What to Do If Your Child 6Th Grade Math Teacher Sends You a Rude Email

Can you copy/past the email into the question - remove EVERYONE's name, school name, location, etc.". More details will get better feedback.

Call him and ask him what he meant by that message. Don't tell him how you took it or imply that you didn't like it. Just ask him what he meant in that email. Period.

Then see what he says.

Email, like texting, is a terrible way to communicate sensitive matters. First, I would respond back politely asking him for an in-person meeting. Second, if he does not respond or does not agree to meet with you (which is kind of hard to imagine) I would make a request to the principal for the 3 of you to meet together.

since you don't offer up any example of the 'rudeness' whatsoever and have got it in your head that a teacher just up and out of the blue is singling out your daughter for 'disrespect', my best guess is that your kid was being horrid and he is trying to correct the situation and enlist the child's own parents to help him, and is being met with typical entitlement and faux outrage.
i wish him all the best.
khairete
S.

Ya know, based on the volume of one or two sentence, no information questions we have got in the past month, all living in Mount Laurel NJ I am going to go out on a limb and say there is something seriously wrong with your school system

You schedule a meeting with him and very calmly tell him your concerns. Ask him questions about how your daughter is doing in his class. Let him know she feels she's being singled out. Listen to his answers and go from there.
Maybe he's not being "rude" maybe he's just more strict. Not all teachers, especially at that grade level, are warm and fuzzy.

You forward the email to the guidance counselor and to the principal. You tell them that that you would like to set up a meeting with all 4 of you (you, principal, guidance counselor and teacher) to talk about your concerns, that you don't understand what is happening with the teacher and your daughter, and that you feel that the email from the teacher to you is unkind.

If the teacher is sending you rude emails, it's not going to do any good to meet with him separately. You have to get the principal involved. If the principal thinks that the email is not rude, then you still need help in dealing with this teacher, and the lines of communication will be open in this meeting.

Make a list of your concerns and bring them with you to the meeting. Detail what things the teacher does that you think are "different". You need specific examples - just saying he treats her with disrespect will not help. If you don't go in with a list, you're going to forget half of what you want to talk about. Make sure you have that list when you meet with them. Your child should not be at this meeting.

You should want for this meeting to clear the air and help the teacher understand you and the child's perception of how he acts towards her. If the teacher is a good person, he will adjust his behavior accordingly. But your daughter also has to try. And this should be talked about in the meeting as well. You have to be open-minded enough to accept that when the teacher is talking in the meeting.

First off, are you sure he treats your child differently or is this coming from your child? At that age all children often feel singled out for mistreatment when that is often not the case. If you did not like the tone of the email then email him back and let him know. I just had to do that with my son's math teacher, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and did not attack him or accuse him of anything, simply stated my concerns, and then I saved both emails incase I needed to take further action or involve the principal. He quickly emailed back and apologized and we have had no further issues. Does my son still think he is mean? Yes he does, but that is just because his teaching style is old school and he does not coddle the children.

Please edit your post to include more info:

a) In what way was the email rude? Can you quote a few lines (do change your child's name so you don't put her real name on an internet site)? What prompted the email? A call from you? An action by your child? Something else?

b) In what was does he treat your children differently from all the other kids? In what was does he show disrespect? How do you know this? Have you observed it, or is your daughter reporting this to you? What, if anything, have you done up to this point? Has a 3rd party observed and verified this (principal, guidance counselor, school psychologist)?

No one can advise you on what to do without some details. But please, do not do ANYTHING until you really have a chance to calm down and think this through.

I don't have any idea what to say since I don't have any idea what the email said.
Maybe you can change what class she is in so she doesn't have this teacher anymore?
Sometimes the teachers are way off - but sometimes the students (and/or their parents) are way off too.
It's hard to figure what's going on when we've got no background to work with.

act like an adult and e-mail him back asking questions to better understand the situation.

I can't answer either. It could be that he really is a horrible jerk to only your daughter and you (unlikely) or you are misinterpreting his actions/emails (likely) or maybe you're being protective of your daughter and not wanting to hear his perspective on her school work (also likely).

Without any details - we can't give you our take on this.

I will say - if I perceive someone as being rude to me - then I ask for clarification. That's where I would start. Then if you're not satisfied with his response, you cc the principal and ask for a meeting to clear up the problem.

But if you haven't at least approached the math teacher with your concerns, do not go over his head to the principal. Give him an opportunity to explain. And don't go on the attack. Just ask for clarification. Then, ask your friend or husband to read his response to get a second opinion before you do anything.

Do not jump to meeting with the principal or counselor without first meeting with the teacher, in person.

If the teacher is, in fact, not treating your child differently now, he will after you go over his head without first giving him the respect of an initial meeting.

Please copy and paste a copy of the email.
Can't respond until I see it.

Need more information...what was rude about it? What did it say? How is he treating her differently? I doubt he has time to just sit around writing rude emails....There must have been an issue to prompt him to write an email...

Without knowing what the email said it is impossible for anyone to give you good advice.

Provide more details and you will get much better feedback from the community.

What did the email say?

Based on the fact that this is your first post, I'm guessing you're the daughter, and your mom received an email from your math teacher. Good luck. If I'm wrong, please post a SWH.

Why don't you let us know what the letter said? And give examples...what do you mean he always treats your daughter with disrespect? The people on Mamapedia can give very helpful answers to a problem if you give examples and really let us know exactly what happened. How is your daughter behaving in his class? When my kids come home from school telling me something similar I tend to take the teachers side...I tend to think: well, what are YOU doing to cause your teacher to say that? I think you should have a sincere sit down with this teacher in person and listen to what he has to say.

Have you talked to the teacher?

How do you know he's always rude and disrespectful to your daughter? Are you there in the classroom to see it?

If not, then you can't make that blanket statement.

You are telling us your version of what your child says to you.

There are 2 sides to every story, you are not getting the teacher (adult) version.

Don't go running to his boss without speaking with him in a conference normally and not in attack mode.

Back off and get all of the information before you choose to say he disrespects your child.

You don't know what your preciius child is doing while in the classroom with the teacher. Maybe you child is a classroom issue, therefore a rude email is directed to you.

Get facts.

Could you elaborate? Could you show us parts of the email with identifying names removed? We can't really help you if you don't provide some details. What part of the email is rude? Does he use profanity or vulgar words to describe your daughter, or does he say something like "your daughter is refusing to cooperate in class"?

I had a former neighbor who had very few friends, if any. I took her to an outpatient knee surgery one time, and afterwards the doctor had a talk with her, and I was in the room and heard everything. He told her that she was not exercising, not taking her meds properly, eating very poorly (drinking tons of diet sodas and eating fast food every day and never touching a vegetable unless it was ketchup on her triple bacon burger), and that her extreme weight and sedentary lifestyle was harming her and that her knees were going to get worse if she didn't make some changes and comply with his therapy plan. She looked at me and just basically exploded. She said "you see what I have to put up with? These &*$*#(% ((%( are so rude. I came here for help and this *&^#$&* (#$*&$ is just treating me like an idiot". No, this doctor is instructing you, guiding you, giving you good advice in a very polite and respectful way. Nothing that the doctor said was demeaning or rude. I was so embarrassed for her, and so sorry for the doctor.

So, perhaps your daughter's teacher has called your daughter a terrible word that needs to be reported. Perhaps he has mocked her hair or skin or race or religion. Or perhaps he has told her that her work is only 1/4 done every day. If you want advice, please fill in the gaps for us. Otherwise, there's no advice that can be given, other than: if a teacher is truly mistreating your daughter, and your daughter is doing her best, then sit down with the teacher and calmly, politely, talk it over, preferably with a guidance counselor in the room as well. If your daughter is being told to behave like she is expected to, or if she is slacking off in her work, or if you don't think the teacher appreciates how special she is, then teach your daughter how to politely and respectfully deal with difficult people.

You don't give enough information to answer. What do you mean when you say he does not treat her with respect? And what did the email say?

I too would like more information before responding. It's rather late in the year for this to be his initial contact with you. Is this the first your hearing from him and/or about an issue between him and your daughter? What are her grades like? Is she keeping up with her assignments and tests? This is information you should be getting regularly, rather than a random "rude" email out of the blue. Please expand so we can get a better grasp on the situation. I think luvmykids might have a point here.