M.M.
K.:
If your 4 y.o never acted up this way before...then trust your gut instinct.
I work in a child care center with pre-k children and I'm going to be very honest with you. My son is in the same situation as your 4 year old. He's acutally in the same room as I am teaching. I know my son doesn't act up or be disrespectful but since going into this day care his attitude has changed.
The reason for this....my son is a follower. And it's probably how your 4 year old is too. If he's well behaved at home and someone else in day care he is following the steps of other children in the day care. I have considered and am looking for other day care services because the classroom that I teach in have a lot of children with behavioral problems. Its sad to say since I am a teacher in that room, but 26 kids with half of them with behavioral problems and only 3 teachers is WAY TOO MUCH!! But $$ is all management see.
But to be on the "sure" side.....ask the director for the video of when incidents happens or in fact tell them you want to see the whole tape. They will try to talk you out of it but don't let them be persistent and tell them you want to see the whole thing to see how exactly something happened. Management will only try to protect themselves so if something fishy is going on.
But I think just by doing viewing the tapes you will find out if it's other kids, teachers or maybe your son is telling you the truth.
I would love to know how it all turns out.
Please keep in touch!