My son (13) was waiting outside the church building before youth group began. A kid a little older and taller walked by him with a girl. As he passed, this kid tapped my son on the arm with nunchucks. It was not a friendly gesture, but more of an intimidation move. My son looked at him and said, "Stop it," then ignored him. The kid came back and did it again, so my son walked away. That was the end of the story, thank goodness! Was my son's response the best way to handle this, do you think? I don't want him to get into fights, but I also don't want him being walked all over. I would love to hear your input!
Thanks so much for all these encouraging responses! I realized it's very important for kids to feel confident that they can handle these situations. I could see my son felt great when I let him know about this input. Thanks again!
he did perfect. If he walks awat then the bully does not get the responce he is looking for and it is no longer fun.
Updated
he did perfect. If he walks awat then the bully does not get the responce he is looking for and it is no longer fun.
it's hard to answer that definitively because the situations are all different, and personality also plays into it. one child might handle it best with humor, but in another situation that humor could be misread as provocative and tip it over into violence.
most of the time reacting little, and a firm 'stop it' is exactly the right response.
kudos to your son!
khairete
S.
I congratulate your son on his measured response. In my opinion, he did exactly the right thing. No doubt the aggressor was just showing off for his female companion; a common behavior for males, especially adolescent ones. By firmly yet calmly voicing his objection, he was holding his own vis a vis the male pecking order; and by walking away after the second provocation (after turning the second cheek), he avoided escalation. Your son's response was a very mature response for a male of his age. Kudos!
Your son did the right thing! You should be proud. He stood up for himself in a way that both stopped the other kid and kept the situation from escalating.
Grrr! What a bully and what a girl to don't leave him right there after that stupid behavior.
I was going to say that another thing would it be to just look at him and say (kind of smiling or wondering) a simple: Really?
Which could be translate, Really are you that childish, or really you thing that makes you look cool.
But then I read Suz T. post and I have to agree, that may help him stop or make things bigger.
So, I think your son did great, I hope he feels that way too.
Sometimes it takes more strength to stop/avoid something then to follow it.
Good for you L.'s son! (clap, clap)
He did great!! You should be proud!!
i think he did exactly right. mine is 4 so it's a little different. i am trying to teach him to TELL the kid - "that's not nice and i don't like it!" last night he came inside from playing outside on his own - you know 4 year olds- that NEVER happens. i asked him why he came inside, and after a little probing i got him to tell me that the little girl he was playing with wasn't being nice. i was so proud of him for walking away. i think as adults we should all ideally be able to say, "you're being RUDE and it's not okay" and stand up for ourselves to bullies....sadly i am SOOO not that way and most of us will not say anything out of embarrassment or fear...but if we can't say anything to stand up for ourselves, we can at least have the self respect to remove ourselves from the situation so that we are not treated that way.
First of all, why does a kid have nunchucks at church?
Your son handled it well.
The other kid might have been trying to show off for the girl, who knows?
At any rate, it's good it didn't go any further.
Wow, what a great kid you have!! He handled himself very well....it is great that he did not sink to the other boys level. I hope my girls can do this well when they get older 8-) You have raised your son very well.
I hope something was said to the pastor about this other boy having weapons at a church function. It is sad, in my opinion, that anyone would allow their children to carry weapons when going to chuch.
Praying for you and your family!!
I was going to say "yikes! where do you live that kids bring weapons to church!" But my live family lives in the same town. First I think your son showed what a fine young man he is by not sinking to the low level of the intimidator. I'd be proud of my son for handling it that way. I'd use the opportunity for a good discussion about character and really build him up for his strengths and choices . Sounds like you have a great son.
It sounds like your son reacted in exactly the right way. The only thing I think I would advise is for you to encourage him to have a talk with the leaders of the youth group about what this other kid did. They need to be aware that someone in the group is acting in an aggresive manner.
