Weaning Advice for a 1 Year Old

I can think of several weaning strategies to suggest to you but my very best idea is to contact your local La Leche League Leader and ask to borrow some books from their group library. "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" is a fantastic resource, and details how to wean or how to keep nursing a toddler. "How Weaning Happens" is also great, with lots of info about gentle weaning techniques to keep mom and baby happy and comfortable. "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" has details about lactation and fertility, and "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is about nursing two babies who are not twins. (I realize that's not exactly what you asked about, but I thought you might be interested to know it's fine and healthy and does not always interfere with fertility, especially beyond the first six months.)
If you are struggling with biting, you should be able to find info at www.llli.org or by talking to your local Leader. All La Leche Legaue services (phone help, fun meetings, lending library) are free. It's OK to nurse a child who has teeth. I think nursing is a mom's first opportunity to teach her baby manners, and there are several ways you can discourage the nipping--my favorite is to push Baby into the breast when I feel him start to clench, so that he has to release to breathe freely. It takes only a second, so don't think I'm sadistic! ;)
You're right that you'll have to wean to something, whether that's more food or extra snuggles or whatever.
There is new info about storing human milk at www.llli.org, or you might look into www.milkshare.com.
It's nice to remember that weaning is a process and you're already doing it. The moment your baby takes a bite of something besides your milk, you're on your way to weaning. Gradual weaning is not at all painful or distressing. If you want to speed it up, I really recomend those books--they are treasure troves of info I could not find anywhere else and I was relieved to find weaning advice that was gentle and respectful to my baby.
I have a freind who says the word "wean" comes from the same Latin root as the word for "ripening." So she thinks babies are like fruit on a tree--and the mom is the tree. If the baby is "ripe" and ready to wean, it comes off the tree/mom with just a gentle tug. If he's not ready, he'll cling and cling and it will be traumatic to pull the baby/fruit away. This means nursing is still a legitimate need and it would be harder than it's worth to eliminate it. (Personally, nursing into toddlerhood has saved me from dealing with a million tantrums because I had a sure-fire cure-all ready to soothe my baby!) Only you as the mom can know what's best and evaluate how your baby responds.
Congratulations on nursing for a year! You and your baby will reap the benefits of your breastfeeding relationship for the rest of your lives! Your future baby is also lucky to come to such a responsive, sensitive mom! Best wishes!

How wonderful that you have been able to nurse for a year! What a wonderful thing you have done for you and for your baby! My advice would be to contact your local La Leche League leader (www.llli.org to find your local). They can tell you some wonderful tips on weaning with love and making sure all of your emotional needs are met. Just so you know, you don't HAVE to stop when they are 1. Breast milk is a wonderful food for them, in fact, the best food and you can get him down to one or two feedings a day, still share that time, but not do it as much, if you want to. I have two friends who nursed their babies far beyond 1 and one who even nursed while she was pregnant with her next one and continued nursing them both when she had the new baby! Lots of things are possible!

"How Weaning Happens" is a great book for information on all the things you're wondering about in this note. also, if your periods have returned, there should be no worry about fertility. in fact, you could nurse one baby all the way through another pregnancy. "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" is also another wonderful book about the emotional and physiological effects of breastfeeding or not, and about of course, your mothering through nursing. The American Acadamy of Pediatrics recommends one year MINIMUM, and how awesome that you've nursed your little guy his whole first year, you've given him the best start. The World Health Organization actually recommends TWO years of breastfeeding for ALL CHILDREN OF THE WORLD. These are minimum recommendations, of course not requirements, but recommendations. If you are loving nursing and worried about how this will effect your son emotionally, perhaps consider waiting a little longer. you know him best, listen to your gut. also, with regards to storing milk for baby #2, your milk changes and is designed to fit baby's needs right now. a one year old has very different needs than a newborn, and the milk really shouldn't be kept that long anyway (if you're not pregnant yet and would still have nine months of waiting for a baby once you are :) If you want to continue giving your son the nutrients in your milk without actually nursing him, a friend of mine would put her breastmilk in oatmeal and other foods for her son, he could also have pumped milk in a sippy cup. whether or not he "should" be hungry in the middle of the night is individual to each child. and he may not necessarily sleep better if you stop nursing. sleep patterns aren't necessarily dictated by nursing or non-nursing babies. good luck. also, check out a LLL meeting in your area. LLLI.org will give you information on meetings in your area. ____@____.com if you'd like to talk one on one and two area meetings in the salt lake city ut area can be found at www.lllofsandy.blogspot.com or www.lllofmurray.blogspot.com for more breastfeeding support and information.

Good job nursing for a year! If he is only nursing a few times a day, then take away his favorite feeding first. Make a new special activity for momma time. Wait several days and eliminate the final feeding.

If he is not eating after 6:00pm, he may very well be hungry in the middle of the night. A friend of mine fed her daughter baby cereal in the middle of the night until she realized if she fed her some for a snack right before bed, it helped a lot!

I don't know about saving milk for another baby - do you need that much? How long can you store frozen milk? I don't think for over a year. It'll come back, though!

Good luck!

Hi S.,
It sounds like you have such a sweet relationship with your son. I loved reading your post because I can see that connection between you two. Don't feel like you have to wean him if you are not ready. There is no set date on the clock to do so. Also, don't let his teeth hinder you. If he starts to nibble, just remove him from the breast and tell him no sternly. If he is biting, then he is not nursing and probably not hungry. However, it does sound like you are on your way to weaning. I typically cut out one feeding at a time, and both the need to nurse and the supply of milk are diminished over time. It is not something that I usually rush. If you are concerned with engorgement, then you don't want to pump when you are not nursing. It is a simple supply/demand thing. The more you nurse or pump, the more milk you will have. If you do have an issue with engorgement, then you can put a cold cabbage leaf over each of your breasts until they (the leaves) become room temperature. Your milk supply will decrease significantly with this technique. I know, it sounds weird, but it works.
I also wanted to comment about soy milk. I would not give this to my son if I were you. Soy has a high amount of estrogen, which is not healthy. Elevated estrogen can lead to cancer. You might want to research it. mercola dot com has some great articles about it. Just do a search on soy on his site. A much, much better alternative is raw goat's milk, which is the most similar to mother's breast milk in composition. You can google the westin price foundation to find a good source of goat's milk in your area.
Anyway, I hope my answer was helpful to you! Best wishes to you and your sweet family.
Blessings,
Tonya C
Mom to 6 precious children, ages 16-2

The best advice I have heard for weaning a toddler is don't offer but don't refuse. Once you start telling him no when he wants to nurse he will feel rejected and want to nurse even more! It is best to wean slowly and gradually. If you do get pregnant that will porbbaly dry up your milk and he will lose interest naturally, that is how my first ended up being weaned, but she was 2 1/2. Good luck but don't be in too much of a hurry. I really miss the days of nursing my babies, it is over all too quickly.

At the year mark he no longer needs food at night and should be able to go all night. Give him some milk, then brush his teeth before bedtime.

You will need to lose your milk completely as he can smell you before it will get easier. Put warm rags on your breasts and it will just take a week or a little more to ease any uncomfortable issues. If he wakes, send in your hubby as he can smell you and it will not help him settle back in without your breasts.

It is a great bonding experience but not the only way to bond either. You have to set your mind that he is old enough and what you want the end result to be. If you want to stop you need to go cold turkey and redirect him with the sippy cups.

There has never been an instance a child needs therapy due to stopping breast feeding. He will get over it when your milk supply is gone. It is typically harder for moms to stop then it is for the children. Just stop, cuddle him still all the time and there is no loss in bonding due to stop breast feeding, cuddling in your lap for a book or a cup of milk is just as important. My friend kept it going because of the same concern, her son is now THREE and still has a hard time. It actually became her problem of not wanting to let go then it was her son needing it any longer. Habits broken now are much easier then later. It is a normal process to go through.
If he has a full dinner, a sippy cup before bed then he should be fine all night.
Let him fuss a bit and see if he can retrain himself to going back to sleep himself.

check out la leche league international they have tons of info on there. You might also look into a local meeting for LLL.
Also check out www.kellymom.com they have tons of great info!

I also wanted to tell you that I'm actually pregnant (second trimester), and I'm still nursing my almost 22 month old. I'm not sure if he'll be done by the time the baby gets here or not, but I do know that we are not done yet. I've tried here and there but it's obvious that he still needs it/me and honestly I still very much enjoy it most of the time!!
So anyway, if you have been having your period chances are you are fertile and won't have to worry about it, I got pregnant again on the first try. There is also no danger in nursing while pregnant (though I know it isn't for everyone) unless you have a history of preterm labor.

The next thing.
Your breastmilk changes composition as your baby gets older, and it only stays good in a deep freezer for about 6 months, so unless you nurse through at least part of the pregnancy chances are it won't be any good anyway.
There is a website called www.milkshare.com
there are lots of moms on there in desperate need of breastmilk for their child but cannot produce it. Milk banks charge $2 + per ounce of milk that gets DONATED to them and most people cannot afford it but their child really needs it. I donated about 200 oz. to a lady with a very physically handicapped child on there and it really was obviously a blessing to them, and it felt really great to be able to help out a precious child!
Well I hope you check it out, it really is worth it.
I know I didn't help much on the weaning thing, but I hope some of the websites I gave will be of help.
HTH,
S.

I am going through a similar thing, but with my 2nd. Just some things I wanted to share. I wouldn't worry about fertility, because one of the main reasons I worked on weaning my kids, both of them is because I was pregnant with another one. I weaned my daughter at 15 1/2 months and I was pregnant with my son at the time. I was down to two feedings with her, before bed and between 4 and 6 AM. I talked to her when I was ready to wean her, and explained to her she didn't need it anymore and started singing to her before bed. Then she automatically dropped the feeding between 4 and 6. I don't know if that will always work. Now with my son, I am once again yes pregant, I got pregnant about 1 month earlier this time. He just turned a year, and isn't going for the weaning business. It is possible to nurse and be pregnant at the same time, but I have to tell you I am hungry all the time, to the point I get sick of eating. I am down to 2 sometimes 3 feedings, and yes every now and then he asks for it at other times and it is really hard to say no. I 'm really not doing a good job at weaning him, but I think that when I and he are emotionally ready for it like my daughter and I were it will be easier. I still have a goal of weaning him before my husbands and my anniversary, which is Dec 18th. So we'll see. Good-luck.

You can try to distract him when he wants BM and give him a cup of milk instead. While he is drinking his milk from the cup hold him so you still have that bonding time. Or if he has the same feeding times, make sure you are out and about or outside playing. Keep away from the normal day to day things that lead to a nursing session. As for night time I put a sippy of water in Amelia's crib with her so if she gets thirsty she can drink that instead of waking up thinking she was going to get milk. That has worked really well for us for nighttime. As for pumping and saving your milk for the next baby, it wouldn't be good by then. Milk is only good for six months in a deep freezer, also a newborn needs the colostrum. Good luck.

I know that I am not the "norm" out there, but I breast fed my toddler through my entire second pregnancy. He self-weaned (I did the don't offer, don't refuse method) two weeks before my second son was born. He got to be a baby for as long as he wanted, and we didn't have to worry about the emotional break--it came naturally. Also, the World Health Organization suggests breast feeding for at least the first two years. It is still incredibly healthy for his immune system and its nutritional benefits far outweigh soy and rice milk. If you think you might want to go this route I'd be happy to talk to you about breast feeding while pregnant.
I just wanted to offer you a little different view point. Good luck with whatever you decide. Your son will follow your lead. If you don't want to breast feed anymore he will start to get the message. If you are torn it will be much harder for him, and therefore for you both.

J.

The big thing I can suggest is to stop pumping. Your body is going to match how much milk it creates to how much is being used. You may feel engorged for a few days, but your body will quickly adjust.

If you really are ready to wean (and I say this because sometimes we think we are but we really aren't) then first end all daytime ffeedings. Then take out the morning feeding. Yes, he'll probably wake up still. Give him a cup and play with him, maybe even snuggle. Cut out the bedtime feeding last. Just be patient - he is going to keep asking for a little while.

i weaned by the hour by saying between this time and that, i will not nurse, give him a sippy instead and food. i kept taking away nursing times from him until he was fully weaned

As for freezing breast milk for the next baby, you can't. Breast milk is only good for 3 months after freezing and 48 hours in the fridge. The nutritional content of breast milk also changes as your child grows and his nutritional needs change. By the end of the first year, the breast milk is mostly water due to your child getting nutrition from other sources. Breast milk pumped now would not meet the needs of a new baby.
Breast milk is produced by supply and demand. If you don't pump after feeding your son, you won't make as much. This will help with the weaning and engorgement you may feel.
As you stated, there is lots of advice on how to wean. Only you can decide what will work best for you. Good luck. Also, breastfeeding is not a form of contraception. Many women think this and end up pregnant very quickly after delivering their baby.

D. RN, Labor and Delivery, mother of 5 active boys

Breast milk is still super nutritious even for a one year old. Maybe you could express some each day for your son to drink out of a sippy. As long as you breast feed or give him breast milk, the healthier he will be. Maybe take 6 more months of breast milk since you have so much anyway. I would have given anything to have that much milk! I also have a friend that breast fed her baby at age 2 up until she delivered her next baby. She thought it was great! Bottom line is, just because your son is 1, it doesn't mean you have to stop breastfeeding.

Milk changes as the baby grows, so the milk you have now wouldn't be appropriate for the new baby. I think it's only good for 6 months, anyway. As far as engorgement goes, the best I found was cabbage leaves in my bra. Sounds weird, but another mom just thanked me for the idea and said it worked great for her, too. I didn't even have to take pain relievers if I kept the cabbage fresh. The colder the better. Seemed to also alleviate some milk production, although that's just conjecture. My son quit cold turkey, so I really needed pain relief and this did it. I found chocolate milk (barely not white) and yogurt worked as good replacements for nursing. You can get goat and buffalo yogurt at health food stores. Pricey, but they work. GL!

I would repeat what Sally posted. LLLI has helped me tremendously, and those books are wonderful.

The belief that lactation affects fertility is a myth that has led to a lot of 11 months apart siblings! :) I think the way it goes is that some women stimulate let down every hour to inhibit the return of their menses. If you're already back on your cycle, nursing won't interfere with conception.

Just an FYI: there are many benefits to nursing toddlers listed on Le Leche League's website.

So first on fertility. Someone did say that as long as you're ovulating again, breastfeeding doesn't affect fertility, which I agree with. (But I don't agree that there is no relationship - frequent breastfeeding usually delays the return of ovulation.)

To prevent engorgement, wean very gradually to let your body regulate the supply. Since you're worried about the night feeding, leave that one for last - start with the bedtime nursing. As for storing milk for the next baby, Womanly Art of Breastfeeding says that milk will store in a SEPARATE freezer kept at a constant 0 degrees for 6 or more months. You might be pushing that limit with 9+ months.

I would definitely wean by replacing the nursing with another activity together. Some ideas are reading a story together, cuddling (as long as that's not too tempting), a little bedtime game. This will make weaning easier and keep an emotional connection with your son.

As you wean, if you need to pump to take hte edge off of engorgement, I would just put the milk in a sippy for him. It is healthy enough for him and he wont know the difference.
You could even mix it with what he already eats. Your milk changes so much that you shouldn't hold onto it for the nests baby. it is designed for your toddler now. You couold just keep nursing if you want and once you are pregnant, take two vitamins and keep your calories up. good luck