We Are Going on Vacation....

When they're little, I agree that you should TRY to keep sleep, nap, meal schedule as much in line with her normal schedule as possible.

I don't get how a kid eats milk & potato chips on vacation. ???? Don't you eat out of prepare meals?

I take my boys on a two week trip every summer. My only goal for food is to try to get one healthy thing in them per meal...so one item of produce, something with protein, something. We spend most or all of the time in New England, so their diet becomes mostly fried seafood and cremees. And yes, that's how you spell it.

So if you can get a half an apple in her with the chips, you're good!! I know it always makes me feel better :)
Have a great vacation!!

I get anxiety really bad when we go on vacation. I too worry about schedules, meals, activities....etc... but i just pop a little pill and it helps my anxiety for the time we are away so that i can enjoy time with my family and not worry about the little stuff. I have a huge fear of flying and have a hard time in large crowds, this happy pill helps me to relax and just have fun! I know not everyone will agree with popping happy pills but it works for me and it is short lived. :)

i'm with your husband.
your vacation sounds kind of nightmarish, i must say. why did your daughter only eat milk and potato chips? who on earth allows a toddler to dictate her diet that way?
and why is a vacation a business trip? what kind of a iron-clad schedule does your daughter keep that would wreck the fun and relaxation of a vacation?
how old is she?
i think you need to unclench your buttcheeks a little, mama. this degree of control and utter lack of fun does not bode well for you child, not just for vacation but in life.
khairete
S.

Lighten up and stop micromanaging every detail.

It's called balance!!! It's your responsibility as a parent to offer nutritious foods. Why and how did she live on chips and milk? She was 3 so some adult somewhere allowed that to happen. Be a parent!!!

Don't be so rigid that no one enjoys themselves. Your daughter is 5... It not like she can't communicate with you!! Lighten up... It's vacation!!

I'm leaving early tomorrow am with my 20 yr old daughter and all we look for is a great spot by the pool or beach.

Don't be so rigid and scheduled that you don't enjoy down time with your own children. Your children will remember this and how you behaved!!! Your behavior is watched carefully... Model good behavior and don't go to extremes.

Unless there is a medical condition involved, then I would like to kindly suggest that you allow your daughter to relax, primarily by setting the "relax" standard yourself, and go completely off schedule.

After all, isn't a vacation precisely that? A change in schedule? Completely off schedule? If we took vacations and held strictly to our schedules, we'd just be working in a slightly different location. A vacation means swimming at 10 in the morning instead of sitting at your desk, or having a martini at 5 pm on your patio before heading down to the restaurant instead of rushing to get dinner ready, or hiking in the mountains instead of rushing for the bus or car pool, or wearing flip flops instead of heels and comfy clothes instead of business attire or school uniforms or anything that matches, or looking at the night sky by the campfire instead of adhering to the curfew or bedtime. It means swapping your laundry room, school room, kitchen sink, office, cubicle, and car for either the bright lights of Vegas, or the deck of a cruise ship, or a secluded spot in a quiet forest, or an exciting theme park, or the bank of a river with a bucket of bait and a bamboo pole. Can you imagine a travel brochure that advertises "come enjoy our luxurious resort (or relaxing cruise ship, or rustic mountain cabins or campground, or theme park) and we'll wake you up at 6 am and get your boss on the phone and you can sit and work all day. We'll deliver dirty laundry to your room so you can wash it, and by the way, you'll have to cook for everyone while supervising homework. Be sure to be in bed early with no tv so you can do it again tomorrow!" Not much of a vacation, huh?

Your daughter will do fine. Yup - completely off schedule. Digging her toes in the sand, or dancing with Mickey Mouse, or roasting marshmallows, or watching a big tv from a comfy bed, or listening to birds sing in the trees, or fishing, or shopping, or splashing in a pool, enjoying milk and potato chips.

I only hope you can do the same.

What if you took a vacation from being "one of those mothers who looks at a vacation as a business trip" and you scheduled your vacation to coincide with your family trip?

What would happen?

No. I totally relax on vacation. I don't worry about rules. I do expect good behavior, but my kids know that so it's not an issue.

When they were little I did try to follow nap schedules somewhat just because overtired kids are no fun, at least mine weren't. Now my boys are older so we just relax and enjoy eating and doing whatever each of us feels like.

I hope you will be able to loosen up and enjoy your vacation to the fullest! :)

I am singing "Let it Go" from Frozen to you.

Seriously, you have got to learn how to relax and let things go. It is a vacation and she is not a baby. There is no need to have a "schedule". Your daughter is 5...let the schedule loosen up a bit and just go have some crazy fun together. If you are wound up then everyone around you will sense it and no one can have REAL fun.

Do you need to talk to a counselor about anxiety or OCD tendencies?? Just because you are "one of those mothers" doesn't make it right. It means you might have a problem that needs to be addressed. A counselor can help you discover why you feel a need to control everything and everyone around you and they can help you relax so you can enjoy life.

Your hubby isn't worried about her schedule...follow his lead. Throw the schedule out the window and go explore and have a true vacation. Go have Fun!! Leave the milk and potato chips in the past. This is an entirely new vacation...new destination. Start brand new!!

I am not following. So when she was 3 and you went on vacation, you only gave her potato chips and milk to eat??

Huh?

There's being a flexible and enjoying your vacation, and then there's just nonsense.

Your child (whatever their age past an infant really) doesn't need to stick to their exact schedule of sleeping or eating. They can eat new foods, have *fun* vacation foods for breakfast, more dessert than normal, etc. But that doesn't mean you just eat (or offer) JUNK 100% of the time.

Goodness, you can take a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch (or dinner) and eat better than just chips. Even if every other meal is pancakes and chicken nuggets from a fast food place (I hope that's not the case, but once or twice, or even 3 times on a trip is not the end of the world!)

Sure, you want to "try" to keep bed time on some semblance of normal, but that doesn't mean you can't do evening activities, either. I wouldn't try staying out late to see a movie or play or something that a squirmy, grumpy, tired kiddo would be miserable and make others miserable as well... but something outdoors where she can run around, (or lie on your lap if she's tiered) would probably be fine. Amusement parks often have fireworks at night... those would be ok, too. Be prepared to carry her back to the car at the end if you stay out too late, but otherwise, try to roll with it.

It'll be ok. Know that if you stay out late, you might not want to plan an early morning the next day (or even a terribly scheduled/busy day). Leave days with a more relaxed "schedule" in between the very structured ones.

Try to keep bedtime rituals as close to normal as possible. Take books to read (if that is part of your routine), whatever lovey she likes to sleep with, special pillow, etc. Brush teeth, into PJs, prayers, story, etc.. But EVERY.THING. doesn't have to be exactly the same.

Schedules always went out the window. It's vacation. However my kids had scheduled but could function well
If we did not stick to it. I like scheduled but I like forbid to have a life. Both my granddaughters who we babysit have schedules, but if we want to go visit of have errands they do just fine.

Where did your daughter get potatoe chips. She was three! Why would you not feed her good food. You are the parent. Good luck and try to relax and enjoy. It's not a business trip it's vacation.

Well, I think you sound a little over dramatic. I love vacations!

If you are the one in charge of feeding your daughter then don't feed her milk and chips.

Your daughter is 5 she will be fine. Breathe and enjoy. Vacation is NOT a business trip.

You don't say where you are going. I personally would not like camping with a child but I know many who do. To me it would not be vacation if I have to cook and tidy and make beds. But take me to a lakeside cabin and take out dinners and some simple breakfasts with late nights and late mornings and no set plans and I am happy. I have friends who prefers to have many activities planned each day. I prefer 1 or none.
What I am trying to say is that perhaps you should analyze what kind of vacation would be enjoyable for you and yours? Discuss with hubbie and compromise. If he wants a wild action filled vacation but you prefer sitting by a pool all day with a good book, you might do both on alternate days, or ask him to take daughter mini golfing while you have free time, and you can take daughter swimming while he rents a jet ski.
And about food: our doctor told me it is my job to put healthy food in front of my picky eater and her job to decide how much of it to eat. Our daughter is full after very few bites and then hungry again in an hour. I learned to prepare snack boxes in divided Rubbermaid containers with fruit pieces, cereal pieces and cheese, or cold cut slices, saltines and raisins. Whenever we went somewhere I would bring a container in a cooler to be able to feed her as needed. Perhaps you can pack some healthy things she likes to eat at home to take with you on vacation.
I hope you figure out what makes you be able to prepare in advance so you can relax and enjoy a vacation.

Try not to worry. Just made sure you stop at restaurants and order her items that would be familiar. Worst case scenario, she eats badly...it's only a week. Now HAVE FUN!!! :)

There is a huge difference between 3 and 5. At 5, she should understand being on vacation and changing schedules, etc.

Try to relax by pre-planning. Where are you going? You didn't mention. Is it a hotel with no option to bring your own food? In any case, bring snacks she likes and buy fruits. If you're at a restaurant, she should be able to find lots of choices on the menus (healthy and otherwise).

Try not to stress. It's vacation!! Go with the flow. And if it's chips and milk again - who cares. It's one week of her life. Just focus on having fun.

I thought a vacation was suppose to be fun without a lot of stress.
Last time she lived on milk and potato chips.
So what?
She survived.
It was only a week of vacation.
If she does the same this time, she'll survive once again.
Seeing as she's older now, she might surprise you and be different this time around.

The first time we did a family vacation our son was 4.
We always got him a kids meal where ever we ate and then he tasted things off my plate.
We discovered he loved crab cakes and all sorts of other food.
A few things he tried he didn't like but it was no big deal.
Look as this as a big fun adventure and try to relax.

We relax everything on vacations - schedules, food choices, everything. We don't get dessert on a regular basis at all, but on vacation - dessert away! We don't drink soda often, but if they want it on vacation, go for it. We don't vacation all the time and fortunately my kids prefer things like fruits and vegetables over sweets anyways, but still.

I wouldn't honestly stress about it. You'll take the relaxing part of a vacation out of it for you and your daughter. Sure, pack some healthy snacks so the options are there, but likely she won't be sitting down to eat a 20 inch greasy pizza by herself. A week of not so great choices won't ruin her for life.

Per your EDIT: who cares?!? It's fine if her diet is less than stellar for one week. She won't starver herself, if she's hungry, she will eat. Stop making this so hard. Who care if she eats chips and ice cream all week? Who cares if she eats 5 small meals versus 3 big ones? No one but you - I promise. Let her have a little freedom and enjoy this versus making it a non-vacation for everyone.

I too am confused. I don't worry about schedule at all on vacation. But this is a separate issue as compared with eating. I can ignore schedule but still make sure that when we do eat, the kids are eating food and not just junk.

One thing I do that might help you is that I always stop at a grocery store on the way to the hotel. I buy apples, grapes, and nutrigrain bars. The grapes make a good snack in the room, and apples and nutrigrain bars are super easy to throw into my bag for the day so if anyone gets munchy between meals, we have an easy healthy snack with us.

Here vacations are for letting loose, letting it all hang out, having fun, making memories, eating whatever is local and fun, staying up late ...

The years go by really fast with kids, and vacations do too. When my kids talk about "hey remember when..." it's our vacations that they talk about the most.

So I let them do what they want - they're on holiday. Kids are so structured these days, it's great to let them be free from all of that. I can't imagine having my kids on a schedule on vacation. Mine would rebel :)

I think you would enjoy it to let that all slide, or at least a little bit. Your daughter and husband probably would really enjoy it too :)

Five year olds can handle a lot more than 3 year olds can - I am sure she'll be fine.

As long as they get something to eat and get enough sleep, they're fine. I wouldn't worry so much about sticking to a schedule - just be flexible. If bedtime is off a bit, sleep in a bit the next morning.

Enjoy your vacation :) This vacation is for you too Mom!

Schedules and rules go out the window on vacation. If your daughter eats nothing but chips and milk all week long she'll survive. I'd say that you shouldn't worry about keeping a schedule and just lay back and go with the flow. Keeping a schedule will just stress you out and really if you want to be stressed out then you might as well just stay home.

It might help if we understood a little bit better what it is that you are worried about. What is it that you are afraid will happen? What kind of schedule do you have in place? What do you see preventing this from continuing while on vacation?

We've taken our boys on a vacation every summer, and there is stress involved. Kids don't always respond to "spontaneity" like we hope. What I might perceive as a "fun surprise" might be stressful to a child.

Vacations are stressful, but they are also a lot of fun!!! Sometimes we miss out on the fun in life if we cannot relax a bit and try something different or possibly scary.

When we go on vacation, we try to make many things familiar. The bedtime routine is usually the same. We do eat out, but we also eat some meals in our room and snack in our room. Those are all foods we know they like. We talk to them about what we're planning to do that day so that they can be relaxed and enjoy things. We pay attention to them when they need to take a break or just need to do something else.

The more you are able to relax and try to go with the flow (not worry too much about her schedule) the better for her. She will look to you and pay attention to how you are dealing with things. Kids need routine and predictability, but they also need to learn how to deal with things when changes occur. The more you can help her learn flexibility now, the easier it will be for her when changes are beyond your control.

This is a good thing :-)

My kids have never been on a schedule, so I might not be the best person to ask. But I thought schedules were more for the toddler & preschool years.

It can be helpful to have a predictible routine - snack after school, bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, read books then bed), movie night evey Friday - having a certain amount of predictability is good. Being on a schedule can be good at certain ages or for certain people, but for the most part it is going to hinder more than help. She's at an age where she needs to learn to be flexible. You wouldn't want her to be upset if you surprised her one day with a fun activity!

Like others I am confused by your milk and potato chips statement. For the most part we eat the same foods on vacation that we do at home. Being able to eat foods that I know I like is very important to me, and I know it's crucial for kids. We make sure our kids will be able to eat the foods they like while we're on vacation. Otherwise we will all have a difficult time.

I'm wondering if it's time to rethink the scedule in general. Flexibility is going to be so important in the next few years. Consider using the next couple of weeks to prepare both of you for this vacation.

I don't understand. Are you saying you're combining vacation with a business trip. Or do you use the term business meeting to describe how serious you take vacations. Either way, why not relax and have fun? Kids are flexible. Your daughter may get tired at a different time than the bedtime is on vacation. I'm sure there are times that your daughter is difficult. So you'll recognize the move towards a meltdown and can handle it.

If you're keeping a strict schedule at home I urge you to stop. Teaching how to deal with change is part of parenting. It's good to have a loose schedule at home but your post sounds like you're strict and unable to be flexible yourself while on vacation. Yes, see that she eats before she gets cranky. Put her to bed near the same time you have at home. In my experience even those guidelines can't be used all of the time at home.

At 5, your daughter is better able to handle change than when she was 3. After all if she isn't in preschool now she will be in school next year. School has a basic schedule but not a rigid one inside the classroom. Fellow students will behave differently. Teacher will make changes needed in different situations. Your daughter really needs to be able to handle change. She needs to lear to sccept change now while you're there to encourage her.

I suggest if I've interpreted your post close to right I suggest you get some help for yourself. Sounds like you're not able to enjoy vacations or time changes. Do you need that schedule to deal with your anxiety? Without a schedule does your anxiety increase? Have you passed on your need to not change a schedule to your daughter so she becomes anxious or agitated when things change?

Autistic kids need a schedule to minimize anxiety. They do need more consistency than the average child yet with extra attention they are able to handle change on vacation. Is your daughter autistic or have other medical concerns that cause her to need a rigid schedule?

Please try to relax and enjoy this vacation. There really isn't a need to have a vacation be like home.

Although you wouldn't want her to live on milk and chips all the time doing so for 2 weeks isn't going to harm her.

One of my brothers didn't like vacations when he was in his 30s because they made him feel like he wouldn't be safe, an irrational thought. He still doesn't much enjoy life because he can't accept that his siblings don't think and do things the way he thinks is right.

I'm trying to understand. So you are on vacation and you wake up and at breakfast time when you all sit down together your daughter will not eat? Then you do something fun...go to the beach or whatever...at lunch time you go to a restaurant and sit down and order. Your daughter won't eat? The same with dinner? My daughter is 5 also and I don't really get what the problem is. We might go to an ice cream place after lunch for a treat when we are on vacation. We might stop and buy fudge one day. But at meal times my daughter still eats. Say she's super excited and does not eat as much...I don't feel like i need to worry about that. Do you suddenly not eat at meal times when you are on vacation? I'm not sure why you are worried about the schedule this much. I think my advice to you is to just relax more! Your daughter will be fine...if she has a different schedule for a week and eats more junk than normal it will not hurt her. Try to have fun and focus more on enjoying yourself.

Milk and potato chips on vacation? YUmmy. However, I'd go with the chocolate milk. Oh seriously, please do not worry about your daughter. Unless she has a known nutrition deficiency, her body will tell her this is not fine.Not eating can be a real attention getting device. In the meantime I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. And schedules? Is there a reason why you are worried? I'd worry more that she got up early when I wanted to sleep in and then I'd have to get up too. You don't sound crazy, you are a mom after all, but even moms deserve a break.

When we go on vacation we relax things a bit. Instead of three meals a day we usually eat two, brunch and supper. We stay up a little later and sleep a little later, and generally focus on having as much fun as possible. We have never had a rigid schedule. Kids are pretty adaptable.

Okay, after your edit, I've come to the conclusion that I would probably stress eat chips non stop if I had to vacation with 30 family members!

My heart goes out to you. I'm not a scheduled person, but I understand that disrupting your daughter's schedule will be stressful for you. Your husband doesn't understand that it's not fun, relaxing or vacation like when you are trying to hold things together for your daughter. I totally GET IT, because while you are on vacation, parenting still has to take place and having the influence of a couple dozen, chip providing, schedule free family members makes it hard.

Give yourself some grace, mama. Can you let go a little? Yes. Can your husband help pick up the slack so you this can be a vacation for you too? YES. If he does, that's excellent! Let him know that your feelings are valid though, too. Sometimes just having those feelings validated makes it all bearable!

Vacations are stressful for me too. My children and husband all have Type 1 Diabetes. Managing T1D on vacation is an absolute nightmare. I love vacationing and the spontaneity that it entails, but it does take work. A few days I ended up in tears.........just because!!!

I hope you have a lovely time! Give yourself and your fellow vacationers a hefty helping of grace. You will make it through! :)

If it were me, I would pack some granola bars and make sure my daughter and I stayed up extra late for no reason at all at least one night, just for fun. Watch a movie, paint your nails, go shell-hunting in the dark on the beach with a flashlight. Whatever you want.

Actually, we are going on a vacation in about a month and that's exactly what I'm planning. Because it's vacation and we both can sleep in the next day, right?

Where were the other parents? Why didn't they make their kids sit down to eat? Everyone else is treating this like a vacation...that's why it's not working for you. Kids don't have to have the same exact schedule every single day.

It's vacation and she can have fun BUT when the other kids are not sitting down to eat them none of the kids will sit down to eat. You are fighting a losing battle.

I suggest you try but also accept it's vacation and meant to stay up late and sleep late and go all day without rests and everything.

I have a house full of grand kids for spring break. The last one just dozed off and it's 12:45am. They ate breakfast for lunch today and had McDonald's for dinner. They had Raiman noodles for late night snack. We watched 6 DVR TV shows. And they loved it. Laughing and playing and having fun.

Let her loosen up, be less managing for her time, try and get the other parents to get their kids eating at the same time as the others. This will help them ALL eat better.

She'll live through vacation and it won't hurt her. She'll have fond memories of all this and love every one of them.

No, I'm excited when I go on vacation, which is not often. My kids don't eat any differently when on vacation than what they do at home. My kids don't live off milk and chips at home so they wouldn't on vacation either. I guess I don't understand why she isn't eating normal food? Regardless, yes, kids schedules usually get screwed up when you are on vacation. Just try to do the best you can and she'll be fine. Relax and have fun and don't stress the small stuff or you might as well just stay home. Good luck.

Your daughter is going to sense your anxiety and do exactly whatever it is you fear. It's like the new parents that get on an airplane and announce that their child will cry and be difficult for the whole flight, and please won't everyone take some ear plugs. The kid does EXACTLY that.

You need to let go of worrying about her schedule. Her schedule will be your schedule. And I can tell you now, that she needs to learn as soon as possible that schedules are not something we need to stick to like glue. They are great, but there needs to be room for spontaneity! Figure out what parts of her schedule are important to you, and tell yourself that the rest doesn't matter. Perhaps keeping her bedtime consistent?

Good luck letting go!

I am so rigid with my schedule, so I can completely relate. I had to loosen up and make sure 3 meals were eaten and get over the fact that we had "no schedule". I also bring some "familiar snacks" whenever we go anywhere, just so we aren't spending any unnecessary money and we eat things I approve of! It made me feel a little more in control to have a bunch of bananas in the room and some cereal bars so that I knew fruit was getting eaten at some point in between pizza and chicken fingers (which are often the choices for the kiddoes!) Try and have fun too. It took me a long time to learn that but please know you are not alone. I am a SAHM and think of almost everything according to the rigid schedule I have carved out for my two kids so I hear you! Good Luck.

Every summer we go away to a resort, over the years we have made friends and we all sit together at meals. The kids all eat and then go off and play once they are all done and the parents can hang out. She is 5 now so things are a bit different, you will have alot more freedom. Either bring or purchase foods you know she will eat. We just had a baby in October and have a almost 9 year old. Vacation will be alot different this year however I am just going to roll with it and have the best time I can. Wine always seems to help the family vacations I have been on.