Very Young Son Going to School

My son is 5 1/2 right now and he is having problems with his speech and "fine motor" skills. The school has therapist there that helps the kids. He is doing lots better in both areas. If the school does not have a therapist on had then ask who they recomend. Now I just need something to keep him still at school...you know toooo much energy all bottled up. I hope that this helps. Ask his ped. doctor aslo for advice.

Our son turned 5 in the October of his kindergarten year, very young. We had just moved to NC from Florida and in Fl he didn't qualify to go to school because of the cut off date but in NC he qualified. So, we signed him up and he excelled in all areas except his fine motor skills. We worked with him and his Teacher was wonderful also. He played play doh a lot and the stress ball was squeezed while he sat down and watched tv, or used a long screw and turned the washer up and down the screw to help strengthen the muscle in his hand. We did end up letting him repeat kindergarten because in first grade in NC the children are required to write quite a bit and take a State writing test (ironically it is today) and we wanted our son to feel comfortable and not feeling like school is a constant struggle. It was the best decision, he is excelling at everything now in first grade, and his writing looks great! I wish you the best, it is a hard decision to make!

My oldest son was the youngest in class until he was in the 3rd grade. The best thing I can tell you is let your gut be your guide. If you feel he isn't ready for the 1st grade, socially or otherwise, keep him in kindergarten. My son has just started catching up socially with his classmates and he is 12 years old. Don't let his teacher or principal bully you into moving him up to the 1st grade if he isn't ready!! I hope this helps!

C., I held my daughter back for the very same reasons...slow in development and slow in emotional behavior. I think it was the best thing for her. But, developmental milestones hit boys at different rates than girls. I am very active in my daughter's school, and have seen young guys who I thought should have been held back for these types of reasons and then all of a sudden, mature over night. But, these things are hard to predict. Do you feel comfortable talking to your school's counselor? He or she should be able to recommend what's best for your child. You may also want to speak to the first grade team leader about your concerns. Most importantly, trust your instincts. Things will work out. One thing you may want to consider for your son: get him involved in some type of sport. Taekwondo is an excellent sport, if offered where you live. It is great for teaching self-esteem and self-discipline. There's many articles on the internet that explain how this activity affects the neurosenses and cognitivity. Hang in there, things will get better.

the first thing i have to say is dont compare you son to your daughter. 2nd is eveb though you nmay think that your son maybe ready for school dont rush him he just may need another year in kindergarten ana dont feel like a failure if you do have to keep him back he will catch up. good luck.

hey C., i dont have a whole lot of advice, but hopefully some reassurance! and its not my child, but my little brother (who is now 16...) when ben was young, he was veeeery slow to get things in school. they wanted him to go to speach therapy (he just wouldnt talk) he wasnt potty trained until he was almost 5... the kid was just SLOOOOOOW! well, it turns out, he is the smartest kid in the world. he was so smart at that age that the 'normal' milestones were a bore to him, he had so much going on inside his head that he couldnt get it out at that young age. now, at 16, he is a sophmore in high school, but takes classes at the local community college (for FUN!) he is class president, is working on his eagle scout project for boyscouts, is the assistant leader of a local youth democracy club, and volunteers for habitat for humanity, not to mention a ton of other things. hes already been accepted to princeton university and harvard... the kid is so smart its scary. so maybe your son isnt really behind, hes just bored with these 6 year old things, and hes just ready to take on bigger challenges!! everything will turn out fine, expecially with such a supportive mother, and he has a sister to look up to :) let me know how it turns out, and good luck hunnie! ~R.

Sounds like you have a big decision to make. I taught first grade for 6 years in NC, just recently stopping to stay at home with my 16 month old son. There is nothing wrong in holding a child back in kindergarten. In fact, if you it ever is done, Kindergarten and 1sst grade are the best places to do it. Sounds to me like he is still very 'young' and immature in some of his behaviors. First grade is HARD these days. The state requires them to so SOOOOOOooo much more than ever before. I really wish they would let kids be kids a little bit longer. I have seen so many kids struggle (boys and girls) jsut because they were a little too young. It continues on through their whole life. When they stay back, there are so many benefits to their academics and well as social skills. Just think, he would go from being the youngest follower to the oldest 'leader'.

My sister and I were great examples of this. My mom pushed me ahead because I could read early and I always lacked in social skills and taking the initiative on things. My sister was held back in starting school just because she needed another year to 'play.' She was a leader through out school. Both of us succeeded highly academic wise but I can see the difference in our personalities because of it.

I hope you can figure out what is best for YOUR child. Each one is different. Even though holding back sounds so bad, it could really turn out to be a very good thing.

Hope this helps!
J.

only a suggestion but have you considered holding him back a year for social and motor maturity. he'll never make up the difference if you dont. i held back my daughter and it was a night and day change.

C.,
That's a tough choice but I think I would hold him back. I had a son with motor delays and ended up in a resource program at his school working with a thearpist and it was awesome for him to have that resource. At that age I don't think it's a bid deal socially now if he was in the the 3rd grade and you had to hold him back that would be different. Plus when I spoke w/ my sons K-teacher she gave me this advice. It's not that harde for them to advance a grade if they are not be challanged, but to have a child struggle within the 1st year remains with them and at least my son got to the point where he didn't like school so in my case holding him back was a good choice. Either way it's a tough call - Good Luck!

If at all possible, consider waiting a year before sending him to first grade. I wish I had with my summertime oldest. She had a difficult time with writing and was about a year behind in developing neat penmanship. We have purposefully kept the older children from entering until a year after they were eligible and have noticed a great improvement.

Hey there! I so understand what you are going through. My son is 6 and in first grade. He started school before he turned five and I feel like he is behind most of the others. I think that is why he is struggling so much. I was told by some mothers that I may need to hold him back in fisrt so he can catch up! He is very smart on some things but other stuff he is behind. I know this isnt help but wanted you to know you are not alone.

B.

Our oldest son, now 37 and a phd, was a young first grader. It was sugg that we allow him to repeat kindergarten. I was worried about holding him back, that it would affecr his self esteem. He was never ON TOP thro his school years, more, average. Also, very immature socially. Whe he got to HS, it was hard not to drive when everyone else did. He did turn out wonderfully, gave me the least trouble of the 3 kids. Is married to a doc now and has 3 children. If I had to do it all over again, I would allow him to repeat the year.