Weird Remark from Daycare Worker??

Wow, you must be HYPER sensitive right now. I see nothing wrong with her comment at all, are you leaving something out?

She was not trying to make you feel bad. She was just feeling sorry for herself. Don't take it personally! :)

Innocent comment.

You're taking it too far.

Sometimes private things are better kept private, kwim?

Don't take offense where none was intended.

She is just sad about her own situation, and speaking the truth about yours. I had secondary infertility, so I feel your pain. Childless couples had no sympathy for me because I couldn't have "another" child when they didn't even have one. They simply wanted what I already had.

You should not be offended or worried. Goodness, she doesn't want YOUR kid, she wants one of her own.

Her comment was perfectly innocent,I find your reaction strange to be honest. For me the comment would just be a reminder of how blessed I am.

Innocent remark. You are fortunate to have a little one to come home to daily. Unfortunately, she has not been so blessed with a child she longs for.

As for her taking your child.... That borders on paranoid.

This woman wants a family just like you have and she's reached out to you because you are both going through a tough time conceiving now.

I'd keep my private business private and not share it with others who are not dear friends or family,

I've been told by husband's co-worker, that I was lucky I had someone to go home to. (She is older and recently divorced.) I NEVER thought that she would try to take my husband or so something crazy. That's really, incredibly paranoid.

You are overreacting right into paranoid levels. There is nothing to be concerned about. She does not have a child. You have a little one, and you get to go home to her. You ARE lucky, and she hopes for that love some day. There is NOTHING hurtful, weird, concerning, etc...about that sentiment.

When my oldest was little, everyone (teachers, strangers, family, friends) used to walk up to me and say "I want him!" Talk about a paranoia inducing "compliment"!

Her comment wasn't over the line, nor is she suggesting she wants your kid. Honestly, if she's infertile, "you will get pregnant when the time is right" probably hurt like hell, and she was expressing that as politely as possible.

You are in your stuff. She's in hers. No one was intentionally rude and no one was really over the line. Let it go, L.. Let it go.

-e

PLEASE let this go. She has said to you what she feels and thinks, which millions of women struggling to conceive feel and think. However, most of them don't go around saying it. And only a tiny, tiny percentage end up crazy. She must feel like you two are friends in this part of your lives.

If you tell her that you are offended, you're going to make her uncomfortable being around you AND your child.

What you MIGHT want to do to prevent the commentary is tell her that you and your husband have decided to take a break from trying to conceive, and you wish her well in her endeavors. If she says more stuff about trying, nod and smile and change the subject to your son and how he did during the day.

It is astounding sometimes how VERY focused women who are trying to have a baby get. It's all they can think about. It doesn't mean that they are going to steal someone else's child.

Totally innocent.
And frankly, she's got a point. Try to lighten up and recognize the blessing you have already, while she is faced with the possibility that she may not.

As you know, when you are TTC, it can be very disappointing at times. Maybe she was feeling that way today. I think instead of flipping out on her, I would be more sensitive to her feelings. "...when the time is right" might have been a little insensitive on your part. Hopefully, next time you'll have better words of encouragement prepared for when you speak with her.

Totally innocent. People often have the "grass is always greener" mentality, where they tend to notice what othe people have and not what they don't have.

It's a lot like dating. I was a very late bloomer and watched some of my friends go through boyfriend after boyfriend while I stayed home watching tv and feeling sorry for myself. When break ups would occur what I really wanted to say was, "At least you've had a boyfriend." But that wouldn't have been a particularly nice or helpful thing to say.

If she meant anything by it, it was just that she would really like to have a baby. Next time just give her a genuine smile and say, "Hang in there. It doesn't always happen right away."

Stop sharing the fact that you are TTC with people who aren't in your immediate family and you'll stop getting odd comments.

I think it was innocent.

I think you're reading way too much into it . . . was it a very polished or considerate comment on her part? No. But she works with kids all day and desperately wants one herself, so it's probably something that's on her mind alot. Unless there is more to the story then I would not worry about it. I try to not take offense easily.

ETA: I don't blame you for being hurt though.

Innocent comment. Maybe the hormone treatments are making you overly sensitive. If this isn't the way you typically react, make sure it's not a side effect of the TTC treatments ( I don't know what they are like, so I possibly am totally off base, but I'm just assuming that the hormones would have a similar effect as PMS oversensitivity).

I think your mind is being overactive. Calm down. She was just stating that while you are both trying to conceive, you are blessed to already have a child and she hasn't had one yet. I highly doubt she is about to Hand That Rocked the Cradle you. Let it go.

I think your over reacting. I think she was just speaking her feelings. Which seem normal. Not for you to feel guilty.

Innocent remark, maybe jealous. Ttc is VERY hard when the struggle is for your first. Don't read into it.

I think you're overreacting. I also think it was inappropriate for her to say that to a client. Maybe try to keep your distance from her at drop off/pick up. If she continues making inappropriate comments, speak with the director and let her know you're uncomfortable with some of the statements this woman is making.

Interesting question. I wasn't there to hear the tone of her voice, but if I had said, "Well, at least you have sweet hugs to go home to," the ONLY thing I can even imagine going through my mind would be, "but I don't even have that yet (sigh)." It may be my Asperger's blocking me, but I can find no offense or threat in that statement.

With that in mind, I think reassurance to her would be exactly right.

She's probably just bummed out. I would let it go and make minimal answers from here in. Her TTC is really not your concern, nor is yours her concern. If you don't feed the commentary, she won't keep it up.

I really don't think she was trying to make you feel bad. I think she's just trying to make you feel better, since she has the same problem and knows how sad one can get. I think she was just trying to get you to look on the "bright side." It's kind of like when you've got a lot of problems happening all at once, then you stop and think, "well, at least I have a healthy family."

Innocent comment, let it go.

I think she meant it innocently.

If you wanted to lighten the mood, you could say something like "your hubby is such a nice guy - I bet his hugs are sweet to go home to!"

Before you go to the director with your concern, just distance yourself and rely to her with a warm smile but no personal talk.

Going to the director when your child is at the center is a big no no.

I always think that a person deserves a chance to correct before a boss is notified. Wouldn't we all want that for ourselves or our husbands?

Innocent, but apparently emotionally charged, comment. I would assume your child is safe!

Innocent. I'd only let my family know I was TTC if they asked. Otherwise, it's really no one else's business. Especially day care people.