Looking for adice on potty training my 3 1/2 y/o son. He will empty his bladder on a toilet/potty as long as you give him reminders. Unfortunately, he is afraid of pooping on a toilet and no matter what we try will not budge (we have tried EVERYTHING). Since he is older, his BMs are icky to clean up. We have tried a trial of underwear, going commando, you name it - however - it only leads to a collassal mess for us to clean up. Sorry for TMI, but he will sit with BM caked all over his bottom and up his back without it bothering him. I consulted the pediatrican - he advised me to provide support but tell him if he wants to dirty himself he will have to help clean it up - the doctor thought he would get tired of doing this and eventually surrender to using the toilet. I have tried this - however - I will still help him so that he is thoroughly cleaned and of course his hands are thoroughly cleaned. I keep hoping with age he will eventually snap out of this but right now hubs and I are desperate!! Anyone else go through this and have advice to offer?
My kid was still doing this at 3.5 - it's frustrating but normal. I agree to the potty chair. Also get the book "Everybody Poops" at the library. It's also okay to put him back in pull ups. Repeat this every fifteen minutes: "He will not go to kindergarten in pull ups. He will not go to kindergarten in pull ups." He's just not ready, and that's okay.
My son was very similar. He would pee in the toilet but was afraid to poop in the potty or on the toilet. What worked for us is I just stopped. I didn't remind him, didn't encourage him, didn't even mention pooping or the potty. When he had an accident, I cleaned him up like it was no big deal.
It took about a week and all of a sudden, he pooped in the toilet (We have a seat that fits on the toilet to make the seat smaller). He was very proud and we all celebrated. From that moment on, he continued to poop in the toilet. I really think he needed to feel in control of the process.
You've tried a million things, so try taking a break and doing nothing. It's the easiest idea to try! :-)
Best,
T. Y
Not the same but similar my oldest would not poop in the potty. He went pee like a trooper by two and half, even pooped for a week and then something changed. He would drop his drawers in the dining room and poop on the floor. Talk about frustrating, he clearly knew what he was doing but it wasn't going to happen on the toilet. He was three and a half, damn close to four, we were leaving for Florida to visit my grandpa and all I kept thinking is if he poops in their dining room. how will I explain. Understand this child is 27, things like potty delays were unacceptable back then..
Three days before we left I noticed he hadn't pooped in the dining room in days. He had just started pooping on the potty like he never had issues, never went back to the dining room.
Although he can no tell me exactly why he dumped an entire huge container of Quik all over the kitchen while I was unloading groceries at the same age he does not recall why he would poop in the dining room so sorry, no direct insight.
What kind of toilet are you using? If you are using an insert on the big toilet, try a potty chair. It may not be fun, but better to dump a child's chair than clean underpants, right? Make sure he also has a stepstool that allows him to keep his feet flat and he feels secure. I also reminded my DD that cleaning up takes far longer than stopping to potty appropriately and now she's missing x because she didn't use the toilet.
It is no fun when they won't train as young as the kid next door, but please remember that as gross as it is, 3.5 is not an unusual age for these issues. I knew a girl who didn't train til 4.
ETA:
Though I don't usually encourage pull ups for training, if you are stuck with big messes all the time, then take back the big boy underpants and put him in something disposable for a while.
I also suggest using something as an incentive. We started with M&M's but my second son doesn't like them. ONce we figured that out and switched to skittles, he started using the potty to poop.
We are raising our now 3 year old grandson. He was completely potty trained at 2 years, 4 months. He was easy. Have you tried an incentive or reward system? Some use candy or gum. We tried MnM's, calling them potty candy, and giving one each time he went. He didn't like chocolate, but really enjoyed breath mints. We used mentos because they were soft. Worked like a charm. We also had a sticker bpard, which we use for a n array of things, so he could earn things and watch his progress toward the goal.
if he can tell you he has to poop then give him a diaper, BUT make him sit on the potty with the diaper on. After he does this then you start cutting a hole in the diaper so that some of the poop goes in the potty. Gradually make the hole bigger until it's pretty much all going in the potty.
The other method is to just put him on the potty and tell him he can't get up till he poops in it. Most kids have a set time of pooping and if you know that then you just put him in there a little before that time. If you do this method I suggest putting on his favorite show in the other room as temptation for him to finish.
I gave my son lots of grape juice (its an exlax) and metamucil so he would have to go more often. When I knew he was about to go in his diaper, I would force him to sit on the toilet and hold him there while he went. This went on for 5 days straight then he was no longer afraid.
I'd say he would be sitting on the potty watching TV, playing on a hand held device, and all sorts of stuff. He needs to sit there until he poops a few times. Then he'll be over his fear.
Give him some prune juice so he'll go and not be able to retain it. I would probably set it up where he'll go and not be able to do anything else.
You can't give in and let him up either because he'll stand up and poop.
