What Is Your Best Advice?

Everyone tells you "sleep when the baby sleeps"...yeah I didn't do that the first few months and ended up regretting it. The dishes eventually will get done, or use paper products for the first few months. (not good for the environment but they just might keep you sane.)

And if anyone asks what they can do...give them something to do.

Go buy the book "On becoming baby wise" it's feeding schedule and lessons were invaluable.

Tips that I wish someone had told me: if the baby is sleeping all day and not at night......during the day play with the baby, make a big deal out of changing the diaper (playing with toes, singing a song....) talk to them, read to them anything active. BUT at night don't interact with them. If you have to change a diaper do it quickly and don't talk or sing to them. Keep the lights off or down low. Do everything quickly with the purpose of getting them back to sleep. They will soon learn that nights aren't any fun because you don't play or sing and that it is more fun to be awake at night.
The first 3 months are really labor intensive. Lots of changing, feeding and burping, but not a lot of pay back. If you can make it through till their first smile then all that work will become easier as they start to smile and "talk" to you when you are changing them and cuddling with them.
Good luck to your friend on her first.
J.--SAHM of 6

Things I learned:
Take lots of pictures
Set the schedule that works for both you and the baby, but be flexible.
Feed when the baby is hungry and rest when the baby is sleeping.
Let your husband help even if he does not do it perfect.
Ask advice, but do what feels right to you
Look into infant potty training, my babies and I LOVED IT
Love your baby and enjoy mommyhood, because the time will fly by faster than you can ever imagine.

I wish someone had told me that long before I would be potty training the child I would be potty training myself again.

What a thoughtful idea for your friend!
Best things I have learned (mom to a very happy 4 year old girl)
1. Don't stress the small stuff - if you are tired when the baby is tired - nap - do not stress over the cleanliness of your bathroom.
2. You and your hubby are partners in this production - it is not a burden to ask for his help and while he thinks you are SuperWoman - prove you are human and ask him for help.
Be the Team of Parents to raise this new wonderful baby you both created.

I know I'm a little late, but this is such a great request I wanted to add something.

I wish someone had told me how difficult breast feeding can be. I know there are alot of moms who find it very natural and take to it easily, but I was not one of them. I had a c-section and that pain on top of the pain of learning to breast feed and the pain of being engorged was way more than I was prepared for. Even if it had scared me I wish someone had said "it's very painful, it's hard to figure out and it's hard for your baby to figure out too." If someone had given me the "nitty gritty" I think I would have had a much better experience. I am pregnant with my second and am hoping that preparation will make this breast feeding experience a much better one. Good Luck to your friend. I think you're doing a wonderful thing!

What a good, practical idea for a gift. I bet your friend will love it.

One of the most important things I learned was not to tip-toe around and be quiet when the baby was asleep. Both my kids slept through vacuuming, TV, dogs barking, etc. and I think it helped them be sound sleepers as they got older.

One thing that I wish someone had told me was to feed the baby as much at night as you do during the day. That way they are full and may sleep longer. With my first little one, I would just feed her until she went back to sleep and then regretfully be up in about a half an hour or so to feed her again. After several nights of this routine, and being a new Mommy, I broke down to my grandmother-in-law and told her what was happening and that I couldn't handle it. She told me to keep the baby awake however I needed to to let her eat the same amount she did during the day. So I would feed her until she was going to sleep and then change her, then feed her some more, then wipe off her face with a wipe, then feed her more, etc. This advice saved my life literally!!

The best advice that we were given is "DON'T tiptoe around when the baby is sleeping." If you go out of your way to be as quiet as possible when they nap, they become conditioned to only sleep when it's silent. On the other hand, if you continue your regular activities through nap time and after they go down for bed, they learn to sleep through anything!

Here are the two pieces of advice that I give everybody:

1. Ask for the epidural when the pain is strong, but before it's excruciating. It can easily take 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist to come to your room if he's working on other pregnant women. The pain gets worse REALLY FAST.

2. Little girls can't crawl in dresses. Don't buy a lot of dresses for the six-12 month stage. That's just cruel, watching their knees get stuck in the hem and hitting their face on the floor.

The best thing in the world is to sit and watch this little being that you created...There's not much else to do with them! Ha!

I wish I had known that I was going to bleed for 5 weeks after my first kid to make up for 9 months of missed periods. Only to have my period start up again 2 weeks later. Breastfeeding full time doesn't guarantee that you won't have your period. Also, breastfeeding isn't a form of birth control - you can still be ovulating even without your periods (my friend just got pregnant 3 months after having a baby).

Don't read the baby books, use them as reference only, they only make you feel like something is wrong.
Babies are adaptable and you dont have to be the perfect mom so be kind to yourself, you will make many mistakes, but they will be fine as long as you give them love.
Take care of yourself too, an unhappy mama makes an unhappy house. Also remember that daddies need attention too.
Babies from the start have their own personality.
Babies sometimes just cry and colic will go away.
Always keep something covering them as you do a diaper change because even a girl can pee on you as you change them.
Do what is best for you and your family ( breast feed, bottle feed, co sleep, no co sleep, ect) no one has the right to make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing.

Good luck to your friend

I've learned the importance of non-attachment - non-attachment to all things difficult as well as all things sublimely simple and wonderful, as they all are in continual motion, shifting and re-shifting, again and again.

I've learned the importance of putting my agenda aside in order to tend to the tiny being I brought into the world - and that attention to my agenda will return sometime in its own time.

I've learned that a "natural childbirth" for a woman and baby who desire this and who have no medical emergencies is a incredibly joyful, empowering, orgasmic (literally) and completely transformational experience.

Love to the babies!

Start a schedule!!! When I had my first I didn't know anything about babies - and he was a terrible sleeper since I never did anything by routine - just spur of the moment feeding, sleeping,etc. Vowed it would be different with number 2 - started a eat, play, sleep schedule right away - and at just under 9 weeks she sleeps through the night and is a VERY sweet little girl! Most important - enjoy them - the time goes too fast!

Trust your instincts. You will learn their crys and what could be the matter, chances are you spend the most time with the little one and you know them the best. If you think something is wrong, call your Dr's office. The nurses are there to help you. They understand first time parents and can offer good advice, but above all trust your gut.

Make time for hugging and laughing. These two things can turn a terrible day around. Even if it means you have to make funny faces and tickle your toddler, both of your moods will be better afterwards.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Parenting can be overwhelming. Make sure you have a support network to get you through. (This should include your spouse; but for him to be the best support for you, make sure you still have time for him:).

Pray. Ask for help outside of yourself. You will need it.

Take lots of pictures (and save them on more than just your hard drive, you don't want to loose everything if your computer crashes).

Enjoy every moment. Time passes too quickly!

I wish I had known that I would go from a D-cup to an E-cup in just a few hours when my milk came in!