What Should I Have Done?

Don't worry about it. I always bring stuff to keep my kid entertained and extra snacks. The extra snacks part is always cause as a kid I was the kid looking longingly at the kid next to me's snacks lol. It was nice that you did that.

ooohhhh man!!! I don't think it was rude at all!!! Baseball games are expensive!!! i bring my own snacks too!!!

When my boys were younger - I would let them bring in their games as well - drove my husband IN SANE - said he didn't pay $200 to have them come to the park and play their game (DS or Leapster!!) I get that - but seriously - I had to stick up for my kids - baseball CAN be a slow moving game at times.

As to the other parents - they said THANK YOU - you handled it just right!!!

If I was the other parent - I think I would've been thankful to the other parent(s) and maybe bought them a beer when the beer guy came by as a way of thanks...but that's me. A simple thank you suffices!!

Maybe they couldn't afford to buy stuff there and unlike you they didn't think to bring anything. I probably would not have thought about it either. The next time you see them (if you remember them) you may see that they have toys and snacks with them and that they may truly have been appreciative of you sharing and giving them the idea. I think you are fine and a generous person too. Don't worry about it.

I think your husband was overreacting and you did the right thing and I"m sure the other Mom was very appreciative too!!

Hi S.,

I don't why your fiance would even go to that conclusion. I thought it was sweet of you and would have done the same thing. I don't think the other mom was upset at all. Maybe she would have brought snacks but was running late OR maybe she didn't have time to go to the grocery store to pick them up OR maybe she told the kids to pack the snacks and they didn't OR maybe she simply didn't think of it. Nobody these days are made of money....

Continue to be generous. It's a lost art these days!

M.

I think you were modeling good behavior for your children by sharing what you had. And I think your fiance is overthinking this. Once we took DD (almost 3 at the time) to a baseball game and a little girl sitting near us (she looked about 6) had a bunch of Silly Bandz and shared them with DD, who got a big kick out of playing with them (and allowed both of us to actually watch the game for a while instead of one of us walking her around!). I was grateful for this little girls' generosity and didn't feel bad that I didn't have Silly Bandz of our own for DD to play with - seriously, I can't think of everything. And I know that even if I brought snacks or toys for DD to a game, she would find whatever else someone else had more desirable.

So I think what you did was fine - your fiance needs to get a grip.

You did fine. I don't know what your husband is going on about.

Youdid the right thing. Over time you will be on both sides of the "snack & toy" equation!

you know, seriously, there are times when men just don't get it!

Kudos to you for being a well-prepared, well-mannered Mom! You handled the situation exactly perfect!

This is not a case of trying to impress....this is purely a moment of Good Mom doing a Good Job!

I would have done exactly what you did.

I took toys with us if we were going somewhere that I figured my daughter might get bored. If I had enough snacks to share and other kids were looking longingly at them, I asked the other kids' parents if it was ok for them to have some.

I would have done exactly what you did. You cared for your son by bringing snacks and toys, and you were generous and showed your son how to share with another little boy. As for making the other family feel back? Perhaps they wished they had thought to bring stuff like you did, but that's ok. Imagine if you hadn't shared and they had to deal with a whiny little boy who was hungry and jealous of the kid sitting next to him?

I think what you did was great but did you ask the other parents if their kids could have the snack first? It drives me crazy when people offer my kids snacks without asking me first. If my kids snack then they won't eat lunch or dinner. But if someone offers my kids a snack before asking me if it okay I feel bad telling my kids they can't have them so I always give in.

I'm not sure I even understand why your fiance would think that. It's a ballgame -people bring all sorts of different things in. You and your son shared some snacks -big deal! It was really nice of you, but I've been on both sides of that -having a lot of snacks and toys at a playground or game or something that wound up being shared by other kids who didn't bring anything, and I've also been the mom with the kids who didn't bring anything to certain places, but my kids wound up eating other kid's snacks or playing with their toys. It has nothing to do with money-just that everyone doesn't always bring stuff to every event. I've certainly never felt bad when a family who came prepared offered to share with us when we weren't prepared. I've shared plenty of times as well. This seems to me to be a great example of how we've become FAR too sensitive about everything in our society. Don't let your bubble be popped -you were nice! Who cares what the other mom thought? I have a feeling she didn't feel bad though!

you did that right thing. not everyone is the same and think of the little things, if i were the other parent i would have thanked you (yeah maybe i would have felt bad) but kindness is what makes the world go around. and next time i would have did the same

.

You did nothing wrong. In fact, you are generous and caring to share snacks. Most moms around here do NOT share snacks.

S., I think what you did was wonderful! You obviously have a kind heart and you set a good example for your son and the mom seemed to be okay with it.

We need more people like you in this world... Mimi is right, generosity is a lost art these days!

You could drive yourself crazy worrying about other people's feelings about the way you take care of your kid(s). Focus on your child, hope they focus on theirs and be happy you know you are doing what is best for yours. We always share if we have enough and I never feel guilty or worry that the other parents can't afford to bring snacks for their kids, kind of a big assumption to make about someone anyhow. They may just not have thought about it or been in a hurry, all kinds of reasons. Kind of strange your fiance was so concerned about their feelings rather than seeing yours and your son's generosity.

Bah!!! I think you were very nice, I would have done the same, and would have been grateful and made a mental note to be better prepared if I were her. This happened to me (I was the other mom) once! I had never been to a parade as a mom, and had never been to the downtown parade in Ft Worth so I didnt know what to expect. I was happy to go, we were excited, we got there early like we were supposed to so we could get close enough to see. We had a thermos of cocoa and a diaperbag, aren't we smart? But then we were like "Dude. We're gonna be stuck here for 2 hours". No biggy, we're excited to see the parade. But then the lady next to us pulled out a blanket for her kids to sit on, and had a big monster thing of chicken nuggets and juice, lawn chairs (we didn't think about chairs---my only real parade experiences were as a young adult at Mardi Gras every year, lol). I just kinda looked over at my husband like "we suck" and smiled. She must have seen that and asked if our son (who we were holding) could sit on the blanket and have some nuggets. We felt a little sheepish, but a lot grateful. 3 years later, I totally remember that incident! We said thanks but didn't really talk too much....but we pack better now, and wouldn't hesitate to help someone out if we were able.

Don't even worry about your actions! I think what you did was wonderful. There's nothing worse then watching a baseball game and having 'little ones' being bored...whether they're yours or someone else. I'm sure the other children loved it. I believe you thought ahead and was a very responsible parent to anticipate what your child might need during this time. It sounds like it was a calm family time and you might have been able to watch some of the game, too. You may find that at the next ball game the other families might bring some snacks and toys, too. Some parents don't think ahead, don't mind that their child is bothering others because they're bored or maybe they just forgot to bring something for their child. I'm not sure why fiancee thought your actions needed to be reprimanded. Hhmm...sounds like it's his problem.

Good for you. I always think people who do what you did are so loving and generous. I have never thought anything negative about the people who bring stuff to share; however, I have thought "shame on me" for not being one of those people and have been motivated to be "that" person next time!!

You were fine. Your fiance is over-thinking things. If the other family felt embarrassed or badly then they wouldn't have switched seats for the kids to play together and they wouldn't have allowed their kids to have accepted the snacks.

You did nothing wrong. You're teaching your son to be generous and share and make friends.
I've been on the other side of the situation (the parents of the recipients). I feel a bit embarrassed sometimes, wondering if I'm taking advantage of someone else, but also grateful that they are so generous. And, I want to pay it forward, so I will try to be the giver the next time. It helps everybody.

I would have done the exact same thing as you and not thought anything of it. If I was the other parent, I would have said Thank You and made a mental note to bring snacks and toys the next time I went to a game - which I wouild have freely shared with any other children.

I dont think this is a big deal at all.

My husband sometimes comes up with hair-brained ideas like that. Ignore it and go with your mother's instinct.

You did what any other mother would have done. I'm sure they greatly appreciated your generosity.

I am the same way when it comes to sharing out in public. I've had other mothers share with my children out in public as well. I have never had negative feelings about this as I would only want others to treat my children kindly and respectfully as I have taught my children to treat others. I just makes me happy to see that I'm not the only one out there that is so willing to give.
I'm sure the other mother was not offended in any way and very appreciative of an other family sharing with hers.

If it were me, I wouldn't have been offended. I might have felt stupid, for not bringing my own kids a snack or toys, but not offended. You did the right thing. We have been in many of these situations (on both sides). There are times I have been the one to bring stuff and am more than happy to share - since I have also been on the other side and have forgotten or had been too rushed to grab anything.
I would have to agree with another poster, who said it is appreciated when someone asks, first. I have found on several occasions, that there are people all over - giving my toddler candy and snacks. By the time I realize how much everyone and their dog has given her, I'm fearful of a sugar coma!!! These events are a lot of fun, but can be like walking through a land mine, trying to monitor all that my kids(toddler) is taking in. There are so many wonderful and well-meaning parents and kids willing to help watch my toddler, so that I can catch any part of the game. But, at the same time, she gets a lot of stuff I wouldn't have normally given her. I have to be grateful, but it still gets a little much. Wow, this turned into my little vent, didn't it. LOL! Keep bringing snacks and sharing- unless it gets to be only YOU doing all the sharing and you are spending $$$ feeding the whole team's kids! :)

I think you did the right thing and I bet that mom was grateful they had a good spot on the bleachers. She'll probably bring snacks and toys next time herself... something she might not have thought of till she met you :)

I think it's really sweet. I think it's rude to eat and not share too so good on you for sharing your snacks and the toys. Maybe she just felt guilty that she forgot snacks or didn't think to bring toys. I have days where I forget my daughter's sippy or forget to bring some toys and end up thinking "doh" in my head. I wouldn't worry about it. Next time try to push it out of your head and bring snacks and toys like you always do and share them and just talk to her about the weather or how cute the boys or girls (I didn't know who's game it was) look playing baseball... strike up some conversation so she knows your not trying to make her look bad your just being friendly.

It was a nice gesture! I don't see how you made them feel bad. They were probably happy their kids found someone to play with.

Your fiance sounds like he may have some issues. You did exactly the right thing--what a wonderful lesson in sharing for your son! Blow this off but I'd think twice about marrying this guy if he says things often that are critical or make you feel bad.

I think you did a very nice gesture, yesterday was my kid game and I didn't bring any snacks, we were going to eat after the game but the game before last a lot longer then what we expect we didn't bring any snacks, I wouldn't had be offended at all if somebody would have offered,the game last longer and we were not planing to stay there for long.
I do agree with the others, if the kids were small I would have ask before, but in my case my daughter is a teen and not allergy. I trust her to don't eat too much candy, I am the one that can't be trust with candy, lol.

I don't see how sharing your toys and snacks would make anyone feel bad! By sharing, you were setting a good example for your son as well as everyone around you about how we should treat each other. Sharing also creates a sense of community which is beneficial for everyone. You may have given others some good ideas about how to help entertain their kiddos at events like that. Kudos to you and keep up the good work! :)

you totally did the right thing. I can't imagine where your fiance got this idea. I think that's just plain puzzling. I am sure the other Mom appreciated and and the kids too! You are paying it forward - maybe she will be the one prepared next time and share with a strangers kids!

YOu did the right thing. The only feeling bad on the other side is that she wasn't better prepared. She'll know next time.

I think your fiance over-analyzed the situation. You did a neighborly and quite frankly the most cordial response by sharing and having your son make new friends.
Good Job!!

If another child wants snacks for me, I always look at the mom and says, "Is it okay if your child has this?"

You never know, the child could have allergies or maybe not allowed to have certain things, like maybe they are about to go to lunch and don't want snack to ruin their appetite or whatever, or the child is grounded from sweets for the day.

I would just ask next time. As far as what your fiance said about showing the parents up or whatever, I think that's an odd thought and would have never crossed my mind. Don't worry about that. You are a caring person and it is refreshing to hear!

I dont' think you made the parents feel bad- if they were really that bad off- they wouldn't be at the game in the first place. I have also had my kids share with others and have had other kids share with my kids. It never makes me feel bad when someone else shares with my kids- it's nice that there are people out there willing to do that. So when we have something we share also. You did the right thing- you are teaching important lessons to your son by letting him share what he has with others that don't have anything.
~C.

The kids on my son's hockey team call me the "candy lady." I always have treats or snacks, and I always share. No one has EVER had a problem except for some of the progressive moms that try to limit sugar...and they know my "rep" ;). Another mom actually brings toys and coolers with stuff for her kids...and that gets passed around, too. It was smart of you to be so organized...and wonderful of you to share!!! There is not one person who was jealous or upset with you being so organized! They were sitting back, watching the game, and thanking their lucky stars that you kept their kids occupied.

I would bet you are "gifted" in the category of hospitality. I have a friend who also is. There was a while that it made me frustrated and jealous and that is probably what's happening with your fiancé and his family. He needs to appreciate your gift and hop on board because you are not going to change and would be so depressed if you did. His life would be devalued if he decided he could not live with it. Someone that loves you needs to support you. On the other hand, someone who is gifted can to put too much value one one aspect of life. Be sure you value him and encouraged him in his own pursuits.

I would have done exactly the same things for the same reasons. I wouldn't worry about it! You set a great example.

I think you acted perfectly appropriately. If someone feels bad simply because you have more than they do, that is a problem they need to deal with, not you. If you had a condescending attitude, that's a different story, but you didn't. And I'm speaking as someone who would probably be in the shoes of the other family if you and I were to cross paths. We have 4 kids and 1 income and our kids don't have the greatest toys or prepared snacks very often. If I had been that other mom sitting there, I would have appreciated your generosity in sharing the snacks so my kids wouldn't feel left out (but I would have also understood if you only brought snacks for your child). I hope your son did have a good time making new friends!

I think you did fine. The only thing I would have done is make sure the other parents were okay with the snacks - a lot of kids have food allergies these days. However, if they were watching you, they would have jumped in if there was a problem.

Yeay for modeling generosity and sharing for your children!

I have to say, tho, that I too appreciate being asked about the food that's being shared. Our family tries to stay away from certain bad foods (high fructose corn syrup) that some other families might be less concerned about because our son has a reaction to intense sweets. :(

When we go out to the pub on the weekend afternoons, my son always brings a few toys. There's a little girl there we see all the time (she brings her DS), and when she sees us, the DS gets ditched for whatever matchbox-sized construction vehicles we've brought. We now bring four of them, so they each have two. We also stock some other things he likes to play with alone, but when she's there, we share.

I would have done the exact same thing. It doesn't cost extra to be nice! So I always try to be nice. Everybody would have felt worse if you and your son hadn't shared, including you!

You did good. I would have done the same thing. There were times when I had snacks for my child and other childern were around so I shared with them, but I always ask the parents if its alright first. There were also times when I didnt have for my child and another parent would share with him. I would just tell them thankyou.

I always bring more snacks than my daughter can possibly eat so that she can share. She really enjoys sharing and I think it sends a good message to her (she is 7). She usually remembers to ask the other kids' parents if she doesn't know them well (in case of food allergies, etc). She participates in a particular sport 3 or 4 times a week and the kids have become a large but tight-knit group. Passing around snacks is part of the fun. Other parents participate too. Sometimes it's spontaneous (3 dozen donuts walked in one early morning). Sometimes it's planned. What is wrong with sharing food?

I don't think you did anything wrong. You were being generous and setting a good example for your son. Sounds like your fiancé was uncomfortable for some reason. I've been on both sides (sharing and receiving) and the other family probably has, too. My boys could have just eaten a 5 course meal and then look longingly at someone else's bag of pretzels. Kids like snacks. I wouldn't assume that the parents couldn't afford them or that they were embarrassed.

Not sure why your fiance would be so overly sensitive all the time to what other people might think. Is there something in his past where he was put down for not having enough or something? I'd explore that with him a little bit.

Because what he's suggesting in regards to the baseball game is pretty illogical - should you have deprived your son of the snacks and toys you brought because there were other children there? That makes no sense!!!

You did the exact right thing. What you did wasn't to make the other mother feel bad, and I'm sure she didn't feel bad. What you did was gracious and friendly. Don't think too much into it...you are teaching your son to share and make friends and that is always wonderful.