My 3 year old daughter is fully potty trained when it comes to going pee. She also sleeps through the night without accidents. But she will not poop in the toilet. She wants a diaper so she can go poop. I've tried all sorts of rewards to get her to try and go poop on the toilet to no avail. She says it is too scary. Help please.
It is scary for some kids to see/feel something going out of their body. With my son I would let him see that momma went and then we would have him try. Kinda gross but it was like a competition. And he got used to the idea.
Good luck!
Not unusual at all!!!
My daughter - she trained in 2 days, no problem peeing in potty, went right to underwear, but wouldn't poop in the potty no matter what! She wanted a pull-up and would only go in one. UGHHH! I tried EVERYTHING, bribes, rewards, etc. I went back and forth between "no pressure, honey" and "this is gross!" but it didn't matter. Every time I tried to encourage her, it ended up in a fight. Easier said than done, but I bit my tongue and backed off.
She would never really articulate "why" and I think it was some fear, but also some stubbornness. One of the big issues was that she always pooped standing up and really wasn't comfortable sitting. We tried major and minor bribes and nothing seemed to work. She would cry and scream and have such a fit! She was really frightened and upset. She never pooped in her undies, though. She would hold it forever. So the idea of just "not giving her a diaper" or saying "we ran out" didn't work for us. She'd hold it for so long that we'd end up with a very constipated kid and it'd hurt when she finally did poop - 4 days later!
First, we said she had to go into the bathroom - that's where people poop - not grunting in the corner of the living room... (why do people let their kids do that? lol) She would go to the bathroom, I'd help her put on a pull-up and she'd stay in the bathroom and do her business. So she had to miss out on whatever else was going on - playing, etc. She was not allowed to wander around in that diaper, going when and where she felt like. I'd clean her up and then put her back into underwear.
We then gradually worked on SITTING on the potty (in the pull-up.) We wrapped up about 25 small presents (playdoh, markers, little toys, etc) and every time she went sitting on the potty with the pull-up, she got to pick out a package. She knew that when the presents ran out, it was time to go without the pull-up. She really wanted a "real" camera, so we said she could get one the day she pooped in the potty. When that day came, she was very upset and cried and didn't want to, but I really pushed her and stuck to my guns. After she did it ONE time, that was it. We bought the camera and never had another problem. I kind of wish that I got tougher, sooner. But then, it wasn't worth having her get horribly constipated and in pain. I'd rather she go in the pull-up than not go for days and days.
I've also heard of people using this tactic and then cutting holes in the pull-ups, so they'd wear it and sit on the potty and end up going IN the potty, "wow, honey, look at that! what a surprise!" Sorry to say, this went on for nearly a year after she was potty-trained! But once she finally did it, she never had an accident and never had a problem after that. I have known and heard of lots of kids with this pooping issue!
The Potty Pal Toilet seat worked for us. My son was afraid that he was going to be "Flushed Away" like in the movie on the toilet seat rings because they moved around. This is a permanent seat so it is very secure. We bought ours on target.com for $25 and we could not be happier. We have one upstairs and one down. I highly recommend it! Good luck!!
L., try using a small potty that is put inside the adult toliet! Maybe that will help her! Good luck!
Hi L.- This might be back-tracking, but will she poop in a potty chair? Maybe the thought of the poop (something that was in her) falling into this watery oblivion is scary to her. Maybe if she poops in a potty chair, she can dump it into the big potty. That way, she has control of the poop going in and seeing where it goes. After she does that for a little bit, maybe you can rationalize with her pooping directly into the potty.
Good luck!
Hi L.,
This is not an unusual question at all, I think. I've heard (on Mamasource and elsewhere), this story plenty of times: you are not alone! :)
One of my best friends (an OB-GYN) and I believe in a very direct approach. She had her little girl help her gather up and throw her diapers away after months of the same story as you: no more diapers. She said it worked right away.
My son just didn't want to sit there that long; so at his usual poo-time, I sat him on the toilet and left him there with a word not to get up until he pooped. The first day it took him 40 minutes; the second day took him 25; the third day took him about 10. Once he realized he wasn't getting out of it, he'd be done in 2 minutes, and he'd even go more than once a day voluntarily.
Today, he'll still wait until it's an absolute "now" situation before he takes himself to poop, but he's, like, a speed-pooper (ha, ha!)
You are in good company. Don't worry, a little consistency and she'll "get it."
T
I one of my children was like that she said it was a part of her and didn't want to flush part of herself. Give it time and don't get into a power struggle over it. It is your child's body and pooping is something in her control. Maybe if you can think of some other things she can have control over that may help.
L.,
My daughter just went through that same exact phase. I thought that she would never go poop in the toilet. But within time she came around. Give it some time. In the end, when she would ask for a pull up, I would tell her we had no more and she needed to use it in the potty. That also seemed to work. Good luck!
We are working through similar resistance right now and are using instant rewards upon "delivery" into the toilet. Our daughter was tracking towards witholding, a place I did not want to go at all. So we got 10-15 matchbox cars and they are in the package in a basket in the bathroom. When poop goes in the toilet, she can pick out a car. The car idea had worked for our child care teacher and we thought it was worth a try. I am hoping that she does not loose interest in this before it is a habit, but it seems to work for right now. We also make a big deal about the event, stating how happy and proud we are and if Dad is not around, we will even call him to share the good news :)
While she is on the toilet I will read to her a book of her choice, but I will call an end if it takes too long (about 15 min.) and we will try again an half hour or so later.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
D.
After she poops in her diaper, dump the poop into the toilet and let her flush until she gets tired of that step and eventually will go on the potty. Clean her right there while standing up also, followed by hand washing. This is actually what should be done with all bm's as recommended on the diaper package, better for the enviornment. The Everybody Poops book is helpful too.
Patience, it won't last forever. Good luck!
My MIL gave my son a book, "Everybody Poops". It's really a great book and now my daughter who is 2, reads it everytime she is on the potty. Maybe you can find it online? We found a used copy at a yard sale one day. Not sure of the author.
Good Luck! I also take my daughter into the bathroom to flush her poop in the potty when she goes (still in diapers) and she seems to enjoy saying "goodbye".
What happens if you just don't give her a diaper? Will she go in her pants?
L.,
Not an unusual question at all. Looking at some of the other responses, it is quite common. My daughter went through the same stage. Fully trained when it comes to pee. She would always ask me for a diaper when she had to poop. I tried everything, stickers, treats, special outings... Anything I could think of. "No, just a diaper" was her response. I just made a bid deal out of changing her diaper. I made sure it took a long time (time away from playing). Got her cleaned up really well, etc. Hoping to make her realize that it was quicker and easier to poop on the potty. Everytime she would ask me for a diaper, I would ask if she wanted to poop on the potty. I tried not to force the issue. Every once in a while, I would be able to bribe her into it. Then, one day, she came to me and asked for a diaper, and I asked if she wanted to poop on the potty. Her response was simply, "Ok." Since that day, she has pooped on the potty. Be patient, one day, it will click for your daughter, too.
maybe a potty chair will help. Maybe the "splash" scares her...You never know what a three year old is thinking... :)
My son just pooped on the potty after being pee trained for about 9 months. I knew he could do it but he would only sit on the toilet and hold it until I would give him a diaper. Another mom on this web site said she gave her child "poop juice". It is a mixture of prune juice and apple juice. When her son HAD to go she made him sit on the toilet and he couldn't hold and pooped. I tried this with my son. He managed to hold off pooping for about a day and a half but I didn't give into him. I told him every time he sat on the toilet that he couldn't get up until he tooted. Finally he tried so hard to toot he actually pooped. He has been doing it for almost 3 weeks now knock on wood. Good luck!
