Was I Wrong?

It's done. Forget about it.

Being a principal is tough, high stress job--high responsibility, high complaints, not a lot of praise---like being a parent! haha.

If you still feel bad next week, you could write the principal a short note saying that you know she has a lot of tough decisions to make in her job, and you congratulate her for handling the stress and being there for the kids---or something like that. Or just donate something to the entire school staff--like some donuts or something. OR---you could volunteer at the school. Schools love parent volunteers. =)

I was in a 3rd/4th grade split for both grades and really loved it. Part of it was that I really loved the teacher and I got to have her for two years. Part of it was that I got a chance to meet both older and younger kids that I might not have gotten to know otherwise. (Note: I was always one of the youngest kids in my grade because my birthday is late in the year.)

You know, I would just let it rest for now. I do think that we have a wrong mindset about age segregation. I would find it beneficial for both the olders and the youngers in a mixed class--*IF* it is done right. If it is just a huge juggling act, then it could be a nightmare. And, since these teachers probably don't have much experience with this type of classroom, it would probably end up being more of the juggle. So, be thankful. You might want to write a note and send a small gift (cookies, whatever) to the principal thanking her for working with you. Let her know how appreciative you are of her efforts, knowing the stress that she is under with all of the changes and various needs of the parents/students.

What's done is done. The principal did what you wanted, so time to move past it and get to know this new teacher.

And for what it's worth, most schools try to keep the classes even with advanced, average and below average students. It wasn't that your daughter was "overflow". It was that particular class needed another advanced student.

All works out as it should. No remorse. Depending on your daughters learning style the split class may have been fine, but maybe not. This is a "safer" bet, so just go with it.

Let the principal know you appreciate her consideration and attentiveness. In the future, pick your battles...... mostly because if you ask too much you won't be taken seriously... and you have many years to go.

I know you feel blindsided. I am PROMISE you, they put a lot of thought into the class rosters. Even when over flow happens.

I am also going to bet your daughter is young, but extremely bright. This is why they knew she would be fine in a split class.

Remember in elementary school when you would go into reading groups? The blue birds, the red birds.. That is essentially what this is. They will learn some subjects together and then they will be in groups for reading and maybe a few other subjects. Your daughter is advanced enough she will be in a group of mixed kinder and first graders!

Give it a try. Send a note to the Principal telling her, you are sorry you freaked out, but this is your first child and you had a visual in your head and this knocked it out..

Let her know you are willing to give it a try and will support your daughter in any way.

I am sending you strength.

Dontworry about it another second. You are spending a lot of brain power and spirit worrying about something you cannot change now- it is over. Move on now and place this worry about the principal feelings at the feet of God.

Your first priority is to your child, you took care of it. Everything is fine now.

Our school just started a split class with 2nd/3rd and I know from talking with our son's teacher that only the best students are placed in split classes (our son has ADHD and she reassured us there was no way he'd be in that class). So, take it as a compliment that your daughter made a good impression. They have to put the best in the split classes because they don't have time to deal with the kids with behavioral or learning challenges when they must deal with two age groups. The kids must be able to work independently.

My brother was in a split class growing up and I remember my parents not liking it much. The kids just don't get the same amount of attention they would in a class with one grade level.

What's done is done now, so I would just move forward with things the way they are. You can always send a kind note the principal thanking her for her effort to make the change, given all that must be on her plate right now.

I completely understand your concerns and think I would feel the same way. We want our children to have the best learning opportunities and might go a little overboard to make sure that happens. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. You thought you were doing the best thing for her at the time and felt time was of the essence since school was closed for the next couple of days.
Plus, I do think it will be better for her to be in a Kindergarten only classroom. I don't see how there couldn't be too many interruptions, noise, etc from trying to teach 2 different classes in the same room.

I don't think you are wrong, so long as you spoke calmly to the principle about it. Though a thank you note to the principle would be great to put any fears of being the offending party to rest.

As one who has decided on things such as split classes before, we usually take into consideration which children we feel would be able to mix the best with the new set-up. Since her teacher helped plan it, I'm sure she put your daughter where she felt your daughter could thrive in.

But now all is done and so put it behind you and get ready for the school year.

Don't worry about it. The mother-bear-comes out in all of us. You got the right thing done for your child. It is really hard to get kids changed after the class list is made. The principal must of thought her birthday not you being upset was a good reason to do it. Mistakes happen, they might of looked at the her birthday being Sept, not noticing the year, thinking she was oldest not youngest to put her in that class. You pointing it out- she straightened it out. Send a her thank you note for her extra effort.

Hi Becky,

You were right in thinking that your daughter maybe too young for a split class with first graders and you were also right to talk to the principal. The good thing is the principal listened and resolved the problem early. Don't worry, you were advocating for your child and that's commendable. I do think you should send the principal a very sweet thank you card and that you look forward to the new school year. Best of luck!

I don't think you were wrong at all. You may call and thank the principal, may apologize for being a bit worked up when you spoke to her, but thank her for taking your concerns seriously, and that you appreciate the position she is in. The school decided to accept that many students without the resources for them all, so I am sure that they will get a bit of a back lash. And it does make sense to have the older kids together and the younger kids together. After that, I would let it go.

I think you did the right thing and your feelings are well placed. Maybe you are just feeling the remorse over the way to discussed it w/ the principle? If so you can always thank her in person or a letter and just mention that you didn't mean to come across as rude or disrespectful, but were confused and worried for your child and truly appreciate her being in the class she is in. Don't stress!

My daughter started kindergarten at 4. She was always around kids older than her and it didn't damage her in any way. She was ready!
Also, combo classes are awesome! Your daughter already attended this school for preschool and I can tell you from experience that they put kids in certain classes if they feel they are ready for it. Your daughter will not only get her kindergarten experience, but in a good way, she will be exposed academically to children who do more advanced work. It won't be forced on her, but she'll be exposed to it.
Also....just because she's in a combo class this year doesn't mean she won't be in a regular first grade class next year with the kids her age who took a full year to get accustomed to the structure of school.
I wrote about this yesterday, I believe, my son wanted a certain kindergarten teacher and was heartbroken when he didn't get her, but her class was for the kids who had zero experience being around other children in a daycare or preschool setting and he didn't need to learn how to sit still or share or take turns. He was put in the other class. It was the best thing for him.
Give your daughter a chance. Let her flourish. Split classes are very normal now. I think you should be happy she is one of the kids they felt could handle it. If she can't, then perhaps down the road a change is necessary, but for now, I wouldn't worry so much.

Best wishes.

I would have been mad. In our school the second grade was like that this year. They had so many more enroll that there would have been more than 25 in a class room (our districs limit). Instead of doing a split class with the smaller 3rd grade, or 1st graders they hired another teacher and put the kids in smaller class sizes. I'm rather grateful for the solution! :) There are less than 20 kids in each class. It's awesome.
My son is older and he doesn't do well, there is a BIG gap between being just 5 and bing 6 or 7, one kid even turned 8 in our first grade class last year. He had social issues when he was younger among other things, had a late birthday so his mom held him two years before moving to first grade. Just 5 to 8 is a big gap. Hang in there and try to let this go and work on the school year from here out.

Hi Becky, As parents we often can't control our emotions when we think are kids are at stake. She may have done fine with the mixed class, but who knows. Don't beat yourself up. It is an issue because you thought it was one and you know your kid the best. I think I would have at least given the mixed class a try, but many parents would feel the same as you did. Hope your daughter has a great year!

I would have been more worried if my child had been in 1st grade and been put into a K/1 split. Usually, kids are put into classes that are a good fit for them. For your kindergartener to be put with 1st graders indicates that the decision makers felt she was up to the challenge. It's done now, and you're happy with the outcome, which is great, BUT, having her in the K/1 split *might* have exposed her to a higher academic level and *might* have given her an academic advantage when she started 1st grade herself. At our last school, the 1st graders who were in the 1/2 split were successfully doing more advanced stuff than the regular 1st graders. My daughter (who was the youngest kid in her class) was in regular 1st and her best friend (same grade but was almost 1 whole year older) was in the 1/2 split...doing 2nd grade level work in some subjects.

Don't second guess yourself - go with your gut - you did the right thing. She will do great - don't give it another thought! Your daughter is probably going to be one of the youngest Kindergartener's in the school, and you would think they would have considered age when deciding who would be placed into what class. It's unfortunate everything going on at schools with these cut backs. The kids suffer in the end. ;-(

My son was in a split in 3rd grade. It was a 3/4 split and his previous teacher had said he was a good candidate for the class. He's a bit slow to warm up and make friends so I was very nervous about it. They had to control themselves and be able to work in groups and on their own while the teacher went from one side to the other. Many of the things taught were taught to both classes but math and science were different. I think it ended up being very good for him even though I was nervous and it was certainly one of his favorite teachers. She did a lot of hand on things and knew how to keep them interested.

That being said, you know your daughter and if she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. My son needs a little push and that class ended up being just right and he got to meet new kids too. My son's birthday is right after school starts too :)

Hi Becky!
I can understand your concern, but I would wait to see what happens.
When there is a split class, it is not just "overflow" kids to be put into the split. It is usually thoughtfully done. The teachers decide who they think this will be the best fit for. Since you said that she is academically ready, I wouldn't worry too much about her being a young kindergartner. My brother was always one of the younger in his class (mid October birthday) and he did fine. Remember, too, that as kids get older the few months difference don't make as big of a difference as when they are toddlers.

Now that she is in the "regular" kindergarten class, I guess it really doesn't matter. I do not think you were wrong for expressing your concern to the principal, but perhaps it could have been done a little better. I think that some others suggested writing a short note to the principal and I would agree. Let her know that you understand that she has had to make some tough decisions already this year and that you do know that she has the best of intentions for the students at the school. I am a teacher and have been in similar positions before where my decisions may not make me popular, but I am always doing what I feel is best for my students and/or making due the best I can with what options I have available.

I am sure your daughter will have a WONDERFUL year in kindergarten. What an exciting time for her! Enjoy!!!!

You have to do what is right for your daughter. I can understand you being concerned about her being with kids almost 2 years older than her. However, I was in split classes all throughout Elementary school. I don't think it has anything to do with the who signed up when. Usually, it was the kids who didn't need as much teacher assistance, who learned things more quickly. If the preschool teacher was part of it, she probably knew your daughter could handle it. What's done is done. Be happy that they listened to your concerns. In the future, that should give you confidence in those people who are making decisions. Sometimes, we think we know what's best, but the people in the school also have training do deal with these decisions!

Were you wrong to express your concerns? No. As others have mentioned, the schools put a lot of thought into placement and possibly the fact that your daughter has already been there and shown her aptitude and maturity weighed in on their decision to put her in the split class.
Were you wrong to threaten the principal about pulling your child from the school next year? Well............that was definitely a purely emotional response. :) I'm sure they are used to that behavior, but it might help if you said to the principal when you see him/her that you've had more time to think about it and still have concerns, but you can wait it out.
My first grade was a split 1st/2nd class and I thought it was great because it challenged me academically while allowing me to be an emotional 1st grader. Having said that I would not hesitate to put my son in a split class if he was in the bottom grade....maybe the top one not so much.

I think the split class would have been fine. The "overflow" of students mean the total number exceeded the number for individual K classes...it doesn't mean only the "overflow students" were put in the split class. Meaning your daughter wasn't necessarily considered the overflow and therefore put in the split class. It was more than likely, they decided how many needed to go into the split class and tried to make the right fit for the child. Since the principal already moved your daughter back, I would let that go.

If you are concerned about how you approached the situation I would suggest you see the principal and tell her that you wanted to apologize if you came off too harsh and you appreciate your honoring your request to move your daughter to a full K class. Going forward, think back and remember to calm down before addressing the situation...otherwise just forget about it and move on.

Becky---I think you should put it out of your mind. You have to go with your gut, as they say. You know your daughter best.

My daughter has a late November birthday. She had been in a Head Start class having been deemed high risk for starting kindegarten on time. She actually did fine. But when it came time for kindegarten, we had our doubts. All of the teachers said she was just fine, and she'd likely 'catch up' soon if she had any academic difficulties. We weren't worried about academics. She's actually quite smart. We were worried about the social and emotional situations that occur with girls when they are in late grade and jr. high school. Girls can be so mean. We held her back and it was the best decision we made, for her. Trust your instincts and now let it go. Good job. Be well, D.

Wow. I have taught Kindy for 22 years and have never head of a split k-1st class. There are a few advantages...especially if the class size is small. The BIG advantage is that the preschool teacher was involved in the placement. I would contact her and find out why she felt your child was a good candidate for the class. It may be that your young 5 has the maturity to handle it even though she is 'only 4.' If that is the case, just enjoy and help support the fact that she is going to be exposed to reading and writing skills on the 1st grade level much earlier. She may make a lot more progress than her friends in the other class.

Probably, but it's done now and your daughter is in the regular kindergarten. I was in split classes through most of elementary school because there was a theory in the late 50's/early 60's that it was going to make us achieve more. I was always in the lower grade side of the split and academically I did very well, but socially I did not do well - and I was an early starter, like your daughter. So both thank and apologize to the principal - and be sure to volunteer when they need moms for help to keep the school on your side. They do play favorites with kids so you want to be a favorite parent through
positive networking and positive participation.

You sound like me. I do and say things often in the heat of the moment and then I perseverate on them for days and can't let it go. Putting myself in your place, I think you you may too worried about how you came off and less about whether it was the right thing. Your concens seem logical and the school was clearly able to make an adjustment so I don't know that sayign something was wrong. But maybe (or maybe not) you came on too strong? Seperate the issues in your mind. My guess is you will be relieved and happy that she is in a different situation. However, you might be ambarrased by your tone or language. I don't know, I wasn't there. But if you think you might have been a bit of a bully about it, then e-mail the principle and say thanks for makign the switch, an dyou are sorry if you were a little aggresive but you were sort of overwhelmed on your daughter's behalf. The truth is tha thte squeakiest wheel gets the oil - and you want to go to bat for your kids - but you also don't want to be "that" parent.

Do not second guess your initial reaction. Your principal made a mistake and she realized it after you approached her and respectfully told her how young your daughter was and why you felt she should be in a regular kindergarten class, which is why she switched her into the correct class. Kids whose birthdays are older/closer to first graders and/or who are academically and socially advanced should have been placed in the split class. The goal for kindergarten is for your daughter to learn and have a positive learning experience. Feeling confused and frustrated, which may have very well happened for her in a split class, would not have been a very good plan for her. You made the right choice by advocating for her and asking for her to be placed in the kindergarten only class. Remember, she is 4 turning 5 and she would have been with kids who were 6 turning 7! Let her be a little girl while she is still little!

I haven't read any other post but see that you have many so someone else may have already said this... It sounds like this is your first child going to school and yes, it is very stressful and nerve-racking for you. Women are very emotional as you well know and this is something that you reacted with emotions. As you said, had you waited it out or even talked to your husband, you probably would have thought it out more, calmed down, and let it ride itself out.

Keep this in mind, yes you have to be proactive for what is best for your kids and their education. But remember, schools have been doing this for a long time and usually (but not always) they know what they are doing and will also do what's best for each child in that school.

You are going to run into many situations at school that you don't agree with or think should be done differently. Well, when you do, step back, take a deep breath, and take a night to sleep on it before reacting. More than likely it will work itself out in the long run. Have faith in your school and teachers because your kids will pick up on it if you don't and it will affect them as well. And that's not what you want

I don't think you're wrong. It's hard enough being a younger child in a class but to be in a split class too...that may be too much for some kids. While she may be academically fine...I would worry about the social aspect as well. School is important for academics and social skills. Don't worry about giving the principal grief. First they should have given parents a fair amount of notice to think this stuff over. Second they're used to it. I'm sure the principal got an earful from several parents...and probably some that weren't as nice as you. :)

Hi Becky,

I see you have A LOT of other answers already, and I didn't read any of them, so please forgive me if I'm just repeating what somebody else is saying!

I would have done the same thing as you. Normally, I think a split class is just fine (I was in a split class in 4th grade (there were 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders), and again in 5th grade (split with a 6th grade class.) However, I think in your situation, it really was the best thing for your daughter. Kindergarten is a huge transition and if she is a young five, it might even be a bigger deal to her than it is to a child who turned five last winter. I really feel that what you did was the right thing.

Now, when it comes to the principal: don't feel guilty. However, if you want to make yourself feel better, you can always send her a simple thank you card. You can say that you appreciate what she has done for you because you know what a difficult time of year it is when she is getting many requests from other parents who also want to change their child's class / teacher. No need to go as far as getting a gift card or anything, but I think a simple thank you card can really make her day! Good luck! (My son is going into kindergarten too...I can't wait to see how it goes!) :)

You did what you thought was right for your daughter... and that is your job! So good job. Also Principals deal with a lot of stressful situations, that is their job... and they get paid fairly well for it. So don't worry about all this.
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I don't think you were wrong. You know your daughter. I'd send the principal a very sweet note and thank her for listening to your concerns and making a way. Young 5's are tricky and this way your daughter won't feel pressured. It wouldn've been OK probably but this will be even better. It's hard being a mom, ish't it? Stop beating yourself up and just be sweet to this sensitive principal.

My son was also a September baby and was put in a split like that, fortunally the principal called me that summer when doing scheduling it to see if I was ok with a split and I was able to ask why he picked my son. I did not have time to have a gut reaction, because I am sure I would have said NO. He told me because he was young and the split class was going to have extra help in reading and math and he felt my son would benfit from it. I was able to say yes, knowing there was a reason for the pick. I do not think you will regret not putting your daughter in the split so do not worry, but just to let you know if the issue of a split class comes up again. We never had a problems with it.

I was in a split class in elementary and I felt VERY special and smart because I was one of the youngest in the class. I'm a grandmother now and have learned that most kids do better when they are challenged with their work.
I'd bet that your daughter was chosen because she did very well with her work and they thought she would be challenged in that classroom, remember that the only children the school knew at that time were the ones that were in the preschool class, so they probably took the brightest of these children to put in the split class.
I'm glad you advocated for your child and she is doing so well, I've learned that just because a person has the credentials it doesn't mean that they are smarter than us or that they know what is best for our child. Anyone can get the education, but putting it to day to day action is a different thing entirely, so never think that you shouldn't stay on top of the teachers and know what is going on in the classroom. I've seen misspelled words in a classroom, my daughter had a High School math teacher that made simple math mistakes and at one time had an assignment written twice on her paperwork and of course none of the kids did the assignments twice so one paper everyone got a 0, this was High School algebra!
I'm glad you got the results you wanted, just be friendly with the principal and maybe send a thank you note or home made cookies :) those will always help!