When I was growing up we rode the Joy Bus to church and our parents never went. As adults, my husband and I always go to church with the kids. I would love to get in an extra workout. I know the youths parents dont go with them. But what about the 6 yr olds? There are way more 6 yr olds than the 10 of us in Bible Study. DId thier parents drop them off? Is that acceptable? I've always felt I needed to be there in case they needed me, not that they ever have! At what age is it appropriate?
I see judgement abounds once again. We take our children to church, at least twice a week. I am on several comittees and volunteer. They love it and beg to go. I also take them to work out with me 4 days a week. They also love that and beg to go. There are great kid activities going on at church Wednesday nights. Our wednesdays are geared toward children and youth. That's when they have the run of the church. There is a small group, about 10 people that meet in the kitchen for Bible Study. I have grown very weary of the Bible Study. We have been on the book of Exodus for 3 years! I would rather go to the Yoga class that is only offered on Wednesday night, but don't want the kids to miss out on thier wed night church fun. I don't need them to be babysat, they could go to the Y with me. If I have to choose one or the other, it has been church. But if I could take them to do what they want and I can still go do what I want - well that would be peachy.
I just would not feel comfortable dropping off a 6 year old regardless where i was dropping them off.
Yes...the bus came and picked up me and my sisters' kids when they were little. My sister's daughter...then about 6 was all dressed in a peach cute frilly little dress one Sunday..with black pattan leather shoes. When the bus came to drop them off...we stepped on the bus to get them off....and my little niece was sitting on the lap of a young man...around 18yo...her legs were spread on each side of his knees....they never went again alone.
Many of you know that I am Agnostic...but I do take my kids to the church I grew up in every Wednesday night. I drop them off and my husband picks them up. However, my A. is always there in attendance (she's only 10 years older than I and her boys my kids age go as well).
The same ladies whose kids I attended church with are the ladies in charge now. So I know them, trust them. But most of all they know EXACTLY how to get a hold of me and that I would leave my volleyball game in an instant if they needed me to come back.
I don't use it as a babysitter...on the nights that my husband is out of town the kids go with me to volleyball. I do, however, take snacks for all the kids who attend, help with supplies and would do anything they need me to do except listen to the preaching! They know this.
ETA: J.B you say hypocritical? I say no it's not. I'm giving my children the option to choose their own beliefs. If they want to be believe in a God that I don't believe exists then that is ok with me. At least I'm open to letting them, at least I'm not forcing my children to believe something they don't want to believe!
ETA 2: Last night on my way home from work my four year old called and said "Mom, would you please take me to church tonight?"...how am I to say no to that? He wants to go, he wants to learn, but why should I (and I'm only speaking for me and my beliefs) subject myself to listen to religion when I don't believe? I don't stay because when I do I ask questions that no one can really answer! And people get offended.
Well, try this on for size ~ my husband and I are leadership in our church and we dropped the kids off at AWANA and went for an hour long walk. Last week we dropped them off and went out to dinner! And the week before that I stayed home and watched Frasier on Netflix!
Drop them off and go do what you need to do. There's only so much of Exodus a body can take.
We volunteer for many things at our church, and we believe that being pressured or guilted into EVERY activity is not good for anyone. Be free drop the kids off and go to Yoga! God's not keeping an attendance sheet on you! :)
~ Oh, and Aunt Mel Mel, you are a good mama and sound like a fabulous lady. I'm sorry that some dolts get offended when you ask hard, intelligent questions. Keep it up! :)
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T.,
People drop their kids off at churches all the time! VBS, anyone?
If YOU are comfortable leaving once they are where they need to be...then do it.
I would probably walk them in (you would too, I'm sure) and let the person in charge of the class or activity know how to reach you.
Sheesh....some people!
My parents let me walk to church. So my friend and I would go to church, grab a bulletin from the earlier mass and grab a book once a month so we knew what the readings and gospels were. My mom liked to quiz me to make sure I went. :p
Oh if you didn't pick up on it we didn't stay, it was boring. We would go to the quick shop and play video games. :)
ETA: The Weds night scenario is different than the Sunday service scenario. If you explained that upfront then I would have had a different response earlier.
We used to attend Scout-type meetings mid-week at our church as children. My mother did not stay for those unless she was leading a class. I see no problem in a child attending MYF or other mid-week kid activities sans the parent. I think if they are mature enough to attend on their own (you figure it out for your own children) then, yes, I think you can drop them off to go do yoga. Like you wouldn't stay for Girl Scouts or similar.
COMPLETELY different, IMO, than it first sounded.
Second Edit: Ditto to AV. Your edit to your question completely changes the scenario and my answer. Hopefully you didn't feel judged by my answer. I was simply trying to relate my experiences based on your first presentation of the situation. We were always dropped off on Weds. youth nights. No parents stayed except those who committed to the church to help with the youth.
Edit: My answer only applies if the children aren't begging to go to church every week.
My parents got to where they dropped us off and it sent a really bad message. At first they dropped us off for Sunday School and then would join us for church. However, that eventually stopped. It really showed that going to church really wasn't a priority for them and taught us that it wasn't a priority, period.
I don't think there's an appropriate age to drop your kids off. You either believe that attending church is important and you show that by attending as a family, or you don't believe it's important.
Dropping the kids off will, obviously, get them in the seats and get them to be around while someone talks about their religion/beliefs. However, dropping them off while you don't attend tells them that it's not important so they don't really need to pay attention or believe.
I don't think it's appropriate to drop your kids off to be babysat at church while you're off doing whatever. Our 1 year old goes to the nursery since we spent more time keeping him quiet than we could actually listen. These parents obviously aren't very invested in their child's religious upbringing. I guess this probably is one of those time where you just suck it up and be the good role model for these kids. If it's an obvious distraction to bible study you have every right to privately discuss the matter with the group leader.
I say what your doing is fine if thats what they want.
My mom always dropped us off on Wed. night church and then when I was doing "bible drill" (all you baptists know what I'm talkin' about - LOL)
she'd drop me off those nights too.
I think it is acceptable as long as the leaders know how to get in touch with you or your husband.
We go to mass as a family on Saturday night or Sunday morning, but we drop them off for their CCD classes on Wednesday night unless they need a substitute teacher - then we stay and help. We get so much accomplished during their class time, and it's a mini-date with my husband! I don't think God frowns on that. :)
You are the example your kids will see for what they should do.
If you take them to church, then they will learn church and what they teach there. If you drop them off at church, you are telling them that church doesn't mean anything to you and when they are "grown up" they don't have to go any more. (One of the reasons the cigarette companies told the kids not to smoke until they were old enough was so they would look at smoking as an adult practice.)
My wife and I took our kids to church. Except when we were sick or nursing a sick kid we went to church. I'd say over the last 40 years I may have missed church maybe a dozen times. When my wife are on vacation, we always stop at the local church of our religion. We have always been welcomed. My wife and I will celebrate our 39th anniversary in July. I'd say you could count the number of times we've missed church on two hands.
Good luck to you and yours. Maybe, if we ever visit Grand Prarie, we'll see you in church. ;~))
I drop my kids off at church youth group on Wednesday, every Wednesday and have for years.
Children learn tons of stuff even if we are not with them!! I didn't go to school with my daughter and she turned out pretty darn brilliant. We can be fantastic examples without being with them every second of every day.
My parents on the other hand farmed us out to all sorts of friends for church services of all kinds....I'm certain they were home having sex!
There is no reason you can not drop them off especally on Wednsday night if it's geared tword the kids. At our church on Wedsnday nights most parents to drop off the kids. At least with ours they make you register your child and have contact info on you so if anything happens they can get ahold of you. Don't feel like you have to stay there.
Good luck and God Bless!
I would suggest talking to your Bible study leader about your concerns of reading Exodus for 3 yrs being too long. There are so many great studies and I encourage you to let the Holy Spirit guide your study. Yoga is not exactly the best substitute for a lack of interest in your Bible study. If your Bible leader will not try something new then I would encourage you to have your own study. Get your own study guide or pick your own Bible stories to learn about and let the Holy Spirit guide you. Then save the money that you would spend on yoga for something else like maybe a family trip with your Church or feed a starving family for a year...
Today's Living Faith "It All Starts With God". "It was not you who Chose me, but I who chose you..." John 15:16
If there was something for adults on Wed. nights we went but if not we dropped our kids at Awana and picked them up. We knew the workers, etc. so it was 'safe' to do that.
I would say though that it's a real shame to be on the book of Exodus for 3 years. You need some real Bible study that is more than one book for so long. Maybe find a different group or something.
What if you and your husband took turns going with them? Or have another adult that you are close with keep an eye on them. My parents always went with me, and now take my brother's kids even if my brother and his wife can't go or are sick.
It also depends on how well-behaved your kids are. My son is 10, and I rarely take him to church at all because he becomes disruptive even violent when off ADHD meds on the weekends.
I never dropped my kids, I always went too.
I feel the safety issues might be a bit of a concern, if you have an adult you trust that knows how to reach you and will keep an eye on the kid/kids. then i think you are ok, to miss one part of the church experience.
In my personal opinion, I think that the kids and the parents should both go that way they see your example. I feel you about being on the same subject for 3+yrs. Yeah it's way long overdue to change the subject. Why don't you suggest that and you could study something else?
Are you saying that the parents didn't go to services at all? That seems very hypocritical to me. My parents would do the drop off/pick up if we needed to attend Mass at different times. This was common when my mom worked weekends as a nurse or when we had sports or our own jobs to fit it, but they would still find a way to get us to and from Mass even if they were attending a different service.
But to dump your kids off and go off and do other things and not attend services yourself would seem lazy and hypocritical to me. I teach religious education and one of my pet peeves is that I have kids in my class whose parents will drop them off for class and pick them up, but they never bother actually taking the kids to Mass. What's the point of going through religious education if you don't actually bother with weekly worship? Dropping kids off for Sunday school is fine, but IMO not actually going to the actual services as a family is not.
