Waking up Early for School

My daughter is the same way. Hate to say it, but you may want to try her earlier. My daughter was going to bed at 8 at that age. She is now 8yrs old(9 in October). We've extended it to 9pm and that seems to be hard for her, still. Maybe try it and see if going to bed earlier works. Or you can have her take a nap when she gets home from school? If she is home early enough, she could take an early one and then be up for a little while to be with her dad.
Good luck!

A.,

I am not sure if this is any help but I have to explain what I do with my son. I also never gave him a bed time and when I do try to enforce a bedtime the next day he is so cranky. I belive that it is because of the fighting to go to bed the night before. With my son I pick my battles. He has to wake up at 6:30 for school and at night I start at 8:30 telling him one more show and we need to go to bed. then 8:50 I say 10 more mins. At 9:00 I lay with him so he feels comfort and he is usually out at 9:05. When I do not lay with him he toss and turns for an hour.

M.

I don't have kids this age yet, so take this suggestion with a grain of salt...

If it were me, I'd go ahead and let her have a nap in the afternoon as part of the "getting used to the longer days" process. Even if she won't get one when she starts school, she'll probably be so stimulated with the Kindergarten activites going on that the problem may work itself out.

Check to see what time you're going to be picking her up from school, too. If you're going to pick her up at 2pm (for example) on a regular basis, then there's no need to keep her up to 4-5pm when you could get her on an "after school nap" schedule.

Kudos to you for changing her schedule before school actually starts! That's very good planning and considerate as well. I remember when I started KG no one bothered to tell me what was going on, what to expect, or to reset my sleep schedule (which was VERY messed up). My dad just plopped me in a room with a bunch of other kids. Needless to say I was distraught... :) Kids hate getting hit by "the bus" just as much as adults do.

Good luck!

-Charli

If you ask any kindergarten teacher, they will tell you how shocked they are that parents let their kids stay up so late-- and the kids get cranky and tired during the school day because of it. 8:00 is a reasonable time for a kindergartener to go to sleep. To get my kids used to winding down for an earlier bedtime, I allow them to read (even before they could actually "read", they would look at picture books) for half an hour and then it was lights out. So try in bed by 8:00, lights out at 8:30. Most of the time, by the time I go in to turn off the light, they are already asleep. Now my kids are older and shut the light off themselves most nights (and they have an 8:30 in bed time with 9:00 lights out, but they are 3rd and 4th graders). Kindergarten teachers are well aware of the very long day it is for little 5 year olds- whether they have been home or in preschool, many of them have to get used to a long day with no nap, so you'll see that the teacher will be sympathetic to your child getting used to the new schedule- some let the kids even lay down the first couple of weeks to wean them off of nap. I also agree with the poster who said maybe you can do an after school nap, but I would wake her (cranky or not) after about 30 minutes so she'll go to bed at 8PM. My kids went for a long time only seeing their dad on weekends because of sleep/work schedules... but it's not healthy for her to not get adequate rest...And learning (and behavior) at school will be difficult if she is tired.

stop kicking yourself for starters. we make decisions based on the information we have at the time. for the last 5 years bedtime has been a moot point since she has not been in school. seeing daddy is of the utmost importance to little girls - i know. my dad used to work long hours; and i was the evil brat if i didn't get to see him for several days.

you are doing fine. you should check with the school to see what time school starts. if you are going to drive her to school, you may not need to get her up so early.

when my son was in public school, he didn't start till 9:15, so i didn't have to get him up till 830. this may be true with your daughter's school too. you may be torturing yourself and her for no reason. if she is to ride the bus, you know how long it takes to get her moving in the mornings, adjust the schedule accordingly.

Hi A.,
I have somewhat of the same problem: My husband work all hours of the day. There are nights that he is home before my daughter goes to bed, but I try to keep her bedtime within about 30 min of what is " normal"
My daughter is only 3, but she will be going to pre school in September. On a normal day when my daughter gets a nap, she goes to bed around 8:30. When she doesn't get a nap for whatever reason, is is in bed by 7:00. She sleeps 12 hours a night. On the nights she goes to be a bit later she still wakes up around the same time.
I guess my advice would be to stick to one time, even if she doesn't see her dad everyday. My husband takes time on the weekends to spend with our daughter. But I have personally found that putting her to bed within 30 min. of a "usual" bedtime has worked great for us.
I hope this helps,
S.

Hi A.,

Your request really caught my eye because we are going through the exact same thing with our little girl. She was up until late, I mean really late, and then would sleep all morning. Her Daddy comes home from work at 10pm three nights a week, so we just didn't worry about it. Like you, we realized that we needed to do something before school started, so we made a chart for her wall with things we wanted her to do before bed. She would get a star for straightening her room before bed, a star for taking her bath, a star for brushing her teeth and a star for going to bed. If she did this Sunday through Thursday, we would take her to the ice cream parlor for a cone. I can't believe how she took right to it. She loves getting stars on her chart and wants to brush her teeth and bathe several times a day for extra stars. Too bad she doesn't want to clean her room that much. <g>

Also, we take turns laying down with her until she goes to sleep. She sleeps in her bed and we have a futon couch in her room that we lay on until she goes to sleep. It was easier that we thought it would be. No TV playing, just nice soft music. Once she lays still and stops talking, she's out in 3 minutes.

We still hate that she won't see her daddy some evenings, but there really isn't much choice. We have been a close family since she has been born and it is as difficult for us as it is her. He tries to make the most of the nights he is home, like playing a short board game with her, or just spending time being silly.

I hope this helps,

L.

A.,
I completely know where you are coming from. My son will go into 1st grade this year and kindergarten was from 7:45 to 3:00 and that was way too long for him. I had weaned him from his naps for about 4 months before school started, but he still had a lot of down time, just not sleep time. In kindergarten they go all day and never stop moving. They sing and jump constantly. I volunteered in the classroom and now days they believe in active learning where they only sit at a table of desk for very few minutes of their day. They are up doing things and on the floor. I had to go home and nap after my time volunteering. It is crazy. My son would cry from the minute I picked him up until about 5pm and he loved school... it just took every ounce of him. Asking about the details of his day seemed to calm him down some. For a while we had him nappint right after school. That backfired..we live 3 minutes from his school and somedays he would cry himself to sleep in the car in 3 minutes, but then he didn't want to get up later for dinner, homework, bath, anything.... He thought he was done for the day. He was absolutely exhausted from over stimulation. If he stayed awake, around 5 pm he would just become crazy and impossible and nothing would satisfy him. I was getting very worried. So this is what we finally did: we started his bedtime routine at 6:30 or he'd never be down by 7. Every night we tried to stick to our little schedule...snack after school, free play time, homework before dinner (yes, he had homework almost every night...takes about 30 minutes), early dinner, early quick bath/shower, read, bed (and yes she will miss daddy frequently)....My son has always required a lot of sleep and been a big napper...7pm might be a little too early for your daughter but I would keep moving that bedtime earlier and earlier...just get good heavy curtains. With this schedule my son is a wonderful little angel, without it he is impossible!! It took until about February until my son stopped crying everyday. It justtook awhile for us to figure out the solution. I'd say he still cried some until the end of school on Thursday/Fridays. As far as daddy time goes...my husband started bringing my son to school in the morning and walking him to class. This was quite a hit and a very big deal. He did it about 3-4 days a week and it was special. Good luck...I hope it goes smoothly for you.
A.

This is such a common problem. Think about how little these children are and yet they are expected to perform for such a long period of the day during kindergarten.
They are still so young and yet kindergarten is a pivotal year where they are learning and doing so much more than was ever expected of them.
If you are able to be at home after school hours, try putting them down for a nap when they get home for just an hour. Or even move up the bedtime for the first half of the year. Put them to bed at 7 if necessary.
These children are tired and they act out with their behavior b/c they don't know how to articulate this.
Be patient and gentle during this year of adjustment for them. We expect so much but they are still so little.

A.,

I had a similar issue with my son, now 7, and our daughter is 3. I learned the first time around that letting them stay up later is not really in their best interest. Kindergarten starts promply at 8:00am. If you think about it, you have to be up at 6:30, to get dressed have breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair (with little hair clips that match her outfit). Not to mention if you go to work getting yourself ready as well. Children need 10 to 12 hours of sleep at night, and the three year old still takes a nap on top of that sleep time. Starting a strict bed time routine helps too. Eating dinner at the same time every night, taking a walk around the block or bike ride (or playing a game if it's raining), bath, brush teeth, read a story and lights out. Even if she doesn't fall right asleep at 8, having that quiet time alone in her room is restfull for her.

And, yes, there are days when the kids don't see dad. When dad is able to spend time with kids...make it "their" time only. Getting one on one time with daddy is special especially for little girls. Also, try to see if there are peticular days he could drop her off at school. Or even better, eat breakfast together at school. Brevard county schools offer free breakfast for ALL Students. Adult breakfast is like $1.40 or something like that.

Remember, its not the amount of time dad's spend with their kids, it's the quality.

All will work out, have faith.

We'll i hate to tell you this, but she needs to be in bed NO later than 8pm on school nights. We have that daddy problem also, and some nights my daughter gets to wait until 8:15or so just so daddy can come home and put her to bed. it sucks, but to keep your sanity it is necessary. also my daughter is "required" by ME to take naps. by naps i mean she has to stay in her bed for at LEASt 1 hour in the afternoon. she doesn't have to sleep, but she HAS to stay in there and rest. sometimes that is all they need at that age. if you do find that this works for you lay her down for an hour when she gets home from school then maybe she will be able to make it until 8:30-9??? i know that screaming child first hand all to well. my daughter just cannot function without enough sleep, so i feel for you. fortunatly they are so easy to change their schedule as long as you are consistent.and if you do snack, then rest time when she gets home it will refresh her and she will be ready for homework, etc. about 4:30. remember this will only last a year or so, she will be able to "hold her own" in the sleep department as she grows. GOOD LUCK!!!!! ~Jen

Hi A.,
when my son started kindergarten it was tuff on him he was so not used to any kind of structure. what worked best for me was once i determined what time he would get home from school i let him have a snack and a very short nap twenty minutes to half an hour. then it was time to do homework. he was much happier after his nap. and it gave me time to destress a bit as well. twenty minutes is a good short nap it wont recharge them too much but it will give them the little boost they need to be humans...at least thats what worked with my oldest son. hes now in fourth grade and some times after school he still needs a small nap just to help him calm down and get into a better mood for homework. his bed time is eight o'clock but he usually goes earlier for time to read. his little brother goes to bed at 7:30 (hes two)..which works out well cause his brother reads him a good night story.. best of luck with your little one and once she gets used to it she'll start being the wonderful little person that you are use to. takes a few months though..
wishing you all the best
S.

I guess I was lucky. My little girl went to a private school for Kindergarten where they did take naps. She has started first grade this year in public school. I think that kids that age do still need naps and she should have one when school gets out and she gets home. Granted, this may prove to be a fight but if she is grouchy like you say, then she at least needs to rest awhile. You can tell her to just lay down and rest for a little bit and she will probably fall asleep on her own. As the year progresses and she gets older, she may get more adjusted to the routine and not have the problem anymore. good luck.