What Is a Good Kindergarten Classroom?

My child has a great teacher I must say, however, I her best friend had a rough time last year as well. They found that it was actually the assistant in the classroom that was the problem. My school has the same rules. You may need to request a different teacher. Talk to other moms in the area that have children a little older and get suggestions. Would love to know if you are in my school system. I can give you several teachers that are more patient and less strict. My Kindergartener also has homework but she has one sheet that is to completed by Friday. I am in Batesville, MS.

OK HUGE HUGE HUGE red flag..... the school doesnt want you to come in the class room bad bad bad... schools should be more than willing to share the learning experience with you. if she was uncomfortable with what she saw and the child is unhappy get out of there! also kids this age are never quiet all the time..... this teacher needs to get a grip!

T.-
I am a reading specialist in a public school and also a parent of a 5-year-old Kindergartener, so I can speak to both sides of this issue.
First, I would encourage your daughter to talk to the teacher. Set up a conference, and go in with an actual list of questions you have so that when you get nervous (as we all do with issues of concern) they'll be there for reference. Be direct. Ask questions such as, "What are the expectations during lessons? Do the children sit in a specific spot? How do they respond to questions (raising hands)? What is the behavior management plan? What can I do to reinforce expectations at home? Can we come up with a plan together that will help my daughter to better understand and follow the expectations?" Such a plan might actually be a daily or weekly paper that has pictures showing what's expected as a visual reminder for the child and areas for the teacher to indicate whether the expectations were met that day/week. This might have goals as simple as "I will raise my hand to speak in class."
Before your daughter goes in, have her think about what preschool was like last year. What were the expectations there? How did your granddaughter do with those expectations? That will give you a baseline before going in to the conference.
As a teacher who's worked with lots of different Kindergarten teachers, I'll tell you that each one has a different personality, and that personality drives how he/she sets up the classroom and what they expect of students. Some teachers can tolerate a high noise level while students work, and others want students to work more quietly. Some have strict rules about raising hands ALL the time, and others manage the class more loosely but it works well for them. So you guys just need to get a feel for how this teacher is, and next year you'll start this process again. One of the great things about school is that every year your child is exposed to a different teaching personality, which is preparation for working with lots of different people as an adult.
As far as the recess issue is concerned, I would worry about that. I'm not sure where you live, but in our state, it is state law that children receive at least 30 minutes of physical activity per day. Since we don't have PE every day, recess is used to fulfill the requirement, so teachers are not allowed to withhold recess.
Hopefully your daughter can get together with the teacher and develop a plan for helping everyone adjust to Kindergarten. Good luck!

Unfortunately, yes this is normal. Kindergarten is no longer the grade for socializing and teaching them to color between the lines. It is now what 1st grade us to be. If the daycare she went to was really relaxed and not very structured then I can see how she would have a difficult time adjusting. Teachers are pressured now to have the kids on a rigid schedule and to teach certain things. There is no longer any time for arts and crafts and free time. When I taught kindergarten we weren't aloud to do arts and crafts we had to follow a strict schedule reading and writing in the morning and math and science/social studies in the afternoon. Plus, with 20 some odd 5/6 yr olds in the class with possibly with no aide then structure is an absolute must. The older she gets the harder it will be if the talking isn't under control now. I guess just look at it as a rough lesson now to help her later. If you really feel uncomfortable with the situation you can always request a room change, but it still wouldn't address her interrupting and talking all the time. Good Luck.

Hi there,

I don't have time for a long answer, plus you've gotten many responses already :)

I am a teacher at a private school with very high standards. I am the art teacher but am familiar with the other classes. One thing I know for sure is that your child should be learning but also having FUN. At this age there should be a couple of recesses each day along with snack time and lunch time. There should be arts and crafts. There should be singing. Yes, your little one absolutely must learn to not talk constantly. As a teacher, I can tell you it is extremely frustrating to try to teach a group of children when there is one or two who are a constant distraction. But, hating school at this age is not good at all and will surely lead to bigger problems. If after meeting with the teacher and higher admin. and visiting the classroom for a more extended observation things still feel wrong, I would investigate a new option right away. good luck!

Woah woah woah, no matter WHAT their policies, your daughter has the right to observe at least once, and if she is not comfortable with it, she has the right to speak with the principal about it. Secondly, kept inside because she needs to "zip her lip"? That is wrong IMO If my sons or my daughter get into trouble for talking or getting out of their seat, or ot doing their work, they are still brought outside WITH the teacher, and they sit with the teacher instead of playing with the other children. Unfortunately the daily homework is quite typical nowadays, so nothing abnormal there. Good luck and God bless.

A neighbor's daughter is in 1st grade this year, but at this time last year, she had the SAME concerns! She's in a private school and the teacher seemed really cold, not a typical "kindergarten type," as we imagine a cheerful, energetic, young type of person to be a kindergarten teacher. The homework WAS outrageous, things I didn't do until 2nd grade when I was in school! The little girl said her teacher was mean, she was scared of her...Right around Christmas, things started to look up and by the end of the year, she was doing well, AND coincidentally, she was THRILLED to find out that this teacher was teaching 1st grade this year and is HER teacher once again. She does well, even though she does have a MATH tutor in FIRST GRADE, I can't even believe how cut-throat elementary school has become.
In any case, I think your daughter has a right to be as big a part of her daughter's education as she feels is necessary. Keep in mind, some teachers (especially older teachers) believe in the rule, "don't smile before Christmas" They make it a little tougher in the beginning to get the child into the habit of being able to sit quietly early on to ultimately make the rest of the year productive for the kids. If it were my child, I'd be requesting a meeting with the teacher, though. "zip the lip" is a little harsh and kids need the recess time. good luck to your family on this. It is becoming more and more common for parents to feel this way. :( sad, but true.

It doesn't sound good to me. Kindergarten teachers and kindergarten are usually very positive, very busy places. A rule of thumb for students of all ages is that they can listen to a lecture for the same amount of time as their age. Since your granddaughter is 5, a reasonable expectation is that she sits and listens for 5 minutes. I would be contacting the teacher with your concerns and ask for an immediate conference. If she/he does not give you the answers you expect, talk to the principal.

wow, non of that sits right with me. My daughter is in kindergarten and I can go in her classroom at ANY time, I could sit there all week if I wanted to so I'm not sure what's going on there. Now, if the school has experienced parents wanting to get into deep conversations and details about their child, etc with the teacher then this may be the reason for them not wanting parents in the classroom at pick up/drop off times. Anyhow, parent's should be informed that those times are not appropriate for conferences and parent/teacher conferences should be scheduled. Definately have your daughter set up a conference with the teacher and/or principal. How the teachers talk to the students and the appropriate punishment should be discussed too.

best of luck

I would definitely have a conference with the teacher. Actually she should be giving your daughter a conference as the semester is almost over. Also she should make appointments to come in and see the classroom. Maybe you or your daughter can go on the field trips or help in the class. THat being said I was not allowed in my 3rd or 4th child's kg classroom, here until I was fingerprinted and in VA the policy was no parents whatsoever in the classrooms.
If you try to work with the teacher and have a reward system at home, we used chocolate milk for smileys with my oldest, ask to have her transfered to another kg classroom. I didn't know enough when my eldest was sent to the suspended table at lunch for talking too loud. Now we have had 6 different school districts in 4 states and every principal knows who I am. Your daughter needs to be an advocate for the little one and if she feels something isn't right then she needs to step in. It's hard at first but she will get better at it.
Recess should never be taken away.
Homework should be 15 minutes or so in kg, like a math sheet or a handwriting sheet. And you should have to read to her every night and fill out a reading journal.
Good luck and stand your ground with the schools.

If a school doesn't like parents to enter when bringing children into school I'd be concerned about the whole school not just kindergarten. Parents need to be able to drop in at anytime to see what's going on. If your daughter feels uncomfortable about the atomsphere than your granddaughter should be taken out of the school. The school the we send our son encourages parent/guardian involvement and not just for field trips. My son is in 1st grade this year. He did get a few notes sent home last year regarding behavior. He never did in pre-k. Some children need to adjust to school. My son didn't like pre-k but absolutely loved kindergarten.

Good luck to you, your daughter and granddaughter.

Frankly, I don't like the feel of this school. And, I've been wrong whenever I haven't followed my gut feeling.
Is changing teachers or schools an option?
Is it possible for you or your daughter to volunteer in the school to get a better feel for the teacher or the school? What school doesn't like having volunteers come in to read to the classroom or help tutor arithmetic?
Good luck!

HI T.,

I haven't read all your responses so I apologize if I'm repeating anything that has already been mentioned.

As a former educator and now a parent I would have some serious issues with the fact that parents aren't welcome at the school. That is a HUGE RED FLAG for me!!! I have 2 in school now, my 5y/o just started kindergarten. Parents are encouraged and welcome to come into the classroom, have lunch, volunteer, and read to the students, etc any time. I have dropped in on both my children's classrooms on occassion(to observe) and have never felt unwelcomed!

Is your grand daughter a young 5? This could very well be why she is struggling. If she is a young 5, I would strongly consider withdrawing her from school and re-enrolling her in preschool again. I was an older 5 when I started school and my nephew will be 6 when he starts kindergarten because he misses the cut off. It's not going to hurt her if she isn't in kindergarten when she's 5. This may give her the time to mature and you could all work on her listening skills. I would be concerned that she is talking so much and interrupting the teacher but I would also want to be sure that your grand daughter's needs are being met.

If your daughter is feeling uncomfortable for tension while she's there visiting what is it like for the students during the day? I would also be concerned with your grand daugther telling you she needed to ZIP HER LIP...Do you or your daugther talk to her like that? If not, this is how the teacher is talking to her in the classroom. As a former educator there are more appropriate ways for her to ask your daugther to stop talking. She's 5 and loss of recess shouldn't be a consequence. There are some students that need to get out and burn off that extra energy.

If I were you, I would start by observing in the classroom again, talking to the teacher and possibly the assistant principal/principal about no parents welcome and any other concerns you may have. Encourage your daughter to listen to her inner self. Be open to the fact that your grand daugther may just not be ready for such a rigid stucture. As a former kindergarten teacher I feel one needs to be flexible and you can still have clear expectations and boundaries.

Good luck to you.

Peace,
J.

From what you've said, that kindergarten doesn't sound very kid-friendly. I had a kindergarten teacher like that back in the early 60s, and I've never forgotten it.

I would suggest that your daughter talk to other mothers and "shop around" for a different school. This one seems to be high on toughness and, probably, strict academic achievement. It sounds like your granddaughter needs a school that lets kids be kids, to a reasonable extent. Since your daughter is getting ready to move, she should definitely consider the schools in the area and move where her daughter can get the best education.

A good kindergarten should be a mix of play of learning, and learning through play. The teacher should be very child-oriented, the kind of person who was born to teach and loves to be with the children. She should be gentle and understanding. (My sister, who has since left teaching, was that kind of teacher. She always loved children, even when she was barely a child herself.) And the room should have many opportunities for the kids to learn and explore in a safe environment.

Hi, T.. I just skimmed over the other responses, but didn't read them all word-for-word. I gotta tell you that I agree with the general census that the school is not really exhibiting 'acceptable' policies or procedures for your granddaughter. My number one thought is that a school should never have an issue with a parent going in. What is going on there that a parent may not approve of? I am sure it is just to cut down on the chaos, but you should never be told that you cannot accompany your child/grandchild into the school. Ever. End of story.
Also, the homework issue-it sounds like she gets too much too often. Thirdly, children that young should have time to be outside or at some type of recess. I cannot imagine a school that does not do their best to nurture their students. I mean-isn't there ONE administrator or teacher that cares about the well-being of these children? I am not a teacher and I only have one child that has been through school so far (I have a 16-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl; My daughter starts school next year, and my son is a sophomore), so my opinion is strictly that of a mother. I have never seen a school treating its students that way and having a very good success rate for their students.

"Zip Her Lip"?!? For some reason that offends me. Maybe I am just too overprotective of my children, but that sounds kinda mean and harsh.

If that were my daughter/granddaugter I would be concerned for her love of academics as well, but I am not sure what I would do about it. I agree with you, if that helps.

Best of luck!

It sounds like it would be appropriate to setup a parent-teacher conference. Most kindergardeners are happy and love to go to school. It wouldn't hurt to offer to "volunteer" for a day or go observe the classroom for a day. It sounds like that may be discouraged though. That would concern me as well. If it is discouraged, why? Most schools are so short-handed that they welcome volunteers in the classroom.

I hope you find a resolution to this matter so your granddaughter can have an enjoyable school year.

1. Where I live, we can choose what school our child attends as long as there is space in the school we choose and if we take them to the school we have chosen, since if it is not the one the bus would take them to. You might look into that if you or your daughter is available to take her and pick her up. Ask around about what schools are best in your area, visit them and even meet with the teachers of your top 2 if you can't pick by observing.

2. Having said that, I am a teacher and do understand that children do have to listen to be able to learn and to allow other children to learn. You may not be in a better situation if she moves to another school if the problem is with her. If the problem is with the teacher being too rigid, she'd do better with a teacher who understood her need to communicate lots. But if she really is disrupting, she'll not necessarily benefit from changing schools.

Either way, assure her you love her. Try some charts at home and each day she is able to listen well and not be disciplined at school for talking when she should not, give her a sticker. When she gets to whatever number you choose, say 5, let her do something special with you or you daughter as a reward. (ie- McDonald's playland, children's museum, etc.)

You're sweet to be a concerned gramma! I have one first grader and one 2nd grader, so I'm very fresh off the kindergarten scene. It sounds like she's bright and outgoing, but she's having a few issues getting those positives in check and quite often turning them into negatives in a controlled setting. Just remember, this is good for her! The faster she learns to control those things, the better off she will be in every situation. As for rigid, as you can imagine with 25 K'ers, there must be structure and consequences, so some rigid just must be. A talker can distract the entire class (I know, I have three!). It sounds as if she were punished for over talking one day and couldn't go to recess, which will make her quickly learn about the consequences (I don't like the 'zip lip' reference, I hope they made the motion and didn't use those words). Just be proactive and work with her at home on those bad checks that she gets. It's all for her benefit in the grand scheme of life. Preschool is very coddling and motherly, but K is more structure and learning. The homework (which is pretty light) is just a little prep for what is coming ahead. What school is this? I'm not saying they may not be doing something wrong, but if they do not take control, as well as challenge the children, everyone sacrifices in the short and long run. My girls know the rules now and work for the rewards (and despise the consequences), so I know they're learning the right things! Good luck, it's not hard for mom (or gramma) to transition to kindergarten! : ) (PS some schools discourage parents coming in/out during drop/pick because of safety reasons with carpool, parking lot, etc, but if they discourage parents coming in at ANY OTHER TIME, I would question the school)

I have had 2 of my children complete Kindergarten and currently have my youngest in Kindergarten. I can tell you from experience that they have had wonderful Kindergarten experiences and have had teachers who offered open communication. My daughter who is in Kindergarten does have homework every night, but it is simple and usually lots of fun for both of us. If they have a bad Kindergarten experience, it will effect how they feel about school. I would suggest emailing or talking to the teacher! If you are not satisfied with the response or outcome, I would have my child moved to another classroom with a better experienced teacher. Most of the teachers love teaching and are dedicated to their students, but unfortunately there are some whi just want the paycheck. The teachers at my children's school do the card system. They get a green card if they have a good day, yellow card if they get in trouble, and then a red card if it is really bad. Usually a note will come home telling the reason why. In my experience, they have only took recess away when they are really bad. If there has not been any communication from the teacher or "warnings", I would definetly have a "little chat" with the teacher!!! Children at that age can not be expected to "sit and be quiet" for hours!

I'll weigh in if I may---
Your daughter is going to have to reinforce the idea of waiting her turn to talk at home with your granddaughter. This is necessary no matter what kindergarten class you go to. It's cute and fun to hear her chatter all day long, I know, but in school, she needs to be respecting others and her teachers by learning some 'self-control' for a lack of better words. If it were MY daughter (also first year in kg) I would be having some sit-downs with my child about her talking too much. There would be repercusions for notes sent home.
HOWEVER, with that being said, I also would not tolerate a teacher sitting my child inside from recess and stating TO MY CHILD that she needed to 'zip her lip.' Like others have said, recess is important NOT just for physical activity purposes, but also to expell of extra energy so that she may BE better focused in the classroom. So, I would call the teacher regarding that one.
Lastly, I think I understand the teachers when they ask parents not to come in when the children are beginning and ending the day. These times are chaotic and require all attention on the teachers in the classrooms and the structure that THEY provide (too many cooks in the kitchen idea). I avoid going in during these times. BUT, I DO go in in the middle of the day on a weekly basis to help with the classroom. It sounds like from what I read that your daughter has only explored the possibility of beginning/end of the day visits...could she try to volunteer for a middle-of-the-day a week helping with a specific activity the kids do on a regular basis?
Look, I hope you understand I am not placing judgement on the opinions you have placed forth. I also have expressed concern for some specifics in my daughters current kindgergarten class. I encourage your daughter to contact her child's teacher either by email and or telephone to get down to the bottom of what is to be expected, and where your grandbaby is falling short.
Concerns are to be expected from only the most loving of parents/grandparents!

Let me first say that this is MY personal opinion and T. is asking for opinions. My comment is not intended to offend anyone or bash public or private schools ( I have a grown son who is 19 who went to both public and private schools, we are just choosing something that is the BEST for MY family.
So just to be clear, I respect your opinion so I expect the same in return.
Thank you~

T., OH NO! My heart is so heavy for your little granddaughter ((HUGS))
It sounds like Homeschooling would be a great option for you and or your granddaughter. If you want to find out more please PM me.

It is quite apparent that your granddaughter will HATE school by the end of Kindergarten. The teacher in a classroom has to implement certain rules to maintain control in the classroom BUT my goodness!! She shouldn't be telling your little granddaughter that zip her lip!

I have always been a 'talkative' person and I remember all to well way back then (early 70's) that I had to stand in a corner with masking tape over my mouth... I remember that and I am 43 yrs old. I know I talk a lot but if things don't change I am concerned for your granddaughters self esteem. Being punished for talking can make her withdrawn, unsocial and that is now, what about what happens as a result when she is a preteen or teenager?

I know you are in WV and I am in KY but please don't hesitate to research homeschooling you can do it!
Each state has their own requirements but seriously anyone can do it! It doesn't take 7 hrs in a day to 'educate' a child. Plus it will allow you to build that self esteem back up and see her flourish and possible pass up her own classmates since she will be getting one on one attention.

I have a DD who is 5... should be in K but.... because of the one on one, she is doing first grade. I do not push BUT I do allow her to go at her own pace, I just got to keep up with her! LOL

Today's schools aren't all they seem, the teachers are over worked and many lack the patience to deal with ALL the children all day. Many children have behavior issues and it just seems to tire out the teacher.

Bring her home where she belongs, your love and concern will help grow your granddaughter into a fine young lady.

Of course this is just an option... you need to do what is best for you and your family.

T.,what a relief to know I am not alone in my concern for my 5 yr old daughter's Kindergarten experience.We are,after all,referring to 5 year olds!!I am growing more frustrated every day.
I was under the impression that all Kindergarten classes were evolving this way.Unfortunately for us,that's not the case.Across this country,are Kindergarten curriculums that encourage childrens' imaginations.Homework is considered inappropriate for the age group and discipline is instilled through positive reinforcement.Provided is an environment in which children can only enhance their individual qualities.Rather than preparing the students for future years of state required testing,they are helping each child to discover how they think and process information,which will better prepare them.
It all sounds a bit too good to be true,but it is,and unfair that because of geography and so many of our school boards' lack of knowledge,that we and our loved ones have to submit to a less than satisfactory Kindergarten experience.
At 5 years old,our children deserve to be happy.I hope that with your encouragement,your daughter and grandchild can overcome these obstacles they are facing and make the best of it.Best wishes to you!

I am a Nana also and the schools just amaze me. The things they are trying to put in kindergarten and first graders heads is above me. My granddaughter is 6 and in first grade. The first night she came home from 1st grade she had a list of 50 sight word and had two weeks to learn them. My granddaughter is shy and quiet and the teachers say they never have a problem with her behavior but I know they have very rigid rules about behavior. I know times have changed but kids need to have time to be kids. All we hear is no child left behind, well in my opinion, children will continue to be left behind if teachers send all of the work home at night because some parents will not to it, some can't, and some have to work to put food on the table. I hate the homework. When they get home it is like spending another hour or so at school. They need to breathe. I can see where the rigidness and the homework would make children not want to go to school. My granddaughter goes to the best school in our county and I know they are doing state regulations but we are always invited to observe, participate, assist and go on field trips, etc. If that were not possible I would suspect they had something to hide. Maybe you should check out other schools in your area. You can't just move her every time something goes wrong but you can research and see if this kindergarten is comparable to the rest. Good luck!

Not every child is ready to start school at age 5. While many children are bright enough and have no problems with the accomplishing the work, some are just not mature enough. If the child has a late summer birthday, she may be the youngest child in class. If your grandchild's mother feels that the child is just not ready, have her consider pulling her out and trying again next year. Or she can keep with it and have her repeat kindergarten if she doesn't improve during the school year. Some children repeat and tend to be very successful the next year. I have also seen moms pull their child and start again next year. I have only seen positive results in both of these instances.
It could just be an adjustment period that the child will eventually be able to settle into the routine of school. Talk with the teacher and ask her opinion (after all she has been trained in this and does have experience).

Your daughter should definitely set up a conference with the teacher and then with the principal if necessary to discuss her concerns. Our school system also has very strict policies against parents or any adult who is not an employee being on campus during school hours. THis is for both the children's safety and to keep distractions to a minimum. My oldest starts kindergarten next year but I'm familiar with policies and practices through my nephew. In kindergarten he had a conduct sheet in his cubby. It actually consisted of 3 colored pieces of paper. The green one meant that he was behaving well, the yellow one was a warning, and the red one meant that he hadn't behaved well, i.e. talking too much or not listening to the teacher. These change throughout the day as needed. At the end of the day the color was recorded. At the end of the week he brought home a summary of his conduct. Although my sister always asked him what color he had each day so she knew before she had the weekly sheet. As far as I know there was know further punishment like missing recess, just the report home so the parents could address the issue. My nephew is a quiet kid so this was never a problem for him. My best friend's son is in a neighboring school system but last year his kindergarten teacher did something similar. He is a very hyper child and took him a while to settle down at school. He had bad conduct reports nearly every day. They had a few meetings with the teacher during the year and talked to him a lot about how to behave at school. They finally institued a reward system to motivate him. This year I know he gets to pick some place to eat out on Friday night, usually Chic Fi La, if he has good conduct all week long. In their case though they knew the problem was on his part and not an unfair teacher.
Teachers have many kids they have to control and they just can't allow a child to continue to disrupt the class. If there's say 20 kids in the class, there's probably more than one that's a talker. Imagine how hard it is to teach that many children anything while constantly having to correct Johnny and Suzie for talking instead of listening. I'm not defending the teacher, go with your gut about the fairness of her treatment, but if you know that your granddaughter does love to talk than the teacher is probable not entirely wrong. How she is responding to the problem may be wrong though. So set up a meeting and discuss what both parent and teacher can do to fix the problem.

This probably isn't what you want to hear... I'm sure your granddaughter is wonderful, but school is a place for learning, not for constant talking. Have you ever talked to people who have been homeschooled? Virtually everyone I know who has been homeschooled talks way too much; it's socially awkward around them because they just can't seem to stop talking (even as adults). They have a stream of consciousness where they say everything that comes to their head, and most of it is drivel, and no one else can get a word in edgewise. I don't mean to offend everyone here, but I have noticed this. My theory is that they didn't ever have to "zip it" in the classroom, so they never learned the social cues of proper conversation. There's nothing wrong with homeschooling as long as they are taught everything and socialized.

Anyway, your daughter is used to talking nonstop, which is ok - outside of the classroom. What teacher (if you changed classes or schools) is going to allow her to talk all day at school? That's not what school is for. She can talk with you and her mother all morning and evening and weekend and summer - at home. School is for learning, and she is not the only child there. They all need to learn, and how could they if one or all of the children are talking all day? It is going to be an adjustment period for her, of course, and it may be taking her some time to learn when it is and isn't appropriate in that setting. She is no longer the center of attention, and she needs to learn that. There's nothing wrong with that; it's a fact of life. People who don't learn that end up being self destructive as they spend their lives constantly seeking attention.

Also, parental attitude has more influence on young children than anything. If you and her mother talk about what a nasty teacher she has and how awful it is that she doesn't get to talk all day at school, then she'll have a bad attitude about it. We've always been very positive with our now first grader about school, and he loves it and takes it seriously and is doing great. When he does have a minor issue (behavior, academic, etc.), we discuss it and then move on, and it is a learning lesson for him. We told him when he started kindergarten last year that just as Daddy's job is to go to work, his job is to go to school and be good. He took that very seriously, and is actually much better behaved at school than he is at home.

There is no better teacher than experience. You might explain to your granddaughter that she's free to talk before and after school, but school is a place for learning and listening, and she can't do either if she's talking.

Hi T.,

I'm a former elementary teacher and a mom of 4 now (12, 11, 8, and 5.) Yes, Kindergarten has changed but what you are describing is not acceptable. This is a critical time for your grand daughter b/c she is going to either learn to love or hate school. This could just be a reflection of the teacher and not the school. The school might not be aware of what's going on especially if this is a fairly new teacher to the school. I know it's hard to make waves with someone or someplace that cares for your child but I'd address the issue. Start with the teacher though. If you don't get anywhere with her then go to the principle. Good luck!

What you describe would concern me as well. My daughter also just started K and it is nothing like what you describe. She gets a weekly homework page and we have one week to complete it. It is a very social atmosphere, with lots of schedule changes during the day to keep their attention. Yes, they do paper "work" but they also sing a lot of songs, have art, PE, music, and computer class. They have centers at the end of the day which is just play time (not a lot, but it is there). And yes, one short half-hour of recess, but that is all I got as a child 20 years ago in first grade, too (my K was only half-day).

I would be very concerned and look around to see what other schools/classes do. By the way, what I am describing is for a very good school, I live in the best school district in TN. I would be livid if the teacher took away recess for a girl who is overactive anyway - she needs that time to let off steam to be able to "zip it" as you describe. There are other ways to teach respectful speech and behavior. Good luck!

I didn't read all of the responses so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything. My sister-in-law is a kindergarten teacher at a public school and she says that it has definitely changed in the last few years. They have to cram so much work in during the day now that their play time and nap have been cut short and they do have to be a little more strict than they used to. My oldest son just started kindergarten this year too, but at a private school. I know the first week his teacher went over all of the rules every day (which 2 of them are not speaking without raising your hand and being called on and speaking in a low voice when in centers) and stressed how important they are to follow. As far as homework goes, every night is a little extreme since they are just getting used to having to do school work every day in the classroom. My son brings home an assignment every Monday and it is due back on Thursday which is the exact same as our public schools and all it consists of is practicing writing a certain letter and drawing three things that start with that letter. Other things are sent home every day, but nothing that has to be turned back in. We are also asked to keep a reading log and write down all of the books we read together each night. Also, your granddaughter should never be denied her recess time. She needs that time to burn off excess energy since they spend so much time sitting at their table all day. My son was reprimanded one day for not completing an assignment in class so he had to come back inside from recess 5 minutes early to complete his work. That 5 minutes was more than enough time for him to realize that he needs to complete his work on time from now on and it hasn't happened since. Missing the whole recess is just not fair to the child and I think your daughter needs to discuss it with the teacher or principal if she's not cooperative. They should have standard discipline measures in the school and that just doesn't seem right. Hope this helps some.

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WOW. I would say that is too rigid. I currently have a 5 year old son in kindergarten. I guess I am a public school rookie of sorts because we home schooled my oldest all the way through and my middle son till last year (5th grade). Anyway, I would suggest she make an appointment with the teacher and aske her to explain her "classroom philosophy". Let her know she wants to be on board and cooperate, but when there is a lack of understanding the "why" it's hard to support it. If she feels the teacher is blowing her off, go to the principal or guidance counselor. She has to be proactive. I am suprised they don't let the parents participate. Our school begs for our involvement. However, if she calls her school board, I am certain they will tell her that she can spend time in the class. This is her child and if she has concerns about her experience she has every right in the world to see how the day goes and how the routine is effecting her. On the flip side, your daughter can begin to teach your grand daughter how to exhibit some self control. She is not too young to understand the importance of it. My son has the gift of gab and gets up out of his seat on occasion. When you have a room full of 5 year olds, you have to maintain control if anything is to be accomplished. Kindergarten is no longer a half day of learning to share, learning colors and writing their name. The pressure these schools have to perform is causing them to raise the expectations of the students. While I do not agree with all their methods, our education standards have been so low for so long that we are producing some pretty dumb students. That doesn't help the little ones who we hope learn to love school their first year. You have to have a balance. We talk about our son's day - the good and bad. He has consquences for inappropriate behavior, but it's not heavy. We also reward good behavior as much as possible with little things. If your granddaughter is interrupting at school, she's doing at home. Your daughter must not allow this behavior because it is disrespectful. She can teach her effectively at home how to overcome that, but only if she sees the value in it. My son interrupts a lot, but learning not to is a life skill that will benefit him always, so we are very diligent to help him, not punitively, but encouraging. As for the homework, I am suprised that she has so much, and I'm sure either you or daughter sit with her to do it. The purpose of it is more to train her to get use to it than to actually learn anything academic. Just make sure she has some fun time right after school, at least 30 minutes before tackling it. Encourage your daughter to stay on top of the school and don't be afraid to contact the board if she does not get anywhere with the school itself. Good luck!

This actually sounds like my son's kindergarten classroom. He has the oldest and strictest teacher in the K program. I have to say that I am glad that he has her to teach him correctly. On the other hand, if I felt he was being treated too strongly, I may feel differently. We knew how strict K was so we spoke to our son continuously about paying attn, not speaking when the teacher is speaking, etc So far he has done great. He and only 3 other children are on the "no checks list", this being said, apparently 17 of the kids are getting checks too. That may make you feel better. I feel the same way about not knowing what is going on in the classroom, I would suggest you or your daughter volunteering in the classroom. If your daughter works, she may take a vacation day and volunteer to help the teacher in the classroom. It gives you an idea of what is going on. If she is not able to do that, she may ask for a meeting with the teacher. Tell her not to accuse, just to simply ask what she can do to make her daughter behave better and find out what she is doing that could be so wrong since she is so well behaved at home. Also, you may consider the fact that your granddaughter could be bored and therefor is acting up or talking. Your daughter may be able to speak to your granddaughter and find out why she is continuously not listening to the teacher and the rules, if you find that she may be bored, you can ask the teacher to give her more work once she has completed her work, such as helping pass out papers to the class, cleaning up, organizing crayons, etc Is her work being done correctly? Does she know what she is doing, just can't stop talking? Maybe you can talk to her, bribe her, if she goes 2 weeks w/ no checks, she can have...??? whatever you think she may like. $ or toys, etc

As far as homework, my son has homework 3 days a week and it takes him about 10-15 mins to complete. I think it is good to keep him in structure. He has a snack when he gets home and then does his homework and after that, he can play, watch tv, etc

Is your granddaughter getting enough sleep? Maybe she needs her seat moved if she is near a friend she likes to talk to. I would suggest your daughter having a meeting with the teacher b/c she is concerned. Truly though, if she is doing well and her report card shows good work but likes to talk, she will be fine and may just be bored. I have a friend whose son has always been the talker and getting in trouble but he was always on honor roll and in upper classes, she did not worry about his talking. :o) I am sure she will be fine.

I have to say I don't agree with the other comments on something must be wrong since you can't go into the classroom. They do not say you can't, they recommend that you do not. They want these children to be more self sufficient and don't want interruptions. This is mainly b/c some children cannot concentrate or will not pay attn if there are always distractions. I actually asked the teacher about this b/c I am an invovled parent and she told me that they want to start school on time and teach the children structure, time, responsibility, etc I would not let this bother you if it is simply just structure but if you feel there is more to it, set up a meeting or volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to see what is going on first hand. Good luck,
W.

My daughter is in first grade, and loved kindergarten last year. Kindergarten is much different than when I was in it some 30 years ago. Here, it is all day and much more structured. By the end, my daughter was a very good reader, doing math, and had been exposed to lots of science concepts. She did have to learn about the talking issue and different levels of voice (silent, whisper, normal, outside, etc). It is important so they are ready for the first grade. But, between my husband and me, we volunteered at least 2 to 3 times a week in the classroom, so we were able to see the structure and rules in action. Is your daughter able to volunteer to read or help during the school day? Is there a school that offer 1/2 day kindergarten. If it is really not a good fit, encourage your daughter to look at different schools, and it could be your granddaughter needs to wait a year. Good luck!

I think you have every right to be concerned. My son just started Kindergarten this year and he has had a little bit of trouble transitioning. However, he is in a charter school which is quite a bit different than regular public schools. Our charter school actually encourages parents to visit and volunteer in the classroom. My son's Kindergarten "homework" has consisted of reading books with Mom or Dad and "reading" books to Mom or Dad. As well as playing "games" with Mom & Dad that incorporate counting. Your daughter has every right to go visit the classroom. Don't let the administrators intimidate her. It is PUBLIC school which means we are paying for it through our tax dollars. She may also want to sit down with the teacher and ask the teacher what kinds of CONSTRUCTIVE things they can both do to help her transition. It is a big difference from pre-school to K. My son is starting to settle in a little better now. He still says that he wants to go back to pre-school because they don't play as much in K as they did in pre-K. But he's now coming home excited to tell me about the things he learned that day. One thing that I started doing with my son that seemed to help was putting little notes in his lunch and his teacher would read to him. I would write that I knew he was having fun and that I couldn't wait for him to get home later and tell me everything he learned that day. The best thing that I can tell you is to try to keep the lines of communication open with the teacher and don't let them tell you that you don't have a right to be involved in your child's education. Good luck. Hopefully a little more time will help too. It's still early in the year.

Call your Board of Education and ask if the school system has any minimum requirements for the amount of time children get for recess each day. Sometimes there are rules about this issue.

With my children I have always found that they are better behaved when they play outside every day. It burns off some of their extra energy. Schedule a meeting with the teacher and express your concerns that she needs physical activity to burn off her extra energy in order to "keep her lip zipped." Ask the principal to join you in the meeting. Principals usually have had years of experience with children and I have found them to be very helpful in meetings with our children's teachers.

i don't know where you live but that school sounds like my grandaughters school, she has the same problem, she had those same things last year in kinder. she is still having same problems in first, i think part of it is the day we live in there isn't much disipline in school because the schools hve been made powerless like parents have when i was in school you got sat in a corner or paddled but now that hurts their self esteem, also there is an increase in adhd due to so much additives in food and the lack of real cosquenses for behavior. only alternative i see is enrolling in a christain school if you can afford it, we can't my daughter is living with me too we could be twins she has a 6 year old daughter and a 14 month son except i'm widowed, my daughter is also engaged her soldier is in iraq right now, we make abby have consequences at home for bad behavior at school take away priviledges etc. hope this helps at least to know you are not alone. J.