Very Picky Child

Have you tried having him shop with you and letting him help to cook the meal? I never had this issue, but it seems to help some people. I think I have even seen Supernanny use it!

I think she also made a color wheel (like a giant game spinner) and let the child spin it and choose a food from that category. For instance, the red section may have strawberries, raspberries, watermelon, apples, etc. and he can choose any one he wants from it.

Sorry, that is the only idea I have for you! hope it works out!

Have you had him evaluated for oral sensory issues?

This might be part of the problem... he only likes certain textures, or has difficulty swallowing/chewing other textures. Feeding therapy can REALLY help with this.

http://www.reflux.org/reflux/webdoc01.nsf/%28vwWebPage%29...

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a behavioral specialist if you want to look into this.

As you have said, limit the amount of milk.... offer a small amout (4 oz, maybe) at each meal, and tell him he can have MORE milk when he eats a certain amount of food, maybe, or tries new foods. Other than that, offer him water during the day. Juice will fill him up, also, since it does have calories.

I think you need reassurance, so please talk to your doctor again. Make sure your son is healthy. Be assured that pickiness isn't unusual in four-year-olds. Not at all.

When my kids were little, our doctor used to say that you should pick your battles carefully, only picking the ones you can win. A food battle is one you can't win because it's the child's mouth in question, not yours! Sometimes children get themselves into a rut with foods they like. Sometimes it's a power struggle. That's why you need to be careful in the way you approach this.

So don't make it into a war. Be friendly and matter-of-fact, but don't be a short order cook. There's nothing wrong with oatmeal for breakfast, or PBJ for lunch, but serve him what the rest of the family gets. No seconds. No extra snacks. Don't plead with him, and don't get upset. If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. It may seem cruel, but it really isn't. He is making the choice. Your boy has God-given instincts of self-preservation. He WILL eat when he needs to. If he refuses, he's just not hungry. It's amazing how long a child can go without food and still be healthy!

In addition, you might go to your library and look for a children's book called BREAD AND JAM FOR FRANCES, by Russell and Lillian Hoban.

if the dr doesnt find a medical reason hes not eating (ie developemetal delay, or texture issue) then you have allowed this behavoir. my daughter at 3 went a year almost 2 only eating cereal, pbj, chicken nuggets, and frozen mac and cheese. then i had it i cut her off. she went 3 days with out eating dinner and almost 2 full days without eat period.
what i would do with your son is set the new rules he must eat what is on his plate to get a dessert of ---. dont load his plate up but give him small spoon fulls of everything (2-3 bites). dont give in and praise him for doing what was asked of him. then allow him when he is done to have a pudding, ice cream etc.
a child will not let themselves starve. its coming down to a battle of wills and if you dont enforce he will win.
i may not be a popular answer giver with this but it works in the long run. hang in there.

As a Parent Educator, I can tell you that it is important to serve kids healthy foods, but, it is up to the children to eat them. That's what the doctor meant.

Last night, my daughter said she was starved. She wanted ice cream. i didn't have any. Plus, I knew she had eaten already. I put out a plate of organic, raw cauliflower w/ a homemade vinegar & olive oil dip. I put it out and walked away. She was coloring at the table. The plate was empty when I came back.

Try not to send out the message that you are expecting him to eat . He will feel the tension.

If he does have sensory issues, I would seek out an Occupational therapist.

Kids do go on food jags! This is very normal.

If he does NOT have sensory issues, this will probably be a phase.

Even as adults, we sometimes do this. I craved pasta all last wk! I made Tinkyada brown rice pasta every night for 6 days.

Oatmeal for breakfast is great. Try whole grain bread for his sandwiches.
I would buy jelly without corn syrup. If he wants grape juice, try squeezing a few grapes into it. Maybe you can smash a tiny bit of fresh, ripened banana into the pudding !

Hi R.,

the milk fills him up. anyways, I know it makes it more challenging for you but in the end, it's a blessing in desguise. My kids don't eat burgers, mac n cheese, hot dogs (nor most fruits and veggies either). could be a texture issue for him. can you use almod butter instead of peanutbutter? try having fruit on the table. be patient. if you give him vitamins, maybe that's why he's not eating... it may be kiling his appetite. does he get allergy meds? that affects apetite too.
good luck! ~C.~

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/extremely-picky-eaters-st...

Read this article, on kid's eating/pickiness.
Its an ABC news article.

If that's all he will eat, then why not let him eat it? None of those foods are totally terrible.

Serve him the foods he will eat plus one small portion of one other thing. Don't try to get him to try the new food, he may refuse. Sometimes if you just keep serving it, eventually he will try it on his own!

The thing is, he will not eat when he gets hungry. He will go without and get sick. I don't know why people blow this off. Kids will not eat if they do not want it. They will simply go without.

I do however think he's a typical kid who is just eating what he likes. He's not eating brownies and ice cream, he's eating and drinking some very good things that cover a lot of areas.

The V-8 juice alone makes up for all the stuff he's not eating. If my kids would drink that I would never even argue with them when it comes time to eat and they won't. V-8 Juice is awesome.

If he's not around other kids all day like kids in child care are he's not seeing other kids scarf this stuff up. Peer pressure is the best influence when it comes to getting a child to do something out of character.

My daughter is a picky eater and for 3 weeks at a time would eat the same thing breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3 weeks of mac and cheese, 3 weeks of cinnamon toast with cream cheese, 3 weeks of hotdog (yes, yuck). The doctor said to let her be, she will get tired of it. She did drink Pediasure every morning which has lots of vitamins and protein and calcium.
Now she is 12, eats lots of things, still very picky about texture, she is open to trying new stuff if she helped make it herself.
I agree with a lot of advice you were given: put out a plate of food and let him eat it or not. My daughter has difficulty deciding when I ask her what she wants to eat, but if I put it in front of her it will disappear, especially in bite sized pieces with a tiny cake fork.

Maybe try to improvise.... Try saying he can have his favourite meat with three vegetables of his choice... they can't be white and all of them have to be different colours.? could work.

I know it's rough, especially at this age. My son, now 22, ate everything until he was 2 and then he ate certain foods and got picky. My daughter, now 23 had it out for green things from the age of 6 to 8. My youngest, now 15 was a picky, fussy eater from the start, she hated everything! I'm happy to say they all outgrew it. Sounds like your sons appetite includes good healthy things so I would not worry too much. Get a juicer and let him shop for the fruits and veggies HE wants to put in his juice. If he wants no veggies, the beauty of the juicer, is that you can sneak in spinach with all his favorite fruits. The fruits will outweigh the flavor of the veggie you choose. Julie W has a good idea, let him help you shop and cook. I also found with my youngest, that food had to be put out for her, with no pressure to eat it, and she would eat it. I got into the habit of putting a platter together of fruits and veggies, cheeses and dips. I'd put it out and it would be left empty. Good luck.

He'll out grow it.
Our tastebuds change a lot at this age.
He may like these things now but change them later to 8 different things.
Let him eat what he is eating.
Always introduce new things.
Still offer new things. Make a big deal of making sounds like "mmm this tastes so good when you are eating your food."
Keep trying. Things will change.

Ah, sounds like my 8 yr old daughter. We heard the "she will eat it when hungry." lots of times. And she will not. She will starve and then get really moody because she didn't eat. While food jags (where they limit their foods to things like only white foods, or omit certain things) are common in that age group, so are sensory issues. With my daughter, she is what they call a "super taster." she has more taste buds than most people and tastes are more intense. She also has an issue with textures. We ended up taking her to a psychologist that specialized in food issues. He said in all of his 30 years of doing this, he has never met a child that was bothered by a banana seed until he met my daughter. She is within her weight and height range, so that is not a concern, but it is a headache for me. The therapy was grueling and helped only a little. I think if I could have stuck with it a bit more it would have helped more. You would pick a food that they want to try, say banana. Then they would have to touch it to their lips 5 times, then lick it 5 times, then take 5 bites and spit it out 5 times, then bite and chew and spit 5 times, then bite and swallow 5 times. Repeat this 3 meals a day, every day until you can incorporate this food into a meal several times a week. Then they get some kind of reward for following the steps. Hoping this is a phase for you!

My son was the same way at 4, and it was our pediatrician that really kicked it (or started the process anyway; he's still reluctant to try new things). She told him at his 4 year appointment that from now on, he had to have at least one bite of whatever I made for the meal or snack.

It has made a very noticeable difference in his eating! He's tried things like pepperoni and new veggies and found that he actually likes them (after rejecting them for months+). There are still foods that he tries that he doesn't like, and he's allowed to not eat any more within reason. Portion size is also important. You don't heap a new food on his plate; just a tablespoon to start so that he doesn't look at his plate and panic.

My kids (5, 2) also know that they don't get anything until their meal is done. They really don't like it when they don't get bedtime snack because they didn't finish their dinner. (and yes, even my 2yo has twice gone to bed with no snack because she didn't finish her dinner)

Keep offering the food, and try not to stress if he goes a day without eating. This is also normal toddler/preschooler eating. Both my kids have days where they hardly eat a grape, yet a couple days later will pretty much all day long (and those are the days I really have to pay attention to what they're eating).

Stay firm on the milk; it's really not good for us anyway. You could also try making a game of it. Take him to the grocery store with you and have him pick something new. Maybe you could make 3 choices and have him pick one. Depending on what he chooses, you could then allow him to choose one small thing that you know he likes.