Weaning My 21 Month Old Son from the Breast

I know you don't want to hear this, but the nurse at your pediatrician's office was right. I breast fed all 5 of my children, but I always stopped when they started getting teeth. I know cold turkey sounds cruel, but this is truly the best way. Each time your son reaches for you give him something else to drink or distract him in some way with something else and give him a drink. In time, not long, he will quit trying. This may seem cruel to you, but truly it is not. This is the best way for your child. You make a decision and hold to it, that way your child knows what him boundaries are, no wavering back and forth which is probably what you have been doing until now. No wonder your son is confused. It is best to hold to this with most all decisions when it comes to your children. We never allowed our children to sleep with us. The sooner you get him out of this the better and easier for him and you. Resolve the breast issue first, wait a week or so and then tackle the sleeping issue. Don't do everything at once, that would be too much change for him to handle at once. You know children do not like change, but they must get used to it at times. Our youngest is 17years and still does not like change, but deals with it when need be. Good luck.

I can't give you any personal help, but have you seen the website "Ask Moxie (moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie)? It seems like the women who post there are fairly familiar with toddlers nursing and might be able to give you some advice.

Good luck with your toddler!

This is very challenging, but also temporary. Tell him there is no more milk. I told my 18 month old girl, who only nursed at night, that there wasn't anymore milk. I held her that whole night and she fell asleep. The next night, I did the same thing. About one week later, I offered the breast, and she frowned and kind of suckled, but it tasted funny to her or somthing. The crib issue. Dr. Phil says that babies can only cry so long. Make sure he is fed and diapered/dry and put him in that crib at a decent bedtime hour. Put his toys in there and tell him, it's time to go to sleep. He will cry his eyes out loudly,tamtrums,banging, etc. My baby cried for the first night about 45 minutes. I had to close the door, I couldn't take it. But I watched the clock. The next night, it was about 15 minutes. Night 3, I laid her down and she reached for her little pillow and fell right to sleep. It was liberating to say the least. He says they won't usually cry more than one hour. You just have to make sure all his needs are met.... God Bless you and your husband.... Take care,

L.

HI. I RECENTLY WEANED MY DD AT 18 M0. 0LD. SHE WAS A MAJ0R BB GIRL AND WAS D0ING IT M0RE FR0M HABIT/C0MF0RT THAN N0URISHMENT. I TRIED EVERYTHING, I TH0UGHT. I TRIED THE STUFF U PUT 0N UR NAILS THAT MAKES IT TASTE BAD S0 U D0NT BITE THEM. IT W0RKED 0NCE THEN SHE D0VE IN. S0, I WENT AND B0UGHT TH0SE SMALL R0UND BANDADES AND PUT THEM 0N MY NIPPLES. W0RKED LIKE A CHARM. SHE NEVER G0T MAD 0R UPSET. SHE W0ULD JUST L00K AT THEM AND SMILE AT ME. IN A WAY SHE WEANED HERSELF. I JUST KEPT THEM 0N ALL THE TIME UNTIL FINALLY SHE WAS D0NE. I W0RE THEM F0R TW0 WEEKS. SHE HAS N0T NURSED SINCE JAN. 1. G00D LUCK T0 Y0U. H0PE THIS W0RKS.

Hi P.,

As much as you don't want to say "no" to your child, you must do so to establish that you are the parent and the one who makes the decisions for his health and well being. You cannot abdicate this position to a toddler. You are his primary care giver and you must decide and carry out your decisions, even if it means he will cry. He will get over it, and in doing so, he will learn what his boundaries are. If you don't do this now, imagine what struggles you'll have when he reaches his teenage years and defiance is a regular part of his life. Will you let him make all the decisions then too, with all the dangers that are out there? Whatever guilt you have now must be put aside for his greater good. When he pushes you to sit, DO NOT. When he demands "booby," SAY NO and then DO NOT GIVE IN. Although this may be difficult right now, you will both benefit from it later on.

S.

Hi P.,
I too was stuck nursing a 22 month old, dependent on my milk to go to bed at night. The thing that worked for me was separation. I was away for a weekend and my husband had to put him down. When I returned I refused his request and just held him and sang to him like I would do after nursing. Fortunately, he gave up easily and that was that.

I wish you luck - just think about that freedom you'll feel once he's weaned and stay strong!!

M.

Hi P.,
I completely weaned both of my kids at about 26 months. Think of weanign as a process, not an event. Your toddler's reasons and times for nursing differ now from when he was an infant. In effect, he has been weaning. To wean gradually at this age, try one nursing session at a time. As you take away time from the breast, make sure you fill that void with something else. Does he have an attachment object like a toy or blanket? If not, this is a good time to find one for him. Engage him in activity or replace the comfort time with that special comfort object.

By about 23-24 months, I had gotten down to one nursing aday with mine. For my son, it was how he got down for a nap. For my daughter, it was how she slept at night. BTW -- both of mine weaned from my bved at roughly the same time as they weaned from the breast, but that doesn't mean your's will necessarily.

I'd be glad to talk to you more about this if you want to email me privately.

You will not find any single answer from anyone that will give your son an easy time with it. In my opinion even slowly weaning your son will be very emotionally tough because he will not understand why "sometimes" is ok and will most likely give you enough crying and grief to "give in". You may just want to expect it to be a tough time and either have your husband take him for an entire day and you leave the house to give you both an emotional break or just toughen up and tell him that "big boys like Daddy don't drink from the breast- it is only for babies and you are not a baby- you are a big boy now". After a couple of days, he will get it. Unfortunately for you, your body will have to go through the drying up process, too, which will make your boobs SO sore even the slightest touch will hurt. Take some Tylenol, wear a tight bra and get some cabbage. If it gets bad, call your doctor. You will need to manually express a little to relieve yourself as your body goes through the process.

After he is weaned, the next "big boy step" will be to start sleeping in his big boy bed. Not a crib. He will need a toddler or twin bed or something to feel like he is "graduating" to a big bed.

And if the weaning from the breast is going too horribly, you may do the room switch at the same time just to get it all over with. It will be tough, but you will both live. And be happier once you have resolved those issues.

Good luck- I hope you find some things that will work for you. It will not be easy, so expect emotional meltdowns from both yourself and your son. Tyr to maybe do some extra special "big boy and mommy things" to reward yourselves for moving to the next phase.

Amy