Veggie Attending Non-Veggie Thanksgiving

We all can do just fine with limited protein for one meal. I would not bring the fish. I would quietly eat what you want from what is offered. I believe in not making a deal about food. The point of a meal with family is to be with family, the food is just a side benefit.

I think I would just eat the non meat things that will be there and skip bringing a fish to Thanksgiving. Also, I'd not make a big deal out of being vegetarian because it makes you sound like you are "special".

Not (Thanksgiving) I do not celebrate (Thanksgiving) But just to say ... " I do not eat any Pork products." If I am attending a dinner where they are serving "say" ham. I do not disrespect the host by bringing a alternative dish. I avoid the ham and any sides with pork products in it and enjoy the dinner. ... On the other hand I have never attended a Thanksgiving dinner I am under the impression all food are excepted and appreciated in the feast. So I would say to you bring plenty for everyone. If they do not enjoy, do not be offended. No two people are the same or like the same things.

J. Wessica-

I would just eat a big meal before hand, and eat those items on her menu that are permissible according to my diet/ beliefs. If you are still hungry afterwards, have your salmon at home. I don't think its ok for guests to impose on their hosts, even if its family, and even if its thanksgiving.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Hello fellow veg! I'm a vegetarian, my husband is vegan, and we're raising our daughter to be vegan. I can help! I think the fish idea sounds great, and I too think it doesn't really matter what your parents think. Why would your mom have to ask your dad? That's crazy! You bring what you want to bring. Every year, we bring mashed potatoes, roasted brussels, vegan gravy to my in-laws house. Every year, we eat it, and we share if someone wants to try it. One year we bought a tofurkey, and it was really good, actually! It's stuffed with "stuffing", and I'd have to say, if cooked right, it's delicious! So personally, if I were you, I'd definitely bring whatever it is you want to eat as your main dish. Don't rely on your family to understand or attempt to offer a solution (although it sounds like your mom did with tofurkey), just take care of it yourself. That's what we do, and it's totally fine. :) If I were you, I'd dive in for a tofurkey. It's really good! :) this one was amazing... see if I can post a link... this brand is amazing... http://store.veganessentials.com/field-roast-stuffed-cele...

ENJOY!

Don't they do enough sides that you can have those? I would be happy to ditch the turkey and eat a ton of sides at Thanksgiving. I'm not vegetarian but have seen probably eight or 10 different articles, advice columns, manners columns and TV segments in the past few weeks about vegetarians/vegans and Thanksgiving and the consensus seemed to be, eat what there is at your host's that you can eat, rather than bringing in your own entree. Since this is your family, though, I would think that it's more doable for you to bring something, but I do get your mom's hesitation about fish; I know a surprising number of people who find the smell of fish (even if you cook it elsewhere and only reheat at mom's) to be overpowering and unpleasant. (Fish-lovers like you and me don't get that all the time, but I do see how others might find it really strong.)

I'd respect your mom's hesitation here and not do the salmon or bring a possibly disappointing tofu "turkey" or whatever, and just bring some great vegetarian sides instead. Bringing sides telegraphs a message of "I'm here to help you out" whereas bringing a solo entree telegraphs a message of "Your food isn't what I eat and I must accommodate myself." Not saying you personally are feeling that, only that it's the consensus of the many things I've read this year on the topic (Miss Manners, Ask Amy, others). If you were going to a friend's family's dinner, or a coworker's event, etc., I would definitely not bring an entree unless the host asked you to do so, but since this is mom's, you can work it differently. Still -- I would not do the fish since those odors really do permeate things even if you're only reheating it there.

I'm vegan and still bringing the turkey (go figure) to my family's Thanksgiving celebration, among other things. I'm making sweet-potato casserole vegan style, cranberry relish, and green bean almondine. So, I won't be subsituting a protein for myself, I will just eat the vegan sides. My sister is also vegan so she will be providing some vegan dishes as well. My mom will be doing her regular dishes that aren't vegan but diabetic friendly. So, all in all everyone will be happy, without any special arrangements being made! Maybe you could just forget about the fish, since there will be pleanty of other sides for you to fill up on?

Either way, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

As a pescatarian who is also gluten, corn, dairy and nut free I feel your pain. I am hosting Thanksgiving, I will be making everyone else turkey but will be making shrimp for myself. There will also be no bread stuffing but instead a rice dish that my oldest son loves. I hate feeling like I am being a difficult guest but no one else can grasp what kind of pain you can be if you don't adhere to your diet. My advice, bring what you are comfortable eating and a dish that can be shared by all. (which you indicated you were) They should be happy they are spending the day with you and not worried about what you are putting in your mouth. I have never done the store bought tofurky because of the gluten in it but I have made my own. There are recipes out there for it that are fabulous (with stuffing and all) they are time consuming but worth it! (I don't remember which one I used!) sorry hope that helps

I'm guessing that she didn't know how to respond to the idea of everyone else eating bland, dry turkey while you ate a nice piece of salmon.

My niece went through a vegetarian phase a few years back. It didn't last long, but we did host a large family dinner at our house during that time. I still served the pork loin, but made sure that we had roasted vegetables and a hearty pasta as side dishes (wild mushroom ravioli) so that she wasn't relegated to salad and a dinner roll. In turn, she offered to bring a few vegetarian appetizers so that I wouldn't have to account for that as well! She brought 4 or 5 different appetizers and made sure to eat plenty of those just in case!

Sounds like you have a pretty good compromise.

If I had a guest coming that had certain dietary restrictions, I would try my best to have a dish or two available that they could eat even if the entire meal wasn't gluten free for example.

I think that is just courtesy and hospitality. I wouldn't have a problem with trying to accomodate my guests the best that I could. I would have a problem, however, if a guest started making demands on my entire menu. I was a server while working my way through college...I could never understand why folks that were so picky with their food would want to go out to eat.

It sounds like you have some dietary concerns and you are addressing them yourself yet still contributing to the meal. No one should have a problem with that...

I'm not in this situation, but I must say that I find it annoying that your mom has to clear this with your dad. You offered to cook it at home, what's the big deal? I think you handled it perfectly, and should proceed in bringing it. If you're not sure what you'll be able to eat, it might be a good idea to bring a lot of your own food so that you can enjoy the meal.

My sister and brother-in-law are vegetarians. They don't live near us, so always spend holdays with his family who are not vegetarians. They bring Tofurkey and many other side dishes so they can have plenty to eat.

Good luck!

From someone who is a non-veggie, if I was hosting I would not want salmon on the table for Thanksgiving Dinner. However though I would try to make accomidations to have other dishes that where made so a veggie/vegan would be able to eat them. I would suggest maybe bring some side dishes to share with the family that fit into your family traditions which I am sure would not offend your host or the other guests.

I'm going to make a guess and say that your mom's response of "I'll have to ask your dad" was a way of stalling you so they could talk about it. I'll bet she wasn't really asking your dad's permission. That's usually the case when someone says "I'll have to ask ___."

I have food allergies, and I have to say that going to an event that is centered around eating is NOT FUN when you can't eat what's on the menu. I understand the suggestion of "eat a big meal ahead of time and then just eat what you can" but I have to say that anyone who suggests that has never had to sit at a table and nibble on 2-3 side dishes while everyone else enjoys a full meal!

I would say that eating a big meal ahead of time would work in a situation where you weren't very close to the host, or the host had no way to know or accommodate your dietary needs.

Since it's family, I think bringing your own entree is fine. I have learned to do it myself and no one has ever said anything or made me feel odd for doing it. Most hosts WANT their guests to have a good time and enjoy themselves. Enjoying the meal is just part of being a good host.

If your fish doesn't have a smell then I would think it would be okay but I can imagine the smell of fish competing with the smell of turkey might be gross.

Good luck with your meal! Happy Thanksgiving!

My aunt was a vegetarian, and she always brought her own little "entree" and warmed it up here. She also ate many of our sides including potatoes, veges, salad and dessert. It wasn't a big deal at all!
For what it's worth she HATED the tofurkey!!!

Fresh, non-farmed salmon, when cooked properly, has hardly any fishy smell. I like to steam mine in foil with butter, garlic, fresh cracked pepper and salt. Add a little lemon to taste after it's cooked.

Enjoy!

I honestly don't see the issue if you are not asking anyone to do anything special for you. I have lived my life with dietary restrictions, for different reasons.

I always make the cornbread for the dressing, so a couple of years ago I told my mother that I would be making it gluten free. I told her that I would not be able to enjoy the gravy because of the flour in it, but I didn't ask her to change that. She decided last year to keep the gravy gluten free. Same for this year. I never ask anybody to do special stuff for me, just don't get in my way when I take matters into my own hands.

I do believe there was fish present at the first Thanksgiving, wasn't there?

If they are otherwise supportive of you bringing dishes or having something besides turkey (they were ok with to-furkey right?) then I don't see why this would be any different. Unless they are thinking THEY might want some of the fish also? Torfurkey isn't all that appetizing to non-vegans, but perhaps the salmon would be? Maybe like eating a brownie in front of someone trying to avoid sweets or something. Just a thought.

My mom can only eat certain things she's not vegetarian but she will take what she can eat and no one to me has the right to say yes you can bring it or no you can't. At least you are being thoughtful and not cooking it there!

I'm vegetarian and I always just eat all the side dishes. Its plenty of food. One time my BILs uncle joined us for Tgivs and he was on a macrobiotic diet or something so he brought a single serving of salmon that we broiled up for him. No big.
For me though I just eat whatever else there is. I've been vegetarian since I was about 5 and I've never asked anyone to make special stuff me, I just eat side dishes and salad. I'm not really veg for any reason other than I don't like to chew up meat... so I eat stuff made with chicken broth etc no problem. Or things with meat mixed in all small, I just eat it and pick around it. So maybe it is harder to adjust if your doing it for health or moral reasons.

My sister-in-law usually makes a shrimp quiche for my niece's husband, and whoever else might like some. Between the quiche and the side dishes he has more than enough to eat.

I do think that if you are bringing salmon you need to bring enough to share, not just a portion for yourself. That is the only issue I would have with the salmon.

Did you get an answer from dad? If he/they say no, I wouldn't bring it. They are hosting. It's disappointing that it was handled that way, but that's neither here nor there at this point.

We are vegetarian, and we usually bring the tofurky or Quorn brand 'roast'. Both good in my opinion. Worth trying, anyway!

Going forward, just give your mom (or other host) the options of what you'd like to bring for your protein/main dish and negotiate. They may just be having a hard time getting used to your new diet.

Tofurkey is awful. My mom made it one year and it had to be thrown out.

I think you are handling it just fine. It's your mom, not someone that you have to worry about offending!

We have a "favorites" Thanksgiving. My mom makes a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and everyone attending brings their favorite things to contribute. You would fit right in at our table! :) Of course, we do have vegetarians in the family and people who adhere to strict healthy diets and we find ways to accommodate cheerfully!

i'd assume the smell is why she thought that. maybe old and stubborn

my nephew (my ex's side, so this year and last year i wont get to do this=( ) is vegan and we made sure to get the vegan butter and also put aside a few sides before adding non vegan things to them, so he had tons of options.

Honestly a lot of people hate the smell of fish, even if you're J. heating it up. i;d skip the fish and bring a vegan mac and cheese and sweet potatoes or something filling (stuffed mushroom caps?) dish and then eat veggies, there are plenty not meat sides to get your fill.

i wouldnt bring the fish if i was you
ETA
OR I'd bring sushi that doesnt take heating up...so no smells

Could it have to do with the smell? I cannot stand the smell of salmon and would be really bummed if it were eaten at the Thanksgiving day table.

My DH and younger DD are vegetarian. And now my older DD is a vegan. So I'm the only meat eater in my immediate family. Since the extended family hosting and all other relatives are meat eaters, DH and DD are in the kitchen right now making a vegan pumpkin pie to bring. Also, DH will make vegan stuffing and gravy and potatoes to bring. They'll just skip a "main entree" and fill up on sides. DH tried making tofurkey one year and he didn't like it at all. Surprising, because he loves almost all vegetarian products.

Fish stinks when it is cooked, that may be what she's thinking. It would be nice if you could take something that wasn't so hard to do. Plus they may be in the kitchen cooking and need all the space they can get....it might just be nicer to do a non meat like item and eat stuff there plus the warm stuff you bring.

I've served dinner at my home for vegetarians, gluten free, peanut free and even my best friend's daughter who has a life threatening allergy to anything contaminated with a milk product. I like to be considerate and offer options to people who, I'm sure, feel like they stick out like a sore thumb in mixed company. Having said that, if someone offered to bring their own prepared food to take the pressure off me, I'd be thrilled. You're not asking for special treatment so your parents shouldn't have a problem. You sound like someone I'd like to invite to my house.