Infant Wanting Another Baby

Hi N.,
I had the same problem with my husband reguarding a second child. When my son turned three I was ready to have another, he was not. I begged and cried, nothing worked. So I gave up and started praying and tellig God. Two years later, he anounces that he was ready. I was needless to say dumbfounded and excited. That was 3 months ago and we have just begun trying. I'm not thrilled that they will be about 5 1/2 to 6 years apart, but God knows what is best. I know in my heart that God changed his heart and therfore I know that we will have another baby. So my advice is to pray and let God be in charge. I know it's not easy, but God knows what is best! Good luck and I will be praying for you!
Sincerely,
K.

I'd wait. In fact, I wouldn't say another word about it to him. Then, in a few months, when he mentions the fact that he's glad you've laid off - as sweetly as possible, tell him that you're trying to respect his feelings the same way you wish he'd respect yours.

Unwanted children (even if they're welcome after the fact) place undue strain on a marriage. Husbands change their mind, at least in my experience, given time and space.

If he doesn't mention it in a few months, mention that you'd like to switch to natural family planning, the hormones in birth control make you uncomfortable ... it makes a bigger window where you can't have sex - maybe that will cause him to rethink no more kids.

I always said I wanted 3 kids too. I have 2 sons-not close in age-7 years and 9 months. I love having boys and because of how gorgeous my sons are, everyone wants us to have another -a girl. My thought right now are...NO WAY. Giving birth is crazy easy for me, but carrying was tough this time around. I did not have any complications, but I was dragging big time and it is taking me longer to get back down to size. My main thing is having 2 with the benefit of some distance in age is already tough. Shuttling my oldest to all his activites with a baby in tow is tough and I could not imaging doing it with 2 kids close in age with different activities to get to! I give people credit who can manage it, but I know me and I am already tired. Right now, your girls are young and do not have specific interests. I would really think about how it will be when they get older and start to individualize interests!!!
Personally I also don't really want to try again becasue I don't want to have a girl. Sure she would be cute, but I am a girl and I remember what I put my mom through-not interested! I love having sons and they will probably give me enough stress!

trust me, you don't want to "talk him into it". because if he gives in, he'll always resent you for it, and if anything happens down the road such as financial problems, he'll end up blaming your 3rd child. he might end up having a strained relationship with that child the rest of their life.
if you really want another child all you can really do is sit down with your hubby and explain why you want to try for a baby now and in turn listen to his reasons why he doesn't want to. you might end up seeing things differently, or vice versa. but if he still isn't ready then you need to just respect that.
p.s. if you are concerned with having another girl, have you considered adoption?

This is a tough question, often money is an issue. However since you mention being able to aford anoher wonderful. Now, as you have prolly figuredout LOL that having small children is a lot of work, not to mention the noise factor. My husband comes home sometimes and there are toys, noise and cartoons. Sometimes he says he would like to come to a quiet home, and sometimes that does happen ( nap time) but not so often. The more kiddos you have the more noise. Also did you have complacations during any of your pregnancys? I had two repeat c sections ( babies were too big for me). Also are you ready to handel the what if your child has special needs and also the day to day with the other two?

Having said all that, I think having children close in age is wonderful, maybe discuss the possablity of having another child that might turn out to be a boy. ( we have two boys and the seond was a try for a girl, he has special needs and decided we would not try again for a girl) Also ask what his concerns are...keep talking about it and maybe wait till you can get him on board. Having two kids is one thing but with the addition of another there are things like a bigger car, getting around ( family is great help for this) more feedings ect.....

Do not give up you, having a big family is nice exspecially when they get a little older...dance class, T ball.

I guess the bottom line is to get your husband on board and if you can't then maybe should wait. You know his feelings count too and I totally understand your wanting them close, our boys are only hmmm 10 or 11 months apart ...almost like twins in away.

Good luck

I will just throw in my two cents about my own situation. I have four girls. Yes, we were still trying "one more time" to have a boy. Don't get me wrong, I do adore my babies, but FOR ME, going from two to three really threw me for a loop. One to two was OK, but two to three was nuts. So it was extremely stressful on my marriage because I was having such a rough time adjusting to three. My husband does complain about the noise level sometimes. I keep telling myself it will pass as soon as they grow up, but if you are already having to talk him into it, and things are rough for you with three as well, that might cause some tension in your marriage as well. Just something to think about. Again, this is just my two cents, and I am quite sure there are plenty of moms out there who had three kids with no trouble at all. Just a thought. Good luck on that boy!

I kindof went through something similar. We only have one boy, but have always talked about having 3 children and starting to have another when our son was about 18 months. Well when that time came my husband wasn't ready. After talking to him I figured out that I was only thinking emotionally about having another baby, but he was thinking about how logical was our timing. We have decided to wait a little bit longer. So maybe you just need to ask where he is coming from ( without getting defensive) But having another baby isn't a decision that can be a compromise. Both of you have to be all in for it!