Wait! I Have an Actual Parenting Question!

I have some time for empty nest (2 years before my oldest 3 go to college). And they don't have a lot of stuff. My parents pretty much kept some of my stuff in a closet and eventually it either got picked up or "went away". Sometimes I wish I had held onto some things.
For a friend of mine, her parents boxed things up and told her to come get it or it was being donated. And if she didn't take it with her over the next fews months, it was.

My mom told me to come get my stuff when she knew I was living somewhere pretty permanent. I made a weekend of it, went through everything and took what I wanted and got rid of the rest.

As the wife of a 'collector', I would say your future daughter in law might love you even more if those items disappeared.;)

Here's how my Mom dealt with it.
Once I had my own apartment, she filled a Uhaul with the most critical stuff and moved it into my apartment.
A few years later when we bought our first house - she brought down large/bulky stuff in a covered pick up truck - and the care packages began arriving.
At this point ALL my stuff is out of her house (it's been 35 years) - I'd say all of it was out within the first 2 years of our owning our home.
The care packages have not stopped though.
She's down sizing her own possessions and she's mailing me her entire household one box at a time.
We visit her once a year for a week in the summer and every time we go we bring back heavy/bulky things or at least everything that will fit in a minivan.
She does not intend to leave a mess when she passes away but when she does, I'll be packing it up into a POD (what ever isn't donated or sold in an estate sale) and having it shipped to our home.

For your situation - pack it up into a POD, lock it with your own lock, mail the key/combination to your son so he can open it when it's arrived at his location.
If he wants to use it, store it, chuck it - that's all up to him - and it's out of your hair.

A week after I got home from my honeymoon my dad showed up at my house with a quite a few boxes of my stuff. It was then mine to do with what I wanted. (I think I only kept my year books and a few childhood notes and cards)

My husband on the other hand, has never cleaned up or packed up his closet and bureaus from childhood. We will be married for 20 years in the fall. I occasionally ask him if he wants help cleaning out his childhood bedroom because I really don't think it is fair to his parents but they must not mind too much.

How about asking your son if you should ship him his stuff or trash it.

Five kids, four graduated college and are gone out of the house. Two have purchased their own homes and all of their belongings have been transported there for them . Two are still transient in their dwelling quarters, until career choices/ mate choices decide otherwise, therefore I am storing their important treasures. If I did not have the room, I would request they pay for storage elsewhere.

I know my stuff stayed in my parents house until they were both dead and we sold the house.

Give them a date by which they have to make arrangements to have it shipped to them or it gets donated. My home is not a storage facility and once they have their own home, they can store their own stuff. Of course, if I had a home as large at TF Plano, then it probably wouldn't bother me, but I don't so it does. I want my home to be MY home now; done raising kids and I can do what I want with my space.

I'm not an empty - nester but I'm glad to see a parenting related question lol. My sibs and I are 24 to 38 (not saying where I am in that lol) and I don't think any of us still have stuff at our mom's. I know that I went straight from college to moving 1/2 way across the country with nothing but my car and a prayer, and I didn't get the last of my stuff out of the house till after I moved back, so probably almost 10 years later. She had plenty of room and it wasn't but a few boxes, so it wasn't a huge deal. She has always been good about knowing when it's time - i.e. when we have our own place that is big enough or when we were 100% out on our own...stuff like that. I think it's different for every family.

My daughter is a Junior in college and she lives about 20 minutes away in her own (our) condo.

As a child, she had the entire upstairs of my house to herself... 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, library and game room. So she had her things everywhere.

When she moved, she took most of the furniture from upstairs so her old bedroom only has the vanity that would not work in the condo. Clothes that she wanted to store, are in her closet... prom gowns, etc. Another closet is the cheer closet with all the cheer gear, and then a closet with all the martial arts gear (she is a black belt) so we have a lot of equipment for martial arts as well.

Since my upstairs is pretty much empty now, with exception of the game room with pool table and guest room that has been redone, I have most of her things in closets. She comes over about once a week and sometimes we go through things and she designates what gets donated and I take it to Goodwill.

The rest of the things, including toys, books, games, etc will wait for her to go through when she wants and decide what she wants to keep or donate.

It is not an issue because I have the extra space to store her things.

When I graduated from college, my mom stored most of my things and I am slowly getting things back. On my last visit, she gave me all the albums I had as a teen and some other momentos.

Isn't it fun being empty nester? I LOVED every stage with my daughter and right now I LOVE the stage we are in because we are so close.

My oldest was boxed up to the basement because he shared a room with his brother so out you go. My daughter has been living on her own since she graduated three years ago and just last month got her stuff out of her closet. I guess when it is an extra room it is different.

I have plenty of storage in the basement so I am sure there are things that belong to both of them that will sit there until they buy a house. Seems pointless to move it then move it again.

Once they buy homes I guess we will have to readdress the storage situation.

Oh my god, scary thought, my older daughter is getting married next year, they MUST! have a house by then. I don't think I can handle storing all the wedding gifts and she knows I will if she asks.... o well

My mom kept my stuff until I got married. Then she said - take it or it gets pitched, so I went through it and kept what was still meaningful.

My MIL brought my DH's bins of trophies to our house last month (we've been married more than 15 years). She even moved his stuff with her when she and FIL downsized to a smaller house a few years ago. I really can't believe she kept it so long.

So, based on my experience, it varies really widely :)

I took it upon myself to take care of all of my belongings at my parents' home. My sister on the other hand, still has my mom store some of her things.

I would get your kids to go through some of their things each time they visit.

A lot of their stuff is still here, since they are still in school and not established yet.

We grew up in close quarters. My mom had kept one file folder worth of art work, two stuffed animals and my baptism dress. The rest was passed on while we were still little with our consent. I can remember either my brother or I being particularly fussed.

Hubs is very sentimental and we've got sports gear, puppets, ships in bottles and even child sized wicker chairs that his mother stored, moved internationally and has sent over to us. Most of it sits in space storage bags and never sees the light of day. Still my husband is pleased to have it.

Do what suits you and your kids.
Best
F. B.

My parents kept our stuff until they downsized, which was when I was 30 (older sister was 32, youngest sibling was 25). They announced that they were moving and told us we had X number of weeks to claim what we wanted or it would go in the dumpster they rented to clear out the house. My ILs did the same thing, at around the same time. Childhood house was being sold, and they weren't taking their grown children's stuff with them.

When it becomes an issue (either now if you have no space, or later if you want to reclaim the space the items are taking up or if you move) give your kids some warning and tell them that anything they don't claim gets tossed. It's kind of mean to force the issue if you have oodles of space and a few boxes are taking up a corner of the basement or garage that you wouldn't use anyway, but if the boxes are taking up storage space that you would actually use or you are tripping over them, let him know.

Another tactic would be, if you can wait, to have them take their stuff when they buy a place. At that point, if they really want the old baseball trophies and school work, they can store it in their own basement/attic/garage.

Are you my mother? She still has my siblings 'junk' in her basement and wants it out, but doesn't have the heart to enforce it or toss it. I had wittled my own childhood stuff down to a couple cardboard boxes before I left for college. I took them when I got my own place.

I created 'memory boxes' for my kids. They are plastic hanging file bins. Papers and such go in files. A few larger items fit too. When the first one (K-6) was full, I started a second (7-12). Since I have 2 kids, that will be 4 file boxes, so that amount of space in storage will not be a problem.

I curated the contents to be the most interesting or important. I got rid of a lot more than I saved. Real competition medals and trophies that had to be earned are saved. Participation awards were not. Etc.

Once he has a perminant home of his own, then make arrangements for his stuff to be picked up or shipped to him. :-)

Do something, anything, or you will be like me. My mother never did anything, my sister's bedroom remained my sister's. So when my mom died 3 years ago and I took over the house I ended up boxing up all her stuff. She hasn't come for it yet and now it lives in a shed. Oh, and my other sister left boxes for her estranged son before she died 10 years ago. I have no idea where he is, they are in the shed too. I can be patient as long as I can't see them but the time to work on the shed is coming soon. What am I going to do? Look for anything valuable I can sell and burn the rest. Miss Congeniality has lost her crown!

from the child's point of view:
ASK THEM. my parents have been tossing my things behind my back (or donating them) now that i have kids i have NOTHING from my childhood to show them except for what my grandma saved (she kept almost every thing that we played with at her house and i am having the joy of reliving my childhood at g-mas while cleaning her things out of the house) now that my dad retired he wants to get rid of more stuff and has smartened up and is asking me if i want this or that or if he should toss or donate it. i wish they would of thought to ask years ago when they were new to being empty nesters.

I'm dealing with this right now. There are things from all 4 of my kids here and they've been gone for 2 to 13 yrs. Its to the point of being stupid, Youngest daughter lives with roommates and not much storage so I'm ok with her having her off season clothing here but everyone else owns houses and can store their own things.

I think I'm going to give them a deadline of the 4th of July next year to clear out their things and then throw out everything that's left.

When I moved-moved, my mom continued to store stuff of mine, but mostly because she wanted to and I had no room or means to get it from IL to AZ on an airplane.
When she started snowbirding and shipping her car down here yearly, she would have me go through boxes on my annual visit home over the summer and decide what to keep and load in the car in the winter and what to donate (even so, my Babysitters Club book collection got put in the wrong pile). Each year, there would be a few more boxes, stuff she decided SHE was willing to let go, for me to go through.

My parents still have my brothers Star Wars toys (2 large totes) and a few other totes of books, music, and other stuff at their house. My brother is 41. But since graduating from college he has lived in four different states, Tanzania, Haiti, and now Niger. Hopefully he settles down in a more permanent location before my parents have to move into a nursing home or all his junk will probably end up at my house! But to be fair, my parents also have my saxophone and a few other things. If we drive to their house (1000 miles away) or they drive here they always bring a few things. I'm 44. I feel a little guilty that they have my stuff.

When my SS finally got an apartment with his girlfriend (who had been living with us for 5 years), we had them take all there stuff with them. They tried to leave some stuff behind that they didn't want, but I had them come back to pick it up or throw it away.

I would ask your son if he wants to keep what you have, if he says yes then come up with a way of shipping it. You can get a small POD container and send it to him (there are a lot of companies that do this now).