So we are currently living with my in-laws. Hubby finally got a new job, so that will be changing soon. (YAY! I love his family, but we really REALLY need our own place again...)
This makes it REALLY hard for us to get intimate. Usually, we wait until we are sure everyone falls asleep, then we try to be *really* quiet... which is made very difficult by our really crappy, squeaky bed. It's to the point that I can't relax and enjoy it, because I'm scared of waking up the baby (she sleeps in our room), or I'm paranoid that his younger sister (bedroom right next to ours) or his parents (across the hall) will hear us. AWKWARD!!! During the day, his mom and sister are usually home. Sometimes they both take off somewhere, but then we have our DD to take care of. There is no place in the house that is safe enough that we can let her play unsupervised long enough for a quickie... and I don't like using her crib as a playpen. Even if I DID, then we wouldn't have anywhere to actually do the deed. I am just too weirded out by the prospect of doing anything in any of the other rooms, where the rest of the family spends time too. lol. Once in a blue moon, we will get lucky and the in-laws will go somewhere during DD's nap time, and hubby and I are able to take a shower together...
NOW it's gotten even more difficult. Hubby has gotten a new job, and has the night shift. He doesn't usually get home and into bed until around 4-5:00am... which is when his dad is usually waking up and getting ready for work.
GAH! We have thought about going and getting a room, but we really can't afford it. Even with this new job, we will be saving everything so that we can get into our own place, Christmas is just around the corner, and we are trying to replenish our savings after having to make an emergency trip to my hometown, on the other side of the country.
Anyone have any suggestions? We have gone from 5-6x a week, to maybe 2-5x a month... and it's been this way for far too long.
ETA...
DD is 17 months old. We don't have a pack n play, or anything like that. We also don't know anyone in the area. (We moved from TX to TN...) I wish the floor would work, but in the bedroom there ISN'T any room. What room isn't taken up by our bed and DD's crib, is used as storage. We only have a small (like 2 feet) aisle between the bed and the crib of 'free' space. We have a Yucon, which would be ideal (seats fold down...) BUT we haven't been able to find anywhere secluded enough for any shenanigans... we have even drove up into the mountains and ran into too much traffic!
Oral. Total oral. AND why don't you like using the crib as a pack and play? If the crib mattress down low enough so it would be safe? As long as nothing is in the crib that she can stand on and the mattress is low enough, GO FOR IT!!! You two need it!
Try going out for the night and have someone babysit and take the car to a nice dark secluded location where no one is around or would drive by. Scout around at night with a drive around town. Have a big blanket on hand to cover up.... and keep the window cracked otherwise you'll steam it up so much and you won't be able to drive for a while. 20 years ago that was the only way me and an old boyfriend where able to be alone.
I wonder if you could pop out into the Yukon in the middle of the night? Is it parked in a garage or secluded driveway?
Maybe take the bed off the frame and just put the mattress/box springs on the floor to cut down on the squeak. Get a small, yet loud fan for your room as white noise to help cover the noises so you can feel better about not waking up your DD.
Honestly, I think you guys need to stop being embarrassed about being a happily married couple that has sex and ASK your family to take your daughter to a play area for a couple hours so you and your hubby can have some "US" time. Don't wait for them to go somewhere during DD's nap time, ASK them to go somewhere during DD's nap time or to take DD somewhere when she's awake. Seriously, they will understand :)
The floor isn't so bad, really! And don't worry about using the crib as a playpen once in awhile. This is a temporary situation, and your little one will not remember it. Give her some toys and take sometime for yourselves.
Totally "second" the folded quilts on the floor! I hate squeaky beds, too! :)
Your situation is stinky, but for now definitely try the floor (you can be completely juvenile, too, and even make a sheet fort as if you were five) and start enjoying oral. You can be a lot quieter with that and it is sometimes a LOT better than nothing.
I'm thinking it would be frugal, and therefore thoughtful, of you to take a shower together every night before your dh goes to work. I'm assuming everyone is home, and therefore you have someone to keep an eye on the baby.
Sex noises are well-concealed by a shower. In fact, I think you need to buy your parents a low-flow shower head, with a stronger spray. It saves water, too, and of course it's a bit louder than your conventional shower head.
The babysitting should be arranged to last through and including the time it takes you guys to get dressed.
And damn, girl, you are in TENNESSEE! There is a National Forest in your backyard!
Other than that, it's not the end of the world, so keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary and jazz your alone time up by talking about all the different places and ways you'll be doing it in your own house, eventually. And oral. That's really quiet and sneaky, like the other posters said ;)
Bathroom? Floor? I get what you mean. We lived with my parents for about 3 months while we got back on our feet and sex was not something both of us were doing a lot of. lol. But you know what? Your parents know you are married, know you have kids, know you have sex. Who cares if the bed squeaks!
L.
i'd say take your bed off the frame and put it directly on the floor so there won't be noise...also leaned over the bend standing doesn;t make noiise. Honestly, if youre married i'd talk to his parents without mentioning too much and say you're suffering from not being able to be intimate and see if they can offer to watch her, and get a night out and drive somewhere secluded, or mayeb they have sugestions...idk when theres a will theres a way...lock yourse;ves in the bathroom together!
ADDED: my cousin lives with her inlaws and theyre moreopen sexually in the family, but everyone knows soon as she gets a showers, hes coming right in for her, the only place for privacy for them, try it!
Put your kid in the pack n play/crib and lay a quilt on the floor... we lived with the inlaws for a few months too.
Five to six times a week, with a baby????!!!!! I'm surprised you two want to do anything but sleep!!! Oh Mama!!
I would use a playpen to put her in.. It is important that the 2 of you have this time together and your daughter will be fine in a playpen..
Or is she still young enough for the baby swing? Remember you can place the monitor next to her during this time.
Do you guys have a tent or a camper that you 2 can go "Camping" sometime soon. Offer to house sit for any friends at any time.. ..
Take a car ride, put the baby to sleep in the car and go find an adventurous spot to park the car and have some fun! GL
M
White noise!! We have a humidifier fan in our room that is always on full blast, as our 6 month old is still in our room. That's the only way we get any QT. Also, lock the door, or put a heavy laundry basket in front of the door.
i feel your pain! we have sex maybe once a month if we are lucky..but our reason is diff. we always seem to have a little person in our bed when we are in the mood. anyway getting back to your prob. take a shower together. have sex in the shower if its not big enough do it on the sink but turn the shower on and take a shower after if it makes you feel better. i mean the parents know you all have seen each other naked you have a baby! if you dont want to do that have sex on the floor in the bed room that solves the loud bed issue :)
how about go out to dinner and afterward do it in the car. the car is always exciting! Bend over the bed or sink so the bed doesn't squeak. do it on the floor. do it out back after everyone is in bed..in the dark. ;o)
splurge and get a hotel room.
bend over the bath sink
We were in a similar situation once, and found that a roomy (or not so roomy) shower can be the way to go. the fan and water help cover sound- it was weird at first, but we made it work. You will too! Just have one do all necessary cleaning, then get in with, do your business, and the second one stays to finish cleaning up! It works in a pinch
don't know your ages or health but there's always a pallet on the floor. Works wonders and no squeaky mattresses plus it will relieve a lot of stress and tension. :)
We've had to do this when stuck with MIL during hurricanes in the past and the power outages from them can last a few days to a few months & we have to run the generators to save what's in our freezers and fridges... The floor, even at our ages, works although we are both taking ibuprofen and/or Aleve or Naproxen the next day but well worth it! ;)
Good Luck.
Don't know about the car ride deal. I'm not knocking it though I will say that DH and I were almost caught despite being in a very secluded area. Turned out it was a P. where teens went, which is why we went on a night when teens couldn't go but in the years since our teens, the local cops had stepped up patrols. The officer was nice and never commented on the subject. I guess he saw our belongings in the backseat & the travel rack plus it was just after a hurricane and figured we were stuck with family w/no time to ourselves so we didn't even receive a warning.
Besides, it was tough b/c we had taken my car, which was a 5-speed manual transmission. It's not the easiest car to fool around in. LOL! Compact, lay back seats but the gear-shift in the floor made it difficult but it was a heck of a lot better than his 4wd truck with only 1 seat and no space plus it was a manual transmission too w/an even more inconvienent stick-shift in the floor. I should know b/c I got the truck after my car went kaput. I'd still opt for the floor anytime! Thick comforters helps as do sleeping bags if you have hard floors with no padding under them. It's why we have 10lb padding under our carpet and have had since we put it in 16+yrs ago. LOL!
