UPDATE - Follow up to Question Regarding Cousin Helping DH Get Job

I suggest that the fact that this is taking so long is an indication that there is no job available. I suggest that the cousin is not telling you this because he's still hoping or that he's not wanting to face you.

I suggest that you either forget about this angle or that you directly ask the cousin what is going on. Either way definitely continue to search for employment. Since he's interested in driving truck, I recommend that he go ahead and arrange for training. If the cousin were to come thru he can still opt out of the idea of driving truck.

I think if anyone is going to say something to the cousin, it's needs to be your husband. If he's not going to say anything then let it go. Regardless, your husband should absolutely apply to do the CDL if he's interested/willing to do that. Even if he takes that job and starts working and THEN the cousin comes through with a job, great, he can always switch jobs, but he needs to get one first! It's unfortunate that your cousin seems to be more talk than walk with the job thing, and I get that it puts you in an uncomfortable position with everyone, but it's time for you and your husband to consider that this is not longer a prospect.

You both need to give up on this mystery job that doesn't seem to exist, which is what most of the respondents on your first post said. Most likely the cousin in law spoke out of politeness or a feeling of obligation before speaking with her husband. Now husband is in an uncomfy place.

Honestly, it sounds like the attention is being placed on the wrong person. I don't know many men who would be content with their partner being the only breadwinner for such a long time. What is DH's line of business, and what types of jobs is he applying for? Has he registered at a placement agency? Is he applying for multiple jobs a day? Where is he applying? Because from what I see, the people saying they can't find jobs are the ones that won't apply for anything that is "beneath" them or doesn't pay a certain amount.

Unless there is a huge sum of $ involved in the CDL driving school, then I would say he should go ahead and pursue that avenue. Even if (IF) the cousin in law comes through down the road, your husband will then have his CDL and more options. What if he DOES get offered a position through the cousin-in-laws connections, but then it doesn't work out? You will be right back at square one. Let hubby proceed with the CDL training now, and then he will always have that in the future. :)

That last statement you made..."we would rather us both be working"...I think maybe it could be rephased "I would rather us both be working".Frankly...you haven't painted a very good picture of your husband. He could have found something to do in 3 years. It sounds like you are gonna have to force him to do something on his own. My bet is that you are the one that is doing all the worrying about him getting a job. I just can't imagine a man staying home all those years and not helping out by getting a job. And I'm sure you carry the majority of the bulk of child care and housework. Forget about dear cousin-in-law...he might have the same opinion of your husband as I do...that's just a crutch your husband is using to not get up off his a@@ and do something on his own. He wouldn't be sitting around my house.

At this point, probably better to assume that the cousin in law will NOT come through with anything. Your DH needs to go ahead and proceed as if there is no cousin in law opportunity. Sounds like you have more problems than just his job. If you are doing more around the house than he is despite him not working for 3 years, then I would pitch one hell of a fit. That is NOT right for sure.

Hopefully, he'll just ask his cousin about it. He'll just have to keep plugging away at finding a job. I know it is so hard. I wish you all the best! Thank you for the update!

Do nothing. They are aware that your husband needs a job. To do anything to "hurry" the process will just be pushy and uncomfortable. Nor should he put a halt to any plans "in case" something comes through.....all the best!

It was nice that a cousin in law spoke at the party. Just go on as usual and do your own thing because the cousin isn't going to help.

Do the truck driving thing. Let him get the experience he needs and then let him apply at a company locally. It will be tough in the beginninge being a trucker's wife and the budgeting but it can be done. The kids will miss him at first but they will understand that daddy is away and making money to pay the bills so we can live in this house.

Don't get discouraged. I have a cousin whose daughter has been looking for work for the last 3 years with degrees. So it is not just hubby but the economy.

Keep the faith and keep putting one foot in front the other and something will come up.

Happy new year.

The other S.

I would say that you have a few options. Hubby is willing to let things go as they are.

So, if you are willing to fight, argue, push, shove, etc...to make hubby get out and get a job then do so.

If you are willing to let him take them lead and let him work it out on his own until he gets one no matter how long then do so.

Otherwise if your family is going hungry, going without things they need or just really want, if your family would do better with a steady income then I guess you will have to go out and provide that income.

I bet once dad stays home doing the housekeeping, ends up staying at home with the child a few days, and once school starts having to be "mom's" taxi service, etc...that he will be out pounding the pavement so fast it will make everyone's heads spin...lol.