What Do You Think... - Zebulon,NC

I love them! It takes a real man to say " well you earn more so I'll stay home" and then actually do the job as well as his wife would.

More power to them!

I think they are the most awesomest people in the world! :)

PS - thanks for the props Cheryl O! :)

The same as stay at home moms. Some are great and others aren't. If the dad can stay home and handle it, more power to them!

I would be one of the not so great stay at home moms.

My opinion of a sahd is about the same as those who are sahms. The only difference is that sometimes, I think "Wow---he's secure enough to do this even though some people are stupid enough to judge him".

I'm quite offended at YinMommy's answer.....is a sahm lazy just because she stays home? If you'd answer yes, then you're opening up a can of worms...a mom is not automatically lazy because she stays home. And that means a man is not automatically lazy if he's a sahd. That's ignorance and prejudice right there, and I think it's lame, lame, lame.

Not to brag, I'm not perfect, but I'm happy with the way I manage the household and my husband is proud of me. My children are thriving. I am big on schedules, routines, and LOTS of opportunities for loving, learning, exploring, and experiencing all kinds of things. I used flylady to help me learn how to do all kinds of things, and run my home like a business (it is MY business)in a lot of ways. I've seen some lazy sahm's who can't get their house clean, but aren't really doing anything with the kids OR outside the home either, and I'm like "No really....what DO you do with your time?"

On the flip side, my brother is seriously one tough guy. A total man's man. Even my husband has said that my brother is the hardest worker he's ever seen and he DID used to pull 17-20 hour shifts, with no warning, just a phone call in the middle of the night for an emergency, and there he was with his scuba gear on, welding or whatever needed to be done, in super cold water. He worked his butt off and started his own business and was successful with it! But he chose to marry a lady he'd ran with since middle school at the age of 26, and adopt her son. Her parents were thrilled because they thought that marrying my brother would make her come HOME (close to them) and start working less. Instead, she looked at him at the reception dinner right in front of me and said "I hope you know, I'm NEVER moving back here....I worked hard to get out of this state". My brother nodded and accepted her and what her dreams were. He left his company with other people and moved to the state she was in and they began a life there. He is an amazing father to both of their boys, the boys are much more logical, intelligent, fearless, and mentally/emotionally strong than ANY of the boys around them. Their oldest son is exceptional and tutors the neighborhood boys, is studying to be a preacher, and is a star in every sport he's ever put his hand to. The youngest spends loads of time outdoors with his dad, walking through the woods and exploring everything. My brother did try a lot to get a job, but they're in a state where you have to be in a union to do anything out there. And his wife makes A LOT of money (more than my husband makes), is very successful and loves her job, is the top female in the USA in her career, and just entered politics. My brother struggled to let her follow her passions without letting her family's attitude towards him get to him. Like he's Suzie Homemaker and less of a man? I beg to differ. He's man enough to recognize that his wife is very passionate about her career, is gifted in it, and works stupid hours and the kids need a stable parent at home instead of living in daycare. That was their choice, together. It works for them. I'm proud of him, and those boys. I know that my husband is a wonderful father, but he doesn't have it in him to be the full time, sahd. Some do, some don't. Some mom's don't have it in them to be full time sahms either.

I've seen some men at like storytime at the library, or the playground. They seem a little lonely in a way because they aren't "in the group" but also haven't seemed to WANT to be in the group. I watch sometimes because I notice differences. For example, in Tuesday's storytime, some of the kids were just roaming around touching stuff on the wall, playing, spinning around, all while the lady is reading. I thought it was distracting to my guys, and disrespectful to the librarian, but the moms didn't really do anything. Or occasionally they'd say "Bobby, no" but wouldn't act on it. When a dad's son stood up to join the other boys in misbehaving, he said "__, sit down and listen" in a "dad" voice, and the child obeyed. I thought it was impressive.

Can't really answer without more info. Much like SAH Moms, there is a lot that goes into making the decision, and it is different for everyone. So my opinion about it/them would vary as well.

A friend of my son's from karate just lost her Dad a few weeks ago. He had been a StayAtHome Dad for their 2 kids since the oldest was born. He (the oldest) was born with Down's Syndrome, his wife was in medical school, and it just made sense that she finish up her school/internship and work (at a much higher income than he could at that time) and he felt the need to stay home with their child. They later had another child (my son's friend, a girl) and everything worked for them. He was active in the community, in local politics, in his kids life and schools, and drove them everywhere, always taking their son as well. He was quite a character, and always had a smile for everyone and tease or joke to lighten the mood.

He is missed. Is it my place to say that they did or didn't make a mistake 18 years ago? Umm.... I think not.

If your lucky enough to have someone be able to stay at home with the kids, especially when they are little, who care if it's the mom or the dad. As long as they are loved and cared for during the day.

Opinion? Not exactly sure what that means. I think it's as great an idea as having a stay at home mom. My husband is one, so I guess it's personal. He's great at everything except making small talk with other moms at kid events. Oh, and thankfully, we don't have any close-minded, judgmental people like YinMommy around us who thinks there's something wrong with a man who stays home with his child.

Sexy, as long as their hearts are in it and they are doing a good job at it.

The same opinion I have of stay at home moms.

The few stay at home dads that I know are GREAT and super involved with their kids.

What Julie B said. It takes a confident man to take on a "traditionally female role" in our society, sadly.

whatever works 4 the family

I think it is awesome.

One of my neighbors has been the stay at home dad since his children were infants.

He and his wife made this decision before they got pregnant.

I cannot remember what he used to do before he stayed home, but his wife has her own OBGYN Practice and is always on call.,, at least it seems that way..

Their eldest is about to graduate from high school! I loved having him volunteer up at school. He always had a great perspective on things.

Without him.. The kids and the wife would not be the successes they are,. He is awesome.

I think having A parent at home is the best choice IF possible. Kudos to the men out there who are MAN enough to do so.

i think the fantasy is a lot greater than the reality :) if there's a mr. perfect out there that has his heart in it, does a good job, great. assuming mom has a great career and it is feasible for the family financially. if the dad has little patience, not much experience with kids, is doing it only because he can't/won't find a job...hmmm. but that could describe many sahm's too.

in the end like many things, my opinion doesn't matter - each family needs to do what they feel is best. who are we to decide based on that one fact alone?

I know some who are better than stay at home moms. And some who aren't. Just like some stay at home moms really have it together... and some don't.

I think there are some dads that couldn't handle it. Just like I think there are some moms that couldn't handle it. It relection there are some moms that can't stand going to work and being away from the kids, same thing with dads. It depends on the person. I know that my hubby couldn't handle it because he told me he can't. And he is not a great multitasker.

Oh I'd really like to know what Yinmommy's second thought is! But wait... she must be our weekend troll. Nevermind.

I know two stay-at-home dads. Great guys. They both volunteer countless hours at school and church, and do a great job of raising their kids. I think if it works for them that's a great thing! I don't see any negatives.

My opinion is no different than of stay at home moms. Some families can afford to have only one parent work or prefer to have a parent as the primary caregiver at all times. In some families, the mother is the higher wage earner. If you have a mom making $150K a year as a lawyer and a dad making $30K as a UPS driver, if someone is going to stay at home, it makes sense that it will be the dad! Not every family is made up of a highly paid man and a low paid woman.

I don't know any SAHDs on a personal level.
I know some unemployed-getting-on-their-wives-last-nerve dads personally, but that's different. :)

I have known a few men that are the stay at home parent & they all do a great job. Circumstances have led to my husband staying home for short periods on & off , he really enjoyed being with the kids & the responsibilities that come with being the SAHP. I stay home now but if we had our choice , we would switch places. He took a job about 2 years ago , that pays significantly more than P/T nursing & due to his schedule I'm no longer working .

I only know one. He is an amazing, involved dad. Some are critical. I say, whatever works!
Every family is different and a couple's decision for one parent to be a SAHM/SAHD is a personal decision between them. It doesn't matter what other people think.

I don't think you should judge people by their gender.

You've had a few posts here grilling you about your reason for wanting to know. I don't know why this question is different than anybody else's about other subjects, quite frankly. Did you ever see the movie "Mr. Mom"? Love that movie! I think there are a lot of Mr. Mom's out there who have lost their jobs and their wives do have one. If he can make the transition, and it works for their family, it's wonderful that the kids have a parent at home and wonderful that he gets to spend this formative time with the children.

I've read here on this site many times about husbands who are forced into the role and can't handle it - they take the kids to family members instead of handling them, as if it's all temporary, and some of this involves depression from a change they can't cope with.

And then there are the men who just want to be with their kids and give up their careers. Just like women who do that, every day!

Taking care of kids is hard work. Not every man is cut out for being a SAHD. There certainly are women who aren't cut out to be SAHM's!

We have a few SAHD's on this site. They seem to love what they do and are happy in their role. I'm sure their kids are happy too. That's a wonderful scenario.

Lastly, have you seen the commercial where the two dads have their babies (and a toddler) at the park? They are both sniffing their kids diapers with the kids held up in the air at the same time. But the "smell" is coming from the toddler standing nearby. Hysterical! I have seen this exact thing from moms more times than I can count, and have done it before. That commercial shows that SAHD's are becoming more usual, and that's a GOOD thing!!

Hope this helps!
Dawn

I think it's great if children have either parent to come home to after school or to be with during the day. I think of SAHD just like I do SAHM's. My hubby is the one home with the kids the most and they love it and he loves that they will always remember how much time they got to have with Daddy.

To each their own! If that is what works, than more power to the stay at home dads. Who cares if it's mom or dad as long as the parent loves and cares for the kids?

If he is a GOOD stay at home dad, wonderful for him!! If not, I feel the same way about bad stay at home dads...as I do about bad stay at home moms. So long as the parent is a good parent, I don't care about their gender.

The same as it is for stay at home moms -if the family can afford it and the dad wants to do it, then great!

As long as the kids. needs are met, it doesn't matter if mom stays home and dad works, dad stays home and mom works, or both parents work.

What is the difference between SAHD vs SAHM? One has an outie? Big deal - the job gets done either way.

I will be interested to see what Jimathomedad says ... or if he is going to grace this question with an answer.

My husband is a SAHD. I like it when he does his job properly. I love it when I come home to a clean house, dinner on the stove, homework done. A lot of the time it doesn't actually work like this.

I dislike that he won't use the time to increase his future earning potential by retaining.

*retraining*

If they are doing a good job at it, i think it is great!

Every family is different, so if it works for you, more power to you. The few SAHD's that I know are very active with their kids, run the daily household routine, and are equal partners to their working wives. Personally, I could never see my husband being a SAHD because he's simply aloof to the household routine and doesn't focus on the needs of the kids. He would be playing computer games all day and reading. The thought of him staying at home scares the heck out of me. If I had to go back to working outside of the home, I would more than likely have to hire a nanny just to make sure my children were safe and taken care of.

I have never known any stay at home dads until I became an apartment manager.
So far all the ones I've witnessed, I have no respect for. I see their wives or girlfriends working long hours trying to make ends meet while they just stay home with the children with other stay at home dad buddies that come over and drink beer, bum cigarettes, and don't really do much visible nuryuring.
The moms come to the laundryroom and complain to me in my office about how their husband is so lazy, doesnt do the laundry, doesnt cook, doesnt clean, BUT she cant afford daycare so he has to be the one to stay home.
I think it's lazy man syndrome UNLESS Mom is making great money and they have agreed that Dad's job is to raise the kids and do the chores at home. It works when it's an agreement, it doesnt work when its not affordable and husband doesnt at least keep the house and kids clean and try to look for work for himself..

My DH is a SAHD. We made this decision while pregnant with our first child and she is almost 8. He does a better job than I would if I stayed at home. He takes great care of our kids and me. He cleans, cooks, does laundry and takes care of the kids and still squeezes in time to take the kids for fun at the park several days a week. I'm truly spoiled. When I get home from work we have dinner as a family and then I get to spend some time with the kids instead of having to clean or do laundry. We sacrifice a lot for this arrangment and it isn't always easy financially, but I would do it exactly this way if I had to make the choice again.

He does take some heat from other men because he doesn't have a "real job". We alway offer to let somebody else step into his shoes for one day...but so far we don't have any takers.

L-a-z-y lazylazylazy is my first thought.
My second thought is not so nice!

I think it is nice but I feel a bit uncomfortable around them at playdates and stuff.

There was one guy at the gymnastics/dance studio who's wife was a highly paid engineer of some sort and she made a LOT of money. He could stay home and he built and refurbished computers to sell. He was very nice but it was so hard for me to let my granddaughter go to their house for playdates. I know he was a good person but my mind just went to a bad place when I was considering letting her go.

In our house, me ac/dc my husband feel that a man is supposed to work. He plays all the time and tells me hes going to be a sahd, but then he said men are supposed to be the providers. it if works for some, thats cool. As long as the bills are paid, the house is clean, I gifts it works for some, but I feel the same way about sahm.. It was hard for me for s year to stay home and just be as night.student last year, but thats me

What is yours? just wondering..