TWINS Suggestions

More than anything, she'll need help both before and after in taking care of her son. She'll be quite tired, so having someone come over to play with him a few afternoons would be a true gift. And afterwards she's going to be fairly sleep deprived for several months... so people to cook dinners, offer to clean her house, take her son for a day so she can nap when the babies do, etc. Presents of time will far outweigh any money you could spend.

In terms of actual stuff - yeah, she'll need two cribs, two high chairs, and two seats (bouncers, swings, whatever) for the babies. I used a maternity belt and loved it from about 30 weeks onwards.

For what it's worth, I found out at 20 weeks too. What a lovely shock!

My sister has twins and we all freaked out about what she needed and what needed to be doubled. Here's what we found:
- DIAPERS... lots of them, buy them every time you see them on sale
- do NOT double up on clothing b/c they can "share" (unless different sexes)
- avoid "matching" outfits unless mom is really into them
- give your TIME... my sister needed a lot of help during the first several months. Between my mother, her mother-in-law and three sisters there was someone with her most of the day after her husband went back to work.

Buy things as you go along- she may need a maternity belt or she may not. My sister didn't. She may want to wear dresses or she may not... kind of not your "choice" here.

Be aware of their storage situation and buy accordingly. She will need two high chairs, two car seats, two cribs and a new stroller, but not two of everything!

I also didn't find out until 19 weeks that i was having twins. You definitly are more uncomfortable. I didn't like the belly belt, but she might. I was on bed rest for most of the months that I was huge anyways. I did have 2 wsings, but I felt like I was mostly just switching them off between the bouncy seat and the swing. So if space is a problem (2 swings take up a lot of space) she will be fine with one. Really the nicest thing I got was LOTS of diapers. It gets so expensive to diaper 2 babies (I actually had 3 in diapers for a little bit)!

Tell her good luck and to enjoy every min. as much as she can! I felt like the first year I was just on survival mode ( which is totally normal) But I wish I remembered it more. Now mine are 3 and it is so much fun, they are BEST friends and always have a little buddy to play with!

I did not need bigger maternity clothes for my twin pregnancy, nor have I ever needed a maternity belt. I actually wore my regular jeans until about 24 weeks - it all depends on how she carries.

I would be prepared fer her to be on partial or full bedrest towards the end, at about 34-35 week (once you hit 36 weeks you're OK to deliver). I had really easy pregnancies but was put on BR for weeks 34 and 35 and it took A LOT of help to get my family through that, so maybe get together a list of people now who could be called on to help out with meals, shoplingm running errands, cleaning, and caring for her toddler if she needs to take it easy close to the finish line.

With my twin pregnancy, the biggest physical changes were that my feet really, really ached from about the end of month 6 to the end and my body just ached a lot. I took a lot of lukewarm baths using eucalyptus bath salts to ease the aches. Look ahead to the last month or two before her due date and see what normally needs to be done and maybe pool resources to help out or hire someone to do what she won't be able to do. Even if she's not on bed rest, if she normally does seasonal things like garden or take care of a pool or mow the lawn etc. then it would be nice to get someone to help out with that so her husband doesn't have to take over everything. A cleaning service maybe every other week for the last month or two would also be nice - I hated not being able to wash my kitchen floor, but DH was already picking up a lot of my slack so I didn't want to add that to his to-do list.

You're so sweet to be asking this!

We didn't get two of everything for our twins. We had one swing- one of the girls hated it. We had two bouncy seats, two bumbo seats. We used space saver highchairs, two excersaucers and two cribs. I wish he had kept them in the same crib longer than we did. One of our girls started waking every hour when they were seperated. Your cousin should check to see if there is a Mothers of Multiples group in her area. They often have people who are finished with their things and they give great advice.

EDIT: Oh, I went through two maternity belts!

forget 2 swings & 2 bouncers.....1 of each is all she'll need. She'll learn to rotate the twins in/out & have them take turns in the misc equipmt.

She will need 2 beds, 2 high chairs, 1 twin stroller. & lots of diapers, wipes, & backup help!

As for the maxi dresses: I don't get it! Twins will not make her any bigger than most other pregnancies. My family is proof of that! My SIL had twins (weighing 7lbs each) & only gained 30lbs! My sis on the other hand...wow... normally she's a size 3 & during pregnancy she gains 50+ lbs! I would tread carefully on the whole maxi dress issue.....it's quite possible that you will hurt her feelings! Pregnant women want to appear polished, well-dressed, & comfortable.....

If you do get two of everything, I would suggest getting things like portable swings where they are half the size and price. Maybe get one bouncer and one swing in case one prefers to bounce and one swings. For high chairs I would get the kind that sit on the chairs. There are some that recline just like full size ones. They usually around $40 each instead of in the 100's. so look for more compact options. They make them out there. I would also look at IKEA. Everything there is at a reasonable price and made for little space. Which two of everything fullsize would take up a LOT of space.
Maxi dresses, wrap dresses (those are great for post pregnancy especially if she breast feeds)

Here is what I needed...
After Pregnancy: 1 crib...they sleep better together I did not use 2 cribs until they were a year old. 2 car seats, 1 diaper bag, 2 swings, 2 bouncy chairs, 2 high chairs, 1 changing table, 1 boppy. Also if she is going to breastfeed them 1 of 2 things.. .either they will refuse to share or she will get to tandem. Mine refused to share. 2 sets of the lilypads (they are plastic suction cup type breast pads... it will SAVE on her nipples.)

Before Pregnancy: I really can't tell you because each pregnancy is different. 2 weeks before I had my twins I was 67" around and all out front. I had to make my clothes and when I went into the hospital to have my babies my tummy was poking out of my clothes. I had my twins at 36 weeks 1 day weighing in at 7lbs 12 oz and 6 lbs 10 oz with fused placentas weighing 5lbs. Just try to do comfort as much as possible. I was very uncomfortable near the end.

I would HIGHLY suggest the maternity belt :) I have one I use for about 30 weeks on with my singleton pregnancies and I can't imagine not using it -- or carrying 2 babies without it! Using it regularly helped me completely eliminate my sciatica that was ailing me too :)

my SIL was basically in the same situation a little over a year ago.

She needed 2 cribs, 2 carseats (actually see if she still has her infant carseat from her first son... and see about getting another one of the same brand and model if that one is still safe to use) If her son's crib is not in use that could be used for one of the twins... and it might be nice to get another one that matches that crib. If he is ready to transition to a "big kid bed" now or soon would be a good time to start. She'll probably want a double, or even triple stroller. My nephew always has to walk, even on long days out because they only have a double stroller... so that might be a big combo gift for the whole family to get in on! (since the nice ones are PRICEY!)

TONS of diapers... from teeny tiny to size 3 or 4, unless she will be using cloth, than she would need a "double stash" of diapers... maybe about 36

Free and clear detergent... bulk size for washing baby clothes and baby gear.

If she is planning to breastfeed or cosleep she'll probably want a nice size cosleeper to put next to her bed. Eventually she'll need two highchairs... (does she still have 1?) My highchair was inexpensive and simple from IKEA... and SO easy to clean- keep in mind that frills and cushions will be used a lot, so keep it simple to wipe up!

Find out what she still has from her first son... then wait a bit till you know the sexes of the babies... she'll need more stuff if these either of twins are girls, obviously. Stick with 1 swing for now, if both babies used them a lot, a second can be purchased later.

If you want to help her with maternity clothes... get her a filled up gift card and let her pick for herself. That way if she gets something and decides that she hates it she wont have to feel guilty to everyone else about not wearing it- maternity clothes can be that way.

She may want a double sling.... I think baby k'tan makes one. You'll have to ask her.

But... don't be afraid to hold off a bit. Buying two of everything and then finding out they don't have enough room will be a bummer.

Oh- and my SIL likes "almost matching" clothes for her boys. Get the same outfit in two different colors... It is nice becasue they still look adorable and "twinish"- but you can tell them apart easily and you end up with several pieces that are easy to mix and match. And get her a TON of plain white baby socks... nothing is more annoying that a drawer of baby socks that you can only match half of them!

Congrats to your cousin!

My girlfriend had twins when her first was 2 and these are the things I noticed that she did:
- She did have two of everything
- She had a belly band to hold them up
- She was on a STRICT schedule with all of them to maintain control

Outside of that I am not sure what else she did but she did feel overwhelmed a LOT! I had my first son two days before her twins were born and I would call her about once a week to see how she was doing. I can tell you, it made me feel like my life with a new baby was a cake walk compared to her. Of all people, she held it together great but it was a lot to manage. I couldn't have done it.

Good luck to your cousin, she will do GREAT!

I also had a two year old son and twins. Congratulations and commiseration for your cousin:)
Wait until the babies are here to actually buy two of anything. One of my twins hated the swing so we didn't get another, but both loved the bouncy seat so we got two of those. And you may not even need two cribs for a bit, mine wouldn't sleep in anything but their carseats for the first month.
Maxi dresses are a good idea. At the end for me, I had one jumper that I could wear, and a massive pair of overalls with my husbands tshirts. Sad days.
Finding someone to watch my two year old when I went to countless dr. appointments and tests in the final months was one of my biggest stresses. If she can find one person who can always take him, that would be a relief of stress.
She probably has all of the equipment that she needs since she's got a two year old. Focus more on the emotional support she'll need. It's an exhausting path she's on and the more emotional support she has the better. And time, time, time. Even someone taking the two year old for an hour away from home during a babies' nap will help. Offers to do small household chores (dishes, vacuum, scrub a sink, fold a load of laundry, etc.) will go a long way in helping her cope.
Looks to me like she's already got a good support system:) Good luck!

My first suggestion is to help her find her local parents of multiples club (enter her zip code in the "find a club" search box at the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs web site http://www.NOMOTC.org) - the local club is a great resource for support groups, useful info like which local OBs have a lot of twin-delivery experience (esp. if you want to try for a vaginal birth instead of C-section - an OB's willingness to attempt vaginal deliveries when, for example, twin B is breech, will depend a lot on how much twin delivery experience that OB has), which pediatrician offices are twin-friendly, which local businesses give multiples discounts, etc. And most clubs will have a 'classifieds' section of their web site or newsletter and at least one annual 'garage sale' where you can get awesome deals on clothes and gear.

A very helpful piece of advice from our club's former president - DON'T buy two swings, bouncies, etc. because some babies really don't like swings, others don't like bouncies, and you won't know whether your babies like either until after they've arrived. So start with no more than one of any of those things and if both the babies like it, pick up a second one at a secondhand store or garage sale - these are used for a relatively short period of time so there's a great chance you can get a gently-used one for less than half the price of a new one.

No hurry-besides the carseat and possibly stroller, she won't need two of everything for awhile. We were in a very small apartment, and it was easier to get things as we needed them (some family and friends gave us IOUs for the shower-I will buy you high chairs when you need them...). Babies will share a bed for some time, too. My car seats, twin stroller and twin breastfeeding pillow got me by for some time.

She need a Baby K'tan or Moby Wrap. That way she can hold one or both babies, but still have her hands free and be able to chase her older baby.

And I thought of one other thing: Happiest Baby on the Block (get the DVD), and great swaddle blankets. A lifesaver.