I have not gone through a VBAC. I was in your shoes prior to delivering my second child, and considered it. My doctor said that she doesn't do them, and I would have to switch hospitals because my hospitals don't do them either. She told me some scary statistics - I took them with a grain of salt, knowing both options have their risks, but her comments did dissuade me from the VBAC. After considering both sides, I felt I would be more comfortable with another C-section, personally.
I'm sure others will get angry reading this, but in retrospect I think sometimes the decision to have a VBAC is a selfish one. You are already the parent of one child, and it's your responsibility to do the safest thing to keep yourself alive for that child. Sometimes people are so stubborn about wanting to go through the "glorious" experience of a natural birth, but that desire is selfish - it doesn't benefit the other members of your family in any way, and it doesn't benefit your baby.
I'm not a medical professional so I don't know if VBACs are more risky or not, and I'm sure the risk is different for each person. But IF your doctor says it's too risky, it's not worth it for your own selfish desire.
Yes I momentarily felt like a failure after having my first child by emergency C-section. Now that I've had 2 C-sections, I'm over feeling that way. I don't feel any less of a woman or any less accomplished. I have 2 great kids that I was able to bond with from hour 1. And the recovery from the second C-section was way faster than the first time.
By the way, it is not accurate that a scheduled C-section HAS to be 2 weeks before the due date. The date is something you and doctor decide on together based on various factors. I had mine 10 days before my due date, and my friend had hers 4 or 5 days before the due date.