Want Another Baby - Riverside,CA

I think it is normal to want another baby sometimes, when your other children are growing up more and more everyday and are not babies anymore. The only problem is you have to make sure and take care of your children that you have already. If your fiance is not ready, to force him or persuade him to have another child will likely cause him to resent you sooner or later. I think for now, you need to focus on reducing or eliminating your health risks, or else you may not survive through child birth and may have complications. My advice is mainlyfocus on your precious children that you already have. Make everyday the best for them that you can. Being a good mother includes taking care of you also. Just be happy and grateful for what you already have. Best of luck.

Hello! I agree with a lot of what Jan says. My only addition is that if this desire is persistent, then make a deal with your fiance .... 1. You will take important steps to deal with your health - your children and fiance need you, so they need to know that you are taking your health seriously and are willing to take action to get yourself "healthy" so to say. 2. Once you have set and reached some of your goals, maybe you can then make a timetable for another baby. I would wait until after you are married - you need insurance to be sure both you and your baby are healthy and safe. Maybe these ideas would help your fiance - by then husband to know that your family is ready, but first show him your commitment to him and your two children. I hope that all works out for you - regardless that you are happy with your current blessings. For now, you have a wonderful man and 2 boys to love.

the number of children you want to have (or can agree on having with your significant other) has been a big topic in our household. but whatever you decide, it has to be a decision that both you and your fiance come to together.

while i feel that after having #1 and #2 a year apart, the 3rd one won't be as hectic. sounds like you have a lot to consider. talk with your fiance and find out the reasons that are important to him and let him know the reasons that are important to you.

you also mentioned medical issues regarding your health and health insurance. pregnancy is a strain on your body. if you already have existing problems, it can put even more strain on your body. in addition, the more medical issues you have, the more likely you are to have a high risk pregnancy or have complications with pregnancy or delivery. hopefully none of those things will happen, but if they do, it will put more stress on your family.

i'm currently pregnancy with #4. this pregnancy by far has been the most difficult. this pregnancy alone has been more difficult that the other 3 put together. it started out with extreme nausea, fatigue, and motion sensitivity in the 1st trimester that i had to spend a lot of days in bed (thank goodness not bad enough to require hospitalization). my girls were really understanding for being so young (7,4, and 3). they are also at an age that they are more independent--dress themselves, get some of their own snacks, etc. but a lot of responsibilities were put onto my husband.

of course he was understanding and willing to help out more. after all i was carrying his child. then things got better until about 25 weeks when i was put on bed rest.

although i don't think there is really a time when you and your fiance will feel ready. but after discussion of all the pros and cons, you'll feel like you have a better understanding of each other.

good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi A., my personal advice to you would be get married before planning to enlarge your family, and before your kids are at age that they realize that mom and dad are living in imorality. i don't say that to be harsh, if you were my daughter this is what i would tell you. Is there a reason that your fiance has not married you? Good luck on your health issues. J.