What Do You Think About These Responses? Just Curious

I suggest that this may just be social banter. It sounds like they've formed their group based on the idea that kids are difficult and so we send them off to day care or school. It's like a group myth. It's a way to bond. Someone started the myth and others followed.

Good that you're not following. Sounds like you're handling it well and they're comfortable with you. The conversations are superficial and I suspect don't tell the real story.

Not all women have the ability to be a stay at home mom. I'm guessing that's the case for these women. Most women have to work these days and so have a "good" reason to put their children in child care or school. These women, apparently don't have to work and so have to have some reason to say why they're sending their children off. I say it's good that they recognize that it's best for them and their children to be in day care/school.

It's great that you've had good experiences being a stay at home mom who wanted her son to be at home. Sounds like hese other mothers have accepted you. Now you can accept them even tho they're different than you. Both ways are good ways to raise children.

This makes me sad b/c I would give my right arm to be able to stay home with my boys. I wonder if they "had" to work for a year or two they may change their minds?? Maybe they would learn to appreciate their time with their little ones versus looking forward to dropping them off somewhere. So sad.
And how does that work??? How are they SAHM's if they just stay home and not be Mom?!?!

I think its ridiculous. It seems like these days more and more moms want to get their kids out of the house. I was shocked when I saw there is actually preschool for a 2 year old!!! I work with a guy whose wife was taking their daughter to a preschool at the age of 2. I would have never thought to do that. I work while my mom stays with my daughter all day. We would have never thought to put her in that young! She is in know at the age of 5. My oldest is a teenager and also didn't go to preschool until just before kindergarten. She always did awesome in school and still is. Some people will say that they learn more, but they really do not. I think its just to get these kids out of the house...just my opinion. I think the age of 2 is WAY too early for school. That's still a BABY!!!!

LMAO! You live in Laguna Niguel! I grew up in Newport and when I read your query I couldn't WAIT to scroll back up and see where you lived, because I KNEW IT!!!!! South Orange County is its own planet. Some other gal a while back wrote about how bummed she was that the other women in her community seemed to judge her because she happily drove a truck instead of a BMW. (She lives in N.B.)
I currently live in Burbank but much of my family is still down there, Lido Island, Aliso Viejo and Mom is in Laguna Woods. I'm a SAHM with my 2 young children and am pregnant with my third. My family has NEVER been able to support my decision to raise my own children and forgo some luxuries to do so. My sister in Newport chose the small dog/no kids path and has more or less quit speaking to me since I got pregnant for the 3rd time "out of wealth" as I like to put it (worse than out of wedlock). She told me pretty plainly one time, you have the baby, you go back to work and the child goes into daycare! She has no respect left for me!!!
My children are so healthy and so happy and so smart and they are the light of my life. I have never found that level of satisfaction in ANY job I have EVER had. I have friends who are so grateful for the option to go back to work and get free from their spawn. Mothering is not for everyone. If you're good at it and you like it (or love it), I don't know that it would do you or your audience any good to change your response. I think you're doing great with the grin and nod response. If you tell them you like it, then you are viewed as a simpleton! And any other response might lean more toward insulting them to maintain your dignity... I say grin and nod. It's the most gracious thing you can do here.
Read this for a laugh: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/5431747675068432385

i would say they ask about pre school as a conversation starter.
Then when you say you are a sahm they want the conversation to go further so they reveal their thoughts about how they dealt.... that way they know what kind of sahm you are *the kind that likes to be with your kid all day and can handle it, rather than *the kind that still needs ME time.
That is the fence that sahm's stand on I guess. Either you love your child more by being with him/her continually and never complain about it OR your child drives you nuts and you have to have a few hours of freedom every week. The moms that need the freedom still in fact LOVE their child just as much as the mom that cant concieve of the fact that her child would be okay in someone elses care for a little while each week. SAHM's do not see eye to eye on this at all and it builds a wall. I look at it and it's the lamest arguement ever and ruins lots of great female friendships.
I have lots of girlfriends that still like to do "girls night out". But I am not into it myself. I enjoy being with my husband and we dont go anywhere without each other for the most part. Most of my friends dont "get that" for some reason.... I find it funny.
I would not take these ladies too seriously, they are just trying to find out where your head is at. If you are UNHAPPY they want to know because misery loves company. If you are a happy mom and wife the gals that arent will not want to befriend you as closely. It's all about sorting out the pack, it's a game. Look at it that way.

When people have brought that up in my presence, if it seems appropriate (i.e., they are waiting for me to say something) I usually mention how much I regret my kids being in "pre-school."

If I were you I would just not say anything, or something like "well, now that he's in school full-time I'm very grateful I didn't miss a moment of his pre-school years."

Probably what is bothering you is feeling that you are falsely going along with them (when that's not how you truthfully feel) - not that I think that's what you're doing.

Chances are they aren't listening to you anyway. :P Most people just want their own choices validated. Now if they ask your opinion in a genuine way, I would give my honest thoughts on the matter.

I am like you. I just enrolled my son in preschool, only b/c he will be starting kindergarten in a few months, but then pulled him out after two months because we just couldn't afford it.

I really don't think there is any appropriate response , just go where the conversation leads. If anyone asks how your survived, or why... you can always defend yourself nicely, 'We had a lot of fun together staying home and didn't feel like preschool was a necessity for us."

I agree that the 9 outta 10 mothers are giving an exaggerated response because they perceive that it sounds wittier, more self-deprecating, etc. than a self-righteous, conversation killer response like, "Mine started school earlier because I want them to be more academically prepared." Blerg!

I would assume since they've known each other for several years, they are comfortable with silly or exaggerated or shocking-for-the-fun-of-it chatting than you (as someone who is new to the group) might be.

I am a working mom and would LOVE to be able to stay home with my kids. I did notice when my kids were in preschool that there were moms who didn't work who took their kids. There were also moms who took their vacation time from work and still took the kids to preschool each day so that they could have that time to themselves. I never did that. If I have the day off (as long as I wasn't sick) the kids are with me. That is just the way it is. I want to spend as much time with them as possible.

In yoursituation, I think that I would just keep responding as you have been. There is no reason to make any comment to them that would cause them to become defensive. They are not going to change, they are selfish!

I'm totally in your shoes (or was) and to put it bluntly, I find their attitudes not only weird, but also sad. What's with a SAHM who stays home, but then sends the kids away - that means she is just staying at home! I mean here and there is one thing, but from the point of 6mo old on until they go away to school, come on! If you're going to do that, you might as well get a job, at least part time........This sounds like one of those "real wife" episodes Jeez.

that is kind of wierd but no need to be defensive about it -- it doesn't sound like they're attacking your choices or anything like that. just social bantering which, with parents, is a lot of "omg my kids suck the life out of me" whether they actually feel that way or not. just continue to laugh and sympathize. not much else you can do!

I personally don't get it. I thought being a SAHM was to stay at home with the kids until they started kindergarten??!! I have never stayed home with the kids, I have worked full time and enjoy it and currently own my own business. So I guess I just "assumed" that SAHM's had their kids at home! I would just ask them when they say these things and see what they say! Maybe the term for that is "housewife" and not SAHM? I don't know. This is news to me, but then I don't really know many SAHM's and the ones I do know have their kids home with them. Good luck!!!!

I wish I had some great revelation,but I am with you. Those responses sound so strange and, honestly, selfish.
I work out of the home and relish the time I get on vacation or in-between gigs when I get to be a SAHM.
All I can think is maybe, just maybe, these gals are trying to laugh off the inadequacies and second guessing we all have as being a "new" mom because instead of dealing with it head on, they took their kiddos to child care.
If it were me, and I know I don't understand the social norms of the group, I would probably look at them, not laugh or say anyting but "Oh." Secretly I'd be feeling very sorry for them.

I don't know if that answered you at all. I am still just floored by some of these responses. . .

No way! My LO is at home with me and although she IS a total handful and I get comments like "Wow! No wonder you're so thin!! You have to chase HER around all day!", I love her pieces and have so much fun having her here with me.
I did send her for a while to a preschool when she was 2, but it was only 2 half days a week. It got too expensive (since I don't bring in an income) so we took her out.

You know what I hear that too - oddly enough I just laugh it off. When it came time to decide whether to put our son into preschool - I didn't want him to go because I wasn't ready for him to "go to school" - I saw no real reason at first. Plus the money part too. I am glad that we did though because YES it is quiet in the house for a few hours 3 to 4 days a week where I can focus on what I need to do and attempt to get organized for whatever project I have going on. Plus he gets to socialize and make friends. We live out in the middle of nowhere where there is no children for him to interact with and he was really wanting to play with other children. So, it's a positive for him.

But yeah I agree with you that it's odd for parents to just shove their kiddos away because they are a handful. And they can't handle them that would be strange. I know that some kiddos can be hard to handle...but as a parent it's your responsibility to provide the foundation of stability and structure for your child. If you let your children run the house...then yes it's very difficult to keep them in line and then when they reach a certain age - they will have no respect for you as an authority figure....well that will just lead into bigger problems down the line. I can go on and on.....

I'm with you, That just sounds weird! I had to work after I had my oldest until she was about 9 or 10 months old. I also worked nights, so the time I got to have with her I was tired and out of it, so it was aweful. I hated every minute of not being with my daughter. When my husband and I decided it would be better for us and our family if I stayed home I jumped at the chance and haven't looked back since!!
Would these happen to be very young moms? It sounds a lot like some young moms I used to know who didn't want to give up their own time after having kids. They were afraid of losing their sense of self and thier own good time.

If asked, I would respond w/ "I never sent my Son to any school until this past Fall. My Son is 5. I didn’t for 1 reason – I couldn’t justify paying to have someone else care for my child when I had the privilege of staying home." Yep, you're very own words. They are honest and there is no hostility in them.

I agree with you and I wish I could have afforded to stay home with my children so I don't get it.

I believe that what these moms are saying is that being a stay at home mom and actually staying at home w/ the kids is tough and it isn't for them. They don't mind staying at home but they want the freedom and lack of responsibility that sending the kids to daycare/preschool provides. It works for them.

As for a response, try something like "Yeah, I know what you mean. Being a stay at home mom is not always easy".

Well, you DO live in Laguna Niguel... :)

I took our grandkids to Mothers-Day-Out just to have some time to myself during the day. I did enjoy having OB/GYN appointments without prying eyes or going grocery shopping without having to listen to "I want that" to every single thing we passed. I also enjoyed getting to catch up on the picking up toys and dirty clothes a few times a week. K went M-W-F from 10a-3p and J went W-F same time frame. They were closed when school was closed for breaks ands weather so they didn't go year round. It was just very part time.

I didn't just drop off the kids so I could go home and take a nap. I usually accomplished quite a lot while they were busy making friends, learning lots of new things, and playing.

I guess I have not seen that or heard that. I came from a lot of stay at home moms and moms groups and we all were on the same page pretty much. I would feel as you do.... that is all very strange. I will look forward to what people say on this one. Thanks for posting.

LOL! I am fortunate to stay home with my children and would never dream of doing that. Some people ask me the same question I just reply Some people don't have it cut out to stay home with children-lmao. I think it is selfish and some of them probably should;t have had children, but some rely on others to do things that they can easily do at home-prob due to their social staus, etc.
I have a neighbor like that-she has 2 kids-she is a teacher so has summer and holidays off, etc. She has always taken the kids to daycare no matter if she has off or not-she says she needs me time-LMAO! So they go to daycare from 7am they come home by 4pm sometimes later and then they are in bed at 6pm-yes 6pm.One year for new Yrs Eve the daycare had a sleep over for kids-LOL she took them there so she could go out so pretty much they spent over 24 hrs there-it is unbelievable to me, but that is society and we cannot all be alike or the world would be a boring place. LAAURA :) I am keeping this as I am soooo interested in other responses :)

I work fulltime but would love to be home if I could. If it were me as a SAHM I would definitely do preschool a few days a week for the kids. Give them some new type of stimulation and structure as well as make some friends. I get a break to get things done in the house or grocery shopping, meet moms for coffee...hair apt, nail apt. With kids attached at the hip there is no me time....Definitely need the balance. What worked for you obviously didn't for the other moms. I would never say what they are saying. I love spending time with my kids and can't wait to leave work so I can hug and kiss those sweet angels. I do agree that like any job a break from time to time is in order for many parents

I've never heard anyone say that. Guess it depends who your hang with or where you live.

I've heard that before. I chalk most of it up to chit-chat-one-upmanship.
If you want to have some fun with them, ask them when they are shipping their kids off to boarding school.
I've also seen Moms who've never let their child out of their sight (apparently) since birth and then go into hysterics when the first day of school comes along and the poor kid ends up screaming like kindergarten is some kind of torture chamber.
I had to go back to work when my maternity leave was up. When I dropped my child off at day care for the first time when he was 12 weeks old - I bawled my eyes out. So for me (and my son) the first day of school was not so traumatic.

well i am sahm also. we have 3 kids. i dont really care for daycare i want to be the main care giver for my kids. anyhow i did put my children in nursery school which is at least around where i live 2 1/2 hr 2 dys a week for 3 yrs or 3dys a wk for 4 yrs.
the reason i put them in nursery school so they would be socially ready. the majority of the day i was with my kids. my little one is still in nursery school. be proud of yourself for being a mom that enjoys her childs company.
now i think its a completely different situation if you have to work and need to put your kids in daycare. i know some people that put their kids in daycare quite young..simply because they needes a break. it is a shame for the kids they loose out.

I am a SAHM and I send my almost 4 y/o to preschool and he has been going there since turning 2 y/o and I also have a full-time nanny. It is a half-day program and I send him there to learn and to get used to be in the structured environment with other kids and to follow school rules. He loves his school and the teachers. He learns tons of stuff, we supplement at home with many different materials. He has sport or art activities every day in the afternoon and the nanny takes him there so I can tutor and supervise my 13 y/o son.
I like to have some time alone in the mornings to myself, go for a run or some other solitary activity...or talk to friend....no denying that....but the main reason I send my child to school is to have him in the stimulating environments all the time.... not a moment to waste. After my little guy comes from school I am busy until everyone is in bed. First, the little guy is back and I do some educational sctivities with him or just play, then nanny takes her turn playing, talking, singing, running... then they leave for the activity and my moody teenager rolls in from school....then I am busy with him because he is some sort of ADD spectrum and needs constant supervision, encouragment, etc. I supervise computer use, check homework, do extra tests, tutor...whater needs to be done. We go for a walk if he is done early and talk about life... he loves that. My kids do not own a single computer game, TV time is given out like candy...on special occasions only. On Fri and Sun we have a eve sport activity together with a 13 y/o. In the evening the little guy rolls in and I do all the evening bath/story time with him...and he still sleeps in his little bed by my bedside...he has his room ans bed but uses it for play only...gotta sleep with mommy :) So by the time they are in bed - I feel very depleted.
I do admit that to be a good parent I need time off from my children to recharge....otherwise my internal battery runs low... but having support people like nanny and teachers helps to keep the ballance. When I am with my child - I am there 100%. I have resources to give because I have some time to myself and my boys love to be with me. It is the greatest privilege for them - to be with mom.
My husband works long hours and the kids see him late in the eve if they are not asleep by then... or on the weekend only if he is not traveling....

Anyway, I do agree with you that a lot of moms send kids to school and day care to get away from them.... but I do not judge them because parenthood is a very difficult work (physicaly and emotionaly) and not everyone knows or ready for it when they become parents. So many people trying to survive the childhood years the best way they can without looseng themselves, their relationships or their sanity. I do decline a lot of invitations for coffee, play dates and tennis because of the kids and some of my friends do not get why I do not have time or why I have to be home when my kids walk in the door if I have a full time nanny...or why I cannot lock my 13 y/o at home with a videogame or a movie and bring the little guy for a play date.... but that is how I live and the gals just got used to that ...

i'd bet at least a few of them are being self-deprecating.
i homeschooled my kids from middle school on and really enjoyed the time with them. that being said, i WAS also a little sad at losing what little 'me' time i had back then (worked close to full time). i don't think it's awful to want that.
however, i'm really sad at how early most littles get packed off to pre-school these days. academics are important, but not to a 3 year old. i think just about all littles would benefit from longer babyhoods. pre-school is a necessity for some working parents and a savior for kids with disinterested or abusive parents, but for most kids they're better off at home.
but it's not so awful for a busy mom to treasure a few quiet hours.
khairete
S.

I have been a stay at home mother for most of my motherhood and during that time I have sent them to preschool when they turned two/three. Not because I could not stand them, I love them all very dearly, it was more about making sure they were prepare socially and academically for kindergarten. I also wanted an opportunity to meet other mothers of children the same age. Mother groups were not working for me for some reason but over the course of time, I have made great friends with the mothers of the other preschoolers. I also found myself busy at the preschool being the room mother and helping out whenever I could. This was a great benefit for me because I was able to watch my children interact and see how they were doing academically. It let me know when to send them to k. Preschool was only three hours a day for three days a week anyway. Most of the time they were home with me.

I would respond that you felt that you could prepare your child for kindergarten without sending them to preschool.

You were lucky that you seem to have a gregarious child that makes friends easily. It also sounds like you were able to prepare him academically for the rigors of school. Good for you!

I am a stay at home mom and I didn't send my kids to day care either. I agree with you that I can stay at home and it wasn't worth paying someone else to do MY job as a mom. Not saying everyone should stay at home because some woman have to work or really enjoy it I am just surprised to hear someone say they are a stay at home mom yet sends their kids to day care.

I probably would laugh as I think that is sad to hear someone can't handle their kids so they sent them off. I have 3 kids my oldest has ADHD and my middle Autism and ADHD and these woman couldn't handle typical kids with no special needs. I could tell them what exhaustion is. That is just sad!

I am a stay at home mom but just recently I sent my son to preschool for 2 mornings a week for a total of 8-9 hours a week. I don't like spending the money since I am not working but I did it for him, not me. Sure its nice to be able to have some time to myself, I wont deny that. But since he has a speech delay and early intervention felt he was too self-directed I knew I had to put him into school when it was too cold to go to the farm/park/beach/ect. I am baffled as why some moms would put their kids into school full time if they are not working but maybe they are just saying those things out of jest because they don't want to tell you what the real issue is. Preschool has been wonderful for my son. They are probably just trying to make conversation and see if you have something in common. Lets try not to judge eachother's decisions.

I've never been a SAHM except for a six month period maternity leave when by boys were born. I admit when my second son was born I placed my oldest son in daycare and he was about 2 years old at the time. I knew I was going back to work and I wanted him to get use to the idea of being there before I returned to work. I was glad that I sent him before my leave was up because it was a hard adjustment for him. My youngest went to daycare at all most a year old because my MIL was getting older and not able to care for him anymore.
Anyway I feel those comments are strange as well. I feel that if a women has the privilage of being a SAHM the least she can do is raise her children. There is no way that my husband would allow me to be at home doing nothing but painting my nails, shopping and having coffee with firends everyday while he is working 40 plus hours a week and paying the high cost of daycare.
There is nothing wrong with it if the parent want to send the child a couple of days per week for socialization or so that the mom can get some things done. But I don't understand why someone would do it everyday more than 7 hours a day as if they were going to a job. I'm not trying to be judgemental but to me it's a waste of money that could go towards something else.
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I am SAHM - and a WAHM....however, when my son was 18 months old - he went to day care for 4 hours a day, 3 days a week - he was and still is a VERY social kid. This time allowed me to go grocery shopping, get my nails done or something else just for me - like doctor's appointments.

however, i RUSHED back to the center to pick him up. I made sure I had him in my arms at the 4 hour mark. When I had my second son, they asked me to come work for them - I did, I was an Assistant Director. I couldn't take the hours - ohhh man - the time away from my kids. it sucked.

I am a SAHM and I plan on putting my child in preschool next year. Not because I can't handle her but because her education is a priority to me. I don't like having to pay for it, but it will be worth it (and it will be nice to have a couple hour break too) But I would never put my child in daycare if I was a SAHM.... I don't know what the point of staying at home if my kids weren't there too, and I don't think my hubby would go for that..lol.

The grass is always greener. Those of us working moms would have loved to have that choice, but since we work we are allowed to make comment to the SAHM's who say they can't wait till the house is quite. I usually say "aren't you lucky to be a SAHM but have no kids to stay home for??!!" This is directed to the pre-school crowd not K and up. I also couldn't rationalize paying for someone else to care for my kid 5 days a week if I were home. When I had to put my 12 week old in daycare to go back to work I was beside myself and cried for a week, but that's me. Like other posters have said they probably say it to be funny, but that they are surprised that you kept your son home while you were home is just....odd.

as a working mom, I cant imagine sending my kid off if I didnt have to! I'm jealous of the time she goes to her little class at church for an hour and a half on our Fridays off! :-)

I think the responses you are hearing are just a common thing for us SAHM's to say. We obviously stay home for a reason, we value the time we get with our kids and want to raise them rather than paying a daycare a lot of money to do it. I don't know of anyone who truly put their child into preschool or daycare to get away from them. Of course it's nice to have quiet time while they are gone, but the motivation for enrolling a child in preschool is for their benefit. Socialization, arts and crafts, group activities and learning is what preschool is for. I enrolled my middle daughter before she turned 3 because she's too darn smart for her own good. She thrived in preschool those 2 days a week (2 hours). She got to interact with her friends, paint, learn letter sounds, learn to take direction from other adults. She will have 3 years of preschool under her belt before kindergarten and she will have benefited from it, more than me having her here at home for those 4-6 hours/week.

I think you are doing what is right for you and that is wonderful but I really think that you may just be misunderstanding their responses. I hear it a lot too and have said it on occasion but none of us really enroll our children to get rid of them. I think a proper response on your part would be, "I never felt the need to enroll my child, I provided for him just what he needed. Being a mom is tough and tiring and I totally understand where you are coming from". That would be a supportive thing to say without jumping to conclusions and offending someone.

Edited to add: Our preschool is a coop so that means we are part of the child's education. We (the parents) volunteer each class and help out. We get to see firsthand what goes on in the class and get to experience it with our kids. I don't see anything wrong with sending a child to preschool at 3 if you are a stay at home mom. My kids are with me all the time, day and night and sending them to preschool does not make me a bad mom, nor does it mean I don't want to be around them. It's really tiring hearing every angle to this story every where you go, either you are shunned because you do or you are shunned because you don't. Obviously none of us can win. Why don't we stop picking on each other and just all get along?

I did not read all the replies - but here is my take. I have 5 children. Two of which really "needed" to go to preschool at 2 years of age because they were active and social and busy -- they liked it, and frankly, I needed a BREAK from them! But, one of my girls did not attend school until required by the state - i.e., kindergarten, because she was perfectly happy hanging with me. I think it just depends on both the mom's temperament and the child's temperament -- which makes for many, many options. I know plenty of people who are SAHMs and sent their kids to daycare or a babysitter part time because that is what works for them -- obviously, keeping your son home worked for you. I would never be "surprised" though that someone did not send their child to daycare or preschool -- it is a very individual thing IMO.

I was a working single Mother... and I found a way to get a job that I could take my daughter with me. I loved having her around anyways - plus daycare costs were completely out of the picture. She started a daycare part time at 3 y/o, went full time Pre-K at 4 and is now in Kindergarten - the youngest in her class at newly 5 y/o. My now husband moved in with up when she was 2.5 y/o... we got married November 2010.

When I hear about Moms wanting the infants or toddlers out of the house for "ME TIME"... I really can't fathom it. I probably give them an odd look too - because I never get questioned about why she wasn't in daycare sooner. I'm also the playgroup "Mom" where most of the children flock to me, even when their own Moms are there.

I hear that pretty often... fro parents who go to my kids' school and some daycare families I've had. I remember being at a family Thanksgiving where the hosts had invited some friends who didn't have family close. They had two kids and no one was paying attention to them, so I started playing with them. The Mom came in and said " you don't have to play with them"." I replied ," Oh, I like playing with them." She said... " Oh. I never have time to play with my kids. " She was a stay at home Mom, and I felt sad that whatever she was doing at home didn't include playing with her kids??!!

I think parenting is a really hard job if it's done well. AND I think that people have kids not being prepared for how they will change their lives, their social calendar, their relationships etc... I mean how can you be prepared exactly. But for some, it's just more energy, more sacrifice, more patience than they have and having a break is what they need either to be a better parent or to just not go crazy themselves.

I don't really relate to it. We sent our kids to part-time daycare out of necessity and I hated being away from them. Then I was able to start my own daycare and, even though they are in school now I still feel really grateful to be able to stay home with them more than if I was working outside of the house. We all have days where we need a break or when the kids are going through some phase that drives us crazy. I'd rather be there to help them through it than to "not be able to deal" with my kids behavior and send them off someplace else.

I liked Dragonflower's post in response to what your answer should be.

I am a SAHM. My son is 3.5 and goes to preschool two mornings a week. I do it mainly for him to learn to be in a school setting but I also really love having a little break. I do have a two month old at home though, so it's not really a break! I also sent my son to a co-op preschool, so all of the moms are very involved at the school.

I know a lot of moms who stay home full time and a lot of moms who work. I know some SAHMs who put their kids in school young, some who started at age 3 or 4, and some who are not putting their preschool-aged children into school at all. I think everyone does what feels right for them.

When people ask you, I would just say that you enjoyed being home with your son and wanted to take advantage of your time together while you could.

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com - come check out a great site for local moms!

Maybe people just think this the thing to say? Like when people rag on their spouses for fun?

p.s. Oh my - I just read the comments about where you live. My Mil lives near there. Maybe this explains....everything.

I won't be much help because I don't quite get that mentality. Although if it were just me and my daughter at home I think it would be more difficult for me than running a home daycare, ironically enough. I have to be busy and feel purposeful or I don't get much done--a routine of sorts that the daycare forces to me have where being a SAHM I wouldn't have such a good routine for myself or my daughter. I do think my daughter would be a much bigger handful if she didn't have her daycare playmates to occupy her and to give me a break from only giving her attention. She's had to learn just like if she were not a first born to share and compromise. Other SAHM like yourself are probably way better at balancing housework and children than me:) I have no idea why you would stay at home and not have some kind of part time job or volunteering to do. I can't just do housework all day--just not my style. Maybe some of these women really haven't found their sense of purpose in life? I'm sure there are many SAHM and SAHF as well as working parents that do what they do not because it best fits them but out of convenience or financial circumstances Or maybe their rolling in the dough so they can afford such privileges--LOL

I never sent my kids to preschool, and I never felt the worries you have now. It is your decision and in motherhood there are and there will be many decisions that will make you a minority or part of the crowd. Moms have different reasons to send their kids to preschool, ones because they need a break, others because are working moms, and so on and nobody is right or wrong. So, don't worry about it. It is your decision and you have your reasons. You are happy, your little one is happy, and he will learn eventually what he needs to learn in society, there are plenty of ways to help your child to improve social skills or whatever seems necessary to thrive in society. He looks great to me, though.
I feel blessed and lucky to have the opportunity to be home with my kids, and they are still loved and accepted by their friends and neighbors. So., don't worry..be happy!