I'll share mine. To get my daughter (three) to eat her healthy food, I tell her it will make her pretty and smart. And to limit the bad foods, that they don't make us pretty or smart at all, so we can only have a little. I'm surprised how well this works. I wish I had a dozen more just like it, but its my only ace in the hole. So thought I'd pick your brains.
mini m&m's! hahaha. Have you ever tried the "1-2-3" for some reson it works wonders-but you have to mean what you say (:
We used to have races. How fast can we give you your bath?
Then the next night, can dad give you a bath faster than mom?
How many toys can you carry back to your room?
The next day can you carry more than you did yesterday?
At a restaurant, when she looked like she may be getting a little antsy.. "Do you want to go outside and yell?" Then one of us would go outside and we would allow her to yell as loud as she wanted, but only 3 times. then she would go back in and say, "I feels all better. I got to yell."
"I really need your help. "
"I cannot do this with out your help."
"Thank you, you are the best helper."
Sometimes, we would forbid her from eating healthy foods.. "No you are not allowed to eat the spinach. It is a healthy food. You will only eat candy for dinner. " She would totally freak out and beg to "eat the healthy foods.. No candy.."
Oh, I can't wait to read the other moms' answers. :)
Here are some of mine...
*You need to learn how to (brush your teeth/eat all your veggies/go to sleep in your own bed/etc.) so you can be ready to be __ years old.
*Who loves Mom/Dad enough to (take out the trash/set the table/help outside/etc.)? Responses--I don't want to do it, but I'll do it because I love mom! --No, *I'll* do it because I love mom! --But I love mom too, I want to do it!
*We need to clean the living room. Everyone pick up ten things and put them away. Then a little while later, everyone picks up ten more things and puts them away. A little bit later... ok, ten more things. Until it's done.
*Also for cleaning, I turn on a timer and everyone cleans like mad for 5/10 minutes. Then we get a break before turning the timer on again for more cleaning.
*When their whole floor is a mess... Put away all the ponies. Now put away all the dress up. Take a break, now put away all the play kitchen things, etc.
*When I know they haven't eaten nearly enough to be full, but they insist they are... How old are you? 5? Ok, eat 5 more bites and then you can be finished. 5 elephant bites, not 5 mouse bites.
To get my son who is two to help clean up his toys I tell him that Hailey our Jack Russell will play with them when he is asleep. He doesn't like her to get his toys because she slobbers on them. So he helps put them away so they don't get slobbery. I also tell him he can be my big helper and he loves to be my big helper.
i don't know how "clever" it is, but what works best for my 4 year old is helping him, or at least giving the illusion that i am helping him - like holding the bucket while i tell him, "okay quick, get all the cars and put them in here!" and then helping him make sure he got them all. then he also "helps" me do my chores, move laundry, unload the dishwasher, etc.
last night i had to make a quick trip to the store, and i was amazed at how helpful he was. we needed four things, bread, tp, dish soap, and pullups. he helped me keep track of the list (yes, i have a retarded memory!) then when we got home and i had to let the dog out, carry a bunch of stuff inside (you know how it is when you get home after work/school), and i handed him the bags and asked him to put them on the kitchen table for me - i came back after letting the dog go potty and he had put every item in the correct room for me! i couldn't believe it. he got major big-boy helper kudos for that one. and he was so proud of himself!
When my children were toddlers, I was get them to cooperate more during toothbrushing time if I added sound effects (crash, boom, ka-pow!) while I was brushing their teeth. It always amused them and I was usually able to keep them interested long enough to get their teeth thoroughly brushed.
As for picking up stuff and clean up their room, they are more likely to cooperate without grousing if I turn it into a race or competition of some sorts. I did this a lot when they were younger but not so much now because I'm of the mind that this is what they should be doing and I shouldn't have to make things ultra fun all the time just to get them to do what is expected of them.
Sticker charts worked for chores, and then dimes worked. Until your children really learn the value of money, little money can do wonders! Now, she'll do anything I ask, just because I ask and have talked to her about the importance of pitching in. Basically, "If you help me get all this done, we'll have an hour to do ____ but if I have to do it myself, you'll have to play by yourself until bed."
That's all the help I have, I guess. We have a rule that you have to try everything on your plate, but if you don't like it, don't eat it. I've served her broccoli a 100 times, and I figure one day she'll eat more than one bite. :)
I have a "point system." My daughter earns 1 to 2 points every time she does something positive. When she accumulates enough points she gets to "cash it out." It is usually a trip to her favorite store to get something to play with. I aslo tried giving her negative points for bad behaviors. But this hasn't worked well so far.
I did a lot of these too. Mine are older now.
We used to use a timer
I see something yellow~then they have to pick up all the yellow things and the last one gets a YEA!! then I see something blue, white, green
We stand in the door or somewhere outside the room and I say on your mark get set GO!! they have to pick up as much as they can while I count to 20, 50, 100. Sometimes I skip numbers.
I sat in their rooms and say pick up all the stuffies, clothes, trucks, I still do this with my 10 yo
I am not above bribery. Skittles, M&M's, Nerds, trips to the library, pool
When learning to dust, I hid change under the things they needed to move.
Well, my son is 8 and while I did use the "race" appraoch a LOT when he was younger, now I find that giving the request and immediately saying "Thank You!" works pretty well.
"Go get dressed--thanks!" seems to put him a little off-kilter and he obeys! LOL
