C.B.
E.,
My twins went through the same things so we had to do a couple of things. The first is that we got a book called "1.2.3 Magic" and started to use the techniques right away and they worked. The other thing that we did was when they started to be mean to each other we would separate them and let them know that if they were not going to be nice to each other then they were not allowed to be with each other, this is still very effective for us. As they are getting older we put them both on time (as we never really know who hit first or who did the instigating) and they get to come off time out when they tell us 2 nice things(when they are 2 and 3 nice things when they are 3 and so on as they get older) that they can do for each other instead of hitting each other. When they come off time out they have to apologize to each other, the apology looks some thing this, " I'm sorry for hitting you, next time I will keep my hands to myself and use my words, will you forgive me?" then they hug each other.
I hope this helps and good luck with the twins, it gets better when they are about 4.
God Bless,
C.