What Do I Do? - Rochester,MN

C.,
You may want to have him evaluated by a speech pathologist. Some kids have problems with food because of issues with their mouths and a speech therapist can identify those things. When my son was younger, he was evaluated and I was shocked to hear that he wasn't fully chewing his food or using his tongue properly so eating more complex foods was hard for him. You also mention that he doesn't speak much but he's in his room for hours on time-outs because he's so horrible. When a child has problems communicating with words, that child will revert to behavior in order to communicate and this behavior is frequently viewed as being naughty. Both of my sons were speech delayed and when I stopped viewing their behavior as an intentional act of being naughty and tried to see what the behavior was communicating, I was amazed at how quickly the naughtiness disappeared when I stared "listening" to them.

But 2 year old is a difficult age even if there are no delays. Most 2 year olds will go through eating jags where they don't want to eat or they only want to eat one thing all the time. I chose not to have battles over food. It only made us all unhappy. All you can do is chose what, when and where the food is served. You can't force a child to eat. (or at least you shouldn't.)

Contact your school district and ask for an Early Childhood Evaluation. Its free and if they decide that your son would benefit from some speech services, that is free too. It can't hurt, and it just might help.

Hang in there. It will get better.

Kids go through stages with eating. They don't eat and hardly touch anything for weeks and then all of a sudden they eat you out of a home.

I've NEVER EVER made eating a big deal ever with my older daughter. I've never made her eat, I've never made her clean her plate etc. I don't care how much or when she eats. Because of that because food has never been a dramatic power struggle in our house we've NEVER had issues. My daughter has free range of the pantry and fridge and can get whatever she wants. She's had this since she was about 3 or 4. She's never gone crazy with snacks or pretends to be full and then chows down on junk none of that. I try and keep a great variety of healthy choices and snacks in the house and I always cook a good dinner and we have no problems. To many parents make to big of a deal about eating and then wonder why they fight with their kids at every meal.

Just relax he'll eat when he's hungry. If your worried about the kinds of food he's eating don't buy fruit snacks and things like that. Buy fruits, yougurts, cheese, stuff like that. And it's typical toddler behavior to graze or snack all day. They are notorious for not wanting to sit and have a meal with the family. You can always have the rule they don't have to eat but they have to sit with the family as a family.

Hi C.! Kids go through phases where they don't seem to eat a thing and then WHOA! they eat like crazy! Every time my kids go through a no eating phase I panic....and then I remember that they do grow out of it! So, don't worry too much Mom!
I hate to tell you but V8 Splash is nothing but junk food. It has a bunch of sugar and that really does a number on their appetites. A good quality vitamin will do alot more for his body.
Keep offering fruits and veggies, whole grain crackers and string cheese, etc. through out the day and water or milk to drink and he will eat it eventually! Age 2 is sometimes hard to get them to eat at what we think is the "right" time but as time goes on he will learn!
Don't be too hard on yourself! We all go through the eating battle!

Hi C.
It sounds like you both have cabin fever. In my personal opion you should take him outside it is warm enough if you put his winter jacket and a hat and thin gloves. take him to a mall with a play area if you don't want to take him outside, but GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I am sure you already do but make sure you are giving him lots of positive praise and very little negitave praise. this always helped my children start to act better. when they knew I would be proud of them for playing nicely and for helping with a chore. 2 can be a tough age. You may want to look in to joining a moms group or a playgroup so you both can have a little break. Good luck and hang in there T.

First of all he is only 2 years old. I know he may be being "horrible" but he is just a child. You need to set boundries and as for the 1/3 of the day in time out I really can not see how that can be good for him and it is probably not working if he still spends so much time there. Does he have toys in his room? If he just goes to his room and plays when he is in time out it is not really a time out and will not be effective. You should set up a timeout area. A chair in a corner maybe. Somewhere that if he misbehaves you can tell him what he has done wrong and that it is time for a time out and make sure that he stays there for 2 min.

As for the food, maybe try different healthy foods. Give him a couple choices. Maybe an apple with peanut butter or string cheese for a snack....Sweet potatoe fries or twice baked potatoes with brocolli mashed in topped with cheese are great for lunch and dinner sides. Mix it up and make food fun!! Sandwiches or fruit cut into fun shapes, veggies with some dip, fruit with yogurt to dip, kids love to dip things. I think if you maybe try to make his food healthy and make it look fun he may be more apt to trying and eating it. Dont resort to junk! Keep trying, things will get better. All kids go through different stages and changes.

You touch on a lot of issues, but first let me address the connection between behavior and diet. V8 Splash is not a healthy choice. The first two ingredients are water & high fructose corn syrup, and it only contains 10% juice. (I think it's called "Splash" because it has just a splash of fruit and vegetables in it. LOL.) Basically you are giving your son a big glass of sugar water whenever you give it to him. I participate in WIC, and V8 Splash is mentioned *by name* on their prohibited list. Spaghetti O's are highly processed and also contain high fructose corn syrup. If your son is misbehaving, it's likely because he is jacked up on sugar and sweeteners.

A child your son's age should be drinking no more than 4 ounces (2/3 cup) of juice each day, and it should be 100% juice, not a "juice drink". Juicy Juice makes inexpensive 100% juices. Dilute juice with equal parts water--this lessens the sweetness, ensures your son is getting plenty of water, and makes the juice "stretch".

Many of the foods geared towards kids are NOT healthy at all. They may contain 100% of this vitamin or extra iron or whatever, but a lot of time it's been injected in (it's not naturally occuring) and these foods also contain junk like HFCS and artificial colors. My mom bought my son some Gerber Graduate Sweet Potato Puffs. The first 2 ingredients are flour and sugar. Nice.

Don't go by what the front label says, or what the commercials say. You have to be smarter than the marketers. Turn the bottle or container around and read the list of ingredients on the back--I can not stress this enough. Ingredients are listed in order of quantity, so the first couple of ingredients listed are what the food is mostly made out of. If an ingredient listed is not something you could find on a farm or garden, or you have no idea what it is, think twice before eating it.

Your son will poop better, behave better, and eat better if you back away from processed foods. I am not saying you should NEVER eat boxed mac 'n cheese or potato chips, but they should be a once or twice a month treat, not something he eats weekly.

You can sort of springboard off of what he already likes. Since he likes Spaghetti O's, why not make him homemade spaghetti with a vegetable marinara sauce. The best "fruit snack" of all is simply fruit. If he's used to the texture of processed fruit snacks, he may like dehydrated fruit, such as raisins, prunes, or apple rings. Try to offer 1 fruit and 1 vegetable at each meal. I don't believe in "forcing" kids to eat anything, but if it's offered again and again and that's all there is to eat, they start trying it, and often they like it. With a picky eater, it's easy to fall back on their one or two favorite foods, but this only makes the problem worse.

All in all, I think your son's pattern of eating--sometimes a lot, sometimes none--is completely normal. Offer him 3 meals and 2-3 snacks each day, and he will eat when he is hungry.

Eating healthier can cost a little extra money, but my philosophy is you either spend the money now on decent food, or you spend it later on Miralax or managing Type II Diabetes.

It does sound like he has cabin fever.... I have to respectfully disagree on the weather--it's spring! We're not talking below zero windchill--it is definitely warm enough to be outside. Put a hat and coat on him and let him run around. At this age, even just 15-20 minutes of outside time can do wonders. If the weather is really not to your liking, just get out of the house. Many community centers and schools have open gym time. The children's section of most public libraries have toys and encourage "free play" and noise. He needs exercise in order to poop good, feel good, and sleep good. ;-)

Putting him in time out for 1/3 of the day is only going to make his behavior worse. He is too young to be cooped up in his room like that. At his age, I think diversion, diversion, diversion is key (vs. punishment). Timeouts are appropriate, but they lose their effectiveness if he has 10/day. Also, a good rule of thumb for timeouts is 1 minute per year of age, so 2 minutes for your son. As another mom pointed out, his room may not be the best place for a timeout.... I saw an episode of Nanny 911 where the nanny bought a small rug and that was the "timeout" rug. The kids had to stand on it when they were naughty, and face the wall and be quiet until the timer went off... Just a thought. Good luck.