start crying, so I put a pacifier in his mouth and walked away again. If he starts to cry again I would sit and talk to him while he's on the boppy until he calms down then I would walk away. My son still cries on occassion but for the most part he's ok when he's able to sit up (even if its at a slant).