What Things Are You Absolutely Adament About with Your Kids?

1) Kindness, patience, and empathy towards all living things.

2) Self respect

3) Iron Clad sense of humor

4) REALLY HUGE GRADES (all right, I guess that falls under self respect)

5) Explore

(Not what you meant, I guess, but my kids are older, the STICKY DOORKNOB days are behind us!)

:)

1. Saying please when they want something.

2. A polite thank you especially for gifts, said directly to the giver.

3. No jumping on the couch or bed. This one is because I simply can't afford to replace them if they break them.

There's probably more, I'm pretty strict, but these are at least my pet peeves.

Even if they're done eating, my kids must sit at the table till everyone's done. We sit together, we eat together, and we can all leave the table together. No specific reason why, I just don't like the idea of one of us (any one) sitting alone at the table.

Can't think of any others off the top of my head, but there are more :o)

Interrupting is a big one with me. I can't stand it when my mother does it, nor anyone else. Why would I tolerate it from my child? The child psychologist who poo poo'd correcting children for interrupting because they are, and I quote, "our most precious gift and that no one comes before them, no one" should be sterilized and have her licence revoked. How absurd!

Teaching kids that they are the center of the universe is why we have a world filled with self-centered rude little monsters running around and I completely disagree with that line of thinking. Kids must learn to be respectful of others if they are to be respected themselves. Respect is earned, not just handed out because you were born.

1. You don't have to like everyone, but you have to respect everyone.

2. Once you're in bed--that's IT! You're IN bed.

3. Put yourself in the other person's shoes when you're up against a potential problem, issue, etc. EMPATHY and perspective are big here.

1. No interrupting here either. You said when adults are talking, I say when anybody is talking. If I interrupt my daughter when she is talking, that's rude too.

2. Being loud when I'm on the phone.

3. Talking back irks the HECK out of me!

4. Asking 'why?' My daughters are allowed to question authority WHEN APPROPRIATE, but saying "Why?" every time I say no is just plain disrespectful. Whatever happened to "Because I freakin' said so!" ;)

1) Pick up your things! My job is not to make sure all your belongings go back into place. If you lost it because you didn't take care of it, I'm really sorry.

2) Polite and respectful language. You can disagree with me or your dad, or your teachers, but we expect them (ages 16, 18 and 19) to discuss matters calmly and with respect.

3) No swearing. I don't care if all your friends talk that way. We discuss over and over again that the first sign of ignorance and not being well educated is the need to constantly add expletives to your language in order to make your point. It stuck!
Over Christmas break, the boys had rented an action movie and we all sat down to watch it. They had seen it before and knew what it was like. Right before a swear word they would fast forward thru that part real quick so I wouldn't hear those words. After the 3rd time of doing this, my 16 yr. old said, "Sorry mom. We liked the movie for the action, and we forgot there was so much profanity."
I am very proud of them for that!!!

--Be thoughtful with and compassionate to all things, but especially those who have less power/privilege than you do
--Don't be wasteful or materialistic; things break that we may be attached to, but ultimately they are just things
--Be grateful for what you have and who you have in your life
--You are entitled to feel however you are feeling, but it doesn't grant you permission to not abide by the first rule
--Don't be apathetic about your world; be engaged and be passionate about something...anything!--this is my pet peeve--probably from being a teacher! Apathetic/entitled students don't last long in my classes...

my biggest rule is no lying...if my children come to me and tell me the truth I am much more prone to talking it out and being understanding, if they lie to me, whatever normal consequences they may have faced are a LOT worse (my oldest son really tests this one, he has learned that lies of omission are Just as bad as telling a bold faced lie)

dinner time is family time, we don't argue, sass or have electronic devices at the table.

being careful going in and out of the house...this was a much bigger problem at our old residence. I have house cats and they are inside only cats and we have one who likes to run away, he has been good since we moved, but it still makes me nervous.

I get really angry when kids dump dirty clothes...bathroom floors, bedroom floors...it is a big offense...even the 3 year old knows what a clothes hamper is, and everyone has one!

Wow the ones you said also drive me completely nuts!

I guess mine would be talking back. I have NO tolerance for it. Its so disrespectful. Also hitting. My kids will never get away with these while Im present.

OH, and dirty faces. Really, could you remove the dirt, boogers and food from your kids face so I dont have to look at it???

No cell phone after 9:00 on weekdays
No making plans w/out checking with me or dad first
No arguing when you ask a question and I give you my answer

Besides the basics: please, thank you, excuse me, etc...

I not only don't allow swearing, but I also don't allow the "gateway" swears such as "sucks" "pissed" and the like. This really bothers my daughter, because "all of her friends can say it" but I just believe it leads to worse, and IMO the English language has an abundance of words that can be artfully used to get a point across without having to be profane.

I also insist on speaking to the parents of whomever my daughter will be with, to ensure honesty in all parties. This comes from the time I told my Mom I was at a friends for the night, and she told her Mom she was at my house and we went to visit boys. Yes we got caught and into a heap of trouble and no we never did it again. And neither will my kid :)

And every night before bed: a hug, a kiss and an I Love You. No matter where we are or who is with us. No exceptions. This is fun when she has sleepovers. Her friends are now included too :)

1. No standing on the couch (my kids are 1 and 3).
2. No getting up while eating. No walking around with food.
3. No complaining out extracurricular activities just because you are not in the mood, most kids would love to do that activity and you are blessed. (for 3 yo)
4. Thank yous, especially for gifts. My 3yo will color and write name for a thank you card.
5. Take off shoes when we enter homes.
6. Respect all toys, especially books.
7. No unhealthy foods, especially no fast food or soda.
8. No talking back!
9. We wash our hands as soon as we come home from a public place.

Honestly, my kids are still pretty little. But, my oldest knows there are a few no nos.
1. No toys at the table. I do not allow them to play while eating, we talk instead.
2. There some forbidden words, like "stupid" and "butt."

I was a lot like you. I have a friend who is a child psychologist and she got on to me one time when I corrected my daughter about interrupting the conversation I was having with my friend. She told me that our children are our most precious gift and that no one comes before them, no one. If they have something they need to say they should be able to, nicely of course, let the grown up know they have something to say. When we tell kids to not interrupt an adult conversation then we are basically telling them that they are unimportant and not worth anything.

We can teach them how to do it in a non rude way but they are first and foremost the most important thing in our lives, not the friend, not the visitor, no one is more important.

There are some rules that I still have but I try to be understanding and realize that kids have very short attention spans and sometimes are just so curious and want to learn about everything.

I am not sure if I get the question, how I get it is what things are a must with my kids? If so here are some (not all) that I think is what you mean

To my 3 year old:
-Use napkins not her clothes
-Not hitting, specially hitting parents, I really don't like when I see this happen.
-When is bedtime it is bedtime, unless she is sick she has to go sleep or at least stay in her bed reading a book but no out.
-Respecting times outs

My 13 year old is really a good kid, lately I have to put more emphasis to some stuff now that she is growing:
-Absolutely no coward talking, I HATE that, I mush rather she talk to me back, which she would more likely get in trouble but the coward talk (the one when they talk softly enough for you not hear what they say but loud enough for you to know they are talking back) that is just NOT allowed at my house.
-No lying, is easy, what ever you do, you may or not get a punish or a talk (depends) but with the lie not only you have double punish but you lost my trust and that to me is the worst thing it can
-Being disrespectful, one of the ones that bother me more about tis one is when the teen are so disrespectful to others "trying" to be "cool".

I also agree about interrupting but also goes two ways, if the kids are talking I don't like when a grown up interrupt them just because they are kids.
Oh my, I am just reading some of the other answers and I agree with so many, many I didn't even notice I do, lol.
EDIT: My 13 year old also don't drink soda, I get a lot of talks for others because of this, I don't even mind my kids to have sweets here and there like ice cream or chocolate, but soda is a no-no at my house.
ADD what Theresa N. said to my list too. sense of humor, love to live things, self esteem and huge grades are important at my home too.

NO SODA! Only 1 small cup of juice per day, the rest is milk or water.

Do NOT touch the windows, someone has to wash them...and that someone is usually me. I hate fingerprints on windows/doors!

No standing on the furniture.

When they walk in the door they must hang coats take off shoes and put them away and wash hands IMMEDIATELY and in that order!

A child who rudely interupts is a child who will be ignored.

A child who whines will immediately be sent to his or her room.

I'm sure there are more but I just can't think of them right now because it's been a long day and I'm ready for bed!

1. Cleaning their own bathroom. 2 boys, 10 & 13. I haven't cleaned their bathroom in 8 1/2 years :)

2. Wearing a shirt when eating at the table.

3. Playing outside when it is nice weather.

1.Stay close don't run off public places
2.No back talk
3.Don't leave toys in the kitchen or the stairs
4.Put shoes in the bucket
5.Respect others verbally
6.No hitting each other
7.Please help me pick up your toys
8.Stay out of the fridge/cabinents need to ask to get something other than water
9.Please & Thank You's
10.Help others not just yourself

-People are more important than things.
-Do your best on all you do. Work gives dignity.
-Respect for other's things.
-No lying.
-Leave the room cleaner than when you walked in, even if it only putting one item away. I have a 14, 11, 8, and 2 year old. The two year old will always provide a mess to clean.
-No jeans for Church.
-Clean your room.
-No toys in my bedroom.

1.eating nutritional foods, I wont even let them eat if they dont attempt something beneficial. I will however let them eat the good foods they like and not make them eat foods they dont like. example, my oldest will eat raw salads and all fruits, my youngest likes cooked veggies and some fruit. I feel like a short order cook sometimes, but its worth it because they eat goos things and its their choice.

2.I will not be talked back to, lied to .My kids get everything they could ever want, but they dont get "away with" ANYTHING.

3. Fitness is important, we do many activities that involve burning calories and getting strong muscles, usually fun ones. my oldest has a bike, a barbie jeep, rollerskates, rollerblades, a scooter, we play frisbee, swim, and badminton. I plan on getting both children involved in something aerobic for their whole lives.

4.I expect effort at school

After reading some other answers, i wanted to say my kids totally jump all over the furniture!, lol, And i dont allow them to interrupt either....I let them engage in the conversation on my friends and i but they must wait their turn like everyone else!

Education, education, education.

I can't really think of anything, but I LOVE Theresa's answer. So I'll second it.

And Robin's is good too.

A lot of mine are the same as other people's: no interrupting others, respect others, treat people the way you want to be treated, etc. One I wanted to add is: NO WHINING! My husband and I do not tolerate whining at all. They are 8 and 6 and there is no reason for them to whine, especially when they are trying to get their way. If they whine, we get mad and tell them to ask again in their "big boy/girl" voice. If they keep whining, then they get a time-out in their room. That's a big pet peeve for me. :-)

not interupting a conversation. Saying "please" and "thank you". shoes off inside the house.

The hardest to teach is "wait your turn". It's not because she can't learn it.. she knows how to wait... but some other children we're around don't seem to be taught manners. There are may too many times my daughter will be waiting patiently for her turn and then when it's her turn some other kids rushes in infront of her. She looks back at me all confused and then cries. I then have to assure her she did nothing wrong and she's such a good girl for waiting patiently....that not all children know how to wait. It's so hard to reinforce good manners when others around you don't practice them. :(

I have a million, but as for the house, I have these: my kids are 3 and 6
1. Absolutely no food on the carpet (eat at the table or island or outside is fine too).
2. no playing on the furniture.
3. no correcting adults (we have a serious rule about language and negative words in our home, so the kids like to police our adult guest, I remind them not to).
4. You can play whatever you want, but if you take it out you put it back.
5. No one in the kitchen while mommy is cooking (unless invited to cook with me). I get stressed when kids are underfoot in the kitchen pestering for this or that, so I make them stay out and ask Daddy. I do enjoy cooking with them to though, so if we are doing it together its ok.

Well my twins are pretty young (will be 2 in about a week), but recently one of them hit me when they were mad that I wouldnt' let them play outside (it was raining) and I just thought I was not going to tolerate that at all. So I gave him my mad face and put him in time out. I think the face I made really affected him and he looked so sorry!

But I think that will be one big one that is a definite no-no with me.