Unsympathetic Husband

It can be extremely hectic on both ends during a pregnancy and the stressses of life sometimes get in our way of sight and we tend to be blind to theres feelings. You're not wrong to be upset and don't take this wrong but I think that he's feeling a little jealous, I think is the best word. Maybe it's just that he wants/needs some of your love and attention. Maybe the two of you could get some alone time together once a week to just focus on your relationship instead of the other life issues. Maybe that would help. I know that my husband felt neglected at times with me being pregnant and all that jazz. To top if off we have three small boys my oldest being 41/2. You guys should speak with each other and see what it is that's really bothering him, especially since you've said that he was always attentive to you. I hope this helps. Try and relax and take it easy, I know it's hard.

No, your not wrong. Your husband sounds like he's being, for lack of a better word, an A-hole. I don't want to curse on here, but you get the idea. He is probably feeling "stressed" because he's thinking of the upcoming work that has to be done when the baby comes along. Our 2nd was just born on tuesday and I just got home from the hospital today. My husband wants me to sit down and relax. You need to remind your husband of all the freedom he still has to do what he wants and all the stuff around the house and the bills and the cooking that he DOES NOT need to do and ask him exactly what he is feeling stressed about. Congratulations and good luck!

Dear B.,
I have been pregnant 5 times and I'm pretty sure I wanted a divorce each time :) ...Emotions run high, even an easy pregnancy is hard. Even the most wonderful man in the world wouldn't/couldn't understand how we are feeling. It takes a toll on everyone and when he gets home tonight you need to tell him that you love him and that you understand it's hard on him but enough is enough...this parenthood thing IS HARD, it's not going to be easy and this is one of the harder times so act like a man...when I was pregnant last time my husband was still going out 2-4 times a week...I put my foot down and I think you should too...especially at high risk for premature labor...what are you going to do call him and wait for him to come home to take you to the hospital? Not to sound like too much of a b***h but I told my honey, he could go out but if I went into labor he'd find out about it when he got home and saw the neighbors in our living room and if he missed the birth of our 5th son well that was his loss. Now is your time, you need to be taken care of...it's almost over(the pregnancy) and like you said it's your last, he can "suffer" and step up right now. Stick up for yourself...nobody else will in this situation. This is always the hardest time for everyone, everyone is stressed out...you are ready to have the baby and get on with life and the strain and pressure is mounting on him as well, this to shall pass! Goodluck and Happy Mother's Day!

Hi B.,
I can picture your husband. I think often husbands are somewhat out of this pregnancy and baby thing. I remember I was doing dishes on day 2 after I came back from hospital though my husband had nice 7 day vacation to take care of me. Anyway, let's not get too emotional here. I think probably your husband is stressed out with his responsibility to support his family and maybe a little jealous because he doesn't get as much attention from you as he used to? But I really hope you don't get too upset or too emotional or too stressed. I tell you, it's bad for you and your baby. Your goal here is how you can be relaxed and happy. Don’t your husband ruin your mood. It's natural to feel upset but don't let it bother you. You can say to yourself, "I'm upset but it's pretty natural to feel that way when my husband is not nice to me." Then don't have give and take with your emotion any more after that. Problem is if you listen to your emotion and have give and take with it, it’ll grow. Also when you need to say something to your husband, you can use “ I message". You say like,” If you are rude to me, I feel you don’t care about me and it hurts my felling.” Instead of “You are hurting my feeling.” This way you’re not blaming him or attacking him.

I think you have every right to feel the way you do. Sounds to me like your husband's got some growing up to do. Not to mention this stress that you are feeling is not good for your baby - or your son. Sometimes mommy's and daddy's need time out's too...so the next time he get's "not so gentle" with your son, remove him from the situation. And lay down some new rules that your husband seems to need to be guided with. Two night a week outtings is wonderful...FOR HIM! Do you ever get any time to yourself? Write all this down, and make him understand and see and realize exactly how you are feeling and that he has some changes to make. It's especially upsetting that he could leave you while you were not only crying but contracting as well...what kind of a man would do that? Like I said, you have every right to feel sad, but instead get mad, and get him to realize that he should step up as a father and as a husband.

On the flip side we should also try to imagine how having another child is making him feel. Even though it was his idea to have another baby, I'm sure he is still feeling the strains and pressure of knowing that now he has more responsibilities to take care of with a bigger family.....i.e., making enough money and the sort of stuff a man always worries about but is too manly to admit. The problem with the husband is always that they can't voice their feelings so instead they get angry and act like children.

Anywyas, good luck with your new baby, and congrats!!!! TRY to take it easy!!!! I hope this all gets better for you NOW cause this a time you really should be enjoying! :)